Sinful in Seattle
by forbidden bliss
Summary: What was supposed to be only one night turns into something much more complicated. Like they say, fate has a cruel sense of humor. "We are compelled to do what is forbidden." E/B AH **UPDATED 11/25/11** CH 18 UP!
1. Chapter 1

**Inspired by watching waaaaaay too much Sex and the city…first fic so give me some feedback. No throwing tomatoes, por favor. The song for this chapter is Melissa Ferrick "Drive". Listen to it if you enjoy dirty songs ;) **

**What do you get when you mix tequila shots, a battle of wits, Dr. McDreamy, a sex columnist and bake at 400 degrees? A steamy and sizzling serving of Sinful in Seattle. Enjoy while hot.**

**I don't own Twilight. **

"Some rise by sin and fall by virtue."

**BPOV**

_Why is it that as humans we constantly seek companionship? It's in our nature. It's inscribed in our DNA to want to have someone in our lives. Why? It makes us feel worth while. Why? No man nor woman has ever lived to tell the tale._

_I have given up on finding a decent guy in Seattle. There are a ton of single men in this city and I have dated about forty-five percent of them. I've decided I'm going to let love find me instead of me finding it. Who wants to chase cupid down this time of year anyway? I'll let cupid track me down around Valentine's Day._

_A and R aren't too pleased with my decision of halting operation Mr. Right. As many times as I try to explain this is for the best, they simply say I'm taking the easy way out of the love game._

_They're right; I've been dating ten years and I'm already exhausted. So operation Mr. Right Now is about to commence: I don't need anything serious at this point in my life._

_A seems to believe that my single days are numbered. I argue that; after Wolverine I don't want to claim another victim._

_Hail Mary! Hear our cries! Where have all the good men gone?_

_Here is my advice ladies: if you find yourself in constant game of cat and mouse with Cupid then stop. Prince charming is most likely not here in Seattle. Trust me, I would have found him already. He's probably sipping a latte with your knight in shining armor in East LA, doing lunch with the man of your dreams in Atlanta, and having cocktails in the Hamptons with Mr. Right._

_That's all the more reason to stop looking. The man is out there; he'll be found when he's ready. In fact, he could be right under your nose._

_Until then, don't knock every dude off their high horse for coming to talk to you. Everyone has their sleazy moments; even Mr. Right. There is no reason not have fun before you settle down._

_Remember, the guy isn't going to have 'Man of your dreams, here!' tattooed on to their forehead. Give that newbie a chance and show him how it's done. Take a deep breath, don your extra cute shoes, the outfit that screams 'Your missing out if you don't buy me a drink', and an attitude to match. Round up some friends and hit the city that never stops raining and paint the streets red._

_-Bella Swan,_

_**Sinful in Seattle**_

_***_

"I'm not wearing those."

Alice quirked an eyebrow at me while she watched me huff on to my bed. "Why not?"

I rubbed my eyes with my hands. "Because," I said, "I would like to live to see another day, thank you very much."

"Silly Bella!" she tossed the shoes on to the bed next to me. She smiled at me quickly, and then turned back into my closet.

I groaned. "Alice, these shoes are going to hurt me. They have spikes!"

"That's called a _heel,_ sweetie. Say it with me. Hiiiiiigh heeelsss."

I made the motion to strangle her while she had her back turned to me, earning a laugh from Rosalie who was lying on my bed with me flipping through a magazine. I turned and glared at her.

"Really Bella, you should dress better. People know who you are now, so you have to dress accordingly," Rosalie explained. I elbowed her in the ribs. "Fuck! Stop being a brat."

I scowled at her while picking up the shoes and examining them. "I don't even know where these came from…" I mumbled to myself.

"I bought them for you!" Alice's voice came from the closet.

"It looks like Satan would wear those."

Rose smirked at me. "Well, you know the devil wears Prada."

I sneered at her from over my shoulder. "Original, Rose." I sighed, tossing the shoes back on to the bed beside me. "Where are we going tonight?" I asked in defeat.

"We're going to that new club that just opened up! _Pulse_, I think it was. It doesn't matter," Alice dismissed with a wave of her hand. "What does matter is that we get you in going out perfection. Now stop resisting."

My groan was muffled by the pillow Rosalie shoved on top of my head.

"If it's that painful to go out and _enjoy_ yourself, just think of it as work. Think about new techniques for picking up men in clubs that you can write about. You know that's always a success."

"Fine, you can do what you want to me. But if—"

"Stop right there!" Alice screeched from the closet with a shirt in her hands. "I'm acting before you can provide the rebuttal. Rose, we've got work to do!"

Two hours later, Alice was admiring her work.

"Oh, Bella, you look beautiful!" Alice clapped her hands together as she stared at my reflection in the mirror. "You always are but this…this is a masterpiece!"

"Thanks, Alice." I rose from the stool in the bathroom and walked back into my room. Alice had laid out an outfit consisting of a plain blue tank top and black skinny jeans. I slipped them on without argument, knowing my attempts would be futile. But I still eyed the heels like they would attack me.

Rosalie snorted. "They're not going to eat you."

"Fucking shoes…" I muttered under my breath. I slipped on the death traps and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair hung down my shoulders in loose waves and Alice had even gone light on my makeup tonight for once.

"Are we ready?" Alice called from the kitchen.

The three of us shared an apartment together in downtown Seattle. We had met our sophomore year of college at the University of Washington and have been inseparable ever since. Honestly I don't know how much in common I had with Alice or Rose. They both had their love for fashion and shopping that bonded them. It seemed the only thing bonding them to me is that I loved them, which was good enough for me.

"I suppose so." I reached into my bag and grabbed my keys. Alice snatched them out of my hand and shook her head at me. "What?"

"The club isn't far. We're walking."

Locking up the apartment and riding the elevator down were taking considerably less time than I suspected they would. I guess I really just needed to man up and just go out.

I graduated UW with a degree in English. After my graduation my dad, Charlie, turned to me, huffed out his chest and asked, "English? What the hell are you going to do with English?"

At the time I didn't have an answer for him. I actually didn't until this opportunity kind of fell into my lap a little over two years ago. I had done some free lance writing here and there for magazines and newspapers and even got a job at a publishing agency that was good experience. But one day I received a phone call from the Editor in Chief over at the _Seattle Observer _asking for a meeting.

He briefly explained what they were looking for: a sex columnist. He told me what the position would entail and what was expected if I were to accept the job. I remember stuttering and asking why in the world they thought of me for this job. Sure I wasn't a virgin, but I hadn't been laid enough in my eyes to be a sex columnist.

"You're an amazing writer," he had said to me, "and you're young. All we're asking you to do is to write about your life, your romances, your dating tips, and whatever else you feel like."

He made ma an offer I couldn't refuse: he nearly doubled the salary I was getting at the publishing agency. I could work from home. I wouldn't ever have to step foot in the office unless I wanted to. Really? A dream come true for me.

So for the past year, I've been going out more, dating more, and obviously, having sex more. I dished about my bad break ups, along with Rose and Alice's (not first without them approving the edit) and my life. It wasn't long before I received emails asking how I met all these men.

The air in Seattle in August was thick and muggy. It was misting slightly, but not much, so if we walked quickly to the club we wouldn't get wet.

Alice was practically bouncing with excitement when we arrived in front of Pulse. There was a line around the corner and there was a very loud base coming from behind the front doors. A very large man with dark hair was standing outside the front door with a clip board in his hands. He looked like he could eat all three of us and have room for dessert.

This didn't faze Rosalie. She waltzed right up to him, placed a lingering hand on his forearm, and pressed her body up against his side while whispering something into his ear. We all knew how to stork the male ego; it was just less likely to get turned down using Rose as the bait. Who turns down a woman who belongs in magazines?

No one, which is my point exactly. She giggled a little and suddenly the rope is whisked aside for us three to enter. The bouncer had a look on his face that read something like I am male, hear me roar.

We settled at a small round table that was close enough to the dance floor for us to see any potential males, yet far enough away so we wouldn't see sweaty bodies groping each other as we tried to drink in peace.

"I'll get the first round. Beer?" Rose asked, placing her purse on her shoulder.

"And tequila shots!" Alice chirped. Rose grinned mischievously and disappeared.

"Tequila?" I asked, letting my head drop to the table. I was about to let it drop again but Alice's little hand got in the way and shoved me back up.

"You're going to ruin your makeup if you keep doing that. And get a nasty bruise while you're at it." She reached in her bag for her cell phone as if she got a text from some one. "Tequila is fun."

"Tequila makes my clothes fall off."

"That's the point," she retorted. I sighed. I was never going to win.

"Bottoms up!" Rosalie declared. She set down a bucket with three beers and handed both of us a shot from her other hand. She situated herself in her seat before raising her shot glass in the air.

"Bottoms up!" Alice and I shouted together. I licked the salt off the rim of the glass, downed the amber liquid, and bit into the lime. My cheeks instantly puckered, and I felt a familiar burn in the back of my throat. Oh Jose, it's always a good night with you.

The night was going along very smoothly. We danced together and even with some partners. Alice and Rose got asked to dance and accepted every time. I however declined half of them; it was for their own benefit.

"Whew!" Alice chugged down the last of her beer. "We're running on empty!"

I laughed and stood up from my stool. "My turn! I'll be back. More tequila?"

"Yes!"

"Got it!" I wandered my way to the bar. It was crowded with people and as far as I could see there were only two bartenders working. A man retreated from the bar with drinks in his hand so I dashed for his spot.

I leaned over the bar to see that I was dead center, and there were two bartenders at either side. The closest one was about ten people away. I sighed, plopped my clutch on the bar and sunk into the stool.

"Yeah, I know," a smooth velvety voice said beside me.

I turned, kind of surprised that I could hear someone over the music, but I guess it would be hard to miss a voice that sounded like bells. The man smiled at me, with one corner of his mouth tugging higher than the other. It was a cute little quirk that fit his face well.

He had the brightest green eyes I'd ever seen in person. Sure I've seen pictures of people with eyes like that, but it's totally different starring into them first hand. It's mesmerizing. His bronze hair seemed to be sticking up in every direction possible, but it wasn't spiked. It seemed like he just rolled out of bed and that happened, which was half the appeal. His button down shirt was rolled up to his elbows, offering a much appreciated view of the muscles and tendons of his forearms.

I cleared my throat and returned his smile. _Game on, Swan._ "How long have you been waiting for your drink?"

His smile grew and he ran a hand through his hair. "A while." He chuckled as he watched my face drop.

I leaned back over at the bar to try and catch on of the bartenders eye. No such luck. I turned back to the beautiful man next to me. His eyes were sparkling at something he must have found amusing.

"I guess if you can't get service here, no one can," he observed. I blushed slightly at his words. I sucked in a breath and tossed my hair over my shoulder; a move Rose had showed me.

"Well I could say the same for you," I stated, my voice slightly deeper than I had planned on. I stuck out my hand for him to shake. "Bella."

He chuckled. "I'm Edward." He took my hand in his, and for the split second we were touching, I felt an electric shock pass through my veins.

"So what do you do, Edward?" I asked, trying to make small talk. The man was beautiful, but I was expecting something like hair model to come out of his mouth.

"I'm a doctor," he answered sheepishly. I felt my jaw slacken slightly. "Well, to be honest I'm a surgeon. Or will be, once I finish my residency."

"Where at?"

"Virginia Mason," he said, the corners of his mouth tugging up slightly. He must have been amused at my surprised expression.

"What about you, Bella? What is it that you do?" The way he said my name sent my skin into goose bumps.

"I write for the _Seattle Observer._" I toyed with a coaster that was left from the last customer.

"Oh a writer? That must be very fulfilling."

I frowned instantly. What the hell? "Excuse me?"

I watched his eyes widen slightly and him shake his head. "No! Sorry, that's not at all what I meant. Well, it's actually exactly what I meant. I didn't mean for you to take it the way you did, though."

I turned away from him to face the bar. Where were those fucking bartenders?

"Take it the way I did?"

"Yes," he snapped. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I'm sure it is very fulfilling."

I fought back a grin. He was playing the cards just right, and if I held out for just a little bit longer then he would feel guilty, buy me a drink and offer me to dance. I had this shit down to a science.

"It was very rude of you," I snapped right back. If only he could see the fact I was laughing on the inside.

"I apologize." He turned to get a better look at my face as if that would get him some indication. "But I must say, for someone who is as attractive and snarky as you seem to be, the whole kicking while the man is down tactic seems a little elementary."

"E-Excuse me?"

His grin only widened as I stuttered. "You know, the whole I offended you, not on purpose of course, so you're going to milk it for what it's worth in hopes that I'll buy you and your friends' drinks and offer you a dance later on tonight."

I licked my lips. "Is it working?"

I watched his eyes dart from my eyes to my lips and him shift unconsciously as my tongue left my mouth. My mouth tugged into a smirk as his gaze finally lifted back up to mine and smirk appeared on his own lips. "You bet," he answered truthfully, his voice slightly strained.

I must have hit the jack pot or Santa must have thought I've been very good this year so I deserved something early. Or naughty, depending on how you looked at it.

I turned my attention back to the bar and caught the bartenders' eye. I smiled and did a small wave, hoping to lure him over to where Edward and I were perched. It worked.

"What can I get for you tonight, babe?"

"Three beers and three shots of Jose," I returned, and then shot a look at Edward. "And…"

"Make it six beers and three shots."

The bartender nodded, and turned away to grab our drinks. I leaned back on to my stool. "Three, huh? I didn't realize you were waiting on drinks for your friends as well."

"Do I seem like the kind of person who comes to bars by themselves in hopes that beautiful women plant themselves next to me?" he asked.

"Not entirely," I smiled at him, which he returned without hesitation. "So do you live near here?"

"As of a few days ago, yes," he replied. "I just moved here about two weeks ago or so from the east coast."

"That's a pretty big jump. What is it? Two time zones?"

He laughed heartily and it sounded like music to my ears. "Something like that." He was glancing at me in a way that my heart was jumping in my chest and made me want to pounce on him.

_Down girl._

"Okay, that'll be 34 bucks," the bartender interrupted. He placed the last shot in front of me while putting the bucket with six beers in it in front of Edward.

"Oh, we're actually separate—"

"No problem," Edward answered. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"No! No, I can't let you do that, especially when I made a fool out myself earlier. Please, allow me. Let me buy you and your friends' drinks." I argued, reaching into my purse to retrieve my own wallet.

"No, Bella." Edward put his hand on top of mine. "I've got this, okay?"

I bit my lip roughly as his winter fresh breath swept across my face. Who constantly chews on tic-tacs? "I can't let you."

He smiled. "Yes, I can actually. Watch me." He reached in his wallet, retrieving two twenties and some ones and handing them to the bartender. "Keep the change."

I scowled as I put my wallet back into my purse. "Thanks," I muttered. I blushed as he just kept smiling and looking at me.

"Tell you what," he started. "I'll let you buy the next round of drinks, if we happen to bump into each other again tonight, or some other night for that matter."

"Oh really? What if we were to bump in a place where there were no drinks offered?"

"Then I suppose you're stuck with buying me dinner or a movie—you know, depending on wherever we bump into each other," he added with a grin.

I've never seen a man smile more than this one in front of me. But I don't think I've ever smiled this much either, so I'm not sure what to make of it.

"Well if that's the case then I really hope to bump into you sometime soon," I said slyly.

His eyes grew a slightly darker shade of green as he watched my lips. "I really hope we bump into each other soon as well." He stood from his stool and offered his hand out to help me down from mine. As I tried to maintain balance, he leaned down and whispered into my ear, "Perhaps you should give me your phone number? Just so we can insure we'll bump into each other soon."

"Of course!" I squeaked. He chuckled as I reached for a cocktail napkin and an abandon pen on the bar. I scribbled it down and handed it to him with a little blush on my cheeks.

He looked at it briefly before tucking it into his front pocket of his jeans. "Would you like help with the drinks?"

"That would be lovely, thank you." I gripped the bucket in my hand as Edward took the shot glasses in his and slowly led him away from the bar. I managed my way back the table that was now currently empty. I set the bucket down and whirled around trying to find them.

"Dancing?" Edward asked.

"Most likely," I sighed. "Either that or using the restroom. Beer kind of runs through them."

He laughed softly and set the shots down. "Of course." He turned to face me with a smile on his face. "Well it was wonderful meeting you, Bella, but I think if I don't return soon my friends are going to die of thirst deprivation."

"Of course! You know, who can survive without their alcohol," I joked.

"Who can indeed?" His eyes smoldered mine for the moment they were starring at me. He cleared his throat and held out his hand. I stuck it out but instead of shaking it, Edward brought it up to his lips and placed a small, sweet kiss on the back. "I hope we can bump into each other sometime very, very soon, Bella."

"I hope so too," I hinted. His grin never faded as he grabbed three beers by their necks with one hand and walked away into the crowd.

I collapsed in my chair and started to fan myself, trying to put out the fire that had started in my hand.

I was hoping we'd bump into each other _extremely_ soon.

The night continued on with several more beers, tequila shots, and I think we finally called it quits after a round of screaming orgasms. The three of us stumbled out of the club at two in the morning, somehow still managing to walk in our something inch heels, singing dead early nineties songs by Backstreet Boys and N*Sync.

The last thing I remember was throwing my shoes against the wall next to my closet and falling on to the bed, not bothering with the sheets or blankets.

And now it was bright. Very, very bright. Uncomfortably bright.

My face was hot. I threw an arm over my eyes, effectively blocking out the light but I was still left with the heat issue. I sat up quickly, only to fall right back on to the pillows.

Fuck. My head was _killing _me. Hello, hangover.

I sat up again, more slowly this time, inwardly grimacing at every throb of my head. "Oh my…" I swung my legs over the edge until they cam in contact with the carpet and rested my elbows on my knees. Rubbing my temples in small circles, the visions of last night came rushing back to me.

Scary heels. Tequila shots. Gorgeous doctor. More tequila. Bad nineties music.

I somehow managed to make my way out of my room and into the kitchen. Rose was sitting at the counter with a magazine out in front of her while clutching a steaming cup of coffee.

"Good morning, sunshine," Alice sang while pouring herself a cup.

"Fuck you and your ability to never be hung over." I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and shoved it to her so she could pour me a cup. "What's on the agenda today?"

Alice put the mug back in my hands and started searching for the Splenda. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe a lazy day or something? I assume you and Rose are hung over and therefore are useless until at least six tonight."

"You know me so well."

She snorted softly. "Yeah, well I'm thinking we'll try to go to that place that just opened up tonight? Trinity, I think? Whatever it's called—it'll be great for your column. Apparently it's the place to be these days."

Rose opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off by the ringing of my cell phone. I held up a finger at the two of them and sprinted back into my room, curious as to who would call me at this ungodly hour.

It was a number I didn't know. I bit my lip, about to let my voicemail pick it up, but decided to just answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi!" a smooth voice called in my ear. The man paused, I'm guessing because he was surprised I answered. "Bella? This is Edward. I met you last night…"

"Yeah! Hey." He was bypassing the three day rule…interesting.

"Well that was a very detailed response. Someone a little hung over?" he laughed.

"That's a definite possibility," I stated dully. "Although normally after drinking my weight in beer and tequila I usually wake up just huge ball of sunshine."

He laughed again and I decided that I really liked the sound. "That sounds like it's an unusual morning for you then," he joked.

"Yeah it is. Hung over and the guy from last night calls before three days? I must have really done a number on myself last night."

He coughed nervously. "Yes, about last night…" he paused cautiously. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Not yet," I answered coolly. The trick with men who ask if you have plans is not to lie; if you don't then don't say you do. Just play it off that just because you don't have them yet doesn't mean you won't have them later.

"Well then I'm going to have to snag you before someone else does." I felt my heart skip a beat with his words. He chuckled softly and continued, "Would you be opposed to bumping into each other sometime tonight? For drinks maybe? Or something else if drinking your weight in tequila last night will prevent you from drinking tonight."

"Please, no more tequila talk! My brain can't seem to forget poor Jose." I bit my lip slightly and tugged on a loose thread from my shirt. "Drinks sound lovely."

"Great! Does Chopstix sound alright to you?"

"The piano bar on Roy Street?"

"Yep."

"Sure, sounds great. Nine?"

"Perfect."

I hung up the phone and tried to wipe the smug smile off my face but it was pointless.

"Bella!"

I walked back into the kitchen and sat down next to Rosalie. They both were looking at me with smiles on their faces. "What?"

"You just got a date! I can tell by your smile. It's almost as good as your post orgasm smile," Alice inferred.

"It's weird that you know that, Alice."

She shrugged and I heard Rosalie laugh next to me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and squeezed them slightly. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Or next victim," Alice interrupted.

I bit my lip as I murmured, "He's a doctor. We're meeting for drinks at Choptix."

Alice arched an eyebrow. "The piano bar?" I nodded. "Wow. The guy is cheesy."

"Alice! It could be fun. Besides he's cute, it's worth drinks to go out with him. If I need to be rescued, you both will get the 911 text."

Alice grinned. "Okay, fine. But we need to get some food in us before I die of starvation over here," Rosalie said.

***

Seven and half hours later, and after a huge meal of spaghetti with Rose and Alice, I was primped and polished and declared 'ready' by Alice for my "cheesy date with the hot doctor".

I shut the apartment door on their calls of "Have fun!" and "Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

It was a relatively short walk to Chopstix. I had only been to the place once, with Alice and Rose, and it was more of we were drunk and curious. Never have we returned to the place.

But the idea of being able to test this guy and watch his reactions as the pianists flirt unabashedly with me was putting a slight thrill in me. That was until I saw him leaning against the brick of the building with his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans. He wasn't dressed up at all—in fact he was incredibly casual. And it was completely irresistible.

His eyes met mine and he immediately pushed off the wall with his foot and started to walk towards me. He was wearing a worn out The Who's t-shirt that clung to his body in all the right places and during his walk I took a glimpse downwards and noticed that his jeans were tight in the right places too.

I checked my watch. Nine oh five. "You're on time," I noted.

He shrugged. "I've been known to be punctual." He nodded towards the door. "Care for some drinks?" he asked as he offered his arm out to me.

I hooked my arm through his shyly. "Of course." He held the door open for me as we entered the bar. I took in my surroundings slowly, noting the pianos and the men sitting at them and the woman they were currently serenading.

Edward cleared his throat to get my attention. I turned to see him and the hostess waiting to show us where our seat was. I smiled apologetically and turned to follow the woman to our seat.

As we made our way through the crowd, I felt Edward put his hand on the small of my back. My heart accelerated slightly.

We ordered drinks and fell into conversation easily. I learned that he was the middle child and that he had a brother and a sister. His parents were still together and the two most in love people he had ever seen in his life. He graduated college early in the top of his class and jumped right into medical school. He chose to be a surgeon because his father was a doctor and he wanted to feel like he could make a difference in the world.

It was normal first date talk that I usually was repulsed by…but for some reason I was honestly interested. And every new tidbit of information just made me want to pounce him even more.

We were on our third round of drinks when I brought up the piano bar. He laughed, taking a sip of his drink. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his smile was deliciously crooked. "I used to work here," he admitted.

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not." He waved his hand at the piano against the wall. "I used to play here my first year of college."

"I thought you went to school in New York?" I asked curiously. I brought my drink up to my lips and took a sip.

Edward's eyes followed the action and darkened slightly as I licked my lips. He brought his gaze up from my mouth to my eyes and smiled. "I transferred there after about a year and half. My first year was here at UW."

"Oh! I went to UW," I declared. So far I had been doing wonders with the word department tonight; Edward had to have been questioning the fact that I was a writer.

"Did you?" he inquired. His eyes were lined with emotions that I couldn't read right away. "Maybe I should have stuck it out for another year or so," he added. He rubbed the scruff on his jaw and asked thoughtfully, "How old are you, Bella?"

"Twenty-five." I notice him nod slightly and shift the ice in his drink. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-seven," he tipped the glass back and took an ice cube into his mouth and started chewing on it. A sign of sexual frustration? I know I was feeling it.

Around ten thirty my phone vibrated. I flipped it open after Edward excused himself to the restroom and saw a text from Rosalie.

_No 911 yet? Wow, that's a first B. -R_

I smiled, shut the phone and secured it back in my purse. Edward returned a moment later with a smile across his lips.

We chatted for another thirty minutes before our waitress came by and dropped off the check. I snatched it up before he could and was met with a slight pout and complaints.

"Bella, please."

"No! You said it last night that wherever we happened to _bump_ into each other again, I'd pay. No arguing." I slipped my credit card into the book and handed it back to the waitress.

Edward leaned back into his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, and bit his lip. He was watching me through his lashes as I signed the credit card slip and fumbled to put the card back into my wallet.

We walked out of the building and hesitated by the closest street corner. "Would you like me to walk you home?" he asked softly.

My smile faltered slightly. Home? No, I didn't want to go there. Not yet anyway.

"Or we could go back to my place," he added with a rush. His hands were deep in his front pockets and he was rocking on his heels. The image reminded me of a teenager nervous for his first date because that's exactly how I felt.

"Yes!" I said a little too enthusiastically. His eyes widened and he smiled brightly at me. "I'd love to," I added in a more appropriate voice.

"Great! It's not far from here." Edward grabbed my hand in his and laced our fingers together. We had some kind of conversation on the way to his apartment, but I couldn't remember a word of it. Instead, I was solely focused on the fact that his skin was touching mine and that I had to remind myself to breathe.

He unlocked the door and held it open for me to step inside. It was a large apartment with an updated kitchen and large furniture in the living and dining rooms. A huge flat screen television hung on the wall above the fire place. Typical guys.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked as he flipped on a light switch to the kitchen.

I followed him in, running my fingers along the granite counter tops. "Water would be wonderful."

He retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator and handed it to me with a smile. I unscrewed the top and took a swig while leaning against the counter. Edward crossed his ankles and leaned on the counter across from me. I licked my lips and set the bottle on the counter next to me. "Thanks, I needed that."

He nodded. I watch him shift his gaze from my eyes, to my lips, then farther below to my body. I felt a knot twist in my stomach as his eyes came up to mine again. One emotion was bright and brilliant in his eyes at the moment: lust.

Without saying anything, he pushed himself off the counter and came over to me. He placed his hands on either sides of my hips and leaned forward slowly, silently giving me time to push him away if this was too forward.

Like I would do a silly thing like that.

Instead I went forward and met his lips half way. I felt a spark of electricity ignite under my lips and moaned softly into his mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck and my hands tangled themselves up into his hair, trying to press his lips harder to mine. His hands came rested on my back, effectively pressing himself firmly against me. I moaned again when I felt his very eager and ready dick press into my leg.

Then his hands were traveling. They left my back and went down to my sides and even down my legs. He stopped on my thighs, reaching around to the back of them so he was right below my ass and in one swift movement he lifted me off the ground and put me on the counter. My legs spread apart, making my dress ride dangerously high on my thighs. Edward placed himself between my legs, putting one hand on the back of my neck and the other resting on my ass.

I'm not entirely sure how long we made out in the kitchen but I know that it wasn't long enough when he finally pulled away.

"Bella," he panted, resting his forehead against mine. "If you're going to keep kissing me like that and making those noises we're going to have to go to the bedroom," he smiled.

I tighten my fingers in his hair, earning a hiss from him. I brought my lips close to his ear and whispered in what I hope would come out seductively, "Promise?"

I felt him take in a quick breath before crushing his lips and body back to mine. He lifted me off the counter, wrapping both of his hands around his waist while I wrapped my legs around his.

We stumbled into the room and hadn't made it two feet from the door before Edward pushed my back up against the wall. His lips were velvety and smooth and I wanted them everywhere.

Eventually we found the bed. He laid on top of me, still kissing me fiercely, and currently trying to pull of his shirt without loosing contact with my skin. As soon as he sat up to tug off the fabric, I gasped silently at his chest.

There were no words to describe his body. Chiseled is close. Perfection is even closer. Close but no cigar.

He met my lips again and his hands worked down the zipper at the side of my dress. He helped me wiggle out of the cotton and his lips went to work at my skin, not leaving an inch of it free of kisses, nibbling or licking.

"Bella…" his voice was low and husky. I felt heat pool even more between my thighs. "We don't have to."

I grinned. "I know we don't. But we are," I announced, pulling his hips toward mine roughly with his belt.

A lazy smirk plastered across his face. At that moment there was no place I'd rather see his face than between my thighs.

The rest of the night was filled with moans and grunts, and the wonderful sound of skin slapping against skin.

Afterwards, we both were lying side by side on his bed gasping for breath. I glanced at the clock next to his bed: two thirty. I closed my eyes and smiled.

"That was amazing," he breathed against my skin. He planted a small trail of kisses up my neck and caught my lips with his. We made out again for a few minutes, although this time it was much tamer…sweet even.

He pulled the sheets over our sweaty bodies and wrapped an arm around my waist tightly before I fell asleep.

***

I woke up with a start in the morning. The first thing I realized was that I wasn't in my bed. The second was that I was in Edward's bed. The third was that I was in Edward's bed _alone._

I sat up, clutching the sheets to my chest tightly. I listened for a shower or even sounds from the living room or kitchen but all was quiet. I looked over at the clock: Seven twenty-five.

I tried looking around for a note or something that would say where he was, but nothing of the sort was found. The bastard just left me here?

Bella Swan does _not_ do the walk of shame, because in order to do it, you must have something to be shameful of. I was not shameful I just had amazing sex with a man I hardly know.

I was a little miffed though he didn't leave a note.

I slipped my dress back on and left the room. I shut his apartment door probably to hard but I didn't care. I made my way back to my apartment, stopping at the Starbucks to get Alice, Rose, and myself a pick me up.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called from the kitchen. I set the coffees down on the counter and kicked off my heels.

"BELLA!" Alice shot like a cannon from her room. "How was your date?"

"It was good," I said. I took a sip of the scalding hot beverage. I nodded up to the other two cups still on the counter.

"Good enough to bring us coffee in the morning? Someone got laid," Rosalie sang. She picked up her coffee and plopped down on a bar stool. She opened up the paper.

"Yes, someone did get laid." I sat down next to her. Alice watched me through narrow eyes. "What?"

"Were you safe?"

"Alice, you're my best friend not my mother."

"Isabella!"

"Yes, mom. I was safe." I put my head on Rose's shoulder and looked over the paper with her.

"Good article, Bells. I really like the part about prince charming and Mr. Right in the Hamptons," Rose complimented me.

"Really? I wrote that part thinking of you," I grinned at her. I looked at the top of page six from over her shoulder and saw my article, big and bold: **Sinful in Seattle** by Bella Swan.

I don't know who thought up the name Sinful in Seattle, but I had a feeling whoever did definitely ripped off the makers of Sleepless in Seattle.

"Bellaaaaa!" Alice whined. "Really? '_A's got this feeling that my single days are numbered.'_ Because they are."

"I'm glad that your forte is seeing into my love life."

"Don't bet against me, Bells. I saw that and then you get this date with this amazing doctor and you come home and you're all smiles. They're numbered. Trust me. So was he a McDreamy? Or was me more of a McSteamy?"

"It would be easier to believe you if I hadn't woken up alone and without a note or anything," I mumbled. "And both."

"He didn't leave anything?" Rose asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

"Nada."

"And both?" Rose smirked at me. "He was that good that he deserves the title of both McDreamy and McSteamy? Wow, why didn't I meet this dude first?"

Alice ignored us and put her hands on her hips. "He has some nerve! It sounded like he really liked you since he asked you out so quickly. Hmm," she tapped her temple and then shrugged. "You're better off. The guy who you'll end up will sweep you off your feet."

"I have enough experience falling down. I'd much rather have a guy catch me once in a while," I added dryly. "Remember our talk? Operation Mr. Right is on hiatus. Operation Mr. Right Now has commenced."

"Do you guys have plans tonight?" Alice asked, taking another sip of her coffee and effectively changing the subject. "Dates or anything?"

I shook my head and I heard a muffled "No" come from behind the Sports section from Rose.

Alice clapped her hands together excitedly. "Good! Because you do now."

"What are we doing?"

"Well my brother just moved back to Seattle, so my mom is throwing him a kind of welcome home celebration, if you will. There will be tons of food and tons of alcohol if you're up to drinking again," she added with a smirk.

"This is the one I've never met, right?" I asked, vaguely remembering her other older brother.

"Yeah, this is the one neither of you have met. Rose, you haven't met Emmett but you will tonight if you come."

Rose peaked from over her paper. "Why have you met one of them and I haven't?" She eyed me warily before looking at Alice.

"That year you went skiing with your parents over Thanksgiving? Bella had Thanksgiving over at my house and met him then," Alice retorted. She started to rinse out her coffee mug and place it in the dishwasher. When she was done, she turned to us expectantly. "So…is that a yes?"

"Sure."

"Why not?"

Alice squealed and I swear it felt like an ear drum popped. She smirked at both Rose and myself and I saw a glint of something flash in her eye before it disappeared. I knew that look; it meant my pixie of a best friend, the four foot warrior, was scheming.

If I hadn't been riding the post orgasm high I would have called her out on it. But for once I just let it go and took the paper that Rose was finished reading.

***

Alice's parents lived about thirty minutes away from us just outside the city. I had only been to their house one time before hand, and that was the Thanksgiving I had decided to pass on going to see Renee and her new husband, or Charlie and his new girlfriend.

"Alice! Bella! Rosalie!"

Esme came into view as she pulled her daughter into a tight hug. "Hey Mom!" Alice chirped. Esme smiled at me and Rose before pulling us both into an equally tight embrace. "Is he here yet?"

Esme seemed to know exactly who she was talking about because she shook her head. "No dear, he's not. He and Emmett are running late—as usual. You girls must be starving! Get something to eat and drink!"

Rose and I sipped on martinis and nibbled on finger sandwiches for about fifteen minutes while talking to an attractive older man and Carlise. And then there was a scream.

Alice.

I whipped my head around, trying to find the source of her cry when I saw her tackle someone in the door way. Her arms wound around a mans neck while his wrapped around her waist and picked her off the floor. Despite the fact that he spun her around twice I hadn't been able to see his face.

The one thing I could tell was that he was tall. Tall is good.

I noticed Emmett right away, because, well it was hard not to. The man was huge. He towered over most men at 6'3" and his body was made of pure muscle. A man with blonde shaggy hair stood next to Emmett with a lazy grin on his face.

"There're my boys," I heard Carlise say proudly.

Finally the mystery man let Alice down and she was pulled into a hug by Emmett, although it wasn't as enthusiastic, and shook hands with the blonde man at his side.

Her brother hadn't turned around since putting her down; his eyes seemed to be trained on the blonde man and Alice. All I could see was a lean body and a mess of copper hair that looked extremely familiar…

No.

"EDWARD!"

I felt my stomach drop. Rose noticed my suddenly green face and clutched onto my hand tightly. No. No no no no no!

It couldn't be. It was impossible.

McDreamy could not be Alice's brother. But there he stood in all his beautiful glory, just absolutely glowing like he had just gotten laid the night before and I couldn't help being angry at myself for not making the connection. Damnit, Bella. Think before you act.

He pulled Esme into a hug. His eyes lifted from hers and somehow met mine out of all the eyes in the room. I felt blush creep up on my cheeks. His eyes widened and he froze mid hug. Esme seemed to sense this and pulled back from him and looked into his eyes.

I didn't break eye contact with him. His hair was in disarray, his clothes casual like the night before, and another set of emotions pass through his green eyes. He forced a smile to Esme, eventually breaking the eye contact but regained it a few seconds later.

A smug smirk crept across his face as he watched me, occasionally looking away to say hello or accept a "Welcome home!" or a "It's so good to have you back!" My guess was that he was reliving the images of last night in his mind; as soon as the memories came, I felt a small smile tug at my lips as well.

Before I had a chance to run away, Alice was clutching tightly to Edward's hand and dragging him over to where Rose and I stood. I held on to my martini tightly and forced a carefree smile.

They stopped right in front of us, Alice beaming up at her brother while he smiled brilliantly at us and ran a hand through his hair. "Edward, this is Rose and Bella. Guys, this is my brother, Edward."

Your mouth waters, stretched out on my bed  
Your fingers are trembling  
And your heart is heavy and red  
Your head is bent back, your back is arched  
My hand is under there holding you up  
I'll hold you up and drive you all night  
I'll hold you up and drive you, baby,

till you feel the daylight

**-Melissa Ferrick "Drive"**

**Super long chapter. I promise they all are not going to be twenty pages…I just had a lot to say in this one. And it's an obvious ending but you know you love it…the smut will come. Be patient, young grasshopper. **

**And the peanut gallery says… **


	2. Chapter 2

**You are all amazing. Really, you are. This is the second installment… Enjoy :)**

**I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will.**

"The more the temptation the greater the sin."

**BPOV**

_They stopped right in front of us, Alice beaming up at her brother while he smiled brilliantly at us and ran a hand through his hair. "Edward, this is Rose and Bella. Guys, this is my brother, Edward."_

Rosalie struck on her winning smile and extended her hand towards him. "Rosalie Hale," she crooned. "It's nice to finally meet one of Alice's brothers."

"Edward Cullen," he stated and took her hand in his. "Don't tell me you've never met that brute of a man, Emmett?" He glanced down at Alice who was vigorously shaking her head. "Well then, you're in for a real treat." His gaze landed on me. I felt my cheek redden slightly as his eyes traveled from my gaze down to my body and back up. The corner of his lips tugged into a crooked smile.

If there was ever a time to call on my inner-Diva with confidence for miles, it was now. I smiled brightly and extended my hand. "Bella Swan."

He arched one perfect eyebrow at me before taking my hand. In a flash, I felt the spark from our skin contact and nearly jumped out of my skin. It seemed so much more potent now that he was staring at me like that. "Swan?" he implored.

"Yes, Swan." I retracted my hand and swept my hair off my left shoulder. Edward's eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of my skin. "It's nice to meet Alice's other brother. She talks very highly of you," I added.

Edward laughed and reached down to muss up Alice's hair. Rose and I watched in awe as she didn't freak out on him like she would have us; instead, she beamed up at him. "That's reassuring. For a moment there I was afraid she was going to bad mouth me to her friends." His eyes met mine and I saw the green grow a shade darker. "I'm glad that isn't the case."

"Of course not! She talks about nothing else but how wonderful of a doctor you are!" Rose exclaimed. She tossed a confused look at me and Edward, noticing that we were examining each other silently.

Alice was oblivious for once.

"Edward is an amazing surgeon. He's about to finish up his residency and soon he'll be working without supervision! You'll be the only surgeon I'd ever trust. He just transferred to…Shit, I just had it." Alice ran a hand through her hair trying to straighten it out.

"Virginia Mason?" I asked with a smirk.

"That's it! How'd you know?" Alice smiled a huge smile at me. Again, she was so oblivious.

"Lucky guess."

"Bella, babe, could you come with me to get another drink? I'm on empty," Rose insisted, hooking her arm in the crook of my elbow and tugging on it. "Excuse us for a moment. Alice would you like another?" Alice nodded. "Edward, can we get you anything?"

He rubbed his jaw slightly and stared into my eyes. "Scotch, neat. Thank you, Rosalie."

"We'll be right back," Rose said as she pulled me away. I downed the rest of my martini once we were facing the opposite direction. Rose snuck a glance behind us noting that Edward and Alice were wrapped up in their own conversation already.

We got to the bar and she turned to me, placing both of her hands on my shoulders and looking me square in the eye. "Bella? What the fuck was that?"

I blinked. "What was what?"

She scoffed at me. "Don't play dumb with me." She turned to the bartender. "Three dirty gin martinis and a scotch neat."

"Extra olives on one of the martinis, please," I added. The man nodded to me and went to making our drinks.

I set my glass on the end of the bar and picked up a strand of my hair examining the split ends. Rose tapped her fingernails impatiently against the bar top, waiting for me to spill the beans. "What, Rose?"

"You know him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Isabella Marie Swan, don't start with me. How do you know him?" She was watching my face intently. Instead of meeting her gaze, I decided to grab on of the olives out of the new martini in front of us and eat it. Suddenly her fingers seized their tapping and her jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God."

I held the toothpick between my lips and looked at her. "What?"

"Edward is McDreamy, isn't he? He's the hot doctor you had a date with last night, who gave you the best sex of your life, and left you alone this morning."

I popped another olive in my mouth. "Who's McDreamy?"

Rose laughed. "Oh my god! He's Alice's brother! What are the chances…" She took a sip from her martini. "He's really cute, Bells. Good job."

I turned away from her shaking my head. "He's an ass."

She shoved Edward's scotch in my free hand. "Most attractive men are. You get one that has a good living and is good at sex and there's not hope. Men are asses, Bells. You know this."

"I don't date asses."

"Who said you had to date him?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at me. "If he's that god like in bed, just have sex with him. You're the one who said you didn't want anything serious now."

"Touché Hale." I raised my martini glass at her before we rejoined Alice and Edward.

The both looked up as we neared them and a small grin spread across Edward's face. I handed him his scotch and as he reached for it he purposely brushed his fingers against mine.

"Rose! Let me go introduce you to Emmett!" Alice grabbed Rosalie's hand and started to drag her toward the door. "Excuse us!"

Edward let out a ringing laugh. I smiled in return and started to trace my finger along the rim of my glass. Now that we were alone it felt awkward and like we were seventeen again.

He swirled the scotch around in his glass. "Swan, eh?"

I nodded. "Cullen?"

He nodded and grinned. "That's the one." He ran a hand through his hair before leaning into my ear and whispered, "Last night was..."

I snorted, taking him off guard. His brow was furrowed in confusion and I just waved my hand at him. "It must have been pretty fantastic. I wake up alone? I must have really out done myself."

Edward broke my gaze and looked down at the floor. "Oh, that…" He kicked at the floor with his shoes. "I apologize for not waking you up."

"It's totally fine. You don't owe anything to me." I shrugged to emphasize my point and finished my drink.

"Bella," he breathed into my hair. I shivered and felt goose bumps form along my shoulder. He put his hand on the small of my back. "Let's continue this conversation outside, shall we?"

"Whatever you say, boss."

He cringed slightly, but pushed us through the crowd of people all while keeping his hand on my back. He opened the door to the porch and held it open for me so I could step out. I went straight for the railing and leaned my elbows against it, setting my drink down next to me.

I heard him shut the door and settle next to me. His shoulder brushed against mine as he swirled his scotch. "Bella…last night—"

"Last night was great and all, Edward, but let's look at it for what it was. Two people who are immensely attracted to each other and went out so they could have sex. Let's leave it at that." I picked up my drink and started playing with the glass.

He turned so his front was facing me. "Do you think I only asked you out yesterday so I could fuck you?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

He set his glass down and put his hands on my shoulders so I would face him. "Bella, that's not why I asked you out."

"That might be true, but how do you know I didn't just say yes so I would get laid?"

His grin faltered slightly but he regained it. "I don't." He shrugged, obviously trying to annoy me with my own expressions and it was working. "But _I_ asked _you_ out because I liked you. If I wanted to get laid I could have called any girl in my phone, but instead I chose a girl who I didn't know when I wasn't even guaranteed a good night kiss because I liked her." He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Am I really that horrible you just want to forget it?"

"No!" I bit my lip trying to prevent word vomit. "Look, the sex was great—and you're great too—it's just with you being Alice's brother it complicates things."

"You being her best friend complicates them as well, you know."

"My point exactly! It'd be easier if we were just friends," I stated simply.

"Perhaps," he agreed. He placed his hand on my hip and started to push me back into the wall.

"What the—"

He placed a finger over my lips and shook his head. "Shh…" He ran his nose along my jaw from my chin to my ear and whispered huskily, "However, I think it would be best if we weren't friends." He pressed his lips into the tender spot on my neck right below my ear and sucked softly. A small gasp and moan escaped my lips and my fists tightened at my side. "You taste amazing, Bella…" he moaned against my skin.

"Edward!"

"Mmm?" He smiled against my neck and continued to drag his lips down to my shoulder. He planted a wet kiss at the conjunction of my neck and then bit down softly. A strangled moan left my throat. My breathing was heavy already and I could already feel wetness pool between my thighs.

"Edward."

He pulled back to look me in the eye, smirking. I felt anger rise up into my chest and at the moment all I wanted to do was punch him.

So I did. Very squarely in the gut.

"What the _fuck_," he gasped, leaning over slightly and grasping his stomach. He was glaring at me through lust lidded eyes. "What was that for?"

"I just said I wanted to be friends, and you said you didn't want to be and attacked me. Sound familiar?" I sneered at him.

"I didn't hear any protest. Actually I only heard moans of encouragement," he countered. His lips were starting to tug up in one corner slightly.

"That was the right hook, Einstein. You didn't appear to be this thick headed last night." I picked up my glass of the railing and started to make my way for the door. He stopped me by grasping my wrist tightly in his hand.

"Bella, wait," Edward pleaded. His eyes were wide and full of some unknown emotion. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a strangled sigh. "Let's start over, shall we? We seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot."

"And now the foot seems to be stuck in your mouth."

He grinned widely at me and reached out his hand. "My name is Edward Cullen. Brother to Alice and Emmett Cullen, son of Carlise and Esme Cullen. I'm a surgeon at Virginia Mason in my last year of residency. I enjoy playing the piano and guitar—"

"Let me guess, long walks on the beach as well?" I snapped.

"Bella," he whined.

I sighed in defeat and grasped his hand in mine. "I'm Bella Swan. Daughter of Charlie Swan and Renee Bedford with no siblings. I've been writing for the _Seattle Observer_ for two years this past July. I enjoy long walks on the beach," I added with a laugh.

"What else?" he inquired.

I shrugged. "I like to cook, too. I always had to cook for Charlie during high school and when I went off to college I started to cook for Alice and Rose."

We were still holding each other's hands. It was funny I hadn't noticed because suddenly my hand was tingling from the skin contact. He dropped his hand immediately and flexed his fingers a few times at his side before making eye contact. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"I endured it," I stated dryly. I arched an eyebrow at him. "Friends?"

"Friends…" he trailed off, as if testing out how the word sounded. He furrowed his brow slightly and nodded. "I suppose so. If you've kept up with Alice for all these years then I guess you can keep up with me."

"Don't question my tolerance with the pixie. There have been many times Rose and I plotted to slip muscle relaxers into her drinks."

"And how did that work out for you?"

"It must have been laced with aderol." I leaned on the railing of the porch to admire the well manicured garden below.

Edward let out a ringing laugh. "That sounds about right," he said still laughing. He picked up his empty scotch glass and offered his arm much like the night before. "Shall we return to the party, Bella Swan?"

I didn't object to his arm; I placed my hand lightly at the crook of his elbow and allowed him to lead me back toward the door. I bit my lip lightly out of habit and I felt him lean his head toward mine and whisper into my ear, "I said we'd be friends, Bella. But if you keep biting that lip like that I can't promise that I'll be able to continue my gentlemanly actions and not bite it for you."

Blood rushed from my brain to between my thighs.

Right on cue, two older men who I recognized from talking to Carlise earlier came through the doorway and smiled when they saw Edward.

"Fuck," I heard Edward mutter. He forced an award winning smile on his face that would make actors jealous.

"Edward, son! How are you tonight?"

He chuckled softly. "Wonderful, thank you. I was just showing Alice's friend Bella Mom's garden." He pulled his arm closer to his body, trying to trap my hand with his body so I wouldn't leave.

I peered down at my martini glass. "What do you know gentlemen? My glass is empty. Excuse me for a moment while I get another," I announced, pulling my hand from Edward's side.

I walked swiftly to the door and shut it behind me before I could hear Edward's protest. I glanced through the glass in the doorway and noticed was glaring at me from over one of the men's oblivious shoulders. He mouthed "_Thanks a lot"_ angrily at me.

I smiled and shrugged, pointing to me glass. "_Thirst deprivation," _I mouthed back. He just scowled at me and turned to engage the older men in conversation. My hand came up to rest on my breast bone as I tried to calm down my heart. I needed another drink.

I wandered my way back to the bar slowly, taking in all the current guests. Esme and Carlise were talking quietly with another older couple, some of the men I chatted to earlier were busy tattering away about work or something rather.

I ordered another martini and found Alice and Rosalie standing very close to Emmett and his blonde friend. I made my way over to them and quietly slipped my arm around Alice's shoulder.

She looked up at me surprised. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you! Were you with Edward?"

I paused long enough to get a curious look from Rosalie. "I went out for some fresh air and ran into Edward out there. I think he's talking to a couple of older men out there."

"That's Edward. Running away from the party to be by himself." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into the blonde man slightly. I cleared my throat and tossed a nod at him. "Oh! Sorry, I'm so out of it. Bella, this is Jasper. Jasper, Bella," she squeaked.

I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you Jasper."

He nodded. "Like wise, Bella." I noticed right away he had a slight southern draw to his dialect.

I tried to keep up with the conversation that was traveling among the four of them but it was terribly difficult when I couldn't forget the feeling of Edward pressed up against me. I should have taken him up on his offer on the hiding places; the ache between my thighs was unbearable.

"There you are! I was about to send out a search party for you, dude." Emmett slapped his hand against Edward's shoulder as he approached us.

Edward laughed nervously and shrugged. "I can't help that I'm in such high demand these days." His eyes flickered to mine and small smile crept on his lips.

"So what do you do, Bella?" Jasper asked me, taking a sip of his drink.

I stuck an olive with the toothpick in my glass. "I write for the _Seattle Observer_," I answered automatically.

"What kind of column do you write, Bella?" Edward asked, his eyes glinting. "I'd like to read it some time."

I felt my cheeks redden slightly. "Oh, you wouldn't want to read it—it's just a silly article that comes out on page six in the Sunday paper."

Alice gasped at me. "Bella! Stop being so modest. Your column gives hope for single women in Seattle." She turned to Edward with a smile on her face and her eyes slightly lidded from the alcohol. "Bella here is the author of _Sinful in Seattle_, Seattle's very own sex column."

I stared down at my drink. Pixie, four foot warrior, the devil…all nicknames that flashed in my mind for Alice at that moment.

I heard Edward erupt into laughter. I snapped my head up to glare at him. "What's so funny about that?"

"Do you…" he gasped for breath. "Do you actually write about the sex you have?" He arched an eyebrow at me with curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

"No, I write about my dates and life, and give out any advice that I can," I answered coolly. I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger and looked around the room lazily. "Don't knock my job," I protested.

He held up his hands in defeat. "Sorry I ever doubted you. It's just…I don't know. I guess I didn't expect for you write about that. I've never met a sex columnist before."

"Do you feel any different?"

"Any different now that my sex columnist virginity has been taken away?"

My throat was too dry to speak, which was interesting because I had been drinking all night, so I just nodded slightly.

He shrugged. "Not yet, but I have a sneaky feeling I might later on." His eyes roamed over my dress unabashedly before turning them toward Emmett. "Did you see the game this afternoon?"

Be still my heart.

Okay, so obviously his idea of friends was not the same as mine. Even if I was dying to check out his ass whenever he turned around, I refrained. Why? Because I know what being a friend means; you don't undress them with your eyes with others around.

We could work on that. Something told me that Edward could use a good dose of reality shoved his way pretty soon.

I groaned inwardly and tossed back my drink. Somehow, through out the night Rosalie kept my alcohol supply running on full; she always seemed to appear with another martini for me whenever I had just run out. Sneaky little devil.

By eleven thirty I was pretty smashed. Rose had limited herself to two martinis while Alice and I over indulged in her parents' open bar. We were slurring slightly, hiccupping, and laughing at absolutely nothing at all. At some point in the night I had taken off my shoes because a drunk Bella walking around in death traps would either send me or someone else to the ER tonight.

Esme's house started to clear out and Rose announced she had to go soon otherwise she wouldn't be up in time for work. Ah, one of the joys of working from home.

I walked over to the door and tried to slip my shoes on but I seemed to be having a hard time. I felt a warm hand grasp my hip and my hand at the same time to steady me. I glanced up and saw Edward grinning at me. "Thanks," I muttered.

"Anytime," he answered the smile still in place. I slipped my shoes on successfully and he released my hip but not my hand. "Let me help you out to the car."

I nodded, mainly because the front porch stairs were pretty tricky and I probably wouldn't make it down by myself.

I gave both Esme and Carlise a hug and thanked them for inviting us over to their house. They both greeted me with smiles and "Bella, you're part of this family. You're always welcome."

Edward wrapped his arm loosely around my waist and helped me down the stairs. I made it all the way to the last step when I think the heel got stuck in a crack in the cement. I fell forward slightly, and Edward wrapped his other arm around me and clutched me tightly to his chest. "Whoa there," he chuckled. "You okay?"

I nodded, knowing if I opened my mouth gibberish would come out. All I could see was green and smell was his spicy masculine scent. Cologne? No…maybe soap? Hmm, maybe.

I was practically being carried over to Rose's BMW. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Jasper and Alice were in a similar position to Edward and mine, and that Rosalie and Emmett were standing in the door way watching with amused expressions on their faces.

Damn those sober ones.

Edward leaned me against the passenger door but didn't let go of my waist. He kept both of the wrapped tightly around me, pressing me against him.

I laid my hands on his chest, trying to fight off the flash backs of his naked torso the night before. _Right there under your fingertips, Bells. Touch it. _I shook my head probably too hard because I heard a ringing in my ear.

_Friends, friends, friends, friends. _Friends have boundaries, Bella. Set them.

"I think I'm starting to see why you and Alice are such good friends," Edward stated with a chuckle.

"How so?" I slurred, wiggling out of his grip. I slid down the car a little, effectively putting an arms length between us. It was easier to think coherent thoughts when I couldn't feel hot breath on my neck.

His grin didn't falter. "It takes a special someone to handle her when she's drunk like that," he nodded in the direction of where Jasper was throwing Alice over his shoulder caveman style despite her squealing protests. "She seems to be very taken with Jasper," he noted.

"He's cute," I said appreciatively.

I saw him shrug off something he was thinking and gently lifted my chin with a finger so I could look into his eyes. "So, _friend,_" he started, emphasizing the word friend, "can I call you sometime? You know, to hang out or something?"

I smiled at him and looked through my lashes. "You still have my number, right?" He nodded. "And you still know how to use a phone?" His lips tugged up in one corner into a crooked grin as he nodded again. "Then call away."

I bit my lip and turned to open the passenger door to the convertible when I felt a warm hand on my bare shoulder. I glanced to see Edward starring at me, his eyes dark and a devilish smirk on his lips. "Bella…remember what I said about that lip."

I nodded and refrained from rolling my eyes. He took my hand in his one last time and pressed his lips to the back of it. "Maybe I'll bump into you sometime soon, Miss Swan," he stated, his voice dangerously low.

My heart accelerated again, knowing from experience with men that a voice that low only meant one thing: they were horny. And god, I was getting uncomfortable with the tension building in my stomach.

Being friends with Edward Cullen would be the death of me.

The ride back to the apartment was quiet as Rose and I listened to whatever was on late night radio. Alice had completely passed out in the back seat, leaving us to somehow get her up to the room when we pulled into the parking garage.

"You wake her up," Rose hissed at me.

"No way! Have you seen the height of her heel? I don't have a death sentence, thank you very much."

"Okay, but I'm the sober one. Who would drive me to the hospital if she lunged out at me?"

I rolled my eyes at her, reaching behind my seat to pull the lever for it slide forward. "That's why they invented ambulances. Alice…wake up. We're home."

Alice blinked a few times before growling at me and snuggling farther into the backseat.

"Since when does she growl?" I asked Rose. She shrugged at me and tugged on Alice's hand.

"Al, wake up. There's a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps waiting for you on your bed."

Alice's eyes shot open so fast I swear if I hadn't been watching her so closely I would have missed it. "I'm up!" She pulled herself from the car and started to skip the way to the elevator.

Rose smirked at me and I shook my head. "That is terrifying."

The three of us managed to get our tired asses up into our apartment without any problems. Alice waltzed over to her room, only to return a moment later with her chest puffed out. "Rosalie Hale, you said there were Manolo Blahniks' waiting for me on my bed."

"Check your closet. I didn't say they weren't a pair you already owned."

Alice laughed and shook her finger at Rose. "It's a good thing I'm tired and drunk, Rose. Otherwise you'd be in trouble." She turned on her heel and returned to her room, shutting the door behind her.

"So," Rose started, tossing the cap of a water bottle in her hand.

"So what?"

"So Edward."

I glanced back at Alice's closed door. "What about him?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "He seems nice," she said coolly.

"I guess."

"Just I guess? No feeling each other up in the pantry or getting dirty on the porch outside? You were out there for quite a while, Bells."

"Nope," I answered, emphasizing the P. I took a water bottle out of the refrigerator and took a swig after I hoisted myself on the counter.

"Mhmm," Rose hummed, seating herself next to me. "He looked like he wanted to eat you. It was pretty hot. I can totally see the McSteamy thing."

I punched her shoulder with mine. "We're friends, Rose. I'm sure he sees it as a loose use of the word, but I'll set him straight. He's not getting into my pants again."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "Ever?" I nodded enthusiastically, making her giggle. "Oh, I almost forgot! Did he mention why he left this morning?"

"Nope," I said again. "The only thing he mentioned was that he was sorry he didn't wake me." I shrugged. "Like I said, we're just friends now so it doesn't matter."

"With benefits, maybe." I waved her off and took another sip of my water. "Bella, men like Edward don't know how to be friends with women. They only know how to think with their penis."

"Well then he's in for a real treat with me, isn't he?" I grinned at her.

She snorted, nodding her head in agreement. "See you in the morning."

After Rose had shut the door to her room, I lifted myself off the counter and started to drag my feet over to my bed. My bed was still made from two days earlier and the shoes I wore Friday night were still on the floor next to the wall right where I left them.

I slipped off my dress and into some sweat pants and a tank top before literally falling into my warm bed and letting a martini induced slumber take over me.

***

_You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that gets me high  
What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold_

My hand reached out from the warmth of my sheets to search for my phone. I wrapped my fingers around it while it vibrated and sang Crossfade to me. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the caller ID. _Renee._

Sighing, I opened the phone and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?" I croaked.

"Bella! How are you sweetie? You haven't responded to any of my emails so I thought I'd give you a quick call…" I heard a rustle of fabric on her end. I yawned and glanced at the clock.

_Eight twenty-six._

People needed to stop waking me up before ten. I am _not_ a morning person.

"Sorry, Mom. I've been busy," I lied. Honestly I haven't been busy; I've just been avoiding replying her latest email. Renee liked to meddle with my love life; she had just met the "perfect" boy for me.

"It's okay sweetie, I know you're busy. That's why I called you so early so I could talk to you." I suppressed a groan. I sat up in my bed and ran a hand through my hair.

"So what's up?" I asked, hoping she would avoid the topic I knew was on the tip of her tongue.

"Can't a mother just call her daughter every once in a while?" she huffed. I rolled my eyes, imaging the look on her face at that moment.

"Yeah of course Mom. I was just wondering if there was anything specifically you wanted to talk about."

"Well now that you mention it…" she trailed off. "One of my friends has a son who is your age and I met him, Bells, he is the cutest thing! You'll love him. He's an accountant."

"An accountant? Meaning he counts money for a living?" I quaked. "No way, Mom. Even if he is the cutest thing, he probably has the same amount of personality as a cardboard box. I'll pass."

"Bella—"

"You read my column, Mom. You know I have _no_ problem meeting men."

She paused, which worried me. "Yes I know you meet _plenty _of men. But you haven't met any quality men since Jake—"

"Mom we broke up less than a year ago."

"And you're not getting any younger! Obviously if these men aren't sticking around for more than a few dates and late night romps—"

"RENEE!"

"Oh Bella, please," she sighed into the phone. "Obviously Seattle men are more quantity than quality. In Arizona there are plenty of great guys."

"I don't live in Arizona, Mother."

"People do the long distance thing all the time, now days."

I sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Mom, as nice as it is that you're so concerned, I'm actually not looking for anything serious."

"I'm not saying you have to marry someone. I know how you must feel about marriage now," she added softly. I bit my lip and pinched the bridge of my nose. "All I'm saying is change the type of man you're after."

"Okay Mom, I'll give it a try." Just get off the phone before you combust, Bella.

"Really? That's the spirit, honey."

"Uh-huh. Well I've got to go, Mom. I need to start drafting my article and Alice wants me to make her and Rose breakfast."

"Okay sweetheart. I love you! Be safe!"

"Love you too." _Click_. I dropped the phone on the bed, turned my head into my pillow and screamed.

"Bella!" Alice came running into my room with the steak knife in her hands. "What's wrong?"

"Renee wants to rule my love life," I mumbled into my pillow.

"Oh," Alice said, lowering the knife. "I thought it was serious." She sat down on my bed and rubbed my back. "Next time you scream it better be because someone is in here killing you or you're on fire, got it?"

I laughed. "Of course." I turned around to face her. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I've felt better, but I have a feeling I'll feel magnificent after a batch of your pancakes," she finished sending a wink at me.

"Whatever you say."

A batch of blueberry pancakes later, I was feeling considerably better. I had two cups of coffee streaming through my veins, pancakes and eggs in my stomach, and music filling my ears.

I was ready to write.

Or at least I thought I was. I had so much running through my mind that it was making my head feel fuzzy and heavy. I wanted to type them out, but as soon as I opened a new document on my computer, my fingers froze over the keyboard.

I tried changing the music I was listening to and even got another cup of coffee but nothing seemed to be working. I closed my laptop in defeat and headed to the living room.

Alice looked up from her magazine. "The hermit decides to leave its cage," she noted.

"Very funny. What are you up to?" I plopped down next to her on the couch.

"Just doing a bit of reading," she answered, glancing at her phone.

I flicked on the television and started to surf through the channels. I noticed every few minute Alice would glance at her phone expectantly. "Are you expecting a call?"

She bit her lip. "What did you think of Jasper?"

"The blonde guy last night?" I asked and she nodded her head enthusiastically. "He was cute. I didn't get to talk to him much, but he seems nice." I paused to study her facial expression. "Why?"

"He asked for my number!" she squealed. She dropped the magazine and held my hands tightly in hers. "Right after he was acting all caveman and threw me over his shoulder he set me down near the car and asked if it was acceptable for him to ask for my number."

"I thought you were one for playing hard to get."

"Not when you're talking with your soul mate, Bella. There were fireworks when I saw him. The man is perfection in human form. He's an engineer so he's brilliant, he's so sensitive and he works out at Emmett's gym _everyday._" She swayed slightly in her seat and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Why don't we wait until he calls you first before you throw around words like _soul mate_, okay?"

She nodded. "I have a feeling he'll be calling soon—" she was cut off by a pulsing vibration from her hip. She grinned wickedly at me, before tapping her temple and rushing off to her room. "Hello?" she answered. She turned around and threw an exaggerated wink at me. "Oh hi, Jazz…"

I stayed on the couch for a few minutes thinking over what Alice had said. All the talk of fireworks and soul mates had done nothing but made my head feel foggier. I rubbed my temples in slow circles trying to will the headache away that was creeping up on me.

How could she be so sure? It was so unlike Alice to jump into a guy this early; she's not one to hold back but she usually makes sure the dude is worth the fall first. Jasper had made her throw every rule she had made over her twenty-five years out the window in less than twenty four hours. What for? Lust? Love? _Fireworks_, Alice had said.

I walked back into my room, opened up my laptop and resumed my position from earlier. Instead of freezing up, my fingers started tapping away at the keyboard, spilling all my thoughts on fireworks and soul mates.

Love at first sight? Lust at first sight sounds more accurate to me. But what did I know? I was just the best friend who was typing away, thinking of explosions, sparks, and, every once in a while, green eyes.

And it's everything and nothing  
That I thought it would be  
And it's nothing and everything  
That I thought it would be

I need desire, to feel alive  
I want a fire to burn me up inside  
So I'm calling angels help me to tonight  
Tonight…

**-****The Pierces "Tonight"  
**

**Sooo it's not quite as long as the first chapter but that was really the only place I could stop it otherwise it would turn into chapter 3...sorry! And it isn't revealed as to why Edward left Bella in the morning…yet. Be patient, it's going to come soon…along with other things ;) I've already started on chapter 3 so expect an update by this weekend hopefully! **

**Review and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

You all are utterly amazing. Thank you for all the reviews and the input :) ENJOY!

I don't own Twilight, or it's characters. All I do is make them do crazy, silly, sexual things in my story.

"Speak of the devil and he doth appear."

**Bella**

_We all know we see it all the times in the movies where two strangers catch each other's eyes and share one long stare at one another before claiming to have fallen deeply and madly in love. That's Hollywood; this is not. Here the ending is slightly different: Instead of a happily ever after you get unhappily never after with divorce papers, custody battles, and your so called prince charming has a beer belly and a bald spot. _

_My question is this: does love at first sight really exist? Or is it really just lust at first drool?_

_I'm not sold on the theory. It's one of those things that is so pretty written down on paper but so much more complicated in real life. I believe falling in love is process, not an event._

_Fireworks, light bulbs, sparks, and explosions are all examples of what people describe they feel when they fall at first sight. You want me to feel like there are fireworks going off right in front of me and I have sparks barking at my heels? I'll pass on that; it sounds like the beginning of a migraine and a fire hazard. _

_I'd like to pass off all these feelings that people claim as love as just plain lust; it's all human chemistry. I don't believe that you could love someone in an instant for who they are, for all the good and bad things that they've done in their life when you don't even know what they are yet._

_As strongly as I feel about this subject, I can't help being slightly scared of these so called fireworks. A has always been one for never letting the man have the upper hand in the game, yet with J Suave she has thrown her entire dating manual out the window. She claims that she can't believe she ever wasted time on anyone else in her life. Things like that scare me, because I've never had an attraction to someone that great, including Wolverine._

_Love and lust get confused quite often. They seem to be opposites, very similar of fire and ice, the two things that are designed to destroy each other. I've yet to see a relationship that has an equal amount of the two and it makes me wonder if it's even possible to be attracted to someone who you know every flaw of. Can the two things really coexist without destruction of the relationship? _

_Ponder this for a moment today. In the meantime, I'm going to stick to my wits about love at first sight. But nothing is ever set in stone; maybe I just need someone to make a believer out of me._

_-Bella Swan_

_**Sinful in Seattle**_

***

"Let's go out tonight."

Alice stopped her mission of rummaging through the refrigerator to turn to me with shock registered on her face. "Excuse me?"

I hopped up on the bar stool and glanced over at yesterday's paper that was open to my article. "Let's go out," I repeated.

Alice arched an eyebrow at me before cocking her hips to one side. "Wait a second…you're saying you actually want to go out...like in public…without Rosalie or me forcing you."

I nodded, picking up a stray pen and twirling it between my fingers.

"What brought this on?" she asked, resuming her task of looking through the fridge.

I shrugged. "We didn't really go out this weekend so I'm in need of a good time."

"Uh huh."

_"_Uh huh," I mimicked her. I twirled the pen between my fingers more while I watched her. "What's _uh huh _mean?"

"Nothing." Alice put her hands on her hips and sighed dramatically. "We're out of food. Do you think you could get groceries sometime today? Rosalie won't be back until late and I'm meeting a client in an hour."

"Yeah, sure. I have to go to the gym anyway." I slid off the stool and walked back into my room to change.

It had been a week since I had gone to Esme and Carlises' house, since I indulged in alcohol, and since I'd seen Edward. That wouldn't normally be such a bad situation if I could get the guy out of my head; every time I see the color green I suddenly thought of him, every time I saw someone with reddish brown hair I thought of him, and every time I saw a doctor show on the television I thought of him.

It was incredibly annoying.

So I found that busying myself with work that I usually put off until last minute was suddenly my temporary relief from this Edward-induced trance I was currently in.

Rose had laughed at me when I told her. "You should just have sex with him again. Honestly, Bells, imagine having orgasms like that every few days. Your inner bitch would shrivel up and die." She would snicker whenever she saw me in a bad mood or whenever I was frustrated and she would only add fuel to the fire by humming "Love Potion No. 9". Rose continuously reminded me throughout the week that I am a complete idiot that could be riding the orgasm cloud nine but instead I tossed it aside so I can have another _friend._

Screw Rosalie. It was about more than riding cloud nine. I had my reasoning.

Okay, so there are a few reasons I didn't want to pursue Edward.

Number one, he was Alice's brother. Now that may not sound so horrible at first, but I can only imagine the sticky situation it would leave us in if the fling ever ended badly. I would never want Alice to feel like she had to choose sides over something so silly. And besides, I wouldn't be able to dish to her about the sex or the kissing, because I wouldn't want to hear it if it was my brother.

Number two; he gave me the best sex of my life. Not that I would tell him that, but if we were to hook up regularly, we would get accustomed to the way we made each other feel. Meaning I would get extremely spoiled. Also meaning that whenever the fling were to end and I'd go on to another sex partner, I'd be completely disappointed. Although I can remember what the one time with him was amazing, the details are completely fuzzy because of the alcohol, so I can pretend that he fumbled his fingers a lot and wasn't as perfect as he really was.

Number three; the most important one of all: Edward scares the _shit_ out of me. Not in a lurking in the shadows or he comes off as a total weirdo kind of scary, but in a 'Whoa…how is he real?' kind of scary. His smile makes my heart accelerate. Feeling his eyes on my puts a lump in my throat. Talking to him I stutter and have the worst case of word vomit I've ever experienced and worst of all when he touches me, even in the most casual embrace, my skin bursts into flame. And what makes it completely worse was the fact that when he speaks, something actually intelligent leaves his lips. Never in my twenty-five years have I ever felt like I would self combust from being around someone.

I can't deny that I had an immense attraction to him, and by his actions a week ago I could safely say the same about him. And there was a part of my brain, the emotional part, telling me to throw all reasoning out the window and jump on the man. The logical part of my brain just wouldn't have that so I have been having an inward battle with myself for the past week.

Logical won with this reasoning: _You have your reasoning now to just be friends. It can escalate from there._

I pulled my iPod from my night stand, slipped on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed back toward the living room. I could hear Alice moving around in her room trying to get ready for whatever client she was meeting and singing some song that was on the radio.

I plucked the grocery list from the fridge door and pulled the jar on top of it toward me so I could reach the cash. Rosalie, Alice, and I have a rule about grocery shopping. We all add whatever we want to the list and every week we each throw in as much extra cash as we can to go buy them. Whenever we run out of food someone runs to the store to restock our supply using the cash from the jar.

Simple.

I tucked the cash into my wallet along with the list. "Bye Al! I'll see you tonight!" I walked out of the apartment towards my car. I drove a pretty decent sedan that looked alright on the road by itself, but when I parked next to Roses' BMW or Alice's Porsche it just looked pitiful. I do live on a writer's salary after all.

The gym was peacefully deserted; the way I enjoyed it the most. There were a couple of huge muscle builder type men lifting weights in front of the large mirror checking themselves out and a few older women scattered on the cardio equipment. I found a treadmill that had a promising view of some of the more attractive guys working out.

Thirty minutes of building a sweat, I decided to call it quits and jump off the machine. I hesitated outside the woman's locker room, debating whether or not I wanted to take a shower or just wait until I got home. I glanced down at my watch, noticing that it was getting relatively close to dinner time, and decided that a shower would be best if I waited until after the grocery store and when I was at home.

I pulled up to the grocery store, grabbed a cart, and pushed it inside through the sliding doors. List in hand, I started to tackle the first task: fruits and vegetables. I pushed my way lazily around the walls of colorful food, stopping briefly to examine a piece and adding it to the cart or discarding it back on the shelf.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here."

I froze. I was facing the tomatoes, holding one in each hand. _Tomatoes...oh the irony, Bella; you probably look like one right now._ I turned slowly to see Edward's smiling face. "Hi," I said meekly.

He looked more attractive than I remembered, if that's even possible. He was wearing worn in sneakers that looked like they had lived a long life with him, green scrubs on his bottom, and a tight vintage t-shirt was stretched across his chest. He was leaning on the handle bars of his own cart, with his lips tugged up into a crooked smile. His eyes weren't as bright as they had seemed a week ago though; they were a duller shade of green and accompanied by dark purplish bruises underneath his eyes. It looked sort of like he had been living out of his car at the hospital for the past week.

"Hi," he repeated. His eyes wandered down my body briefly and suddenly I was cursing that I decided against taking a shower at the gym. I could feel the sweat drying on my skin and I could only imagine how my hair looked at the moment.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

His smile widened as he chuckled softly. He gestured to the basket in front of him. "Shopping," he said innocently.

Cue inward eye roll. I forced a smile and set down the tomatoes I was holding. "I can see that," I noted, nodding towards his cart. In his basket he had a frozen pizza, a package of lunch meat, beer, and popsicles. I felt myself smiling as I asked, "That doesn't even cover half the food groups on the food pyramid," I told him.

His grin faltered as his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and maybe annoyance. "My food is too part of the food pyramid."

I snorted. He looked at me curiously as my hand came up to try to stifle my laughter. "Okay, I'll prove it." He pointed out one of the boxes. "There's sweets, meats, dairy, vegetables, and carbohydrates. The only thing I'm missing is fruit."

I nodded trying my best not to laugh because he looked so serious. "You're a doctor. You lecture people about eating healthy yet you eat this shit?"

"I don't practice what I preach. Half the crap I eat at the hospital is worse than this," he murmured. "Anyway, what are _you_ doing here, Bella?"

My name sounded so good whenever he said it. "Buying groceries for the apartment," I stated coolly.

Edwards lips turned into a grin. "For all three of you?" I nodded my head. He reached down into the cart and lifted the grocery list from beside my purse. He glanced at it for a few seconds before his brow furrowed in confusion and his lower lip turned into a delicious pout. I had the sudden urge to suck on that lip.

"What the hell?" he asked, his eyes grazing over the paper again. "You can't be buying groceries for all three of you. Alice must buy her own food."

I stood on my tip toes and glanced at the paper. "Um, sorry but this list has been made by all three of us."

"Bagel bites, cheese sticks, Stouffers macaroni and cheese?" he asked. "Alice doesn't eat this shit."

I snatched the paper away from him and grinned. "I've taken her to the dark side." I pushed the cart toward my next journey. "In fact, the macaroni and cheese and cheese sticks are hers. Not like you would know about eating better," I added, picking up a bed of lettuce and examining it.

"How do you know that?"

I arched an eyebrow at him and gestured back to his cart. "Did you know that the grocery store even had a fresh produce section?"

"Nope," he grinned, "I always thought it was just some urban legend."

"Do you even know what fresh produce tastes like?"

He ran a hand through his hand, picking up some lettuce in the other and mimicked my action of examining it. "Nah, I need it to be preserved and doused in sodium to meet my liking."

I laughed at him and he laughed too. I hated that his laugh sounded like bells, while mine probably sounded like cats singing on a trash can.

"You should come over sometime for dinner, then," the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I can cook almost anything you can imagine. Alice and Rose keep me around otherwise they'd go hungry every night."

Edward kicked the floor with the tip of his sneaker. "That sounds really great, actually."

"You can bring Jasper and Emmett too, if you'd like. Two more mouths aren't too much more to feed," I joked.

He laughed, his smile reaching all the way up to his eyes. "Actually bringing Emmett along it'll be more like feeding five more mouths."

"Good to know." I pushed my cart slowly farther down the isle, not sure if Edward would follow me or not. To my pleasant surprise, he did.

"Good work out?" he asked, nodding at my state of clothing.

I felt my cheeks redden. "Yeah, it was good. I guess," I added, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes were studying my face intently and I almost want to ask him if he liked what he had found because his eyes shifted to the floor with a smile on his lips.

I picked up a few more items in the produce section, with Edward trailing behind me rambling about the hospital. "It looks like you haven't slept for days."

He sucked in his lower lip and let out a small sigh. "It feels like I haven't. It's such unpredictable hours…" he trailed off. He picked up an apple and tossed it up into the air. "But that's the price I pay for being a doctor." He rubbed the apple against his shirt, took another glance at it, and then took a big bite out of the side.

"An opportunity cost," I amended.

"Yes," he said with a mouthful of apple, "that's it exactly." He followed me as I continued to push my cart through the supermarket.

"I suppose every job has a price to pay," I mumbled to myself.

Edward quirked an eyebrow at me and took another bite. "Really? I'm not sure I see a whole lot of downside to a sex columnist."

"It has its downers," I stated. I turned to go down the bread isle.

"Yeah, it sure sounds like it." Edward took another bite of his apple before picking up a loaf of bread and tossing it into his basket. "You have a job that the description is to work from home, go party at the popular clubs, date as many men as possible, and have as much sex as you can. That's every mans dream job. Where's the downside in that?"

I bit my cheek and turned to him. "You wouldn't understand," I croaked. I picked up a package of bagels and added them to my cart.

"Try me," he suggested. "I promise I'm not as thick headed as I come off sometimes."

I pursed my lips and stated, "Well because I write a sex column it either attracts the wrong type of men or sends the good guys running for the hills." I resumed pushing my basket down the isle. "That's why I usually don't tell the guys I'm dating what I write. When they find out they make assumptions that because I write about it I must give it up for nothing or they just totally freak out and leave."

Edward was quiet for a few moments. I was expecting a smart ass remark to be projected at me, but instead when I turned around to look at him he was still standing where I had left him with a frown on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"That's fucked up, Bella." His eyes were doing the smoldering thing again and it was making my breath catch in my throat. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his brows were so tightly knit together that his forehead had worry lines creased across it.

I waved him off. "An opportunity cost, remember?"

He pushed his cart towards mine and started shaking his head. "There's a difference of an opportunity cost and when your job is interfering with your life," he mumbled. "Loosing sleep," he added louder, "is an opportunity cost." He gestured to the circles around his eyes.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Loosing losers? That's fine by me. It weeds them out," I added with a laugh.

He stopped his cart, and turned to look at me. His lips were pulled into that crooked smile I was growing fond of on him and his eyes were dark green pools. "You just haven't found someone who can handle all of you yet," he said softly, his voice husky and low.

All the reasoning I had been building up for a week nearly went right out the window. Instead of launching myself at him, I forced a smile, ignoring the sudden pulsing between my thighs, and turned to continue through the grocery store.

Edward continued walking with me.

"Why did you choose to be a sex columnist anyway?" he asked. He picked up a box of cereal as we walked past it and without glancing at it twice he tossed it into his cart.

"I didn't choose it," I responded. "It fell into my lap."

"Well if you didn't choose to do this then what had you planned on doing with…an English major, I'm assuming?" he asked. As we passed the snack food, Edward tossed random bags of chips and crackers into his basket without looking at what they were.

"I don't know…" I mumbled. In all honesty I did know. But that was just it; I was the only person that knew. Alice and Rosalie, pretty much my two sisters, didn't even know what I had imagined doing when I was young…the real reason I went to college and majored in English from the very first day of freshmen year. To write books. The only person that I had ever told had been Jake…

"Don't give me that bullshit." Edward tossed a box of popcorn into his cart, distracting me from my haze. "You know why." He looked behind him and threw me a bright smile. "You don't have to tell me," he added more softly.

I nodded, and continued walking. Edward fell into step with me, pushing his cart right next to mine. "So what made you take the job?"

I blinked. What was this, the Spanish Inquisition? "What's up with the twenty questions today?"

He chucked, running a hand through his unruly hair. "Curiosity," he admitted.

I inwardly rolled my eyes. "I'm so glad I can spark your interest," I stated dryly. I picked up a chicken breast and added it to my cart. Edward did the same.

"I can't help that you interest me," he told me, leaning slightly into my ear. His hot breath blew across my shoulder and I had to suppress a shudder. "You never say what I expect you to. It's fascinating me." He grinned at me and nudged my shoulder with his. "So why did you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You named reasons less than five minutes ago, Bella."

I picked up a few cans of soup and put them in my cart. Edward did the same. "Well…" I started. I bit my lip in concentration and saw Edward narrow his eyes at my lips.

_Oh_. He had said he liked that too much, right?

I shook off that thought for later, determined to answer the question he had asked me. "I thought it was an interesting opportunity, to write openly about something people think is so taboo." I tugged on the hem of my t-shirt. "Life is sexual, and despite the things I said earlier, I really do enjoy my job."

"Good answer."

I felt my lips pulling into a frown. "Good answer? What's that supposed to mean?"

He just grinned at me, reached his arm across my shoulder to muss up my hair. "Exactly what it sounds like. Good answer. It's refreshing to see people who do their jobs because they want to and not because of money or something."

"Isn't that why you became a doctor?" I asked him, tossing a package of mushrooms in my basket. Edward did the same. I stopped to stare at him with my eyebrows raised.

"I became a doctor because I enjoy it, and I love helping people. Majority of doctors you'll meet are in the same boat I am, but there are a few people who just do it for the money and don't have their heart in it."

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?" He blinked blankly at me a few times with his eyebrows raised towards his hairline.

I gestured to all the food he had been throwing into his basket. "What are you doing?" I asked again.

He looked down at his now full cart and grinned sheepishly. "I'm broadening my food pyramid," he stated.

We both laughed the entire way to the check out line. The woman who was ringing up Edward was not so subtly coming on to him, but he was too enthralled with our conversation to notice.

He helped me load the groceries into my car and even pushed my basket into one of the returns in the parking lot. We stood at the back end of my car for a few minutes, finishing up our conversation and I found myself not wanting to leave just yet.

"I think I'll take you up on that dinner offer, if you don't mind," he went on. His smile was infectious; as soon as his lips started to lift upwards I felt mine follow suit. He checked his watch and sighed. "I have to get home…"

"Don't let me keep you!" I smiled warmly at him, finding myself fond of this side of Edward that wasn't as big of an asshole. "I'm sure I'll see you soon," I added.

Edward flashed more of his pearly whites at me and nodded. "Of course." We stood awkwardly for a second, not sure how to close this out. Do you hug? Handshake? Push them up against the car and lick them?

I decided against the last one.

We took a step toward each other, Edward wrapping both of his arms around my neck and pulling me into his chest. I was suddenly over whelmed with his scent; he smelled good enough to eat and I felt my mouth begin to water. My arms wrapped around his torso, feeling his toned body pressed flush against mine.

It was an interesting embrace, because it was slightly too long to be purely friendly, but not quite long enough for it to mean anything either.

Before Edward pulled away I swore I felt him press a kiss into my hair, but I might have imagined it. He ruffled my hair again before he returned to his basket. "See you soon, Bella," he crooned, as he walked off in the direction of his car.

Little did I know how soon it would be.

***

My head was _pounding_.

And I wasn't even hung over. I didn't have a migraine, or a tension headache, or a stress headache. I had a caffeine headache and it was only eleven thirty in the morning.

I was on my way back from my editor's office and I was coming up on the last four blocks before I reached my apartment.

Jackpot. I could spot a Starbucks about two blocks away. I quickened my pace; I was happy I decided against the heels Alice wanted me to wear and stuck with sneakers.

The familiar aroma of coffee beans assaulted my nostrils as soon as I stepped into the building. The place wasn't very busy; right before lunch time seemed to be one of their lulls. Regardless though, the place was still buzzing with people chatting in line and the relentless tapping of keyboards using the free Wi-fi.

I took my place at the back of the line and started glancing over at the menu. Did I want a regular coffee today? No, definitely something with espresso. Maybe a cappuccino then? Oh wait how about—

"Hello?" I heard a familiar voice answer the phone.

I didn't even have to turn to know who it was.

Damnit, I can't even go a fucking week without seeing him. It had only been three days since the supermarket. I turned my head slightly and peeked at him through my hair.

He was wearing dark jeans and a light blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was disheveled in every direction. He was leaning back in his chair, stretching his legs underneath the empty seat across from him while he held up a cell phone to his ear. The table he was sitting at was small, barely big enough for two, with a steaming cup of coffee, a half eaten muffin, and a book he had probably been reading on it.

Did I _really_ need coffee?

The constant pounding in my head answered my question. There was not a drop of caffeine to be found anywhere in the apartment.

I heard him have a quiet conversation with whoever was on the phone. I bit my lip and started to plan my escape. If I told the cashier a different name, then I could most likely sneak out of the shop without Edward noticing me. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him it was just…well, honestly I _did _want to talk to him, which was why I was trying to avoid it.

"What can I get you?" the guy behind the register asked me.

"Venti honey latte, please," I said softly to him. He nodded, giving my body and breasts an approving smirk, and began writing on a cup. "Name?"

"Swan."

"Like the bird?" the kid asked.

"Yes, like the bird." The kid grinned at me, scribbled it down and rang me up. He leaned on the counter after giving me back my change.

"So, Swan, like the bird," he started, trying to arrange his features in what I guessed he assumed appealing. "I bet you taste sweeter than honey." He tossed me a wink.

I suppressed my snort; the kid looked like he was barely eighteen. Instead of giving him lip, I forced a sickly sweet smile I learned from Rosalie and watched the boy melt on the spot. "Sorry, _honey," _I crooned at him, "but I'll pass." I laughed as I watched him throw his hand up to his heart and pretend that I was breaking it.

I chose to wait close to the door for my coffee. I was hoping that whoever Edward was talking to on the phone would distract him enough that he wouldn't hear my last name. It looked like he was arguing with whoever was on the other end of the phone, because he was talking in harsh whispers, his face was getting slightly flushed, and his hand kept running through his hair.

"Swan!"

I had no such luck. As soon as the guy called my name, Edward's head shot up and his eyes searched the place. His eyes met mine and a slow grin spread across his face.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I did a small wave. He beckoned me over with a small nod towards the seat across from him and finished the conversation on the phone. Latte in hand, I walked over to greet him.

"Hey you," he drawled, staring up at me.

"Hi," I answered dumbly. I traced the lid of my drink lazily with my index finger as he smiled up at me.

"Are you stalking me now or something?" he asked, while kicking out the chair across from him with his foot.

"It can't be considered stalking if you're enjoying it," I snapped at him, which only caused his grin to widen.

"I can't deny I do. So what? I enjoy your company. We're friends, that's acceptable right?" He pushed the chair again with his toe. "Sit, Swan."

I felt my knees bending before I could tell myself no. I settled across from him, crossed my legs, and took a sip of my latte. Now that I was up close, I could see that he looked better than he did at the grocery store; he had virtually no bags under his eyes. "You got sleep," I noted.

"Yes, I did." He took a sip of his own coffee. "I'm relishing in it, because I have a night shift tonight and it's unlikely for me to be able to get an hour or two in the on call room." He shrugged nonchalantly, like it was no big deal he didn't sleep or the fact he could function so well on no sleep.

I stared at him and blinked at him a few times before turning my attention away from his face. If I kept starring at it then I would most likely end up doing something I regretted.

I reached across the table to pick up the book that was tossed out in front of him. I glanced at the title and had to let out a laugh. "_The Great Gatsby?"_ I asked.

He shrugged again and stated coolly, "I enjoy the classics."

I bit my lip, deciding to temporarily distract myself by drinking my too hot drink. "I enjoy them too," I said in a quiet voice.

"What's your favorite?" he asked, tearing off a part of his muffin and popping it into his mouth.

"_Pride and Prejudice," _I answered easily.

"A Jane Austen fan, are we?" he chuckled, ran a hand through his hair and popped another piece of muffin into his mouth.

"Yes, actually." I watched his jaw flex as he chewed, wondering why I'd never seen a man with jaw quiet like his before. It was square, chiseled, and oozed masculinity.

"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" he tossed the question out in the air, during the middle of our normal conversation like it was no big deal.

"I—" I paused, because I didn't want to stutter. "I'm probably spending the rest of the day at home writing my article," I admitted. I suddenly wished I had something important sounding to do.

"Oh! I read last weeks, by the way. I enjoyed it," he added, his eyes roaming over my face, neck and shoulders. They lingered on what seemed like my collar bone for a minute before returning to my own gaze.

"I'm glad—"

"Especially when you referred to Jasper as _J Suave_. He got a kick out of that."

"I'm glad he—"

"Do you always use initials or nicknames when you refer to people in the article?" he interrupted me again. I felt my cheeks redden from anger, and his lips were tugging into a crooked smile; he knew he was pissing me off.

"Yes, I do," I said quickly, not giving him the chance to interrupt me again.

"Why?"

I shrugged, trying to mimic his nonchalant mood from a few moments ago. "So people don't know who I'm talking about in the article. I want to spare them something," I added swiftly. "It annoys me sometimes that people know who I am when I'm spilling my love life on paper, so I try to spare those who I'm writing—"

"What's my nickname?" he interrupted again.

My brows furrowed in annoyance. "What makes you think you have a nickname?"

"You just said you gave everyone a nickname in your article."

I took another sip of my drink. "Who said I was going to write about you?"

We didn't speak for a moment. We just both sat starring at each other in the eye, neither of us blinking or moving; it was an unspoken staring contest and whoever was the first to look away lost. I arched an eyebrow at him and watched him let out a small laugh. He raised his coffee to me and said, "Touché."

I felt the corners of my mouth tugging up as I took another sip. "Why didn't you give nicknames for Alice and Rosalie?" he asked me, after finishing his muffin.

"There aren't any nicknames that do them justice," I told him. "Honestly can you think of one that describes Alice in one word?" Edward rubbed his chin quietly and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Thank you, I rest my case."

"What about Pixie? Or Tinkerbelle?"

"She's a person, Edward, not a Chihuahua."

He shrugged, like it was no big deal. I huffed out the breath I had been holding and felt my blood begin to boil. "Don't just shrug your shoulders—"

"Who is _Wolverine?"_

He hit a nerve. I gripped my latte too tightly as I felt my face flush. "Why do you insist on interrupting me with stupid questions?" I shrilled.

He leaned back on his chair and interlocked his hands behind his head. "I enjoy getting a rise out of you," he admitted.

I stood up abruptly. I had the biggest urge to pour my latte over his head, but seeing as it might cause third degree burns and the fact I paid four dollars for it, I refrained. Instead I picked up my purse, sneering at him, "I'm so glad I'm your entertainment," and turned to walk out the door.

Of course I would trip. Because I live in a universe that thinks its hilarious to keep Bella from standing up right for longer than five minutes. And plus I hadn't tripped, stumbled, or fallen in the past four days; it was coming.

I landed on my ass. I groaned; I could already feel it bruising, but that's not why I was upset. My latte was spilled across the floor in front of me. Damnit, if I had known I would spill it I would have dumped it over Edward's head.

A rugged hand was offered down to me in my line of sight. I looked up to see Edward grinning down at me, his face showing how much amusement he was getting out of my pain. I took it, and he lifted me up effortlessly with one arm; I barely had to use my muscles to stand.

"You okay?" he asked, still holding on to my hand.

I glanced down at it, feeling my fingertips starting to tingle. "Well my ass is probably bruised and my latte—"

"You'll be fine," he amended. He dropped my hand and bent down to pick up my discarded cup to throw it in the trash. The kid that was hitting on me earlier showed up with a mop and started to clean up the mess I made.

I put my hands on my hips and stared at him. I hadn't expected him to catch me, but I was literally right next to the table. All he would have had to do was stand up and reach out.

He caught my eye. My face must have been showing some of my emotions because he arched an eyebrow at me. "Are you mad that I didn't catch you?" he asked harshly. I didn't say anything. I decided to just stare at him and let him make his own assessments of my actions. He chuckled, grabbing hold of the crook of my elbow, and leaned into my ear. "You aren't ready for me to catch you," he whispered hungrily. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the vibrations of another wave of laughter roll off of him. "Come on," he tugged on my arm, "let's get you another latte."

He replaced my latte, with much resisting on my part, and started walking with me on the street. "Would you like to run an errand with me?" he asked eagerly.

I arched an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of my fresh drink. "What kind of errand?"

"Well I don't have to be at hospital until four, and I needed to run by to get a few new CD's. If you don't want to that's fine, I just assumed that it might be better than sitting in your apartment all day," he told me wearily.

"Sure."

Seeing his grin spread across his face was worth any of the amount of teasing or interrupting he was bound to do the rest of the afternoon.

We spent the rest of the afternoon listening to random CD's at a local music store that was kind of hidden away in the middle of a busy street. We argued over who was had a bigger impact in musical history, what bands were better, and what type of music we enjoyed the most.

I learned that Edward _loved_ music. He had mentioned that he had a passion for it that night we had drinks, but he never mentioned it to be on the level it was. As soon as we stepped foot into the record store, his eyes went wide like he was a little boy in a candy store. He moved around the store at ease, picking up random albums and sampling them, showing me ones he loved, and suggesting me ones he thought I might enjoy.

He was in his element here. One of his many elements, obviously, and suddenly I was dying to see him in a surgery.

"Here," he said, shoving a CD into my hands.

"What's this?"

"Kings of Leon. You'll like them," he added, flipping through a stack of CDs next to him.

I couldn't help but feel enamored with him. As much as I tried to push away the attraction I was feeling towards him, I felt it was only a matter of time before I gave in. It was obvious that he never believed the friends route would be one for us; his smoldering stares and lingering touches told me more than his words would ever need to.

"_Your sex is on fire," _he whispered to me.

Be still my heart.

"Excuse me?" I squeaked.

He chuckled and pointed to the CD. "That's my favorite track," he told me, his tone light. He moved towards a different section, holding two CDs already in his hands.

I clutched the CD to my chest, willing my heart to slow down. _Friends for now,_ I repeated, _it can escalate to that later._

I walked to the counter and laid the CD on it. The man behind it picked it up and scanned it. "Is this it for you?"

I glanced back at Edward, who was biting his lower lip in concentration as he read through the titles of the albums. He lifted his eyes briefly and caught mine, sending a small grin across his features. With my heart still fluttering widely in my chest, I turned back to the man and smiled at him.

"For now."

***

Edward and I walked back from the record store, both of us holding bags of our purchases. I checked my watch. "You need to get going," I noted.

"What time is it?" he asked, taking a bite out of the hot dog he just bought.

"Three thirty," I told him. We walked another minute, stopping about a block away from the hospital when it came into view.

"Yeah, I need to shower and change before I start my shift," he agreed. He finished his hot dog with on big bite and took a swig of his water bottle to wash it down. He finished, smiling at me, but it looked like he was biting the inside of his cheek. "Thanks for coming with me today," he thanked me.

"No problem. I'll listen to the CD when I get home."

He nodded and tucked one of his hands into his front pockets. It was the grocery store all over again—neither of us were sure still of how to wrap up our meetings. "Good luck with your article."

"I would say have fun, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate," I told him dully. I resisted the urge to kick the ground with my shoe.

Edward shook his head at me. "It's appropriate," he reassured me, grinning ear to ear. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, just like in the parking lot, and his scent assaulted my senses once again.

The embrace was like the last one; too long to be friendly, too short to be anything else.

"Bye Bells," he added, before he turned on his heels and started walking towards the hospital.

I stood there for a minute, watching him leave. My heart was still beating erratically in my chest, and I felt heat pulse through my veins. I had never felt the need to get laid as much as I felt the need right now and what was even worse was that I felt like only one thing could produce the relief I needed: Edward.

He stopped walking a couple hundred feet away from me and turned back to see if I was still there. His eyes met mine and for a split second, I felt a familiar pang in my heart as he grinned and sent me a small wave.

I was turning into such a sap.

My apartment was empty, which I was grateful for so I didn't get interrogated about my whereabouts for the day.

I settled myself at my desk, opening my lap top screen and placed my new CD into it. I tapped my fingertip across the mahogany desk, waiting patiently for my iTunes to upload the CD and play it for me.

My ears were soon filled the sound of guitars. I smiled, listening to the lyrics, kind of surprised that I was enjoying this as much as I was.

"_You, your sex is on fire," _the computer sang to me.

I leaned back into my chair and closed my eyes, listening to the rest of the CD. The thing that was interesting was that every song somehow reminded me of Edward.

Soft lips are open, them knuckles are pale  
Feels like you're dying, You're dying  
You, Your sex is on fire  
And so were the words to transpire  
Hot as a fever, Rattling bones  
I could just taste it, Taste it  
But it's not forever  
But it's just tonight  
Oh we're still the greatest

**-Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"**

*******

the whole friends thing doesn't seem like it's going to last much longer, does it? :) I know a lot of you are probably screaming at the screen saying "JUST DO HIM ALREADY!" but I have my reasoning too why Bella won't pounce on Edward just yet...all will be revealed shortly. Remember its just chapter 3 ;) I've posted three chapters in ten days...give me a little time to get out ch 4, deal?

Keep the reviews coming. They make my day. Literally. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so since my last update some interesting things have happened. First I was struck with a horrible case of writers block and then my computer decided to crash on me. It's fixed now though so we're back in business :) Chapter five is started already so it shouldn't be this long before an update again. Promise! Oh and if I didn't respond to your review, know that it was because of the computer issue and I'm going to try my hardest to get back to them!

No song for this chapter, but if you're curious to hear what I was listening to while I wrote the majority of it, go YouTube **The Beatles vs. Nine Inch Nails Come Closer Together**. I fell in love.

WARNING! This chapter earns the story's rating. Please, please don't read if you're underage.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. At all.

"Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics."

**Bella**

The three of us had a system.

If any of us really liked a guy, we would make him pick us up instead of meeting us for drinks or dinner. One of us would sit down the guy and talk to him, kind of like playing the "Dad" role, to see what kind of vibe he gave us. The other two girls would hide out in their bedroom while "finishing" getting ready, when really we would just end up watching America's Next Top Model or Top Chef and wait for whoever is interrogating the dude to knock on the door.

It was flawless. We've weeded out so many bad apples that way.

So when Alice was suddenly running around the apartment trying to actually get ready on _time_ for her date, Rosalie and I were both confused.

"Alice! Where is my cool as a cucumber best friend and what have you done with her?" Rosalie asked, flipping through the channels.

Alice turned to glare at her with curlers still in her hair and a pair of Jimmy Choos in her hand. "This is a huge deal, Rose. It has to be perfect!"

I sank further down in the couch with Rosalie. "It's Jasper."

"Exactly!"

I rolled my eyes and kept watching the TV with Rose, the two of us occasionally snickering or giggling when we heard Alice's frantic curses.

"He should be here any second—" Alice started.

_Knock, knock._ Speak of the devil and he doth appear.

"He's here! Bella! Rose!" she cried from her bedroom.

We both rose from our seats. I wandered to Alice's room to keep her company while Rosalie let Jasper into the apartment. I had just shut her bedroom door when I heard Rose croon, "Hello Jasper."

Alice stood next to me, completely done and ready with her hair curled and makeup applied, with her ear pressed flesh against the wooden door.

"Alice, what—"

"Shh! I can't hear what they're saying."

She was just a bundle of nerves tonight. The whole soul mate thing with Jasper was starting to get a little out of hand in my eyes. But I didn't want to upset her tonight, so I just pushed my ear against the door with her and tried to listen to the conversation in the living room.

"Alice will just be a few more minutes," Rose informed him. "Have a seat." It wasn't an offer or a question, it was a demand. I fought back a smile; Rosalie was always the best interrogator.

"Thank you," Jasper answered. He sounded hesitant, as if he knew what was coming at him.

"Tell me about yourself, Jasper." I could imagine Rosalie in my mind: she would be sitting across from him on the couch in the oversized arm chair with her legs crossed and her eyes narrowed.

He cleared his throat nervously. "There's not much to tell."

She let out a kind of menacing laugh. "That's a line from Bella's book. Try again." I scowled at Alice as she tried to muffle her laughter.

"That's not funny, Alice!" I hissed at her. She smiled and waved me off, pressing her ear harder against the door.

Jasper let out a small laugh. "Alright," he started. "I'm an engineer for starters."

"Who do you work for?"

"I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you," he said in a somewhat serious voice.

There was silence for a minute. Alice and I exchanged a wary glance as we waited for either Jasper or Rosalie to speak up. In all honesty it was Rose who was supposed to be up to bat, but her stare was so intense sometimes it just made the word vomit flow freely with some guys.

Not with Jasper though.

I'm sure if Alice pushed up any harder against the door she'd get a bruise. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, we heard Rosalie let out a small laugh. An 'I like you…for now' kind of laugh.

Alice stood up and straightened her dress. With one last glance in the mirror, she pushed open her bedroom door and strutted out. "Interrogation over!" she sang. She smiled widely at Jasper and a faint bit of pink crossed her cheeks. "Hi Jazz," she said shyly.

Jasper rose off the couch and handed her a bouquet of flowers. "Hey." He smiled down at her.

Alice grasped the flowers and took in their scent. "Thank you! They're beautiful." She handed them to me without breaking eye contact with him. "Can you put them in my room for me, Bells?"

I fought against a smile. "Sure."

"Thanks," Alice said almost breathlessly. Her hands were clutching her purse so tightly it her knuckles were getting a little white. Rosalie and I exchanged a glance at each other; neither Alice nor Jasper had broken eye contact yet. It felt odd being watching them stare at each other like that. It was strangely intimate.

"Are you ready to go?" Jasper asked softly.

Alice nodded her head enthusiastically and grasped his hand with hers. "Bye guys. Don't wait up."

"Good night Bella, Rose. It was a pleasure seeing you again." He smiled at both of us before leading Alice toward the door.

After the front door was shut again and securely locked, Rosalie turned to me with her hands on her hips. "What the fuck?"

"I know!"

She waltzed into the kitchen and started to get things out for our dinner. "I've _never_ seen her like that." She popped out a frozen pizza from the freezer and preheated the oven. "It's kind of unnerving."

"Tell me about it," I agreed.

Rosalie sighed and reached into the back pocket of her jeans to pull out her cell phone. She flipped it open, studied the screen for a moment before she fought a grin and began tapping away at the keys. I cocked my head to the side as I watched her fingers sweep across the phone's buttons.

"Who's that?" I asked, leaning against the counter and crossing my ankles.

Her eyes snapped to mine and her smile faded slightly. "Who am I texting?" she asked hesitantly.

I nodded towards the phone. "I haven't seen you grin like that in a while."

She shut it with a loud snap and stuffed it in her back pocket. "Oh, no one really," she waved her hand at me and put the pizza on a cookie sheet. She placed it in the oven and tried to busy herself around the kitchen so she could avoid my gaze.

"Bull shit," I arched an eyebrow at her, although it did no use since she wasn't looking at me.

She just shrugged at me while tossing the pizza box in the trash. "It was just Emmett asking if we were still on for the 'family dinner' you signed us up for tomorrow night."

I thought about pushing why she would get so giddy about Emmett coming over, but I decided that Alice being on edge was enough for all three of us for one night. "You liked the idea!"

"And I still do," she told me, picking up her drink and exiting the kitchen. "I just think it's ironic."

"Ironic?" I asked as I followed her out.

She nodded. "Yes, ironic. The past few weeks have been. This sex god you meet happens to be one of your best friends' older brothers and then you turn down _more_ sex with him to be his _friend. _And then his best friend gets a thing for Alice and suddenly the two of them plus the other brother is coming for dinner?" She paused to take a sip of her drink. "Oh, the irony. It seems it's a small world after all."

"Stop being so sarcastic."

She pursed her lips at me and tilted her head to the right. "Where's the fun in that?"

"You're going to make tomorrow hell for me, aren't you?" I asked, sinking into the couch and clutching a pillow to my chest.

Rose smiled devilishly at me, revealing rows of perfectly white straight teeth. "No, I won't." She took another sip, and just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief she added, "I have a feeling that you'll do just fine with that on your own."

I groaned loudly into my pillow. She laughed and rubbed my back affectionately as she flipped through the channels.

The rest of the night Rose and I ate our frozen pizza, watched sappy romance movies like Titanic, and we both went to bed early so we wouldn't happen to "wait up" for Alice. Although I didn't hear her come home at all during the night.

***

Life is about timing. Timing is everything.

Well cooking is about timing, too.

So when six o'clock rolled around the next day I got a little stressed. I hadn't planned on making an extravagant meal by any means, but as the deadline for this so called family dinner was fast approaching, the more I wanted the guys to walk away being 'wowed' by my food.

I was tearing apart the kitchen in my search for ingredients to make something that would leave their taste buds speechless. So far I wasn't getting too close to that goal.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked, sitting herself on a stool across from me. I glanced at her from over my shoulder before continuing my search.

"Trying to figure out what to make for dinner," I half barked as I shifted through our produce drawer.

"I thought you were making spaghetti."

"Things change."

I heard her tap her nails on the granite impatiently. I refrained from rolling my eyes. Even since Alice dragged herself into the apartment at about noon she had been avoiding questions from Rosalie and me by locking herself in her room. We didn't know whether to take that as a good or bad sign and Rose was about ten minutes from calling Emmett to cancel dinner when she strutted out of her room like nothing was up.

So we decided not to ask her how her night was. We figured she'd tell us if it was juicy.

"I'm waiting," Alice sighed dramatically.

I fished out some chicken and pasta. "For what?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

"For you to ask me about last night."

I tossed out some more ingredients on to the counter. "I figured you'd just tell me."

"Bella, you're my best friend. It's your job to ask." I could practically hear her pouting.

"Rose hasn't asked either."

"Trust me, I'll get to her later," she assured me.

"Alright then, spill." I fished around the pantry searching the labels for something that I could salvage.

"I have no doubt in my mind that Jasper is my soul mate. Bells, he's absolutely perfect. Any quality I've ever thought of having in a guy, he has. He even posses qualities I've never even dreamed of…" she trailed off.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh or roll my eyes or anything similar that would piss Alice off. "What would that entail?"

She paused for a moment, probably to think of the best one that would impress me. "Well for starters, he plays guitar. And writes a little poetry. He stayed up all night playing some of the songs he's written and read me some of his poems."

I arched an eye brow, even though I wasn't facing her. "No late night romps?"

"Nope," she answered, popping the 'p'.

I turned to look at her. "No rolling around between the sheets? No nookie or doing the dirty?"

"No, no, and no. And please don't ever say 'nookie' again."

I grinned and turned back towards the ingredients in front of me. "Tell me more."

"Well…" she trailed off and her voice kind of faded into the background. Not that I didn't care or wasn't interested, I just wasn't in the mood to hear Alice gush about Jasper. I nodded and gasped at the right moments, but really I knew all I needed to know already: Jasper was "amazing". End of story.

I finally decided I had the ingredients to do a Chicken Gorgonzola. I had enough things to feed six mouths, so I was crossing my fingers that Emmett didn't come very hungry tonight.

I really bother getting dressed for the evening. I was wearing a wife beater and a pair of jeans from earlier and had some make up still left in place. My hair was tied back into a messy knot on the back of my head as I slaved over the stove cooking the chicken and pasta.

"THEY'RE HERE!" Alice shrilled, running out from her room toward the front door. I shook my head at her, watching her almost trip over her heels. Rosalie was just sitting on the couch drinking a beer watching some game that was currently playing. She laughed at Alice, not even breaking her gaze from the tube.

Alice stopped at the door and tapped the toe of her shoe impatiently for a moment before a very firm knock rapped against the door. She smiled brightly, ceasing her tapping, but waited another minute before taking that last step and opening the front door.

"Hi," she said breathlessly. I had a feeling it was only to Jasper, but her two brothers took that as a greeting for them as well.

"Hey lil sis!" Emmett scooped her up in his arms before Jasper even had time to register Alice was standing in front of him.

Alice choked from the lack of air. Emmett set her down carefully on her feet before bouncing into the kitchen. "Bella this smells _amazing_." He peered over my shoulder at all the pots and pans before clapping his hands together excitedly. "How long until it's ready?"

"Patience has never been a virtue of yours, Emmett," Edward drawled from the doorway. He patted an oblivious Alice on the head on the way into the kitchen. "This does smell great," he agreed with his brother.

Emmett ignored Edward. "How long?" he persisted again.

I stirred the sauce and checked the clock that was against the microwave. "I just started, so maybe another thirty minutes?"

Emmett sighed in frustration. He glanced around and spotted Rosalie on the couch nursing her beer. "Mind if I grab one, Rosalie?" he called to her. She didn't answer; she just raised her beer in the direction of the fridge. He retrieved himself one before joining her on the couch. "My kind of woman," he muttered under his breath as he was leaving.

Edward approached me shyly. "Here," he mumbled, thrusting a bottle of wine in my hands. "We didn't know what you were making so we weren't sure what kind of wine…" he trailed off nervously. "I hope it's okay."

I ran my hand over the label and smiled up at him. "You didn't have to. But thank you anyway."

"You like red?"

"Yes, very much." I set the bottle on the counter and started rummaging through the drawers to find the wine opener. After I retrieved it, Edward took it from my hands and began to open the bottle himself.

"Would you like a glass?" he asked me. I nodded while flipping a chicken breast in the skillet in front of me. It sizzled and smoked slightly.

Edward began to pour a glass for everyone except Rose and Emmett. He set down two next to me. I was curious about it until he returned back to the kitchen, bringing one of the glasses up to his lips and taking a long sip.

"So…How are you?" he asked hesitantly.

I laughed. "Fine, I suppose. How are you? How's the hospital?"

He shrugged while taking another sip. "I've been better. The hospital is like it always is." I'm not sure if that was a good answer or a bad but regardless I shook it off. "Do you need any help?"

"No. In fact, I don't like people in my kitchen while I'm cooking. So go hang out in the living room." I swatted his backside with a dish towel.

"No way. I have to prove to you I know how to work my way around the kitchen after you embarrassed me at the supermarket." He tore the towel from my hand and began winding it up, eyeing my ass.

"Don't you dare…" I put my hands over my butt and back up toward the counter.

"Oh, I would."

"You wouldn't."

"I assure you, I would." He snapped the towel against the counter right next to me to prove his point. I yelped slightly in surprise then glared at him. "Come here, Isabella," he cooed.

My cheeks began to burn slightly at the use of my full name. I usually cringed away from it but the sound of it rolling off of his tongue was strangely…erotic? It made my heart accelerate and my blood begin to boil in a good way.

"Never!" I was firmly against the counter now. He snapped the towel at my other side. I figured it was coming so I didn't cry out in surprise this time. After a few more times of snapping it at my feet and my sides, Edward raised his hands in defeat.

"I surrender," he sighed, waiving the towel in the air. "White flag. Truce?" He tossed the towel over his right shoulder and offered me a smile.

"Truce." I turned back around to attend to the food cooking in front of me.

I must have not heard Edward back away from me, but I definetly hear the whoosh of the towel gliding through the air. But by that point it was too late. The dish towel came into contact harshly with my ass cheek, making my skin sting slightly.

"Ah! Do you not understand what truce or surrender means, Edward?" I scolded him, rubbing the back of my jeans with my hands.

He was just grinning stupidly at me while tossing the towel back over his shoulder. I felt myself smile and reached for it to pull it off his shoulder. "Hey—" he protested.

"No way," I told him. I started to twirl the towel between my hands. I swear I saw his eyes darken slightly as they followed my movements. He didn't even begin to try and run away or block me as I snapped the towel out to hit his backside. He hissed slightly, tilting his head to the side.

His expression caused me to stop and take in an unsteady breath. Yes, we were shamelessly flirting, both of us probably enjoying it way too much, but the look on his face had moved past flirting. He was looking at me with lust and it was making my stomach tie into a knot.

He snatched the towel back out from my hands and snapped it against my hip. It wasn't as hard as it had been with my ass but it still stung a little. Stung in a good way. In a way that send nerves straight to my core. He was walking towards me, still spinning the towel between his hands, waiting for his opportunity to attack.

I didn't get to think much of his advances because Alice sauntered into the kitchen at that moment with an empty wine glass in her hand. She paused in the door frame, taking in our position, before shrugging her shoulders and glaring at Edward. "You shouldn't pick on Bella, Edward."

He took a step away from me and returned the towel to his shoulder. His crooked grin was in full effect, showing off his pearly whites. "I'm not picking on her."

"He's got a thing for short people. He's mean to them." She poured herself a very healthy glass of wine before smiling brightly. She turned to Edward and said, "Bella's feisty. She won't be afraid to pick on you back." And with that she turned to go back to the living room.

I smiled at her retreating form. Edward was watching me though, not Alice. "I can see that," he said. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his green eyes were ablaze, and his breathing hadn't quite returned to normal. I looked over back at the food.

"Go sit and wait with the others, Edward."

His lower lip jutted out slightly. "Are…are you sure?"

I nodded, trying to push him out of my cramped work space. He finally got the hint and stalked out of the room with his shoulders slightly hunched.

I finished the pasta early on. All that I was waiting on was the chicken and the sauce. The whole apartment was filled with the smell of little Italy at this point and every five minutes Emmett would comment on how hungry he was. I made a small cut into a chicken breast to check how close it was to being done when I felt hot breath blow against my neck. "What are you making, again?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Edward was leaning over my shoulder, his face merely inches away from my own. My heart began to pump harder in my chest and my skin began to tingle just from his proximity. "Chicken gorgonzola," I repeated.

"Oh." He made no notion to move. I could practically feel the heat radiating off of him. I bet if I just leaned back slightly I would be flush up against him…

Stop Bella.

Bad, bad Bella.

I took in a deep breath, but that didn't help. All I could smell was a mix of the food I was cooking and Edward. The two combined was intoxicating.

"I thought I told you to go to the living room. It'll be literally less than five minutes."

Edward looked back into the living room and narrowed his eyes. "I can't stay in there any longer. Emmett and Rosalie are so enthralled in the game it's not even funny and it gets annoying watching your best friend make ga-ga eyes at your little sister." He made a gagging sound as he turned back towards me. "It's weird."

"Jasper sounds pretty amazing," I told him, trying to take the subject on a different route.

"He is," he agreed. "But I'm not sold on the idea he's good enough for Alice."

"Mmhm. Are there any guys that you would be?" I asked, lowering the heat on the chicken.

Edward rubbed the scruff of his jaw thoughtfully. "No, probably not." He leaned across the counter from me and watched me work. "You like to cook."

"Yes, I do."

"Mmm. You mentioned that." He crossed his ankles in front of him but left his arms at his sides. His hair was unruly as ever, his green eyes were making me feel completely naked in front of him as they lingered over my body appreciatively. "Is it any good?" he nodded toward the stove.

"The chicken? Or the pasta?" I asked, removing the chicken completely from the heat.

"Neither," he pushed off the counter to come closer to me. "I was talking about the sauce. Chicken and pasta are always good, no matter how you prepare them. It's the sauce that's essentially what makes the dish taste good. So I'm asking you is it any good?"

I put my hands on my hips and stared at him. "Of course it is."

"Let me try it."

"Fine," I huffed out. I picked up a discarded spoon and dipped it into the sauce. Careful not to spill any, I brought the spoon up to Edward's lips. He sucked the spoon into his mouth and as he did his eyes closed in response.

"Mmmm," he moaned. I smiled and pulled the spoon out, but as I did a little bit of sauce got on the corner of his upper lip that didn't come off when he licked his lips afterwards. I giggled at him for a minute. "What?"

"You have sauce." I set the spoon down and reached up to his mouth. "Here." I pressed my index finger to the corner of his lips. His eyes grew slightly wider and his lips parted. I pulled my finger away so he could see the cream colored sauce on my digit. "See?"

He licked his lips and nodded. Feeling somewhat daring, I slipped my finger into my mouth to lick it off. His eyes watched my movements and I swore I saw them narrow at my fingers but I couldn't be certain. But I definitely saw the green of his eyes darken from emerald to forest for the second time within the hour.

Edward took a step towards me, somewhat trapping me in the corner of the counter top. He lightly placed both hands besides my hips on the granite as his face leaned in closer to mine.

His gaze was making my panties uncomfortable; the way his eyes would drift from mine down to my lips before back again. He was going to kiss me. He was going to kiss me. Oh God. _Oh God._

Slowly but surely, his face came down to mine to where we were only an inch apart. My breathing was coming out heavier and I found that my own gaze was shifting between his eyes and lips. My lips instinctively parted as he tilted his head to the right. Half an inch…

"I swear I'm so hungry I could eat a couch," Emmett yelled from the other room.

Edward froze. I froze. He sighed in defeat as he rested his forehead against mine and forced a grim smile. "I apologize for Emmett. He's normally not this rude," he whispered.

I gave him a smile that was just as grim as the one he sent me. "Don't worry about it…" Edward backed away from me, leaving me feeling cold and frustrated.

Dinner was served after that, and not with a smile. I was horny and at the moment all I wanted was to be bent over the dining room table rather than for all six of us to be eating off of it.

Rosalie and Emmett sat next to each other and across from Jasper and Alice. That left Edward and me for the heads of the table.

"Great dinner, Bella," Jasper complimented me.

"Yeah! Amazing!" Emmett said between mouthfuls.

Edward didn't say anything. Instead he caught my eye and winked at me. That said more than words ever could.

"So," Rosalie started, setting down her fork. She grinned mischievously at me which suddenly made my insides turn. "Edward."

He glanced up from his plate with a mouthful of food. I bit my lip; it was cute how he studied her expression as he finished chewing his dinner. "Yes?"

"It's so great that you and Bella are _friends," _she cooed, emphasizing the word friends. I narrowed my eyes slightly at her while Edward arched an eyebrow in my direction.

He nodded slowly, watching me. "Yes, yes it is."

The rest of the dinner Rosalie and Emmett held most of the conversation. Alice and Jasper were too busy staring at each other to contribute and Edward and I piped in occasionally but it seemed that both of us were playing with our food. But every once in a while Rosalie would hint towards something in the slightest and it would make both Edward and my heads snap up, stare at each other, then turn slightly red.

Oh, I was going to kill Rosalie Hale.

I started to put the dishes away into the dishwasher as Edward brought me left over plates from the table. "Thank you," he said huskily in my ear.

I shivered. "For what?"

"Dinner. Now how about _dessert_?" The way he said dessert had me questioning what type of after dinner treat he was referring to.

"Maybe some other time," I managed to breathe out, some kind of authoritative tone to my voice.

He took a dish from my hands and put it in the dishwasher. "Is that a promise?" He grinned wickedly at me. "Because I have to say I haven't had food that good since my mother's and I'm tempted to throw you over my shoulder and take you home with me."

I know he just was talking about cooking food but I couldn't stop the images of him throwing me over other things and taking advantage of me.

Gah. Stop Bella. _Friends, friends, friends._

Edward wandered around to the counter and picked up the book I had been reading earlier in the week. "Jane Eyre," he read aloud. He looked back to me and raised his eyebrows toward his hairline. He flipped through the book, stopping at every fifty pages or so to notice a page that had been dog-eared or accidentally torn. "I bet you've read this book at least ten times," he said softly. It was actually so soft, I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. An emotion flickered across his eyes. "_My bride is here…because my equal is here, and my likeness_."

I blinked blankly at him before I could stop the words from exiting my mouth. "_I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will."_

His grin grew deliciously crooked as a spoke. Running a hand through his hair he laughed heartily and closed some distance between us. I laughed along with him, feeling it lighten the heavy atmosphere of the evening. "I told you I like the classics."

I nodded. "Yeah, I believe you. Not many men can quote Jane Eyre. Actually, I've never met one that wasn't an English professor."

A strand hair must have fallen out of my knot at the back of my head, because suddenly Edward's hand reached out and tucked the dark curl securely behind my ear. He didn't move his hand right away; he just cupped my cheek and stared into my eyes. My heart began to beat faster and I felt the blood begin to pump in my veins like batter acid. After a minute like that, Edward must have realized he was touching me because he quickly withdrew his hand, tightening it into a fist on the way back down to his side. He opened his mouth and started, "Bella—"

Emmett wandered into the kitchen with Jasper trailing behind him. "Eddie, let's go. I finally got Jasper to leave Alice alone and I'm taking him away. Let's make a run for it." He grinned widely, reaching down and pulling me into a warm embrace. "Dinner was amazing, Bella. Don't feel shy about cooking for us some time soon." He pulled away and winked at me.

Edward kicked the floor with his toe of his shoe. I smiled at the habit. "I'll see you soon, Bella," he said as he reached down and pulled me to him. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist and he lifted me slightly off the ground. I know I wasn't imagining it this time; Edward placed a kiss into the side of my head and I'm ninety percent positive I heard him sigh deeply into my hair.

"See you soon, Edward." I bit my lip as I watched his retreating form exit the kitchen before he tossed me one more grin as he left the apartment. Rosalie shut the door quietly behind them and turned to face me with a smirk on her lips. "Rosalie Hale, you are evil."

She just smiled. "Why Bella, I have no idea what you're talking about." She glanced over at Alice who was pretty tipsy off the wine and getting ready for bed. "Okay, sorry," she said in a hushed whisper. "But come on, its obvious how much you guys like each other. I haven't seen two people squirm so much in the seats since grade school. And the sexual tension, whew, Bells. You couldn't cut that shit with a steak knife it was so thick."

I groaned slightly and touched my cheek where he had been just moments earlier. It was tingling. I narrowed my eyes slightly at her before I brushed past her. "Unnecessary, Rose. I'm heading to bed. Good night."

I heard her sing a good night in my direction before I shut the door. My hand came to rest on my breast bone as I felt my heart finally begin to return to his normal beat. I was going to end up having a heart attack before my birthday if this kept up. I could read the headlines now: _'Columnist dies of heart attack at age 25 because of attractive doctor.' _That's embarrassing.

I changed into a simple t-shirt and some cotton shorts after brushing my teeth and washing my face. My shoulders felt heavy and I suddenly felt a lot more tired than I had just a few moments ago. I heard Alice and Rosalie both shut their bedroom doors, signaling that everyone was calling tonight an early night.

I climbed into bed, pulling the sheets up tight around my shoulders. I snuggled deeper into the bed, feeling the fatigue of the day finally wearing on me and taking a toll. My eyelids started to feel heavy, my breathing began to slow, and I started to feel sleep overwhelm me.

My eyes seemed like they had closed for only a fraction of a second before I hear a soft tap against my door. I cracked one eye open slightly to check the clock; I had been right about it being less than a few minutes. I held my breath as I waited for the knock again. After a few moments without a repeat, I started to feel like I imagined it.

Until there was another tap, this one a little louder and more firm against the door than the last one.

I sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Alice? Rose? What do you want?" I barked at the closed door.

There wasn't an answer. Instead the door pushed open just enough for a dark figure that was too tall for Alice step into the room. God, Rosalie. I loved the woman to death but I'm sure whatever was bothering her could wait until the morning.

"Rose, babe, I'm so tired. Can't whatever you want to talk about wait until morning?" I yawned.

No response. Just her leaning against the wall next to my door, not moving. I felt my heart pick up slightly. It wasn't like her not to talk about what's bothering her. Sure she had a hard shell but once you cracked it once you were good for life. She never had a problem telling anything to Alice or me before. There must be something major going on…

"Rosalie? What's wrong, love?" I raked my eyes over her dark form hurriedly. Still no answer or movement. Not even a whimper or a sniff. Just long, even breaths that were suddenly unnerving me. "Rosalie Lillian Hale! What's happened sweetheart?"

Suddenly she pushed off the wall and took a stride towards me. I let out a shaky breath, happy she was finally caving in and talking to me. She stopped at the foot of my bed and I noticed she looked taller than usual and her clothes seemed baggier than usual. She took in an unsteady breath before she whispered out to me.

"No. Not Rosalie."

I froze in my bed. The figure let out a smooth velvety chuckle at my reaction, and took another stride towards me. The owner of the voice sat down at the foot of my bed and leaned in towards me.

My heart rate began to quicken widely in my chest as the familiar scent surrounded me. "Edward."

He chuckled softly again. In the small amount of light from the outside I could see his lips pull into a crooked smile. "Yes, me."

His breath blew across my face as he leaned in closer towards me. He placed both hands on either sides of my knees on the bed and crept closer to me still. "Wh-What are you do-doing here?" I managed to squeak out.

"You should really keep your front door locked," he told me quietly, ignoring my question.

I swallowed loudly. "We n-normally do."

He lifted a hand slowly and ran his finger softly from my left ankle up to my knee through the thin sheet. I felt my skin react involuntarily, rising with goose bumps and making me shiver slightly. His index finger traced a lazy circle around my covered knee with his crooked grin still in place. "Anyone could just walk in to your apartment," he continued, not looking at me. "Steal your television, your stereo, your furniture…" he paused and raised his eyes to mine. "Or ravish you in the middle of the night."

Some kind of strangled whimper or moan left my throat. I'm not sure which it was. All I know was the Edward didn't stop tracing his finger on my knee or looking me in the eyes.

"Would you like that, Isabella?" he whispered, his voice low and hungry. "For someone to come in the middle of the night and take you?"

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I was aware of was Edward's smoldering stare and his index finger starting a fire on my knee.

He sighed softly and applied a slight pressure to his finger. "Do you, Isabella?" He suddenly laid his whole palm on my knee and pushed it down to the bed slowly.

I wasn't sure how to answer his question. I had honestly never thought I would ever have a man come into my room at night to take me, but with the way he was staring at me at that moment I wanted nothing more than for him to do it.

I slowly shook my head from side to side. I couldn't find my throat to make words.

"No?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over my knee cap. My breaths were coming in short pants by this point. He _had_ to realize the effect he was having on me. My chest was rising and falling dramatically, and he kept leaning in closer to me.

"N-no," I barely whispered. He took his other hand and gently pushed down my other knee to the bed.

"What would you do if I were to captivate you right now, Isabella? Allure you, and take you? Right here, right now." He ran his hands up from my knees to my thighs tantalizingly slow. My center began to throb almost unbearably at his words.

"Right here? Now?" I squeaked.

Edward crawled to his knees, still inching closer to me, still running his hands up my thighs. "Yes. Right here, right now." He was barely inches away from my face. I swallowed the large lump in my throat, not sure of how to react. I started to move back down to the bed. Edward eyes narrowed slightly but he followed my movements.

"I…" I swallowed again, which was difficult with how dry my throat suddenly was. There was no blood in my brain to think. It was all throbbing between my thighs.

He chuckled again, letting his hands linger on the tops of my thighs while his thumbs rubbed steady strokes against my inner thighs. My legs parted automatically and my heart started to take off like a frantic helicopter blade.

"You're a tease," he whispered, venturing his face closer to mine. My head hit the pillow. He continued to hover over me, and his hands started moving again, up from my thighs, over my hips, on top of my shirt to unabashedly graze my breasts. I moaned at the contact and couldn't help that my back arched to meet his hands.

"T-Tease?"

"Mmm," he murmured. His knees were pushing the inside of my thighs apart and the distance was making the ache between them even more harsh. His hands cupped my breasts and squeezed roughly, running his thumbs over my already hardened nipples. "Tease. Do you have any idea what those little stunts in the kitchen did to me?" he growled at me.

He pinched my nipple roughly between his fingers, making me arch my chest into his hands and moan out loud. He was too good at this. "Answer me." He pinched them again, making me shriek slightly.

"No!" I breathed. He leaned his face closer to mine and I saw that his cheeks looked slightly flushed.

"This," he growled at me, removing his hands from my breasts and grabbing my hips and thrusting himself against me, "is what you do to me." His erection was pushing hard and ready against my heated core. It was painful and pleasurable at the same time. I gasped as he ground himself again into me, nudging my legs farther apart with his legs.

His hands left my hips and slowly started to work the way up my body again. They softly grazed my breasts but didn't linger there. Instead they went all the way over my collar bone until both his hands were firmly planted on either side of my head.

His nose was just inches from mine. He floated above me, just gazing into my eyes as our chests crashed into each other with our heavy panting. "You feel what you do to me," he whispered softly. He leaned down and ran his nose lightly up my neck. He paused at my ear and lightly grazed my lobe with his teeth. "The question now is what do I do to _you?_" He sucked on my skin, occasionally nipping at it with his teeth. I moaned loudly as I tilted my head to the side to give him better access.

Edward planted chaste kisses down my jaw to my chin but not on my lips. He pulled away to look at me again, his eyes flickering from my eyes to my mouth. Putting all his weight on his left hand, he slowly ran his right down the length of my body, stopping at the band of my shorts. "What do I do to you, Isabella?" he hissed.

I bit my lip and watched him through my lust hooded eyes. His hand dipped right below the elastic band as a tease. I bucked my hips up towards him trying to urge him on but instead just felt the vibration from his soft laughter. "Impatient, are we?" His hand started to slide down the shorts off my hips. "God, I can smell you from here..." he took in a deep breath, taking his other hand from the bed and finally ridding me of my shorts.

He ran his index finger up the center of my soaked panties. He shut his eyes tightly and groaned softly. "Fuck," he whimpered slightly, before throwing his full weight on to me and latching his mouth on to mine.

The kiss was not gentle, soft, or even caring. His lips were attacking mine at full force, his tongue not even asking for entrance. He thrust it into my mouth before we began a rhythmic dance between mine and his, stroking each other, nipping at each others lips, moaning into each others mouths.

My legs wrapped around his waist as he lifted me off the bed slightly and brought my closer to him. It felt so much better than I remembered; the alcohol had really dulled the experience. At the moment every one of my nerve endings were on fire. I was about to self combust before the man even really touched me.

He captured my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged on it painfully. I whimpered into his mouth, feeling his lips curl into a smile as he released it and kept up his assault on my lips.

"Edward," I mumbled into our kiss. I tightened my grip on his waist, bringing his dick hard against my wet core.

"Fuck Bella." Finally, his control slipped slightly. Edward had been trying to refrain from calling me Bella ever since he entered my room tonight, I could tell. He tore his lips from mine, focusing on my neck and shoulders. He bit down on my collar bone, earning a loud moan from somewhere in my chest. Edward pulled back from my neck and didn't waste any time. He eagerly pulled his shirt from his chest and unzipped his jeans, leaving them to sag slightly off his hips. He lifted my shirt off my chest so I was bare for all of him to see. I was expecting him to disregard the shirt, but instead he kept it in his hand as he grabbed my wrists and held them above my head.

"What are you—"

"Shhh," he murmured while locking his eyes with mine. He wasn't even looking at what he was doing. I felt him tug my arms up a little more and wrapped my shirt around my wrought iron headboard and tied it to my wrists. He smirked down at my writhing form, obviously enjoying himself.

I tried to tug on my wrists but there was no avail. Somehow, without looking, Edward had managed to completely bind my wrists with just my cotton t-shirt. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't make me wetter.

He dipped his head to my chest, taking a nipple in his mouth as his hand worked the other. It wasn't a caress. It was a need. He was sucking hard, nipping at the raised peak with his teeth harshly until I screamed out in a mix of pleasure and pain. And then he would switch, doing the same thing over to the other.

"Edward!" My hips bucked towards his and I felt his chest vibrate with a growl.

I could see sweat forming above his brow and I could feel sweat beginning to form at the nape of my neck.

He ripped away my cotton panties with one hand and tossed them on the floor with my shorts. He rose from the bed so his pants could drop to his ankles and in one swift movement his boxers were on the floor as well. He came back on the bed with me, completely erect and beautiful, with his hand slowly tracing circles around my swollen clit.

"Mmmm, Isabella." So we're back to Isabella? I wanted him to loose his control again. To call me Bella. To curse. To do something other than this cool, collected, dominating man in front of me. He ran a finger up my slit and then stuck it in his mouth. "So wet for me already… And you taste so sweet. It's divine." He planted a kiss on my belly button. "I want you to come, Isabella. Come on my fingers, in my mouth, on my cock. Can you do that for me?"

Not able to form words I just nodded dumbly.

He smirked at me and kept lowering his head. "Good girl." He pressed a kiss to my clit which made me jump and begin to tremble. He thrust his tongue in and out of my entrance a few times, making me cry out his name, before thrusting two fingers deep inside of me.

"Oh god!" My back arched off the bed and my hands fought for their freedom. I looked at Edward through my lashes, watching his eyes grow impeccably darker by the minute as his fingers worked a steady rhythm with my hips. He kept his head down toward my sex and after a few minutes of just his fingers working on me, he took my clit in his mouth and began to suck hard.

I managed some kind of moan and scream at the same time. My hands were tugging so hard against my restraint, just dying to run through his bronze locks. My back was arching, my hair was tangling against my pillow and my legs were trying to spread even farther for Edward to get more access to me.

When he bit down on my swollen bundle of nerves I came undone. My scream rang through my ears and I was actually surprised at the animalistic sound of it; I didn't recognize it. He kept his fingers and mouth moving at a pace that had gotten me to my daze, helping me ride out my orgasm. Once it was drawing to a close and my hips were beginning to slow, Edward removed his mouth and stilled his fingers inside me, but didn't remove them. He watched me silently through his own lidded eyes, breathing heavy and smirking at me.

"Edward—"

"Shh, Isabella," he whispered. "Am I going to have to gag you? I'm sure you've woken my sister and Rosalie with those noises you were making."

I swallowed audibly. "I—"

"Uh uh." He pressed his thumb to my clit forcefully. His fingers thrust into me and curved forward to hit my G-spot. I bit my lower lip hard, trying to bite back the scream that was building in my chest. He shook his head at me before rubbing his lips against mine. "Actually on second thought, I don't care. If you don't keep making those noises there will be consequences. Do you understand me, Isabella?"

Oh god, did I. A big part of me wanted to find out what those consequences were, but another part of me didn't want to risk it. I didn't want to be left alone, bound to my bed and not able to relieve the tension he put there.

He took my silence as a yes I guess. He smiled, putting his hands on either sides of my hips and pressed the tip of his dick into my wetness. He shivered and I felt the vibration against my clit. I gasped, rocking my hips against him hoping to feel the friction again.

"Isabella," he growled, "I'm going to fuck you hard. It will not be gentle. It will not be sweet. I will take you." He pushed into me a little more, slowly stretching me and filling me. "You will be mine to take." He shoved himself completely inside of me, both of us moaning loudly at the contact. "And you will be only mine to take," he growled once again, removing himself completely before thrusting all the way in again.

He began to set his pace and he stayed true to his words; it was not sweet or gentle. It was him taking me and me letting him. There was something that was completely turning me on about him not giving me a choice to set the pace. The fact that this was raw, this was him just _needing_ me, was sending me over the edge. He was pounding into me, his pubic bone occasionally hitting my clit at the right angle, sending a fresh wave of shivers through me.

He hardly kissed me as he thrust in and out of me; when he did though it was rough and demanding. I wanted my hands free so badly so I could run my hands through his hand or scratch his back because digging my nails into my palms didn't seem like the most pleasurable option.

I began to meet his thrust with my hips, and as I did his grip tightened almost unbearably on my waist. I could feel myself sweating as our bodies were sliding off of each other and I could actually see the sweat on his face: on his brow, his upper lip, his hands as the gripped my body.

"Tell me what you want!" he lifted my hips slightly off the bed and continued to work his magic and penetrate me.

"I want—" I gasped. I couldn't make words. My back arched and a low moan left my throat. "I want—"

"What do you want, Isabella?" his thrusts met every one of his words.

"Make me come! Oh god!" My hips bucked involuntarily towards his.

"Do you want to come, Isabella?" I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. The smug sounding attitude would have normally pissed me off, but at the moment I wasn't dwelling on it. What was pissing me off was that he was in such control over his body as I laid before him a trembling mess.

"Yes!"

He kept pounding into me, muttering incoherent things like "fuck" and "God" and the ever so often "shit."

I'm not sure how long we had been going at this. I didn't dare look at the clock. When I had the ability to keep my eyes open, they were staring at Edward. It seemed like whenever he could keep his eyes open they were doing the same: staring at me.

"Come for me, Isabella. Come with me," he crooned, reaching down and pinching my clit between his fingers. He began to rub my swollen nub in time with his thrusts, sending me over the edge.

My hands were starting to sting from tugging against my shirt so hard. My back practically lifted off the bed and Edward kept his thrust up, bringing me to even greater heights during my climax. After one final thrust, I watched his eyes close and his body stiffen on top of me.

"Fuck, Bella!" He screamed as he spilled himself in side of me.

I finished riding out cloud nine and patiently waited for Edward to come back down to Earth as I caught my breath. He stayed inside me, resting his forehead against mine, catching my lips with his. It began just as roughly as before, but the longer was kissed, the slower and sweeter it became. After a few minutes, he was leaving gentle pecks against my mouth.

He pulled himself from me and I immediately felt the loss. Never had I ever felt so full, so complete, as I did when Edward filled me. I smiled at him, and he leaned down and pressed another kiss to my lips.

"Bella…" his cute crooked smile was back; that domineering smirk long gone. His lips teased mine gently, his tongue silently sweeping across my lower lip actually asking for permission this time.

"Mmm."

"Bella…"

"Mmm…"

"Bella."

I closed my eyes slightly, just enjoying how my name sounded. But it was fading slightly.

"Bella!"

I sat up suddenly, completely taken off guard. I was shaking uncontrollably, sweat soaking my hair and clothes, and an incredible amount of tension between my legs. Rosalie sat at the edge of my bed smirking at me.

"Good dream?" she asked, flipping on the bedside lamp. I blinked a few times trying to get used to the light.

A dream? No way. I've never had a sex dream that was…like that. That vivid, that intense, that…real. Never had I ever actually had an orgasm from a sex dream.

"Jesus, Bells." She grabbed a towel off the floor and wiped my forehead. "Were you running a marathon in your sleep or something?"

I shook my head, trying to stop the shaking. I kept blinking blankly at her. "Why are you in my room?"

She grinned at me. "Be glad Alice is drunk. You were screaming and moaning so loud I thought there was someone in here with you. I actually knocked before I came in." She put the towel in my lap as I kept trying to catch my breath. "How's your dream Edward compared to the real deal?"

I snapped my head at her. She must have read the confused look on my face because she rolled her eyes. "Bells, you talk in your sleep. You were screaming out Edward's name."

I felt my cheeks redden. Rose only laughed at me. She stood, kissed my temple and smoothed out my sweat soaked hair. "Go back to sleep." She turned towards the door, then hesitated. "Bells?"

"Yeah?" Even my voice was shaking.

"If you don't fuck him soon you're going to combust."

Yeah, tell me about it. I nodded and she tossed me a wink then left my room. I laid back onto the bed and groaned softly. Even in my dreams, Edward Cullen left me breathless and was able to do things to my body that no other man could.

Damn him.

***

My first lemon, so be nice while reviewing. I know you guys probably don't like it, but the dream was necessary. It further proves to Bella that she can't get him out of her head so she realizes she likes him faster. It's evil I know, but a necessary evil. :)

a 20 page long chapter. I had only planned on it being about 13-15 pages but it just kept going on and on and on...I actually cut out some non important things.

Come play over at the forum on Twilighted :) You're missing out. I plan on posting a teaser for 5 over there so keep your eyes open for it!

Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry this took so long. I promise I'm going to get faster about updating! Ch 6 is over halfway done so next week sometime :) and how about almost over 100 reviews for last chapter? HOLY CRAP! Love you all, you're amazing. Enjoy!

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

**Bella**

Time passes. Despite the fact that the days drag on for hours, and the weeks seem to go on for miles, it does in fact pass. Slowly, but surely.

It was a week from my twenty-sixth birthday and Alice and Rose were talking non stop about it and it was slowly but surely beginning to drive me insane. The only peace I seemed to get from them was in my closed bedroom, but for the past two weeks my bedroom had seemed like it was mocking me, silently reminding me of a very vivid and recent sex dream.

I blushed in my room getting dressed just at the thought of it. I had successfully avoided Edward for the majority of these past two weeks but occasionally there were times that he would come over with Jasper to hang out at our apartment making it impossible to get away from him.

It had been incredibly awkward that morning after when I had left my bedroom to find Jasper and Edward sitting on my couch. Jasper was enthralled in a conversation with Alice next to him, while Edward was slouched down in the plush leather, fooling around on his phone while tossing an apple absent mindedly in the air.

"Oh, Bella! You're up finally," Alice exclaimed, jumping off the couch.

Edwards's eyes snapped to mine and a mischievous grin broke across his face. His eyes left my face briefly and they roamed over my body, making my thoughts travel in a very different direction than wherever this conversation was heading. My face started to heat and I felt crimson pool into my cheeks.

_Stop, Bella. Gah._

"We were waiting for you to get up!" Alice continued, obviously not paying attention to the heat on my cheeks or the fact I was rocking nervously on my heels. "Do you want to go to brunch with us?"

Edwards's eyes met mine again and they were slightly different—darker, heavier, smoldering. I did my best to control my breathing but it wasn't working out too well. The way he was looking and smirking at me made me think he knew all about my dream with him in it.

"No thank you," I answered without sounding like a teenage boy, "I don't seem to have much of an appetite today." _Hmm, I wonder why._

"Some other time then," Jasper nodded towards me with a smile. I tried to smile in response.

"Okay well I'll see you when I get back!" Alice slipped on her shoes and they were off. Edward lurked behind, watching me carefully. I hesitantly met his gaze again, not quite sure what I was going to get.

"See you later," Edward said to me, passing by me. Just as I let out a sigh of relief, he paused and turned back to me. "I'll call you tomorrow, Isabella," he smirked at me.

I think my insides had turned to mush at that moment. So needless to say, the past two weeks I have been trying my absolute hardest to ignore and avoid the man.

I tugged the shirt over my head and slipped on my sneakers. Today was a day I barely allowed myself: a day of nothing.

I had already submitted my article for Sunday's paper and I was up to date on all my busy work, the apartment was squeaky clean, and neither Alice nor Rosalie had dragged me shopping.

I had absolutely nothing to do.

And I thrived in it. I usually spent these days wandering around the apartment or in bed, but today I decided to break tradition and venture the streets of a bustling Thursday afternoon. I pulled a light jacket over my blouse and peered in the mirror.

I bit my lip as I fidgeted with my hair, trying to do _something_ with it. It looked wild; hanging past my shoulder blades but curly in different directions in some parts and perfectly straight in others. I let out a frustrated sigh, pulling my hair back into a low pony tail and decided that this was the best I could do.

I slung my purse over my shoulder and left my room. Rosalie sat on the couch flipping through channels with a magazine sprawled across her lap. She glanced over at me as I exited, before turning her gaze back to the television.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I don't know," I smiled as I answered.

Rose raised an eyebrow at me in question. "You don't know." She let out a laugh and shook her head.

"No work today?" I asked, reaching down to retie one of my shoes.

"Nope," she answered, flipping another channel. "I needed a day off." She paused while watching me. "Want company?"

I rocked back on my heels for a second. "As long as you swear not to drag me shopping, yes."

"Deal." She hopped off the couch, turning off the television as she left.

Rosalie slipped on some sandals and we left, locking the apartment door on our way out. We didn't really speak to each other until we left our apartment building and were on the actual street.

"Left or right?" Rose inquired.

I glanced in both directions. "What are you feeling like?" I asked back, not sure myself.

"Right. You?"

"Left."

She rolled her eyes at me and pulled a penny out of her bag. "Call it," she said as she flipped the coin up in the air.

"Heads."

She caught the coin in her palm and flipped it up on the back of her other hand. She glanced down at it and her face broke into a grin. "Tails, I win. Let's go right," she sang as she looped her arm through mine and started making her way down the street.

I let her drag me block after block, both of us not really talking about anything important. We chatted about nonsense, even the weather coming up at some point.

"So someone is getting old this time next week," Rosalie announced, making a few heads turn in our direction.

"Shh," I hissed at her, tugging on her arm harshly. "Shut it."

She grinned and shook her head. "My best friend is turning twenty six. It's a celebration. You shut it."

I rolled my eyes at her and laughed. "You and Alice are acting like this is a huge deal."

"It is. Stop being such a spoiled sport. If you keep this up I'm going to spike your drinks at your birthday dinner so you might actually _enjoy_ the party."

"You wouldn't."

She raised an eyebrow at me and smiled mischievously. "Would I?"

I groaned and dropped my arm from hers. "You would," I told her, bumping my shoulder with hers.

"Thank you," she piped, and I could practically hear smugness dripping from her voice.

We walked past local deli when I heard Rosalie's stomach growl. I checked my watch; two-thirty. I glanced up at her as she was eyeing the sign of the deli like a piece of meat. "Hungry?" I asked.

"Famished," she replied.

"Me too," I stated, looking back at the deli myself.

"Well then, come on," she gripped my hand and started tugging me back towards the restaurant. "I could so go for a sub right now—" she stopped in front of me as she looked into the front window. She turned on her heel to face me. "On second thought," she started, already pushing me away from the deli, "I'm in the mood for something else."

"Rose, the place is right here, and you just said you wanted a sub—"

"I changed my mind."

"What do you want now?"

I caught the glance she threw over her shoulder at the deli. "Anything but that."

I sighed and shrugged, letting her push and pull me away even though my stomach was growling in protest. "Fine, but I need food soon, so don't be picky."

"Mmm," she mumbled, looking behind her.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, trying to turn.

"Come on, Bells." She put her arm around my shoulders to keep me firmly facing the sidewalk in front of me.

"Rosalie—" I started, but I got cut off.

"Bella?"

I froze in my tracks, feeling my heart drop down to my stomach and hell freeze over. Rosalie dropped her hold on my shoulders and mumbled out a low, "Shit," both of us knowing exactly who was standing behind us at this moment. I turned slowly, thinking if I turned too quickly I'd find that he wasn't really there.

But he was, in all of his six foot four glory, with his skin even darker from what I presumed was his summer tan and his thick black hair falling in front of his eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a smile.

"Jake," I managed to croak out.

His face broke out into a smile, perfect rows of white teeth, and I felt a stab at my heart. I looked away quickly deciding it was safer to look at his shoulder instead of his eyes or smile.

"I thought that was you!" He took a step forward and his arms started to outstretch but he stopped himself. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, obviously nervous and now uncomfortable. Rosalie slipped her hand into mine and intertwined our fingers. His eyes narrowed at it slightly before he forced his gaze to her.

"Rosalie," he stated without emotion; just cold and empty.

"Jacob," she said just as coldly, venom dripping from her voice. The sound of it nearly made me wince.

It didn't faze Jake though. He just cocked his head to the right and said, "I see the ice caps haven't melted yet."

She sneered at him, but he didn't catch it. Instead his gaze was focused on me again. Feeling the burden of his eyes on me made me feel heavy and scrutinized. I shifted from foot to foot nervously, waiting for him to say something.

"You look…great," he commented, finally breaking the silence but not the tension.

"Thank you," I said softly, feeling myself blush slightly as I saw his eyes wander down my body. "You do to." I felt the need to return the compliment.

"Thanks!" He smiled again and I felt my heart swoon—I had missed that smile. So much more than I had thought I did.

I bit my lip and nodded, not sure of how to take this from here. We must have looked like idiots to bystanders, Rosalie and I holding hands while we stood about four feet away from Jacob, who was just staring at us blankly.

"How have you been?" he asked, sticking his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans.

I tilted my head, watching the same habit that Edward does practiced by the man in front of me. The action was as different as the two men were. I shook my head slightly, tossing out the thought.

"I've been fine," I answered honestly. Rosalie squeezed my hand sharply so I added, "Better than fine, great actually." I saw her smile from the corner of my eye and I somehow managed to refrain from rolling my eyes at her. "How about yourself?"

"I've been great too," he answered coolly, pushing back some of the hair that was in his face. I felt my hand twitch, wanting to do it for him out of habit, but I stopped it. I hadn't seen his face in almost a year and the time apart suddenly felt twice as long.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked softly, his face looking slightly torn. I'm sure he wanted to know but at the same time he didn't.

"Uh—Well, I—" I stammered, not sure how to answer it. _No, you idiot, you're not. But do you want to admit that to Jacob? No. _"I—"

"That's none of your fucking business," Rosalie said smoothly, picking at her hair and examining the split ends.

Jacob smirked and nodded his head. "So I'm assuming that's a no," he laughed. I swear I saw relief wash over his face.

My fists clenched at my sides and red clouded my vision. I opened my mouth to speak but Rosalie beat me to it. "No, that means it's none of your business, Black. You know what they say when you assume. Don't put your nose in places where you don't belong—you might find things you don't like."

Jacob sneered at Rose, but was suddenly jerked back by a large dark hand on his shoulder.

"Dude, let's go," someone said beside him. I looked up at the newest addition to our situation, seeing Embry's face forcing a smile at me. "Hey Bella," he muttered, tugging on Jacob's shoulder. "Come on, Jake."

Jake took a step backwards still watching me. "We should get together, Bells." Rosalie's grip tightened on my hand as he called me by my nickname. "Catch up and whatnot," he added, taking another step backwards. "I'll call you, alright? It was great seeing you," was the last he managed to get out before Embry yanked him to turn around and walk in the opposite direction from us.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding. Rosalie glanced at me and forced a small smile. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, but didn't feel like it. Seeing Jacob had ripped open the wound I had so carefully sewn without a care. My chest suddenly felt ten pounds heavier.

Sensing my thoughts, Rosalie tugged on my hand and shook her head. "I know…" she draped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "I don't know why you were ever with him. He's disgusting," she added, wrinkling her nose for effect.

I laughed and shook my head. "He's not that bad…"

She looked at me, appalled. "Sweetie, you must have not been standing close enough to him to smell the stench."

I bit my lip and smiled at her, gracious that she was making an effort to make me feel better. She smiled too and kissed the side of my head. "Okay for real now, I'm starving."

"There's a sports bar at the next block," I told her.

"Well what are we waiting for?"

Lunch wasn't nearly as eventful as the day had been earlier. In fact, the mid-afternoon lull seemed to overcome Rosalie and me, making us both drowsy and slightly grumpy.

We exited the restaurant and headed back the way we came. We took our time lingering in front of store windows, street corners, basking in the nice weather, knowing that we'd find our way back to our apartment eventually.

"Shit!" Rose exclaimed, halting her stride. I turned to look at her, slightly annoyed.

"What?"

"I left my cell phone at the restaurant," she told me, biting her lip.

"Oh! Okay, let's go get it." I started to walk back in our previous direction, but she tugged on my arm.

"No, it's fine. We're already so close to the apartment. I'll run back and get it and see you at home, okay?"

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, holding her face almost completely emotionless but I noticed the twitch—she was trying not to smile. "Positive. See you at home?"

I nodded slowly and told her, "See you at home," before she turned on her heel and walked in the opposite direction. I mulled her behavior over in my head because I was curious. More than curious. Skeptical, actually. Rosalie's life was in that Blackberry; she would have flipped out much more than that if she had left it somewhere. But that's saying that she would ever actually be careless enough to have _forgotten_ it somewhere.

As I continued my pondering down the street, I hardly noticed someone yelling out my name to get my attention.

"Bella! Wait up!"

I turned, but I already knew who it was. A mop of messy copper hair was running towards me in faded jeans, a black t-shirt and flip flops. I felt my chest tighten slightly at the sight of Edward with a layer of thin sweat on his brow from the sprint down the street.

"Hey stranger," he drawled as he grew closer. He was slightly out of breath and his chest was heaving towards me, which was kind of hypnotizing. "Long time, no see."

"Yeah, sorry," I mumbled, not really sure of what to say. _You can't avoid him forever, moron._ I forced a smile up at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," he started, still catching his breath, "Emmett and I were doing some errands and he got a text from Rosalie saying the both of you were out and about today and we should meet up." He took in another deep breath. "We just saw Rose just a few blocks down and she said that you were here and about to go home and since I hadn't seen you in a while I figured…" he trailed off, his green eyes searching across my face for something.

My chest swelled. The smile I had plastered on my face was slowly more genuine by the second as I bit my lower lip. "It's nice to see you," I told him.

His bright crooked smile welcomed me. "It's nice to see you too." He glanced around at our surroundings. "So were you heading back to your apartment?"

"Yeah." He was quiet for a minute, probably trying to find something to say to make me stay out longer. It was pointless, seeing how I didn't have anymore errands and I had already eaten less than an hour ago. But since there wasn't any reason for me to stay out, there surely wasn't any reason that he couldn't come in…

"Would you like to come with me?" I blurted out. His eyebrows shot towards his hairline in surprise. Okay, so he wasn't expecting me to invite him into my apartment. But we're friends, and friends do that, right? I suddenly felt nervous and blush heat my cheeks. "I mean just to hang out or something? We can watch a movie or listen to music or just hang out, I don't care. I just—" I cut myself off by shaking my head. _Stop with the word vomit, Swan._

"I'd love to," he said, trying not to laugh.

"Okay," I said dumbly. As we turned to walk in the right direction, I felt my stomach turn into huge knots. The idea of having a man in my apartment not to have sex wasn't making me anxious—the thought of having _Edward_ in my apartment, to have sex or not to have sex, was making me a bundle of nerves.

I twisted my hands in font of me as we walked. We were in silence for about half a block until we reached a crosswalk.

"Have you ever wandered around downtown just to watch people?" he asked.

I blinked a few times before shrugging my shoulders. "No." I glanced around at all the people bustling around us like we weren't even there.

"It's fun," he commented. "Something that Jasper and I did our freshmen year at UW," he started, leaning against the street post. "We would wander out of our dorm rooms to watch people, mainly at night, since we were too young to actually enjoy the nightlife. Sometimes in New York if I had nothing to do I'd go sit outside at a coffee shop and watch the bystanders or I'd get on the Subway and just ride it for a few hours."

"That was entertainment to you?"

He nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. "Most people are easy to read. They're interesting, especially if you get creative with their stories," he nodded towards a man walking towards us. He was probably in his late thirties; he was in a suit and tie, with a brief case tucked away under his left arm. "That man," Edward began, "would appear like any other business man to anyone who didn't bother to give him a second glance."

I leaned against the other side of the pole next to Edward. "It would appear so," I agreed.

"But the question is can you see what others do choose not to?"

"You're going all philosophical on my ass, Cullen."

He laughed softly. "Sorry, I couldn't resist." He cleared his throat and continued, "See the way his back is hunched?" I nodded. "It shows that he's a workaholic, and that he probably despises what he does. See the lines on his forehead and the bags under his eyes? He's worrying about something. Maybe his wife is thinking about leaving him or maybe he's thinking of leaving his wife," he explained. Edward leaned his head closer to mine as the man passed by us.

"Do you see how his right hand twitches every so often as someone passes by him too closely?" he asked me.

I watched the man in fascination as his right hand shifted quickly and he clenched and unclenched his fingers. "Yeah…"

"He's probably defensive," Edward explained, "ready to go off on someone as soon as they challenge him in any way."

"And where did you get all this information, oh noble one?"

Edward grinned, but shrugged at me. He glanced down sidewalk the way we came and nudged my shoulder. "See the woman in the red sundress?"

I glanced at her. She was stunning, a beautiful redhead whose hair could be compared to flames, in wedge sandals and that deep crimson sundress. I shifted my gaze down to the ground for a second before muttering a small, "Yes," annoyed that he was checking women out in front of me.

"She's beautiful, right?"

I nodded, feeling my cheeks turn the color of her dress.

"Look at her again. See anything?"

I looked up, letting out a sigh. The woman was gorgeous beyond words, someone that would give Rosalie some serious run for her money. Her skin was deeply tanned from the summer weather and her eyes were a vibrant green that could almost be compared to Edward's eyes.

"She has green eyes," I said dryly.

Edward shook his head. "Yeah, but look past that. See the way she glances at everyone who passes her?" I didn't respond, but I guess Edward took that as a sign that I was on the same page as him. "She most likely has low self esteem. She probably wants to see if anyone is noticing her, hence the red sundress. Red is said to be the boldest color out there. She wants to be noticed," he said, looking down as she past. He glanced back up at her back. "She probably has a boyfriend who doesn't treat her properly, or she might have not had enough attention from her parents when she was younger."

I know I should have been looking at the girl he was talking about, but I was enthralled with the words that were leaving his mouth. His brow was smoothed out, which made me believe he had an easy day, and his lips were pulled up into a smile.

"I didn't know you were so perceptive," I accused him.

He laughed without meeting my gaze still. He was watching people pass us, scanning his eyes over them just as if he was reading them straight from a page. "I'm just good a reading people." He stuck his hands in the front of his pockets. "Most people are like open books, but I've found that you aren't so easy."

"Me?"

"Yes, you," he finally met my eyes. They were deep and dark, making my heart skip a beat. "I always try to figure out what you'll say or what you mean, but it's always something that completely takes me off guard."

"Is that bad?"

He shook his head. "No, quite on the contrary actually. I've found that you keep me on the edge of my seat."

I had to look away first. His eyes were so intense at that moment that I had to look away to the people who were passing us trying to get home. "So what would people say about us?"

"Us?" he asked, confused.

"Yes," I told him. I shifted so I was facing him. "What would someone say about us if they saw us standing here, in the middle of the street, leaning on the street post?"

Edward narrowed his eyes slightly, before looking up at the street. People were noticing us just standing there, but it seemed as if we were never getting a second glance. He rubbed his chin and turned back to me.

"They'd probably first notice our body language," he started. "The way we're leaning towards each other, how we're close but not too close." He leaned in closer slightly. "They might see the way we keep looking at each other," his eyes were suddenly darkening with his words and I felt my heart begin to hyperventilate. "Or the way we keep touching," he reached out to stroke my cheek as if to prove a point.

I felt my insides turn to mush as his hand dropped from my cheek down to my neck. His fingers danced over my collar bone, down my shoulder, and finally to my hand, as he pulled his head back from mine.

"Come on," he tugged on my hand. "It's going to be dark soon."

And with that, he pulled me out of my Edward induced haze and we began to walk to my apartment.

Our conversations were light on the way home, as if he was trying to balance out the conversation earlier. It wasn't working, but it was nice to just chat about nothing in particular. I found out his view on politics, his ideas about adoption, and that he was a boy scout growing up.

"Alice never lets me live it down," he admitted in the elevator. He fumbled with his fingers in front of him. "She teases me to no end but I think it's kind of useful that I know how to survive in the wilderness for a month."

"It is," I tried to not laugh. I really did, but I couldn't hold it. As soon as it left my lips, Edward's face turned into a scowl.

"Not you too," he groaned.

We stepped off the elevator and walked over to the door. "I-I'm sorry," I gasped. "It's really not funny—that's not what I'm l-laughing at—" I had to hold on to my door knob. I took in a deep breath to calm myself. Just as I felt I was fine, I looked at him. His face was contorted into the most attractive pout I'd ever witnessed and that sent a fresh wave of giggles over me.

"Sorry," I said again, opening the door for us. Edward stepped through behind me, closing and locking the door behind him. "So…"

It did occur to me that Edward had been in the apartment several times before this moment, but not when he was invited by me, and when it was just him and I alone. The knot in my stomach tightened and I tried to fight the butterflies forming in my stomach.

"So," he repeated, smiling.

"Would you like something to drink?" It felt like I was so out of practice of having men over at my apartment.

He shook his head. "No thank you," he said as he walked past me. He stopped at the door next to the large window at the far end of the apartment. "Is this your room?"

I nodded, because suddenly my throat was too dry to speak.

Edward opened the door and I silently was thankful that I had a sixth sense about straightening up my room and making my bed. I followed him into the room, pausing in the door frame as he walked right in, ignoring the main overhead light and flicking on the lamp at my bedside table.

He looked around my room, noticing the books on my small bookshelf or the pictures in the frames. He picked up a picture of my dad and me, and ran his hand over the glass. "Is this your dad?"

I left my place at in the door way to come to his side. I smiled at the picture. "Yeah," I murmured. It was a picture of when I was six; my two front teeth were missing, Charlie was carrying me on his shoulder as I held up a small fish from my fishing pole. "It was my sixth birthday and my dad had taken me fishing. It was the first fish I had ever caught," I laughed.

Edward looked up from the picture at me and smiled warmly. "You were cute," he noted.

"Ten years ago next week," I muttered.

"Next week?" he blinked blankly at me for a second. "Your birthday is next week."

"Yes…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he snapped.

I shrugged. _I was too busy avoiding you because you gave me the best orgasm of my life in my dream._ "It didn't come up," I said coolly.

"Well, its fine, it just means I need to work on your gift—"

"No! No gifts."

"Bella—"

"No, please, Edward. No gifts. I hate people spending money on me."

He suddenly grinned wickedly at me. "Good thing I didn't plan on spending any."

I eyed him carefully. "You aren't spending any money on me?"

He crossed his heart with his finger. "Not a dime."

"Okay..." I sat down in the chair at my desk and turned to face him.

Edward picked up a framed picture of Alice, Rosalie, and I at our UW graduation. He frowned instantly, worry lines creasing his forehead. "I couldn't come to this," he told me without looking at me. "It made me upset that I couldn't see my baby sister graduate college." He shook his head and made to put the picture back but the backing came loose and it fell to the floor in with a thud.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Don't be, I need to get a new backing for that frame."

Edward bent to pick it up when he suddenly picked up a forgotten photo that had been stuck behind the picture of Alice, Rosalie and me. I gritted my teeth when I saw what the picture was. Of all the pictures…of all the people…

"Who's this?" he asked, straightening his back. He held the frame and backing in his left hand while he was holding the offensive photo in his right.

"Who, that?" I asked nervously. Edward tossed me a sarcastic eye roll from over his shoulder and I fidgeted in my seat. "Jacob Black," I said softly.

He came to the edge of the bed closest to me and sat down, still looking at the picture. "Ex-boyfriend?" he asked without looking up.

"Um…" I cracked my knuckles, trying to stall. This was not something I wanted to get in with Edward. "Ex-fiancé, actually."

That caused him to look up. Edward's eyes snapped to mine, one of his perfect brows arching higher than the other. "Fiancé?"

I wish I could read the emotions that were spreading across his face and his eyes. Disbelief? Anger? Resentment? Confusion? I had no clue and no idea what to make of them if I even could decipher them.

"Yeah," I answered finally.

Edward looked back down at the picture and narrowed his eyes slightly. "This picture looks pretty recent."

"We broke up a little less than a year ago." I wasn't sure what to make of his statement. From any other guy I might have interpreted it as '_I want to know if he's competition still'_, but with Edward it could just be curiosity driving the thoughts.

He nodded, still staring at the picture. "How long were you together?"

"Over a year." I watched his face for any sign of change, but it was still stone cold and emotionless as he stared at the smiling faces of Jacob and I. "We were engaged for about three months."

Edward was quiet for a minute, running his fingers along the edges of the picture as if it would pop to life and show him whatever he was looking for. "Why'd you break up?" he inquired, hesitantly meeting my gaze.

The look in his eyes took me off guard. Sadness? Hurt? Whatever it was, it made my chest tighten painfully and made breathing hard. I wanted to tell him that it was nothing anymore, that it hadn't been anything for a while now. I opened my mouth to speak, but the revelation that I wanted him to know I was eligible made me weak at the knees.

"We…" I started finally, "we weren't the same people anymore." I stood from my chair and went next to him on the bed. "I couldn't justify it in my mind to marry someone I hardly knew anymore."

I took the photo out of his hands and looked at it. It had been a few days after Jake had proposed to me, and Alice had snapped the picture of us in the park. I had jumped on his back and he was carrying me around, yelling on the top of his lungs "This woman is marrying me!" to anyone who would hear him. My heart tugged at the memory but I shoved it away, knowing that the Jake in the picture was different from the Jake today.

"Is this the "Wolverine" person you wrote about?"

I nodded.

"So…you just grew apart, then."

"I guess so." I flipped the picture around in my hands.

"Sometimes relationships just end," Edward said thoughtfully. His gaze was on me now and I felt my cheeks redden slightly. "Despite how much love was there in the beginning, sometimes people just simply run out of it in the end."

I forced a smile and rubbed his shoulder against mine. "You're going all philosophical again."

He grinned widely at me. "My apologies." I took the photo, folded it down the center and tossed it in the trash can next to the desk. He glanced around my room again and smiled. "Nice room." He leaned back on his elbows and watched me return to his side.

Seeing Edward on my bed brought memories of that dream to flash before my eyes. I shook my head slightly and lay on the bed next to him, both of our feet hanging off the edge.

"Tell me about your parents," he suggested.

I spilled everything that I've ever learned about Charlie or Renee to him. I'm not entirely sure why, but I wanted him to know. I couldn't explain it, but I felt as if he knew every detail of Renee's personality then he would know a fraction more of me and that thought sent warmth down my spine.

I told him how I grew up with Renee in Phoenix, but once Renee married Phil I moved back up to Charlie. I explained that my freshmen year at UW Charlie had gotten married to Sue. I told him how I got Charlie's stubbornness and how after years of taking care of Renee had given me the quality that Alice refers to as "Mama Bear Bella". I told him about my tragedy of a first date when I was sixteen and I had ended up in the emergency room.

Edward had gotten a good laugh out of that one.

"I've taken that as a sign to have high expectations."

He couldn't seem to stop laughing at my expense. "I'm serious!" I pushed his shoulder with the heel of my hand. "The only thing I'm picky about is men. I'll eat, drink, or even wear whatever you put out in front of me."

"Explain." Edward propped up on an elbow on his side to face me.

"Alright," I said, mimicking his actions. I faced him and felt heat flow through my body. "For starters, I hate roses. I won't go out with a guy that brings me roses."

"That's a little extreme. Why not?" he asked, his eyes bright and curious.

"To me roses are generic," I explained. "If a guy brings me roses, I'm taking it as he sees me as generic, and because it's a rose, I'm supposed to automatically love it. I'd much rather have daisies or sunflowers or something. Something that shows he put a little thought into what _I _would want, not just what a _girl_ would want."

Edward nodded, urging me to continue.

"I don't like conventional first dates, either." I ran a hand through my hair nervously, fighting off the butterflies that were threatening to fly up my throat. "I'd rather go to the beach and do something there or go put putting or something than just a plain dinner and a movie. That's fine for later in the relationship, but in the beginning you have to capture my attention quick, otherwise I won't go on many more dates."

"How many dates do you usually give these poor souls?" he asked. I could tell from the twitch in the corner of his lip he was fighting a smile.

"Three usually," I answered truthfully.

"Three strikes your out," he muttered. I opened my mouth to contradict him but he continued. "What else?"

I continued my rant even though I wasn't entirely sure why Edward was so interested. He was hanging on my every word as if they were the last thing he'd ever hear in his lifetime. When I was finished making a fool out of myself, he rubbed his chin and nodded.

The subject suddenly turned tables from me to him. "I'm picky too, I guess." He went on explaining that the girl has to above everything, be someone he can hold a conversation with. Someone who could make him laugh, smile, and make him look forward to everyday with them.

It didn't escape me the way my chest would tighten whenever he spoke of a quality I had.

I'm not sure how long we were lying on my bed talking. It could have been hours but it felt like minutes. I didn't remember the last time I had actually had a _real _conversation with a guy—the kind that you talk all day or all night, forgetting the rest of the world just so you can stay and talk with them. Edward and I were in some sort of bubble at this moment and there was no where I'd rather be.

He told me he was allergic to peanuts and about his first kiss. I told him about the first time I broke my leg and my bloody nose at prom. He went into a laughing fit when he found out about how I had broken my wrist during a table tennis tournament. He revealed that his only broken bone ever was from when he fell off a tree trying to sneak out of his house when he was fourteen and that his childhood fantasy was about slaying dragons and rescuing damsels in distress.

"All kids want to feel like a hero," Edward explained. "So the idea of a damsel in distress is appealing. Not the damsel part, the distress part." He shook his head, flinging bronze locks into his eyes. I felt my hand twitch slightly, wanting to reach out and brush them out of his eyes. "When I was six the furthest thing from my mind was girls. I just wanted to feel important, so I went around trying to capture Alice just so I could rescue her later on."

"That's terrible!"

"I was six, cut me some slack," he commented. "I didn't know any better. And besides, she loved it."

"She was four."

"That's beside the point."

And then he brought up Jasper and Alice's relationship. He told me how he wasn't sure how he was supposed to do handle the situation. He confessed that Jasper had asked him permission, and that he was so close to say no, especially since Emmett had already given him the green light. I had asked him why he said yes and he shrugged and responded, "I don't ever want to be the reason she couldn't be happy." He didn't know it, but he nearly broke my heart right then and there.

"I have a theory," I managed to croak out.

"About what?"

"I have a theory," I repeated, ignoring him. "That the more intimate and important the emotion, the fewer words we need to express them."

Edward held up his hands in defeat. "Elaborate please."

"Well, for dating, the popular 'I care for you' is four words. 'I love you', is three words. And 'marry me', is just a mere two words."

He wasn't laughing anymore. In fact there wasn't a hint of amusement on his face as he returned my stare unabashedly. "And just one word?"

If looks could ignite someone into flames, I would be a walking inferno. "'Goodbye'," I somehow got out. My throat was incredibly dry and my mind was hazy. How I was able to even form a coherent thought at the moment was beyond me.

We were both quiet for a minute. I'm not sure if it was because neither of us knew what to say or if it was the fact that he disagreed with me but it felt like ages since we had spoken. I looked away at my comforter, opting to pick at a loose thread instead of meeting his heated gaze. Finally after what seemed like hours, Edward tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and let out a soft chuckle.

"Look whose being a philosophical now, Swan."

I rolled my eyes at him and lay on my back. I ran a hand through my hair, glad that it brought some sort of distraction in the sudden tension in the room around us. _Good job, Bella._ I felt him catch my wrist in midair and hold it steady in place. Edward's eyes were dark and intense, his breathing wasn't labored, but it was slightly heavy, and he wasn't smiling.

"Bella," he whispered. His voice was rough and gritty and the sound of it sent shivers down to my toes. "I—I don't know what I'm doing," he admitted. He looked away from my eyes for a moment, while shaking his head.

He was leaning towards me slowly, sending my heart into frenzy. "I don't know what I'm doing either," I managed to whisper out, but I wasn't entirely sure he heard me.

He laughed softly, still leaning towards me. He released my wrist and brought his hand to my hip, using his index finger to gently trace circles on the exposed skin. I responded immediately, my breath coming faster and my flesh breaking into goose bumps. Suddenly he grabbed my hip and slid me closer to him on the bed so I was practically underneath him as he hovered over me.

"Bella…" he said again, his voice was husky and dangerously low. His eyes were making a route around my face; my eyes, my lips, and back again. He slowly lowered his head to mine.

I held my breath, waiting for the impact of his lips.

Edward paused about half an inch before our lips were about to touch, maybe to prolong the tension, or maybe he hesitated, I couldn't be sure. I just know that he waited a moment too long, missing out on crashing his lips to mine. He brushed his nose against mine and let out a breath he had been holding and just as he was about to go the rest of the ten percent, the front door slammed shut, effectively taking us both out of our bubble.

"Hello?" Alice called from the kitchen.

Edward rolled off of me, groaning lightly, putting two of his own fistfuls into his hair. I sat up and smoothed my shirt and hair out before calling to her. "In here."

"Oh, Bells, you'll never believe the day I've had. Work was awful. I had to actually buy this hideous dress for a client that I was personally offended to buy! I felt so strongly about it I actually told the cashier it wasn't mine!" she called from the kitchen. "It was terrible! And to top it off, while I was picking it up, I had someone comment on what the color would do for my complexion. Can you believe it? The nerve of that woman! Does it look like I don't know what colors are good for my complexion? I'm dressed in Couture, damnit!" She pushed my door open the rest of the way and continued ranting. "I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and my stiletto shoved very far you know—" she paused as she saw Edward laying on my bed with his hands behind his head.

She didn't need to say anything. Her facial expression said everything.

"Hey Al," Edward murmured, smiling up at his sister, as if it was no big deal to be in her best friends bedroom.

"Hi," she arched an eyebrow at me, asking me a silent question. I'm not totally sure if he caught on to it.

"I ran into Edward while I was out earlier," I answered her gaze.

"We were talking," Edward explained, still laying down, as he reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone. "I was just telling her about how I used to kidnap you when I was younger just to rescue you." Apparently he did.

Alice's face broke out into a smile. "I bet he didn't mention I only agreed to do that because he participated in my tea parties, did he?"

"No, he didn't." I felt the corner of my mouth twitch as I tried not to smile at the mental image of a younger Edward having tea parties with Alice.

Edward's cheeks flushed slightly, but he shook his head nonchalantly. "I was six," he huffed. "And Emmett was there too."

"Well I'm glad you're here anyway," Alice went on. "I just called Jasper and he's on his way over here. I couldn't get a hold of Rose or Emmett though. Can you try calling them? See if one of them would mind picking up dinner or something? If not we can order out…" she trailed off, already walking back into the kitchen.

Edward and I looked at each other as she left. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly with an audible snap. Forcing a small smile at me, he rose off my bed and started out the door towards the kitchen. When he didn't hear me behind him he turned his heated gaze at me. "Coming?"

His voice was still too low and husky for me not to feel like there was an innuendo of some type in his words.

"In a minute," I said wryly. "I'm going to call Rose." No, I needed to fan myself and I would look like a moron if I did it while he was still in the room. _You have so much game, Bella—_cue inward eye roll.

Edward nodded and left, leaving me to my own devices. I heard him and Alice talking happily in the kitchen. I fell back onto my bed and felt all the air leave my lungs in one big sigh. Frustrated, I fished out my cell phone.

I scrolled down my contacts until I found Rosalie's name. I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear, hearing it ring twice before a very breathless Rosalie answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?"

There was a pause, followed by a rustling in the background. "Just running a few errands still. Why? What's up?"

I made a mental note to ask her about that later.

I told her to pick up some food for the six of us on her way home and hung up the phone. During the call Jasper must have shown up because he was now sitting with Edward at a barstool while Alice at across from them, perched on the counter.

Less than thirty minutes later, Rosalie and Emmett showed up at the same time, both holding bags of food. After we all filled our plates, Rose came up behind me and wrapper her arms around my waist.

"How was the rest of your day?" she asked innocently.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You planned that."

She grinned mischievously at me. "Why, what are you talking about, my dear best friend?" I punched her arm, causing her to laugh. "Okay sue me. I saw an opportunity and I took it. You can thank me later."

I didn't say anything to her. Instead I cast a sly glance in Edward's direction, only to find that he was staring straight at me. He didn't avert his eyes right away; in fact, he offered me a knowing smirk before shifting his attention back to Jasper.

Edward told Alice and Rosalie about some mischief he, Jasper, and Emmett had gotten into their freshmen year. He elaborated with his hands out in front of him and his face was wearing one of the biggest smiles I had seen yet on him.

I had to admit, his every word captivated me. Not just the words he was currently speaking, but the words he had said all afternoon. His stories, his fears, his ideas, even his smile and his eyes; all had taken me prisoner and refused to set me free. But I had to admit, I _enjoyed _it. I was basking in everything that was Edward, indulging myself in every inch of him.

His eyes met mine again for just a fraction of a second, and that's when I knew.

That small exchange was like a blazing fire in the dead of winter. It was warm. It was comforting. It was exhilarating. It was undeniable. It made my heart race, my pulse throb, and my mind fog.

As much as I had tried to prevent it from happening, it happened. Looking back, I was naive to believe that I could stop it from forming. It was inevitable, and I was just refusing to accept it then. Now, I was willing to accept it and embrace it. It was bigger than anything I had ever encountered. It was colossal, monumental, extensive, even. The revelation hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to stop myself from groaning out loud.

I _liked_ Edward Cullen.

His eyes flickered to me for just a second, making my heart rate fly through the roof in return. I cast a glance at Rosalie who was watching me with 'smug' written across her features. She must have known from my expression, and that must have been her plan all along. She just smiled at me innocently as I gaped at her, mulling the thought over and over again in my mind.

Now, instead of just wanting to rip his clothes off, I actually wanted to get to know him more, too.

I tried not to smile, because deep in my gut I had a feeling that this, whatever _this _was, wouldn't end well.

Please, please, please don't kill me for ending it like that. It has to be that way. I don't really like this chapter but it's necessary. Chapter 6 will be so much better, I promise.

If your perceptive you might pick up on some things in this chapter…I will explain later. Or on the twilighted forum, so go check it out ;)

What do you guys think of an EPOV? I've been getting a lot of PM's about it, and I'm curious to see what you guys think.

Review!


	6. Chapter 6

**So I'm not doing an EPOV for this story. Although it got **_**a lot**_** of interest, I just feel like Sinful is Bella's story. I might do the epilogue in epov, but for now it's strictly Bella. **

**Even though I may not reply to all your reviews, I read every single one of them and they make my freaking day. **

**Sorry it took so long...I seem to have problems with deadlines...eek! Enjoy ch 6...Bella's birthday...DUN DUN DUN!**

**I own an iPod, a cell phone, & a pair of green sneakers. I don't own Twilight or the characters. I just make them do crazy, fun, and sexual things. **

*

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

**Bella**

_On my sixth birthday, I asked my mother why I was bothering with all of things I was doing that seemed pointless at the time. She replied that I was preparing. Preparing for what? _Everything_. __For the majority of our lives we are spent preparing. Preparing for school, jobs, relationships, and life in general. Here's something I've learned from my now twenty-six years of preparing: _You are **never** prepared.

_We can't ever be prepared for the people who walk into or out of our lives, either. Whether they knock politely or bust the front door down, they enter._

_A woman found me in the supermarket a week ago and asked me sincerely, "Why do relationships end?" I remember internally banging my head against the box of cereal I was holding because that was not the question I had been expecting. I had been expecting something along the lines of, "How do you achieve multiple orgasms?"_

_I remember pausing to take in the woman's question. She was young, perhaps as young as I am, and heart broken; she wore the same expression I had last year. And at the time I had no answer for her. I had shaken my head, explaining that I couldn't give her a fair answer off the top of my head. She had nodded and said, "I'll be reading, then."_

_So I was left to sit in my apartment and think about this. It's not a relatively new topic for me to think about; however, it was just a difficult as the first time. It wasn't until someone new and dear to me said that relationships often end without reason: he told me that often men and women just simply run out of love, despite how much of it was there in the beginning._

_Someone can never be prepared for heartache, for loss, even for love. We're never actually prepared for any of the obstacles in life, despite how much of this 'preparation' is engraved into our heads at young ages. _

_Even A, who is the queen of being prepared, seems to have thrown everything to shame since a few weeks with J Suave. Instead of wading in the shallow pool to test the water, they've dived in head first to the deep end, not really giving it a second thought that the water could be thirty below._

_What am I prepared for this birthday? Absolutely nothing. My life is a spiral, neither upwards or downward, just hovering in mid air waiting for the next big step to whisk me in either direction. __All I seem to have to show for this year is a birthday cake with another candle in it._

_When I was younger I always thought my life would be in such a different place when I celebrated my twenty-sixth birthday. But as most people know, life never turns out the way we expect it to. I expected to be married, or on my way to be, kids somewhere on the horizon, and a great job to occupy my time. One out of three isn't bad, so we'll call it even._

_So instead of wasting your time preparing, for who the hell knows what, waste your time living on impulse. Give that guy that's persistent your number instead of your drycleaners. Go out and break in the new heels that were on sale, order a dinner that will cost two days pay, and enjoy yourself. Being prepared isn't all it's cracked up to be. _

_-Bella Swan_

_**Sinful in Seattle**_

***

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

I felt the bed shift beneath me. I tugged the sheets over my head and turned further into my pillow. "Mary Alice Cullen I swear if you don't stop I'll—"

"You'll what?" she sang, jumping on my bed near my feet. Rosalie was leaning against my headboard and her stroking my hair softly.

"I'm counting to five," I mumbled. I closed my eyes tightly and began my descent. "Five…" Alice continued to jump. "Four…" Not a hint of hesitation on her part. "Three…Two…" I pulled the covers off my eyes to glare at her as I said the final word, "ONE."

I threw the sheets off of me and launched myself off the bed. Alice must have been anticipating my actions because during her last jump she flung herself off the bed and into the living room. She was scrappy but my legs were longer; I caught her in less strides.

"Ah, Bella, pleaseeee," she giggled. I sat on top of her and began attacking her sides by tickling her. "N-n-noooo." She glared up at me then at Rosalie. "Ro-Rosie! HELP!"

Rosalie exited my room and waltzed into the kitchen, barley giving us a glance. "I'm Switzerland."

"BELLAAAAA!" she was gasping for breath between her laughing. "B-But we made you breakfast!"

I stopped tickling her, opting that food sounded so much better than torturing my best friend. I stood, handing out a hand to help her up. As she took it she pulled me back down to her and wrapped her little arms around my frame.

"Happy birthday!" she said again, except this time not so loudly.

"Thank you," I said. I walked into the kitchen where Rosalie was finishing up the breakfast for me. "What's on the menu, chef?"

Rose pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday, Bells!" She flipped a pancake on the stove and checked something in the oven. "So we have pancakes, biscuits, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, and muffins."

I gapped at her. "I know I can eat a lot but don't you think this is a little extreme?" Rose grinned at me before looking back at the food. "I mean, seriously guys. The three of us could only eat _half _of that on a good day. Why is there so much food?"

I don't think they meant for me to see the look they exchanged, but I did. Their eyes snapped to each others for a split second before Rose looked back at the food and Alice looked back at the news paper.

"Guys…" I started, feeling my stomach twist slightly. "Why is there so much food?"

"Well," Alice started. She bit her lip in concentration, I guess trying to make whatever she was about to say better than it was. "When I mentioned today the guys got really excited about it."

I nodded. I knew that; we had made plans to go out tonight and celebrate a week ago. But that doesn't…oh.

She must have seen the realization in my eyes because she suddenly was stuttering out, "I promise I didn't invite them, Bells! I was on the phone with Jasper yesterday mentioning that I had to go buy the stuff for your breakfast and then suddenly Emmett was on the phone saying that they should come for breakfast too and then one thing led to another and now they're on their way."

The birthday ritual between the three of us was our breakfast. We started it midway through our junior year on Alice's twenty-first birthday; Rosalie and I had woken up early and made her all her favorite breakfast foods and topped it off with a bottle of her favorite liquor. Needless to say, Alice doesn't remember majority of the night…or day for that matter.

But our breakfasts had always been just us three. Even when we had boyfriends during our birthdays, we'd kick them out for our girl breakfast…until now, I guess.

I took in both Alice and Rosalie's appearances. Alice was in jeans, which wasn't uncommon, but with her make up and hair done. Rosalie was in jeans as well and a tank top with her golden hair pulled up into a high pony tale and with flawless make up.

I looked down at my appearance. I assumed my hair looked equivalent to a hay stack, my skin was probably blotchy, and I was wearing a holey wife beater and my oldest pair of sweat pants.

I looked back and forth between them, before down at myself again. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing was coming out.

"You should probably put on a bra," Rosalie informed me, turning off the stove. She cast me a glance from over her shoulder then added, "Or not," with a nonchalant shrug.

My cheeks instantly flamed. "A little warning, guys?"

There was a loud rap at the front door.

Alice hopped off the stool and made her way past me. "There's your warning."

I rushed back to my room and shut the door. I did a quick glance around the room; I wasn't about to actually get ready for the day, but I did need to change and at least brush my hair. I dug through some of my drawers to pull out a fresh wife beater that didn't look like a piece of Swiss cheese and a pair of jeans.

"Where's the birthday girl?" I heard Emmett ask loudly.

"She's getting dressed," Alice told him.

"No! I came in my pajamas! Why are you all dressed? This is breakfast! I came prepared!"

I bit my lip, smiling, as I pulled on my jeans and clasped my bra. I tugged the tank over my head, brushed my hair and teeth, before taking one last glance in my mirror and deciding I just didn't care.

I opened my bedroom door and slowly walked out. The first thing I saw was a huge hunk of man sitting on our couch in a white t-shirt and Ninja Turtle pajama pants. I didn't even try to resist the urge; I started to laugh.

"Oh my God, Emmett," I gasped, clutching my stomach.

He frowned at me with his fork half way between his plate and his mouth. "If you aren't cool with the turtles you aren't cool with me." He stood up and practically ran over to me. He lifted me up with perfect ease and spun me around the room. "Happy birthday Bella!"

"Thank you!" I screeched. He set me down, tossed me a wink, and then returned to his spot. I felt someone come up behind me and wrap an arm around my shoulder and pull me into a hard and muscled chest.

"So the birthday girl emerges," Jasper laugh, giving my shoulders a squeeze before releasing them. "Happy birthday."

Alice bounded up to his side and just stood smiling up at him. I smiled at them both and tried to the get the mental image of what Jasper would look like shirtless out of my mind.

I turned to enter the kitchen and retrieve my own breakfast, but I ran into a person. I smelled him before I looked at him, letting his thick musty scent assault my senses. I felt vibrations from under my finger tips; I hadn't realized I put my hand son his chest.

I gazed up at him and held my breath. All thoughts of Jasper long forgotten, I smiled brightly up at Edward, feeling my heart accelerate and butterflies swim around in my stomach. I swallowed nervously as I finally noticed that my body was pressed flush against his and I could feel every outlined muscle, every ridge, every dip of his body, every carefully contoured part through his thin t-shirt.

I was flustered already and it was only nine fifteen.

"Hi," Edward smiled down at me, placing his hands on my hips.

"Hi," I sort of breathed out, not meaning to make it sound so breathless.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Happy birthday, Bella." My arms wound around his neck, and my fingers started to get tangled into his bronze locks slightly.

"Thank you," I told him as he released me. "Hungry?"

He nodded. "Starving, actually. I just got off work."

I let my gaze wander down his body. He was wearing tennis shoes and peppermint green scrubs with a plain light grey t-shirt that was tight across his chest. He had a prominent five o'clock shadow on his chin and he donned a baseball cap on top of his mop of bronze hair. I grinned at the fact that even with a cap on it, the cap couldn't seem to tame the hair that had gotten free.

"Night shift?" I asked, walking towards the kitchen.

"Yeah," he sighed. He lifted the cap off his head so he could run his hand through his hair. "I admit it's starting to wear on me a little." He yawned almost as if to emphasize his point, before grinning lazily at me and plopping the cap down on my head. "It looks better on you," he explained as he cocked his head to the side.

I didn't want to blush but I felt my cheeks warm slightly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and replied, "Thanks."

"I got you something," he said hurriedly, almost making the words slur together.

I arched an eyebrow at him. "I told you not to spend money on me."

He rubbed the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly. "Well it's a good thing I didn't spend a penny." My brows furrowed in confusion and he continued, "I made you something, but it's not done yet. It needs…tweaking," he said finally, content with the word choice.

"Tweaking?" I asked, my lips tugging into a smile.

"Yes, tweaking." He leaned against the counter and watched me retrieve a plate for us to eat off of. "It should be ready soon."

"Well I'm sure whatever it is I'll love it. You didn't have to get me anything."

He nudged my leg with his foot. "I know I didn't, but I wanted to. So no complaining when I give it to you, okay? Alice warned me you have an aversion to getting gifts."

"Okay, I won't complain."

"Promise?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

I let out a shaky laugh and nodded. "Promise."

I started to load my plate with the food in front of me. I wasn't too hungry, so I stuck with some eggs, a muffin, and some fruit for the time being. I turned to walk back into the living room when I noticed Edward out of the corner of my eye staring at me. I glanced at him through my lashes. His eyes were running down my body, and at the moment lingering on my chest. His head snapped up to mine and a faint blush spread across his cheeks. He cleared his throat nervously, moving to add some food to his plate.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling as I left him in the kitchen. I plopped myself next to Emmett on the couch before I started to dig in.

"So this breakfast thing," Jasper started, swallowing the food in his mouth, "is something you guys do every year?"

"It's tradition!" Alice chirped. "It's nice to wake up on your birthday and have breakfast ready for you. We've been doing it since we moved in together."

Emmett glared over at Jasper and Edward. "Why don't we do something like that?"

Edward rolled his eyes at him. "Because I'm so much happier with buying you a bottle of whiskey."

We had a light conversation for the majority of the morning. In the early afternoon, Alice announced that it was time for the boys to leave.

"What? Why?" Emmett asked. Rosalie was sitting between Emmett and me on the couch, with her head in my lap and her feet in Emmetts'.

"Because I have to get Bella ready and myself ready. You can't rush perfection." She kicked Emmetts' foot. "Skedaddle."

"So what time is dinner?" Edward asked. I wanted to groan. We just ate our weight in breakfast food…and he wanted to know about dinner?

Alice shook her head. "No, sorry. Because you guys chose to crash our usual girls only breakfast, that makes dinner a girl's only affair. You can meet us at Pulse with everyone else at around nine."

The guys didn't put up a fight to Alice. They just rose to their feet, muttered their goodbyes and headed out the door. But not before Edward leaned toward me and placed a sweet kiss on my cheek. "Happy birthday, Bells." I smiled in return and started to remove his hat that was still on my head but he stopped me. "I said it looks better on you." He tossed me one last crooked smile before walking out the door.

Alice clapped her hands and turned to me. "Let the fun begin!"

***

Primped, polished, or done up doesn't even begin to describe the person starring back at me in the mirror. I let out a nervous laughter as Alice came to my side a pursed her lips together.

"Isn't…" I cleared my throat and tried again. "Isn't this a bit much?"

"It's your birthday. You're celebrating the fact that the world has now been graced with your presence for another year."

I was, as Alice so wonderfully put it, "dressed to impress". I was wearing midnight blue strapless dress that hug me like second skin in satin until my mid thigh. It was accompanied by a pair of silver sandals that I could use as a weapon against Alice if she made me. My hair was hanging down my back in loose shiny waves and my makeup was a bit heavy but I admit it was beautifully done. I swallowed the lump that had been forming in my throat.

I rolled my eyes and lifted my fingers to touch the earrings dangling from my ears. "This isn't necessary."

Alice huffed at me and started to push me out towards the kitchen. "Bells, if you ever did anything that was just necessary then your life would be so bland." She fluffed up her short spikes before following me out. "Please try to have fun tonight, alright? I love you but you try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders when you don't need to." She placed her hand in mine and squeezed my fingers.

I smiled and gently squeezed her fingers in return. "I love you too. And yes, I will try my hardest to have fun."

"Does that mean your going to get laid?" Rosalie asked as she walked into the kitchen.

I scowled at her for a minute as Alice giggled next to me. All that was audible was Rosalie's high heels clicking against the floor but I swear I could almost _hear_ her smirk.

"Are we ready?" I asked, trying to hurry things along.

"Yeah, lets go."

The cool September air whipped around us, making me pull my jacket tighter against my bare shoulders. "I should have worn jeans!" I could feel goose bumps rising on my freshly shaven legs and I sighed in annoyance. Both Alice and Rosalie didn't say anything, so I figured they were ignoring anything negative that came out of my mouth.

But they were right; it was my birthday. Why not have some fun?

_Lighten up._

The restaurant where we were eating dinner was one of our favorites; The Melting Pot. Alice linked her arm through mine and waltzed up to the hostess, standing proud in her four foot ten glory.

"May I help you?"

"Reservations for three, under Cullen," she said smoothly. I shot her a questioning look which just caused her to smile. "I changed the reservations this morning," she told me.

"Right this way," the hostess said. She led us to a small table somewhat in the middle of the restaurant, placing our menus and silver wear down in front of us. "Your server will be right with you."

Dinner went smoothly. It was nice, since it really had been a while since the three of us went out together. The last time had actually been the night I met Edward…

Taking me out my daydream, Alice cleared her throat. She smiled at me, her perfectly straight teeth showing; silently telling me was up to something.

"What?"

She just shook her head and kept smiling at me. Rosalie broke the silence by ordering the three of us another drink. I already felt my head beginning to get a little fuzzy and my body was feeling a little heavy. I shot Rosalie a look and she scowled at me and huffed out, "Fine, this is our last one…here."

"So Bells," Alice started, before popping a piece of chicken in her mouth, "what do you think of Edward?"

I couldn't help the fact that I tensed. Knowing Alice, she probably noticed it too because Rosalie suddenly nudged my foot, causing me to look up and meet her wide eyes. I coughed nervously before running a hand through my curls. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes were gleaming as she answered me, "Exactly what I said. What do you think of him?"

I cast what I hoped was a sly glance at Rose. She was starring right back at me, completely confused as I was, mouthing, "I don't know," and shrugging.

Alice's eyes were glued on me, probably itching for my response.

"Um…" Such an intelligent way to begin, Bella. "He's great, I guess." I fumbled with my napkin. "I see why you're so taken with him."

"Do you like him?"

I nearly choked on my water. "E-Excuse me?"

"Do you like him?" Alice repeated, slower this time and defining every word.

I rolled my eyes at her. "I guess. He seems like a nice guy," I replied coolly.

I swear I saw her face fall slightly, but I could have just been imagining things. It could have been she didn't like the song that had just started playing or she might have not liked the taste of her food. "I think you two would be cute together," she told me honestly.

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Me and Edward…dating?" My throat was growing thick with every word she said.

She nodded and chewed on her chicken thoughtfully. "I thought he was your type," she said, looking at me skeptically.

I scoffed at her. "Really? Because compared to Jake—"

"Don't mention that animal here, please."

I sighed. "Fine. Compared to my last boyfriend," Alice cringed, "Edward is the farthest thing from him."

Alice placed her elbows on the table and pushed her food around her plate. "I just had a feeling that you two would hit it off."

"They have…" Rosalie murmured. I shot her a death glare which only made her smile back at me.

"Well I don't want to push you into something," Alice announced. She placed her hand on top of mine and gently squeezed it. "It's obvious that you and Edward have become friends, so I don't want to screw something up. But I just thought you two would be good for each other."

I met Rosalie's eyes from across the table, feeling her swiftly kick my shoe and my chest tighten.

Had Alice had just…given me permission to date her brother?

Her brother, Edward.

_Edward._

Reason number one I didn't want to pursue Edward had now vanished. Looking back on it, now that that reason was gone, the other reasons seemed inferior and started to slip from my mind.

Oh God, like I could finish my meal _now. _I placed my hand back on hers and smiled at her. "Thanks, Al."

I think Rosalie sensed my urgency to leave the restaurant because she flagged down our waitress and paid for our food and drinks. I stumbled out the restaurant, half from the alcohol and half from the daze I was currently in.

The butterflies in my stomach were about to fly out.

Alice and Rosalie both linked their arms through mine as we made our way through downtown to get to _Pulse._

As soon as we entered, Alice zoned in on where our friends were. She roughly grabbed my hand and yanked me in the direction of the bar where a large round booth was located.

The first person I saw was Emmett. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground while yelling, "The birthday girl has arrived!"

I received a hug and a "happy birthday!" from everyone after that. Mike and his girlfriend Jessica, Angela and her boyfriend Ben, Tyler and his date, Jasper, and finally Edward.

When I finally met his gaze he was smiling up at me from behind the table. He was sandwich in between Jessica and Tyler's date as they were rambling on about something. His hands were in his lap and he looked absolutely miserable—until he saw me.

_Stop that._

He shot me a pleading look but I shook my head and shrugged, trying to fight the smile. He licked his lower lip and tapped Jessica's arm. "Excuse me, ladies."

He somehow managed to get out of the booth and made his way to me. Hearing Alice's word echo back and forth in my mind sent my heart on overdrive and suddenly I felt sweat form on my brown when I hadn't moved half an inch.

I needed to get a grip.

In one swift motion, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and had lifted me off the ground in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and had to resist the urge to wrap my legs around his waist, too.

He slowly lowered me back to my feet, and whispered lowly in my ear, "How was dinner?"

"Fine," I croaked.

He nodded and released me completely. My body immediately protested by leaning towards him, silently willing him to touch me again.

Suddenly Rosalie grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her harshly. "Bathroom, now," she hissed. Unable to reply or argue, I trudged along behind her into the restroom.

She glanced under each stall before turning to me, gripping my shoulders in her hands and shaking me slightly. "Oh my God, Bells."

I blinked. "What?"

She scowled at me. "I know you aren't that drunk. You know what I'm talking about." When I didn't speak again she sighed heavily and plopped her clutch down on the sink. "Alice just gave you permission to date Edward."

I bit my lip nervously and nodded. "Yeah…"

Her face broke out into a grin. "So what are you going to do about that? Come on! I know you like him, he likes you! You told me a month ago that the only reason that you weren't having sex with him _or_ dating him was because of Alice."

"I'm nervous," I admitted.

"Why?"

I groaned, tugging on my hair as I met her gaze. "Because he could be big. Bigger than any other guy I've been with."

Understanding what I meant, she placed her hands in mine and squeezed them. "Bigger than Jake?"

I nodded, "Much bigger."

"Oh God! What are you going to do?"

I looked down at a sink and then up in the mirror at my reflection. "I don't know…take things slow?"

Rosalie shook her head and crossed her arms. "Try again."

I met her gaze and bit my lower lip. "Get drunk and make out with him?" I asked, laughing as I said it.

"Bingo!" She smiled and pulled me out of the bathroom.

"Rose," I snarled, "what are you doing?"

"Giving you a good old fashioned kick in the ass," she told me sweetly as we neared the table with our friends. "Now go."

I mentally rolled my eyes and turned just as Alice thrust colorful shots and fruity drinks into my hands.

"Drink up!" Alice chirped.

And I did. Probably way too much. I lost count after my fifth shot of the bright red liquid I kept calling Kool-aid.

Rosalie slipped another drink in front of me. I stared down at it, then back to her. "What is this?" I asked, eyeing the unnatural bright blue drink.

"A blue motherfucker. It's good," she told me, indicated she had gotten herself one.

I shrugged and took a sip. It _was _good.

I spent a lot of time dancing with Rose or Alice, and a lot of time at the table talking to everyone there. At some point in the night Angela had seated herself beside me as Ben and Edward sat across from us, enthralled in a conversation of their own.

"He's super cute," she sighed.

I nodded and sipped my drink. "Ben is cute," I agreed.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course Ben is cute. I was talking about Edward, though."

I licked my lips nervously and nodded. "Yeah, he is."

"I think he likes you," she said, sipping her own drink.

I glanced back at him and then to her. "I don't know."

She nodded enthusiastically and took my hand in hers. "Bells, I think he does. All night tonight he's been watching you."

I shrugged and started to pull my hand out from hers when I felt something sharp scrap against my skin. I looked down at her hand and nearly fell out of my chair.

"What is this?"

Angela looked confused for a moment. Realization hit her as she looked down at our hands and blushed. "Um…an engagement ring."

I felt my jaw drop as I stared at her. Her smile grew a mile a minute and she suddenly spilled everything. "Oh, Bella! He proposed last night! I was going to wait to tell you because I didn't want you to feel like I was trying to take away from your birthday!"

"No! You should have told me! That would just add to it."

"Bella," she said very seriously, which was ironic because of how intoxicated we both were at the moment. "I need to ask you something very important."

I nodded and she continued. "You're one of my best friends. And my sister's on such a tight schedule for work that she's not going to be able to be my maid of honor so I was wondering…" she took a deep breath, "Would you do it?"

How could I possibly say no? I personally didn't like weddings but when she had put it that way…with no way out…and when she looked at me with those pleading eyes…fuck.

"Yes, of course," I told her. She smiled and pulled me into a hug. She went off ranting about the wedding, what she wants her dress to be like and so on. I felt myself drifting out of the conversation, just nodding in the right places to keep her going.

I suddenly felt someone tap my foot under the table. Half expecting it to be Rose, I looked up ready to scowl at her but instead was met with Edward's grinning face. My brows furrowed in slight confusion as I kicked him back, harder than he had done to me. His smile grew as he kicked me again and rubbed his ankle against mine.

I licked my lower lip. Was he actually playing footsie with me? I bit my lip to try and stop the smile.

His smile grew as he slid his foot long my calf and brought it back down to my ankle. Ben stood up from next to him, but Edward didn't tear his eyes from mine. His foot continued its stroking, making my leg raise with goose bumps.

"Ang," Ben called for her, "want to dance?"

She nodded and turned back to me. "Remember what I said." I blinked stupidly for a second after her. What had she said? I hadn't really been listening to her for the past five minutes.

They left, leaving Edward and I at the table starring at each other.

"Want to dance?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Maybe in a minute, I actually feel a little dizzy."

Edward's eyes narrowed at the various number of empty glasses in front of me. "I wonder why," he said dryly.

I scowled at him, which he just laughed at. "Stay here," he told me. "I'll grab you some water."

I nodded and watched his retreating form walk back to the bar. I couldn't help but notice how good he looked in his dark button down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, the way his shirt hung loosely around his narrowed waist, the way his jeans made his ass look as he walked—

I shook my head. I had it _bad_.

"Come dance!" Alice jerked me out of my seat and pulled me along side with her and Jasper on the dance floor.

Dancing with Alice and Jasper was a little more awkward than I thought it would be originally. Eventually they forgot I was there and I started to walk away when someone grabbed my hand.

"Care to dance?" a boyishly handsome guy, probably about the same age as me, with dark blonde hair and blue eyes asked me.

I nodded and smiled up at him. We didn't dance long, since I was incredibly dizzy and it was proving to be a challenge to keep myself standing up right for long. I was about to tell him I needed to sit down when someone placed their hand on the guys shoulder.

"May I cut in?" Edward asked. He had a good inch or two on the blonde guy and he was by far much more attractive. He didn't really wait for an answer before he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me from the guy.

"Thanks for the dance!" I called after him.

Edward brought my back flush with his chest, sending a tremor through me. His hands gripped my waist tightly as he began to rock us back and forth.

"I thought I told you to wait," he said calmly but there was a slight edge to his voice.

"I was pulled to the floor by Alice. Take it up with her."

"And right into that guys arms, right?" he hissed. I rested my head back against his shoulder to look at him.

I'm not sure what possessed me to say it, but I did. I blame the alcohol. "You're cute when you're jealous," I noted.

His jaw clenched and he tightened his grip slightly. "I'm not jealous."

I nodded, a small smile playing on my lips. He rolled his eyes and grinned, before breathing in my ear, "Let's sit down. You can barely stand up straight."

I nodded numbly and he practically carried me back to our table. Once I was settled in the plush seat again, Edward reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cold water bottle. He cracked it open and handed it to me; I finished half of it in two gulps.

He settled beside me, taking a small swig from the water after me. I rested my head against his shoulder and smiled up at him. "I need another shot."

"No, actually," he pushed my half finished drink away from me, along with all the other empty glasses. "You need to slow down."

I crossed my arms across my chest and pouted. He chuckled and pushed the water bottle back into my grasp. "You'll thank me tomorrow morning," he said softly.

We fell into a light conversation. Well it was more of I fell into a conversation while Edward nodded or said something occasionally but never more than a few words at a time. For the entire duration of it, his eyes were glued to me. Just that alone was enough to make my pulse throb.

"I'm trying to plan a trip to visit Charlie," I said loudly over the music.

He arched an eyebrow at me and spoke in my ear, "Really? And how do you expect to get all the way to Forks?"

"Um," I mumbled, "in my car?"

Edward laughed and shook his head slightly from side to side. "Car? That's an _extremely_ loose use of the term, Bella."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You've never seen my car!"

"Oh, quite the contraire," his chuckles were sending vibrations throughout my own body. I bit my lip lightly as I stared up at him, feeling tingles shoot down through my arms and legs. "I asked Alice one day and she pointed it out to me."

"It's reliable…"

"When you don't have to drive more than fifty yards," he said wryly.

"I'll have you know that my car has been good to me for the past few years I've had it! It's never broken down or gotten a flat—"

"Yet."

I scowled at him and crossed my hands over my chest. "Alright, smartass, if I can't drive my car to Forks, then whose car should I drive?"

He grinned and opened his mouth to reply with some sort of sarcastic remark, but suddenly shut it with a snap and furrowed his brows in frustration.

I felt the seat dip beside me in the middle of our conversation and I saw Edward's eyes focus just past me and lock there. Curious, I followed his gaze to the seat next to me. Seated to my left was another attractive man, probably in his early thirties, who was obviously very drunk. He grinned at me and nodded at Edward.

"Hey."

I smiled at him, silently praying if I was nice to the guy he'd get a hint and leave. "Hi."

Suddenly Edward wrapped one arm around my shoulders and another around my legs and pulled me into him, so my legs were sprawled across his lap. He gritted his teeth at the man and growled, "Beat it."

The guy blinked at Edward before holding up his hands. "Sorry dude, I didn't know she was spoken for," he mumbled as he slid out of the seat.

Edward glared at his back until he was lost in the crowd. Once he was gone, Edward loosened his grip on me but didn't make any motion to push me away. I swallowed a large lump in my throat as I noticed one of my knees was dangerously close to his crotch. If I applied just a little bit more pressure I was pretty certain I'd be able to feel his dick through the front of his jeans.

Edward seemed to notice this too because he squirmed and cleared his throat nervously. I pulled my legs back down from him and took a long swig from the water bottle. "I need a shot."

He nodded in agreement. "Me too." He grabbed the bottle from me and took a swig, not before muttering something under his breath that distinctly sounded like, "Too desirable for your own good," but I couldn't be sure.

The night continued much like that. A few more guys tried to hit on me but most were scared away as Edward glared at them. I wasn't sure what to make of it—I wanted to believe he was scaring them off because he didn't want anyone other than himself to have me, but in reality it could have just been that he didn't want me to get taken advantage of while I was drunk. I didn't get up to dance anymore though, possibly because my head was pounding from the loud music and the alcohol pumping through my system.

After a few hours, a good bit of my friends had headed home. Angela and Ben were about to leave, leaving the six of us alone in the club. Alice and Jasper were still dancing and partying like there was no tomorrow, while Rosalie and Emmett were sitting with Edward and I at the table.

I leaned my head on Edwards shoulder and sighed. He grinned down at me and asked, "Tired?"

I nodded. "Aren't you? You haven't slept yet," I ran a finger lightly over his dark circles. He just smiled and shook his head.

"Do you want to go home, Bells?" Rosalie asked.

"Mmhm." I picked my purse off the table and smiled weakly at her. "Let's go!"

I stumbled out of the booth just in time for Edward to catch me. "You're smashed," he told me, laughing.

I frowned at him. "Am not."

He shook his head and turned to Rosalie. "I'll take her home if you wanted to stay a little bit longer."

Rosalie bit her lip and looked back and forth from me and Edward. I shook my head and waved at her. "Bye Rosie!" I turned and heard her laugh ring in my ears.

"Whoa, there," Edward cooed, wrapping his arm around me. "Let me help you, otherwise you'll end up breaking something."

He half carried me out of the club and on to the street to hail a cab. A feeling of hunger suddenly washed over me as I clutched onto Edward's shirt and pulled his body back to mine.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, a little too loudly, causing everyone outside to stare at me in confusion.

"What?" he asked. He lifted my chin with his index finger so he could look at my face better. "I thought you were tired," he said softly.

I nodded, and then shook my head. "No—I mean, yes, I'm tired, but I'm hungry."

Edward laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him. "Hungry?"

"Yeah! I mean I haven't eaten in," I checked my left wrist that didn't have a watch on it, which only caused Edward to laugh harder. "Oh, I don't know. At least four hours."

"Alright, birthday girl," he commented, his eyes bright with amusement. "Where would you like to go?"

I bit my lip and pondered his request. I looked down the street and then back up at his face just in time to watch his tongue to sweep across his bottom lip…

_Focus. Focus. Focus._

I cleared my throat. "Surprise me," I told him. I pulled out of his embrace and waited patiently for him to pick a course for us to travel.

He offered his arm for me, and I shyly slipped my arm through his, savoring in the little bit of body heat that was radiating off of him. We didn't speak for a few minutes. Instead we walked in a somewhat comfortable silence, watching people bustle around at one in the morning.

"So..." I started. The alcohol was beginning to wear off, and suddenly I was unsure of what I was doing. The liquor had been helping me along and giving me a little bit of backbone with Edward, but now that I was sobering up I felt my spine beginning to curl. "Where are we going?"

"I-Five," he answered nonchalantly. He checked his watch and smiled. "Plenty of time before it closes," he added. "Is that okay with you?"

I nodded. "Pizza would be awesome." I wanted to say more, to prove to him that I could actually string together a coherent sentence whenever I was around him, but at the moment I couldn't. I couldn't focus on anything, except the fact that he was next to me.

I thought my right side was going to go up in flames.

We arrived at the pizza place and sat at a small table near the back, conveniently away from everyone else that was dining. Our server fetched us some water and took her time, giving Edward an ample amount of time to stare at my face and occasionally my chest.

"What do you want?" he asked, not picking up the menu.

I shrugged and flipped the menu over, although I wasn't actually reading it. It was just providing a nice distraction at the moment. "A slice of cheese sounds nice, but I'm feeling adventurous so I might get supreme."

I didn't hear a response from him, so I slowly lowered my menu so I could gaze at him from over the top of it. His lips were pressed into a thin line and he was trying his hardest not to laugh. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he laughed, "I can't help it." He tried his hardest to straighten his face out, but as soon as I gave him a disapproving look he lost it. I scowled and turned my nose back into the menu. "Okay," he called, "how about you get cheese and I'll get supreme? That way we can share," he offered.

It was an easy agreement, and the pizza was in front of us within a blink of an eye. I'm not entirely sure _how_ we managed to eat these slices that were so huge, but we did. We laughed and made fun of the people that were drunker than us, shoving toppings and crust into each others mouths.

My heart flip flopped every time his eyes met mine.

When we had finished _both_ slices, Edward pulled out his wallet and put his credit card on the table.

"No, don't—"

"Stop, Bella. It's your birthday. Please don't complain, alright?" he pleaded.

I nodded in defeat and slumped back against my chair. I was sobering up dramatically, as the alcohol left my system and as food filled my stomach. Now it would only be the shoes fault if I tripped.

We exited the pizza parlor and headed down in the direction of my apartment. "Do you want to get a cab?" he asked, after brushing my hair off shoulder and whispering into my neck.

I shivered, and not from the chilly air. "N-no," I stuttered. "I feel like walking, if that's okay with you."

Edward slipped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me tight to his body. "That's fine with me." I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of his body engulf my side, and I didn't stop myself when I nuzzled my head into his chest.

"Mmm," I mumbled into his jacket.

I felt him chuckle softly. "So how was your birthday?"

I looked up at him confused, before I pulled my phone out of my purse and noted that it was well after two in the morning. "Drat," I sighed. "I was hoping I'd have a little time left."

"You're concept of time is slightly off when you're drunk," he noted.

"Shut up." I placed my purse back on my shoulder. "It was nice."

"Just nice?"

I nudged his ribs, or I tried too, but I don't think it worked out that way. I just heard him laugh harder and plant a kiss on the side of my head. "It was _extremely _nice."

"I'm glad," he said softly, turning his head to face the street. His grip around my shoulders hadn't loosened in the slightest when he began humming something soothing but unfamiliar.

For the rest of the walk, he continued humming. Half a block from my apartment I finally asked him about it.

"What are you humming?"

He blinked at me for a second before the corner of his mouth twitched. "It's nothing, really. Just something I've been working on," he answered.

"It sounds pretty."

His eyes held something that I couldn't decipher. "It will be once it's finished. It needs tweaking."

"Tweaking?" I asked as a cop car drove past us with it's lights flashing. That sounded a little familiar but I couldn't quite place it.

"Yes, tweaking. I can't seem to get the ending right." His brow furrowed in concentration as he went over the song again and again in his mind. "It's a little frustrating."

"I'd love to hear it when it's done," I yawned.

After I spoke, he just simply grinned and turned his gaze elsewhere as if nothing had been said at all.

I leaned my head back on his shoulder and sighed. I felt him move from underneath me and clear his throat.

"So," Edward said hesitantly. His voice held an uncertainty to it, making me turn towards him slightly to see his in question. "Last week, when we were in your room…"

I felt my chest tighten. I didn't expect him to never bring up the non-existent kiss that definitely hadn't happened last week, but I really hadn't thought he'd bring it up on my _birthday._ I closed my eyes briefly as I waited for the impact.

"When you told me about that…Jacob character."

My eyes flew open.

That was so not where I thought he was taking the conversation.

And still, I did _not_ want to go there, drunk _or_ sober.

"What about it?"

Edward let out a nervous laugh and watched me carefully. "Do you still talk to him?"

"No—well, no."

"Excuse me?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I ran into him last week and that was the first time I saw him since we broke up and—" I snapped my mouth shut and glared at him. "Why do you care?"

He only offered me his crooked grin in response.

It hadn't registered with me that we had stopped walking. We were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, trying to keep our voices down so people passing us wouldn't get curious.

I rubbed the back of my neck and turned away from him, effectively getting out of his grasp and giving him a response of my own.

I heard him sigh and come up behind me. "Sorry, I was curious." I should have known by then that he wasn't going to drop it. "Did you love him?"

I turned to him, in all my drunken glory and growled, "Honestly it is none of your business."

"Touchy."

I gaped at him. "I am not _touchy_. You just need to learn about boundaries. You and Alice both have issues with that. Hers are just physical, yours are emotional."

"I don't have issues with emotional boundaries."

"Yes, you do. Why are you playing twenty questions about my ex?" I asked him, feeling my cheeks redden.

Edward's eyes flashed to the street corner, then back to me. "I'm curious," he answered with a bored tone.

"Then get curious with someone else's ex's," I snapped, then immediately regretted it. The mental picture of Edward with one of his ex's or another gorgeous girl flashed in my mind and I bit my lip and closed my eyes, trying to will it away.

"I could," he told me, walking around to face me. "But I enjoy watching you get flustered."

I gritted my teeth and looked away to a passing car. I counted back from ten to calm myself before I did something hasty.

"You never answered my question."

"Which one? You've asked about sixty of them already in the past minute. I think you might have set a world record for the number of direct questions in under ninety seconds, so you might want to check up on that," I drawled.

He was obviously amused by my annoyance. "Did you love him?"

I felt my jaw slacken and anger begin to bubble up inside me. "What kind of question is that?"

"A logical one."

"Yes. Edward you are a surgeon, I know you aren't stupid. If I was going to marry him, do you think I loved him?" I tapped my temple to emphasize my point.

"Sometimes people don't get married because they love each other."

"Oh God," I groaned. I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a defeated sigh. "Yes, I loved him. He was the only guy I've ever been in love with. He was my best friend and he never, _ever_, pissed me off _remotely _close to how much you are right now," I hissed out.

He only grinned, lightly running his teeth over his bottom lip as he smiled at me.

I turned on my heel and started to finish the walk to my apartment. The sooner I got home the sooner I could be free of this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bullshit I was dealing with Edward at the moment.

I heard his footsteps behind me. They weren't hurried or slow, just a normal pace a few steps behind mine. After a few minutes of feeling like my anger had finally calmed down, his footsteps stopped and he spoke.

"You've never been in love."

_What the fuck._

I stumbled to a stop and spun on the spot to face him, nearly breaking my heel in the process. "Excuse me?" It felt like my mouth was too dry to form words at the moment and my throat was horse. "Why would you say that? You have no idea about anything—"

He cut me off with a nonchalant shrug and brushed past me to resume our walk. I stared at him before shaking my head and rushing to his side while cursing under my breath.

"You have no idea about…you never saw us! You never spoke to us—you weren't even in the same state, or even region, for that matter—"

"The way you talk about him," he said suddenly, interrupting me from my rant. "That's why I say that."

"How do I talk about him?" I asked, confused.

He traced the outline of his jaw and rubbed the scruff on his chin. "There's no passion behind your words. It's as if you're talking about your brother."

I jutted my chin out defensively. "I do not."

"Yes, you do." His voice held a matter oh fact kind of tone and it made my blood boil.

"No, I _don't._" I shoved him with all the strength I could muster and stopped walking. He gazed down at me with a somewhat amused expression on his face.

"Yes, _you do._" He leaned toward me so his breath blew across my face. I blinked a few times before returning my scowl to its earlier position. His grin grew deliciously crooked and he continued, "You said he was your best friend—"

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"I didn't say there was. Don't interrupt." He turned his body more towards mine. "You said he was your best friend, and that's totally fine. But the fact that you said he never pissed you off, and obviously it's easy to do so I don't know _how _that never happened, says that he wasn't man enough to stand up to you."

"It is not easy to do! I am always the cool and collected one. Just because you don't fight with your significant other doesn't mean you aren't in love. Some of us aren't as hot tempered as you, Edward."

"Or you," he noted, watching me clench my fists tightly at my sides.

"You seem to bring out the worst in me."

He rolled his eyes and continued speaking. "When you talk about him you don't get that spark in your eyes." I tilted my head slightly as he spoke. "You get it whenever you talk about something that you're passionate about—and trust me I've found that you're passionate about almost _everything_." I must have still had a blank expression on my face because he kept going. "Like, in the record store? You had that spark in your eye when you were trying to convince me that The Beatles were better than The Who, which you're still wrong about that by the way."

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him. "You would…" I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

"When you're talking about books, you get it," he continued. "When you talk about Alice or Rosalie or you mom or dad? Your eyes just completely light up. But when you rant on about this _Jacob _guy your eyes just stayed flat. Nothing. Nada."

I blinked a few times, staring intently at the street. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, trying to make the night return to its happier place.

"Your lover is supposed to be someone who pushes you," he said more softly. "Makes you into a better person. By never fighting with you he never made you question yourself."

"And that's a bad thing?" I snapped.

"Yes, it is." He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "If nobody ever pushes us to be better then we'll never achieve anything."

I pulled away from his hand and huffed out my chest. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," I told him, although I knew that was the farthest thing from the truth.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. "Bella, you are the most unreasonable person I have ever met," he swore, glaring at me.

I blinked once before sneering at him. "I'm only frustrating to you because I don't agree with everything you say. You mentioned something earlier about Jake not having a backbone? What does that say about you, Edward? That the people you surround yourself with are spineless?"

I turned back around to continue to my apartment. I listened for his footsteps, but when I didn't hear them, a wave of emotions washed over me. The thing that crossed my mind was I had won our fight and he left defeated, to pick up his pieces and go back to his apartment alone. The next thing that crossed my mind was the fact that Edward would go back to his apartment, _alone. _My heart grew heavy and began to beat at an erratic pace. I tried to control my breathing but it was coming out in quick gasps, filling my lungs with the crisp air.

My emotions were beginning to get jumbled up when he was being so hot and cold with me.

"Bella! Stop," he called after me.

I ignored him and kept walking.

"Isabella," he half purred, half demanded. I stopped. I'm not sure if it was voluntary or not, but the sound of him saying my name sent shivers down my spine.

"What?" I snapped at him without turning around. Another emotion that had been building inside suddenly rose to the surface.

I turned back to face him and swayed slightly on the spot. He was a foot away from me, his left hand stretched out towards me and his chest heaving. His cheeks were red and his hair was even messier than it was earlier this evening.

He was beautiful, even though he probably wanted to smash my skull in.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek as I identified what emotion I had just been feeling—lust. Was there anything about this man that didn't make me want to jump his bones? The way he smelled, looked, talked—and now apparently the way he insulted me.

I wanted nothing more than for him to lunge at me, attack me with his lips, and make me feel all the passion he had pent up during our argument.

I shook my head and brought my gaze back to his face. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for him to say something to me.

"I…" he stammered. "I've never fought this way with anyone…" he trailed off, obviously trying to find the right words to say. "I'm sorry."

I crossed my arms over my chest, hopefully coming off as uninterested.

He sighed and ran his outstretched hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly, "especially tonight." He took another step towards me. "Please accept my apology," he whispered. "I just get worked up around you."

The dramatic turn of the situation left me stunned and slightly breathless. His on and off emotions and attitude were making my head spin with confusion.

"It's mutual, then," I told him, taking a small step backwards.

"It seems it is," he mused, pressing his lips into a thin line.

I accepted his outstretched hand and we returned our walk to my apartment, fingers intertwined.

We reached the front door of my apartment and I paused, prepared for one of our awkward goodbyes but he tugged on my hand towards the doors.

"What are you doing?"

"Being chivalrous," he countered. He tugged on my arm again. "Come on, birthday girl. Let me walk you to your room."

"I'm perfectly capable of walking myself to my room, thank you," I said a little too harshly. I couldn't help it; I was still a little miffed at him.

He pulled me close and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Stop being so stubborn," he murmured under his breath, loud enough for me to hear but not loud enough for anyone else.

"I'm twenty-six years old—"

"And drunk." His grip tightened slightly as he leaned into my ear. "Stop being so fucking stubborn and let me walk you upstairs."

Hearing Edward utter the word _fuck_ made my thighs quiver. So I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed in feigned annoyance. I felt his hand slip slightly underneath my shirt and his fingers brush against the bare skin of my lower back. My skin turned into goose bumps immediately at the caress.

"Are you cold?" he asked, but the sound of his voice made me think he knew I wasn't cold.

"No, I'm fine." The bastard knew what he was doing.

We walked past the front desk and the lobby area to the elevators. We stood side by side for a moment, before I looked around and realized it was strangely quite.

"It's quite," I noted, for lack of a better conversation.

"It's almost three in the morning. It should be quite."

"This is just like one of those horror movies," I told him. "The apartment building is eerily empty, a couple takes the elevator but it's broken down, forcing them to take the stairs. Little did they know what a serial killer was lurking in the shadows, just waiting for them to pass the fourth floor—"

He laughed and grabbed my hand as the doors slid open. "I'm going to talk to Alice about not letting you stay up and watch movies with her anymore."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I." He tugged on my hand again. I stepped inside and watched him press sixth floor button. We watched the light click over the floors as we rose in silence.

As we passed between the second and third floor, I decided to break the ice. I looked up at him through my lashes and bit my lower lip. "I'm still mad at you, you know," I told him.

His eyes cast downwards at me, making my heart accelerate. "Okay."

"You're still a pompous asshole," I informed him, my tone considerably warmer.

He cocked his head to the right slightly and smiled. "And you're still an uncompromising bitch." I felt heat pool my cheeks, but he placed his hands on my hips and pulled them roughly in contact with his. I started to tingle and feel heat _everywhere._ I wanted so badly just to ground my hips into his and tell him to take me, but my emotions were on haywire after tonight, so I decided against it. I really just wanted to let my eyes flutter closed and let the tingling and the heat consume my body. "Truce?" he asked.

I nodded. Feeling slightly lifted, I decided to change the course of conversation. "So why is the ending of your song giving you trouble?" I asked.

"Because the ending is what sticks with you. If it's not good then it doesn't matter how great the rest of the song is—no one will remember it." His voice was thick with emotion and passion and the sound of it turned my legs into mush.

The doors slid open and we exited, not really speaking as we made the journey down the slender hallway. His hands left my hips but soon found my hand instead.

We paused outside of the door as I fiddled with the keys in my hand. "Do you want to come in?" I asked him, trying to stall.

He rocked back on his heels and released me, shoving his hands into his front pockets. "I, uh…" he cleared his throat and avoided my gaze. "I should be getting home, it's late."

_Strike one._

I nodded. "Are you sure? Your apartment is over ten blocks from here…you could get some water…"

He let out a humorless laugh and shook his head. "It's not that far. Besides, I'll catch another cab."

_Strike two._

I nodded again, racking my brain for a reason for him to stay just a little longer. "At almost three in the morning?"

"The best cab drivers drive at night—they have the best stories."

_Strike three._

_Three strikes you're out, Swan. _"Well, thank you for helping me get home," I said awkwardly. "And for the late night snack," I added.

"My pleasure."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "You didn't have to."

His eyes were trained on my keys. "But I wanted to." Slowly he lifted his gaze to mine. A lump formed in my throat as his eyes roamed over my face as if they were searching for something.

My heart started to pound widely in my chest and suddenly I felt completely sober as if someone had given me a shot of adrenaline. Edward's eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and then back again. I wasn't sure if he was silently asking permission or if he was giving me a warning.

_Oh God, yes._

Very slowly like it was almost torture, Edward lowered his head toward mine.

Except his lips didn't come in contact with what I hoped they would.

He pressed a very sweet kiss to my forehead while tangling his right hand in my now curl-less hair. I sucked in a harsh breath as I felt my skin begin to tingle from the contact.

"Good night, Bella," he cooed against my skin. He pulled away and offered me a half smile while biting the side of his lip.

"Good night, Edward…"

He left and started walking towards the elevator. I leaned against the doorframe, watching him leave, feeling like my heart was about to explode. Before he let himself through the sliding doors, he turned back to look at me and met my gaze.

It was kind of odd.

His green eyes met my brown ones and, like usual, we didn't look away. But this exchange was different from any other we'd ever had. For a moment, we were caught in this awkward staring glance type thing. But then he did the most amazing thing right as he turned away.

He smiled. Really smiled—both corners turned up towards the ceiling, the dimples prominent in his cheeks, upper teeth grazing his bottom lip, and emotion and light flashed across his eyes.

And that smile was enough to send me into my apartment grinning like a fool.

***

**So they fought and made up...without the make up sex. Hell, what about sex in the middle of the fight? Mmm, that might be better... Oh trust me lovelies, it will come. All in good time ;) **

**I originally was going to have Edward's nickname in this article, but then decided that Bella had to see this side of him in order for it to fully make sense. **

**Review!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay guys…finals are next week and then it's summer so that should get the ball rollin'. :)**

**I don't own Twilight or anything Twilight related, except my very own Team Edward shirt. Be jealous ;) **

**Ch 8 should be up much faster than this one!**

******

**Bella**

_In any new relationship there are certain questions that must be answered. Some can be deal breakers, some can seal the deal. One of the questions I hate to ask because I dread the answer? "Any crazy ex-girlfriends?"_

_Ah, yes, the crazy ex's. _

_If a guy admits to having a batty old fling, it usually sends me out the door. I don't want some chick plotting to jump me because I met up with her ex for drinks. No sex is worth that to me._

_But there's a question that most women usually are scared to ask themselves: Am _I_ the crazy ex?_

_Over time, I've found some for sure ways that will make sure you're not the erratic chick he'll be warning someone about._

_Before the break up there are about four things to keep in mind not to do. First, don't tell him you love him within the first week. We women live by our emotions, yes, and when we feel it, we feel it, but this will creep the dude out. _

_Second, don't plan your future with him. Men come with the invisible label of "Commitment phobic" so don't test them. Third, don't cling to him; they need their air and space, so give them a little breathing room. _

_And fourthly, don't ask for him not to break up with you when they're breaking up with you. _

_After the break up, forget him. Delete his number from your phone so you won't be tempted to call or text him. Don't overly apologize. If you feel the need to apologize, stick along the lines of, "I'm sorry this didn't work out," and leave it at that. A biggie: don't get jealous. Bashing the new chick he's with will not help out your situation. _

_And the most important yet? Don't pine after him; telling him how much you miss him will only drive him farther away. We all experience bad break ups and some of us still love our ex's deeply, but the truth of the matter is that life must move on._

_And so must you._

_My birthday was a hit. Does twenty-six entail some new friends and possibly new love interests? Your guess is as good as mine. I've made a few new good friends lately; A's J Suave, a guy I'll call the Punisher, and someone I'll refer to as Dr. Captious, or just Dr. C._

_Life is moving on; October is looming, which means winter is on its way. Take comfort in your place on chilly nights with that new fling of yours and take notice in the signs you might be sending him—no need to scare him off too soon. Remember, attract, seduce, repeat._

_-Bella Swan  
__**Sinful in Seattle**_

***

"You have plans for tomorrow night."

Rosalie tossed something light on to my stomach while I was lying on the couch watching Top Chef. I arched an eyebrow at her, but she just pointed to my stomach, so I removed my hand from behind my head and reached down to touch the firm paper.

I lifted the rectangle to my eyes and grinned. "You're kidding."

She shook her head. "Do I ever kid when it comes to football?"

I shook my head and let my eyes roam over the ticket. "How did you get these? These are amazing seats."

She shrugged, tugging another ticket out of her front pocket. "I have connections."

"Connections my ass!" I sat up quickly, the television long forgotten.

Rosalie was an avid fan of the Seattle Seahawks; I was an avid fan of being somewhere I could drink at two in the afternoon and not be judged.

"Okay, well Emmett got them."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Emmett?"

She shrugged and turned from me, hoping to appear nonchalant, but I knew better. "Yeah, a few of the players work out at his gym or something so they give him free tickets all the time."

I sat up as she walked into the kitchen. I watched her open and close drawers like she was searching for something. "So…" I started, feeling a sly smile form on my lips.

She looked up and frowned at me. "What?"

"Emmett and you seem close," I grinned, applying a nonchalant phrase, but my tone suggested otherwise.

Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head. "No, not really."

"Rose."

"Bells."

"R."

"B."

I sighed and turned away from her. "Come on! You can't give me so much shit about Edward and expect me not to return the favor."

"Speaking of which," she said, coming back into the living room with a glass of water, "how's that going?"

I rolled my eyes at her not so subtle attempt to change the subject. "It's not."

"Why not? I thought you were all for it now," she asked me, slightly confused.

"I was—no I am. But he's just sending so many mixed signals." I flipped to a different channel on the television.

"Well you spent the first month of knowing him telling him you guys were friends. You can't be upset if he doesn't get the hint right away. How about you just ask him out?" Rosalie snatched the remote out of my hand.

I shook my head. The idea of approaching Edward and explaining that I wanted to be more than just friends…I wasn't totally convinced that I could do that.

"I'm serious! Turn the flirting up a notch or something. Just pin him down at the game and kiss him."

"Like I haven't tried. We've been so close to kissing again and—" I paused in mid thought and turned my head towards her. "Game? He's coming?"

Rosalie looked at me like I had two heads. "Of course…Emmett invited the three of us because the three of them were going. I didn't think I'd have to say that."

I groaned, tugging on my hair.

"Shut up," she scolded me, pressing a pillow into my face. "And what did you mean by 'we've been so close to kissing again'?"

I felt heat rise to my cheeks. "Um…" I stuttered. I bit my lower lip and avoided her gaze. "We've…_almost_ kissed a few times."

"Few? As in three or four times?"

I raked my mind back to those memories, trying to count how many times Edward's lips almost came into contact with mine. Thinking back on it, Edward had only made two attempts to kiss me, both which were futile.

"No, just twice."

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me through apprehensive eyes. "Did you kiss him on your birthday?"

I lay back on the couch and sighed heavily in annoyance. "No." I tugged at my hair and ran my fingers through it, happy to feel the silky strands through my fingers. "I wanted to but when he dropped me off he kissed my forehead."

She cringed. "Forehead?" I nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed and ready for the conversation to be over with. "Ouch. Have you talked to him since then?"

The truth was I hadn't. It had been about two and a half weeks since my birthday. I hadn't been avoiding him like I was earlier in the month—this time it was completely unintentional. I wanted to run into him and talk to him but I never seemed to see him. I was so wrapped up in work and just stuff in general that I hadn't seen much of anyone in the past few weeks.

"No, I suppose I haven't." I sighed, sitting up again and turning off the television.

"Just talk to him."

I sighed and looked away from her. Suddenly I wanted the following night to come faster than ever. "What time does the game start?" I asked with a small smirk.

*

"I want a foam finger," Alice told me, tugging onto the back of my plaid button down.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and huffed at no one in particular.

I crossed my arms over my chest, hitching my purse higher up on my shoulder before swatting her hand away from my favorite shirt. "Then get one."

Alice tsked at me, shaking her head. "Like I would spend four dollars on a piece of foam."

Rosalie turned down an isle towards our seats without saying a word. I wandered down the concrete hallway before the stadium opened up around us. She glanced back down at the ticket in her hand before climbing up the flight of stairs.

"They're here already," she murmured. I glanced up and saw Emmett on his feet yelling already, Edward at the edge of his seat, and Jasper on his blackberry furiously texting away.

Suddenly, Edward turned his head to speak to Emmett and caught sight of us. He waved, one corner of his lips twitching up into the crooked smile I was growing fond of. Alice pushed past us to rush to Jasper. Rose rolled her eyes and continued climbing the stairs.

"Hey!"

Alice immediately sat at Jasper's side, and he didn't miss a beat; as soon as she was seated his arm wound around her shoulders. Edward stood from his seat next to Emmett and offered it to Rosalie. She smiled in response and thanked him before settling herself down in it.

Edward just grinned at me and grabbed my wrist, forcing me into the seat next to Rosalie as he sat down on my left.

"Hi," he cooed.

I grinned at his over eagerness. "Hey," I drawled.

He released my wrist and turned back to the game, but I noticed every once in a while he would cast a glance in my direction.

I wasn't the biggest football fan. Not that I couldn't enjoy the game, but rather I enjoyed it so much more when I had beer in my system. So deciding I needed to get a head start, I rose out of my seat.

Rosalie arched an eyebrow at me. "Where are you going?"

"I need a beer."

"It's one fifteen," she informed me.

I just shrugged and made my way past her. I had crossed in front of Jasper and Alice when Edward was suddenly behind me with his warm hand pressed to the small of my back. I looked back at him quizzically but he replied, "I want one too."

Edward followed me until the crowds cheers were no longer ringing in our ears. His hand never left the small of my back and despite the cool air whipping around us, his hand was burning into my skin.

I chanced a glance at him. His eyes were cast forward but he was chewing on the inside of his cheek fervently. "So," I said dully, not really sure of what to say to him. The last time I had seen him was when he had rejected me at my front door. Lord only knows what _could _have happened if he had just came into the damned apartment like I'd asked...

"So," he replied, grinning. He inched his hand around my back and let it wrap loosely around my waist. "I haven't seen you lately."

I reveled in his touch. "Yeah," I murmured, sounding more breathless than I meant to. "I've been busy. You know, my job is so demanding," I added with an eye roll.

He laughed. "Obviously." He led us to a refreshment stand and stood in line, keeping his arm around me the entire time.

"I've been good," I stumbled over the words, and then blushed, because I realized he hadn't asked me how I was. "I mean…how are you?"

He shook his head, smiling. "Perfect."

_Perfect. Perfect because he spent the last two weeks not seeing you or because he's seeing you now?_

Gah. Stop Bella.

I mentally smacked myself on the forehead and forced a smile up at him. I tried to calm my erratic breathing before I had an aneurism.

Sighing deeply in frustration, I closed my eyes.

He looked at me strangely for a moment before he placed his other arm around me and brought me closer to him. My breathing sped up, coming in shorter pants than it was before. His thumb hooked into the waist of my jeans, coming in contact with my bare skin. His eyes were locked on my lips and narrowed as I licked them nervously.

Suddenly he pulled me out of line and tugged me away from the refreshment stand. He stopped at secluded area a few feet away from the stand, before shoving me up against the concrete wall, putting his body flesh with mine. I gasped at the sensation, before I moaned in approval. His lips met mine in wild abandon, leaving a trail of fire from my mouth down to whatever skin he could get a hold of. He growled into the crook of my neck, nipping at my soft flesh.

His hand traveled up the hem of my shirt, slipping under my wife beater while his other hand sneaked around my button down to grasp my hip. His thumb slid across the lace of my bra, before he withdrew it and returned it to its earlier position to my waist. Edward ground his hips against mine, letting me feel his delicious arousal through the front of his jeans.

"Bella?"

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

I _had _to stop with the fantasies. Edward was looking at me in the most peculiar way as if I admitted I had two heads. I blushed, wondering if I had accidentally moaned out loud. He just grinned, his thumb brushing my side through my shirt, and asked, "Hungry?"

_For food? Not at the moment. For you? Always._

I smiled seductively, placing my hand between his well defined pecks and letting it trail down to his stomach, letting it rest lightly there. "I'm feeling ravenous."

His eyes widened slightly before a grin graced his lips and he tucked me further into his side.

Edward ordered the two of us beers and a bag of popcorn. I tried to get him to get the small bag but he insisted, saying that if we were sharing then he'd have to get the large; apparently the man love his popcorn.

He also paid, which I protested greatly, but he ignored me and pushed me out of the way to hand his credit card over. Much to my disappointment, Edward's hands were full with his beer and the popcorn, meaning his arm couldn't resume its task of warming my waist.

I scowled the rest of the way back to our seats.

When we returned, Alice and Jasper were no where to be seen. Rosalie and Emmett were sipping on beers of their own and chatting about a player that trains at his gym.

The game continued somewhat uneventfully until it was almost over. Alice and Jasper never returned back to their seats, but Rose and I had a hunch they were far to busy to be bothered.

Edward leaned back into his seat, placing my partially filled plastic cup in his now empty one. I tried not to notice that he was watching me but I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise.

I heard him shift in his chair and lean towards me. Less than a second later, I felt his hot breath blow across my neck as he whispered, "You look nice today."

I blushed deeply at his compliment. "Thanks," I muttered. I didn't chance looking at him, at the slight possibility that I would get locked in staring at those emeralds.

"I like your blush," he noted, leaning away a little bit but not quite enough.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks," I told him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. We were quiet for a few more minutes, just watching the ball get thrown back and forth across the field and wincing whenever someone got brutally tackled.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked. He looked past me at Rosalie who wasn't facing us but had perked up at our conversation. I wanted to shove her away and tell her to fuck off, but I decided against it.

"Nothing," I said softly. He didn't seem to buy it but he dropped the topic and started to flag down an employee that could grab him another beer.

I wanted to know what _he _was thinking as he was pounding back the little plastic cups full of beer. After noticing his fourth empty cup in his cup holder, I gently wound my hand around his wrist.

"Edward, how many have you had?"

He looked down at the cup in his hand and then glanced over at the pile of empty ones. "Five," he answered cheekily.

"You feel good?" I giggled, knowing that four and a half beers probably didn't do much to him, but how fast he was consuming them he had to be feeling a slight buzz.

He grinned and downed the rest of his beer. He held up his hands in defeat, chuckling. "I'm a little buzzed. Besides Jasper drove us here."

I rolled my eyes and averted them back to the game. Edward spent the rest of the game leaning on our joined armrest, making silly comments or trying to annoy me.

Towards the end of the last quarter, I had completely lost interest of the game. Emmett and Rosalie were yelling profanities to the field and we had still yet to see Alice or Jasper return to our seats. I crossed my legs and leaned into Edward.

"Write about any good sex lately?"

I jerked my eyes up to his. "Excuse me?"

He chuckled nervously and started to shake his head. "No, no. God, that's not what I meant. I was trying to be funny but it didn't come out that way."

I smiled at him. "No, it's okay. You just surprised me a little…"

"I guess I don't think before I speak sometimes," he admitted, running a hand through his copper locks.

I shrugged, "I think more people shouldn't think about what they say. Say what is exactly on their minds in the moment, because who knows whenever they'll have a chance to do that again. Most people never say what they were thinking."

"What do you mean?" he leaned his head slightly towards me to hear me better. Someone intercepted a pass, making the stadium erupt in applause and cheers. Rosalie and Emmett shot to their feet, yelling on the top of their lungs, while I just turned my head to look at him.

My hands twisted in my lap. "Like…if we suddenly discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every single person would be on their cell phones calling other people to stammer that they loved them or that they were sorry, because no one ever has the guts to say exactly what's on their mind in the moment. We focus too much on the consequences or rejection..."

His green eyes bore into mine, effectively making my heart skip a beat. I swallowed audibly at the lingering truth in my words as a touchdown occurred, making Rosalie scream and jump next to me. Edward leaned towards me slightly and whispered, "Do you say what you're thinking?" with his voice husky and low.

"I edit," I admitted.

I looked away from his eyes for a half a second. But when I returned to look at him, his eyes looked sad. "I wish you wouldn't."

"Edward—"

"Bella—"

We both cut each other off and began to laugh nervously. He sucked in a deep breath and said evenly, "Bella, I need to ask you something."

My lips parted to answer, but I never got the chance. Instead I was ripped up form my seat by Emmett to be pulled into a hug with Rosalie. I hugged her back, silently cursing her actions but I knew it wasn't intentional; she had stopped listening to our conversation a few minutes ago. As I pulled away, I locked eyes with Edward again. They were trained on me, regardless of the fact that he had bumped fists with Emmett and they were both deep in victorious conversation.

"Let's go celebrate!" Alice piped up, returning with Jasper at her side.

I arched an eyebrow at her. "You missed half the game."

Jasper shrugged and lifted his jacket from the chair he occupied. "We got distracted."

I heard Emmett gag and saw Edward's face twist into a look of disgust from the corner of my eye. "Dude—our sister. Never again."

Jasper just grinned, and crossed his heart with his index finger.

"I like Alice's idea," Rosalie informed us. "Let's celebrate the Seahawks win!"

My eyes searched for Edward, but Emmett was already dragging him from the stadium, without even glancing back at me.

We agreed to meet up with the guys at a local pool bar that wasn't far from either of our apartments. I somehow had evaded Rosalie's prying thoughts; Alice's mouth as running a mile a minute the second we sat down in the car, not leaving even half a second for Rose or me to get a word in.

Edward avoided me the rest of the night like I had the plague. _Dr. C's asshole side has come out to play. Jerk._

I was growing frustrated and was taking it out on my drinks. Emmett and Rosalie seemed happily drunk, celebrating with all the other sports fanatics in the bar. Alice had just grabbed Jasper to "teach" her how to play pool, while I was leaning against the bar trying to survive long enough so I could go home sometime soon.

I noticed a few attractive women, probably a little younger than me, flock around where Edward was at the darts. He rubbed the back of his head as they flirted and giggled, and if I knew right, he looked uncomfortable. He turned his head to meet my eyes, and not wanting to be caught starring, I snapped my head down to my drink.

_Sooo bad, Bella._

I felt someone lean against me and brush their shoulder against mine. I glanced up to see bright green eyes smiling at me. "Hey."

I nodded and took a sip. "How's your fan club?" I asked, noticing how all of the women except one were sending not so subtle glares at me.

"I don't know. I don't care," he answered honestly, leaning into my ear a little.

I groaned silently. His whole Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde complex was beginning to frustrate me.

"Alice already knows how to play pool, doesn't she?"

I looked over at their table and nodded. "Why?"

"Because no one that had no idea what they were doing could have made that shot she just did," he stated.

"Oh." I sipped my drink again. "What did you need to ask me?"

He blinked at me for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"At the game…you said you needed to ask me something."

"Oh!" Realization swept across his face, along with faint blush. "It was nothing, don't worry about it."

I bit my lip and held my mouth shut, because deep down I had a feeling it was anything but _nothing_.

Edward tipped his beer back and nudged his shoulder with mine again. "Do you have plans for tomorrow?"

I stirred my drink, watching the ice rotate in a circle before meeting his gaze. "Not really."

He laughed and shook his head. He looked to watch Rosalie grab Alice from her game and began dancing to the song that came on the jute box, and Emmett walk over to Jasper and begin discuss about a new game of pool. "You're the only person I know that will answer a yes or no question with something besides a yes or no."

I sipped out of the straw. "Does that bother you?"

"No, actually," he leaned against the bar to face me, his elbow against the smooth wood surface. "I quite like it."

I rolled my eyes at him without moving my position of facing the pool table. "You were saying?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, tomorrow. No plans?"

I grinned. "No."

He inhaled deeply, making my heart sputter in anticipation. "Would you…um, go somewhere with me?"

"Go somewhere?" I repeated his words.

He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I have something to show you."

My heart swooned slightly. So was this like…a date he was asking me on?

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"I don't like surprises."

"So I've heard," he said dryly.

I scowled at his beautiful face. "Fine, I'll go with you. What are you showing me?"

He didn't say anything. Instead he pressed his lips to a thin line and acted like he was locking the secret up and throwing away the key. I sighed and pushed against his chest with my palm. "Fine, I'll go. Just no funny business." I walked away from him to join Alice and Rosalie. When I turned to cast him a glance from over my shoulder, he winked at me while taking another sip of his beer.

_Oh, I __do hope there will be plenty of funny business tomorrow, Mr. Cullen._

*

The next day, Edward arrived at my apartment at promptly three thirty in the afternoon. He didn't call like I had expected; instead he actually walked up to the door and knocked. When I answered the door he was wringing his hands nervously in front of him.

It made me grin.

"You ready?" he asked with a slight tremor in his voice.

"Yeah."

We walked all the way to the lobby and actually turned down the street to his waiting Volvo. It was sleek and silver, obviously built for comfort _and _speed. He opened the passenger door for me and shutting it behind me after I slipped inside.

He slithered into the car before cranking it and shifting it into first gear, and skillfully pulling away from the curb.

"Where are we going?" I tried again.

He grinned over at me and shook his head. "We'll be there soon enough."

I huffed in annoyance, making him laugh, and crossed my arms over my chest.

I had expected that if we got into the car we would be leaving the down town area, but instead Edward whipped the car into the University of Washington's parking lot. I glanced around at the familiar buildings as we passed them, throwing him looks of confusion.

"What are we doing here?"

"You'll see."

He pulled in front of the Auditoriums, parked the car and exited before I had a chance to utter another question. My door opened and a large hand was extended to help me out.

"What are we doing here?" I tried again.

"Shhh, Bella." Edward didn't say anything else; he grabbed my hand and led me toward the large front doors before pushing them open.

The campus was almost completely disserted, seeing that it was a Sunday afternoon and most people would either be in their dorm rooms or in the library.

As we entered the large lit up room, my eyes zeroed in on the large grand piano on sitting on the stage. I felt his hand pull mine and start to inch me forward as I zoned out on him.

"…remember, right?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, what?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Sit here," he indicated on the piano bench. I hadn't even realized we had gotten on stage somehow. I sat where he told me and watched as he settled beside me.

"I wanted you to hear this," he said softly, running his fingers lightly over the black and white keys, before pressing against them softly.

The loveliest sound filled my ears: Edward's music. It was faint and soft, yet strong and powerful at the same time. His hands worked in perfect harmony, creating the beautiful music that was floating around me.

My breath caught in my throat at all of it. As if I needed another reason to like Edward, here he was, practically throwing it in my face. My face heated as I watched him more intently.

His brows were furrowed in concentration, his lower lip was moist from running his tongue over it and his right cheek was pulled in slightly, like he was chewing on it nervously.

I'm not sure how long Edward played the piano. I assumed it wasn't for more than four or five minutes, but I never wanted it to end. The tune was slightly familiar, but as it grew to a close, the ending became something new I couldn't place.

It grew slower and sweeter, with light notes hitting chords that made my heart sing.

With the final note, Edward hung his head slightly, not removing his hand from the key, letting the note ring and fade into the empty room.

"Edward," I breathed. I was at a complete loss of words. He glanced up at me and his eyes widened. He cupped my cheeks, running his thumb over my wet cheeks to wipe away the tears.

I didn't even realize I had been crying.

"It's beautiful…" I said so softly I doubted he heard me.

"I'm glad you think so," he whispered, his gaze flickering between my eyes and lips. My heart started to beat frantically in my chest. "It's for you."

"M-me?" I stuttered, my eyes widening slightly as he leaned in closer to my face.

"Yes, you." He was barely away from my face, his breath hot and heavy against my lips. His breathing was a little heavier than normal and his eyes were slightly glazed over. "Happy belated birthday, Bella."

My breath caught in my throat. "This…" I took in a much needed breath. "This is my present?"

He nodded, his nose brushing against mine. My skin started to tingle as he swept his thumb across my cheek again. He tilted his head slightly to the side as I felt a gentle tug behind my head, pulling me closer to him.

_Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Finally._

"Bella, I…" he whispered, his lips so close to mine I could almost taste him.

"Edward…"

With one last breath, I felt his lower lip brush against mine. It felt like my heart stopped beating and had jumped up into my throat. My pulse throbbed in my ears, my hand rested on his chest, and my eyes fluttered close. And he hadn't really kissed me yet.

"Bella," he breathed against my mouth, brushing his lower lip across mine again. I felt his hand fist into my hair.

It took every ounce of self control I had not to latch on to him and thrust my tongue into his mouth.

I felt him take my lower lip lightly between his lips and press a kiss to it. My mind became hazy and completely non-functional as I felt him nip at my lip slightly.

Tired of his tender caress, I pushed my lips firmly to his. It wasn't rushed or forced, just Edward and me, putting everything we couldn't say into this kiss.

My hands went on to his shoulders. My lips molded to his, feeling like smooth velvety silk against my skin. My heart stuttered in my chest, making my hands grip him a little too tightly, sending my nails into his skin.

He groaned, pulling me closer to his body by tightening his hand in my hair. His left hand swept across my cheek to hold my face to his. I refrained from squealing like a little girl; he was kissing me.

_Finally. This is so much better than the day dreams._

Suddenly I felt Edward's tongue slip across my lower lip. I parted mine to grant him access, and whimpered slightly as I felt him slide into my mouth.

Our kiss grew hungry and urgent and suddenly his hands were roaming, leaving my face and hair to rest on my hips. He gripped my waist firmly, sliding me closer to him so I was touching his legs with my knee.

I moaned into his mouth, my hands fisting into his glorious bronze locks, trying to plant his face to mine.

I didn't realize I needed to stop for air until Edward suddenly pulled away panting for air. My chest was heaving and I was feeling slightly dizzy from the lack of oxygen to my brain. He stared at me, his dark eyes smoldering, before his tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip.

Before I knew what was happening, I was being lifted from the bench. He grabbed my waist tightly and set me up on the piano. My ass hitting the black and white keys, sending a cringing sound echoing throughout the room. My feet were on either side of his hips as he ran his hands up the top of my thighs, pulling my legs farther apart while staring at me with his emerald pools.

He wasn't saying anything and neither was I. Right now, my body was saying more than I ever could. Between my thighs was throbbing for him, my heart was about to take off like a helicopter blade, and my eyes were heavy lidded.

Edward ran his hand up to my hip, slipping his thumb under my shirt and running it over my skin. I shivered from the contact. I took him in; his hair was disheveled more than normal, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips swollen and pink. I bit my bottom lip as his hand reached around to my back, rubbing soft circles on top of my spine.

I wanted him to kiss me again. Deciding that I didn't want to wait for him, I reached out and grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged his face towards mine.

He hissed in pain but got the point. His hands grabbed my hips again and he pulled me off the keys down to his lap, grinding his obvious arousal into my center. I moaned, before latching my mouth back to his.

He didn't ask for permission this time as he stuck his tongue in my mouth. They fought for dominance, massaging and working each other, while our fingers and hands worked the rest of our bodies.

I had to break the kiss this time, realizing that I did in fact need to breathe. Edward's lips didn't leave my skin; he planted wet open mouthed kisses down my jaw to my ear lobe, grazing his teeth against the flesh.

"Bella…" he growled, sucking the soft skin right under my ear. I gasped and threw my head back, feeling every nerve on my skin being set on fire.

His hot lips let a trail down my neck until he bit down softly at my shoulder. I rocked my hips towards his, groaning when I was rewarded with the delicious feeling of him bucking his hips towards me.

My fingers clumsily went to work at his t-shirt. They trailed over his sculpted chest, feeling every dip and curve of his muscles, and down to his waist where I slipped my hands under the hem. He moaned into my neck at the feel of his skin on mine and forced his head up to take my lips in his.

Our kiss was interrupted by a buzzing sound coming from Edward's hip. His lips froze against mine but he didn't break the contact. His hands were gripping my hips tightly with his fingertips digging into my skin. He ignored it for about ten seconds before letting out an extremely frustrated sigh and opening his eyes to meet mine. We stared at each other for a moment, our lips partly touching, before he groaned into my mouth.

"You need to get that," I stated softly, pulling away a little bit from him.

"It could be nothing," he whispered, his lips moving slightly against mine. My own lips were beginning to tingle from the constant contact.

"Or it could be something…" I told him.

He sighed again, loosening his grip on my hips. He pulled his face away from mine and pulled the pager from his hip. I leaned back from his torso, still straddling his lap, and brought my hand up to my lips to make sure they were still attached; they currently felt like they were on fire.

"Fuck." Edward ran a hand through his hair as he stared at the screen of the pager. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." His voice was strained as he whipped out his cell phone and started to dial a number.

His gaze met mine and I saw the confliction in his eyes. "Hey, Lauren? It's Edward." He paused for a few minutes, listening intently to the woman on the other end of the line rant frantically about something. "There has to be someone else." He paused, his eyes slightly narrowing at me. "No one?" He nodded a few times, grunted once, but mostly stared at me. His face was contorted in irritation, his eyes narrowed to slits and his breathing was still heavy from our erratic kissing.

"Okay, I'll be right there." He flipped the phone shut and clenched a fistful of bronze hair.

"You're going to go bald if you keep doing that," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Bella," he sighed, placing his hands back on my hips. He rubbed the material of my jeans against his palms, trying to find the right words to say. He met my eyes hesitantly. "I have to go. There's an emergency at the hospital…" he trailed off, watching me apprehensively. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head and forced a grim smile. "Don't be."

I stood from his lap with him. I turned away from him, feeling my frustration show through on my face before his hand came on my shoulder and spun me back around. He cupped my cheek again and dipped his head slightly. For a split second I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he just rested his forehead against mine for a moment, I guess enjoying the close proximity. My heart was still stammering in my chest but I relished in the closeness, feeling my lips pull into a sad smile.

"Let me take you home first—"

"Stop, Edward. You have to go. Go." I pulled away from him and turned slightly. "It's not that far of a walk. And even so I can catch a cab."

"Bella—"

"No, Edward. Go. You said there was an emergency. If something happens because you insisted to drive me home I will never forgive myself, or you. So please…go." My voice trailed off with a slight broken sob.

He was quite for a second, but eventually I heard him move across the floor and towards the door. He opened it and paused, turning back to me. "I'll…I'll call you later…or something, okay?"

"Okay." And with that he shut the door behind him.

I collapsed back on to the bench and groaned loudly in frustration. Why did this always seem to happen with him? Finally when we had kissed it was interrupted. Oh the kiss…hot and steamy and erotic doesn't seem to even explain it. My lips were still tingling from the encounter.

He had been so willing—was he trying to put the things he couldn't say into his actions? I know I was. Why else would he have written me a _song_ for my birthday? Why else would he have paid such close attention to me during the game, on my birthday, and any other time? But then why did make an exit like an awkward thirteen year old boy? Did he think it was us in some kind of moment and that it had passed? Was it? Did he just think I was a great friend and he wanted to show me that and it was just some kind of mood that washed over him that caused him to kiss me?

Rosalie was right—I needed to talk to Edward.

Sighing, I rose from the bench and made my way to the door.

He left hanging on the line every time he walked away. And as much as I hated it, I knew a part of me could never get enough.

**

**Before you say anything:**

**Captious—**apt to notice and make much of trivial faults or defects; faultfinding; difficult to please.

**Why did I use captious? Easy. When Bella wrote the article, it was right after her and Edward's blow out. Even if she was all giddy and shit when she walked into her apartment, it didn't change the fact that he jumped to conclusions, and she realized it's a part of his personality. Therefore, she nicknames him that. It'll be addressed later on, too. **

**NOW, this chapter. You've all been asking for it. "WHEN WILL THEY KISS?" You guys got a kiss, and mind you, it was an earth shattering kiss (for both of 'em), so don't be pissed when they left it like that. The story has a plot, I swear. I'm not making this up as I go along.**

**And for all of you who are like, "Bella needs to get over Jake and just snag Edward!" She is over Jake as much as she will ever be. A fiancé is a hard person to forget, trust me. **

**Ponder this thought over until chapter 8—maybe Bella isn't the **_**only**_** one with some skeletons in her closet…**

**OH! I'm going to be publishing another story within a few days…if you like SiS, you'll like this. It's a lot lighter, not so much angst, but just as witty and fun…look for it.**

**Hmmm. Leave me some lovin'.**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I love how perceptive you guys are. I'm sure most of you guys will be relieved that Lauren has no part in this story…she's just a name I picked for a nurse to call Edward to work. So no Skankren or whatever you guys called it, lol. Captiousward. Hahaha :)

Just sit back and let the story play out. That's what I'm doing. I never thought to write this chapter but looking back, I don't know how I would have _not _included it. It's 23 pages. I repeat, 23 pages.

I own nothing, okay? Nada, zip, zero.

*

**Bella**

Edward, to say the least, wasn't entirely pleased with his nickname when he read the paper on that Sunday.

He had texted me from the hospital almost immediately after I had walked home from the auditorium. I wasn't really sure what to make of the whole situation…he kissed me and then bolted. He fucking kissed me, and what a kiss it was.

Passionate, lust filled, erotic…don't begin to describe it. The way he just grabbed me and lifted me to the piano—I had to stop getting myself worked up.

_Dr. Captious? Really? -E_

I grinned.

_**Really. –B**_

_I'm not quick to judge. And I don't jump to conclusions. –E_

_**Keep telling yourself that. –B**_

_When did I ever judge you? –E_

_**My birthday. –B**_

I never got a reply after that text. At first I had assumed it was because he was busy attending to whatever "emergency" he had gotten called away for, but as dinner time fast approached, I knew that it was more of I had put him in his place and he was a little embarrassed.

I had expected to talk to Edward the next day, but he never called. He didn't text either.

Four days later, I was getting a little ticked. I had tried calling a few times, but I'm not desperate, so I refused to call him more than just two or three times over the week. But after casually mentioning to Jasper one night that I hadn't talked to him in a while, I knew something was up.

"I don't know what's up with him lately," Jasper sighed. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the back of the dining room chair. "I haven't seen him since Monday morning."

Something fishy was going on.

I sent him a few texts, but never got a reply. If it hadn't been for the fact that Alice mentioned she had lunch with him the day before, I would have thought he had gotten kidnapped or murdered.

Apparently he had gotten swamped with work, according to Alice. He barely had time to each or sleep, let alone time to hang out with anyone. So I let it go…until it was two weeks later and we still hadn't spoken since that day.

Edward was avoiding me to no end. There was no denying it anymore.

And I was pissed.

But more than pissed, I was hurt.

I liked Edward a lot; a lot more than I originally had thought. The fact that my heart was squeezing and my chest was tightening a little more every day I didn't talk to him was proof of that.

Halloween had come and gone, and Alice had thrown her famous costume party. Edward hadn't shown; he had used some excuse about having to work late that night to Alice. I had asked Jasper about it and he just rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously. "Really? Oh…uh, I don't really know…I could ask him?"

My heart was clenching. And I fucking hated it.

Was I really that horrible? I'm not repulsive, I'm funny, and I'm a good time…the guy wrote me a _song _for my flipping birthday and then avoids me like the plague for the next few weeks. _What the fuck?_

Enter Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde complex.

I thought maybe the nickname I had given him offended him and he was still pissed about it, but I shook off the thought. Captious fit him to a tee, especially now. He was either no longer interested now that he remembered how I kissed, or he was over thinking something.

Either way it wasn't cool.

I think Alice was starting to get the idea that I cared for Edward a lot more than I should. Whenever she would mention she had lunch with him or talked to him on the phone, she would watch me through careful eyes. I learned to control my reactions after the first few times but she saw. She knew. She _had _to.

Everyone had apparently seen or talked to Edward. Alice met him a couple times over the week for lunch, Emmett and Jasper always mentioned the three of them went out once in a while together, and even Rosalie bumped into him at the grocery store. Rosalie said she didn't yell at him, but I have a feeling that with how smug she was about bumping into him, she laid it on him thick.

Everyone had seen him—except me.

But it was perfectly fine; I didn't need a guy that was that flakey. He made my heart race, but he also made it hurt. And I didn't need another guy like that in my life.

"That's it," Alice barged into my room, pulling open the curtains. It would have been a great effect, except for the fact that was eight-thirty in the evening. "We're going out."

Rosalie hopped on the bed next to me and leaned into me, "The guys are going out."

I perked up. "Oh really?"

"Mhmm," she whispered. "Emmett and Jasper are making him."

"Lovely," I drawled sarcastically and watched Alice bound into my closet.

"I thought you'd be happy."

"Why would I?" I snapped. "He's been avoiding me."

"So now you get a chance to confront him!"

"Why would I want to do that?" I tugged on my hair and sighed. "Really, Rose."

She blinked at me, before pinching my leg. "Isabella Marie, you are going. I don't care if you ignore him, make out with some dude in front of him, or fucking suck him off on the dance floor." She dropped her voice to barely a whisper with the last part. She cleared her throat and then continued, "You just have to get out of this apartment, okay? It feels like it's been ages since you've left."

"And the costume party does not count!" Alice chirped.

I groaned and pulled a pillow over my eyes.

Alice emerged with a dress that was hidden in the very back of the closet. It was short, red, and low cut—hence why it was in the _very_ back. Alice turned to me with her lower lip jutted out and her shoulders hunched slightly. "Bells…" she started slowly, "isn't this the dress I bought you almost six months ago?"

"Maybe…"

"The same one I bought for you to wear on the date with the incredibly hot lawyer you had a date with?"

"Maybe…"

"The same one that when I asked what happened to it, you said the dry cleaners had set it on fire by some strange, freak accident?"

I coughed. Damnit. "Maybe."

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!"

"Okay! Sorry! I hid it in the back. That thing terrifies me."

She scoffed at me. "Why? Because it reveals more than your collar bone?"

"No, because I look like a floozy fire hydrant when I wear it." The bright red color was mocking me.

She held it up in front of her and smiled at it appreciatively. "I think it's beautiful." Of course she would. She picked it out and bought it. "And I thought you looked drop dead gorgeous in it."

"You're my best friend, Alice. It's your duty to lie to me."

"I cannot tell a lie," she said. She walked past me briskly, dropping the dress in my lap on the way. "You're wearing this tonight."

"Fine," I hissed. I wasn't in the mood to fight tonight.

After being dressed and dolled up, I was dragged from the apartment. Once we reached the club _Trinity,_ we sweet talked the bouncer and waltzed in.

I spotted the bronze hair in two point five seconds flat.

"Fuck," I groaned. Rosalie slipped her hand in mine and pulled me towards them behind Alice.

"Hey guys!" Alice sang. Edward had his back to us as he was talking to Jasper and Emmett and he noticeably stiffened. "Funny seeing you guys here," she said and winked at Jasper.

She was so subtle.

"Hey baby," Jasper cooed. He wrapped her arms around her little frame and picked her off the ground.

Suddenly Emmett grabbed me and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder and spinning me around. I screamed and my hand immediately went to cover my ass and sure enough, I was flashing the entire club. Bare ass and black lace thong for the world to see.

"Hey squirt," Emmett laughed and set me down…right in front of Edward.

His green eyes bore into mine and I nearly caught my breath—but I stopped it. Instead of acting like a love sick puppy or an arrogant bitch, I decided to act my age for once and have the upper hand.

"Hi Edward," I cooed, pulling my dress back down enough to cover my ass.

"H-hi," he stuttered. His hair looked a little flatter and his eyes were darker, like he hadn't slept in days.

I swept my hair across my shoulder and tilted my head to the side. "How are you?"

"Fine…" he was uncomfortable. Good. Let him squirm. Bella Swan doesn't get fucked with.

"That's good." I looked around the bar and noticed an empty spot. "If you'll excuse me, I need a drink…" and I left him.

Despite my racing heart and the butterflies in my stomach, I think that went really well.

I plopped down at the bar and let out the breath I had been holding. I sighed and smiled at the bartender. I ordered a martini with extra olives and gin, because I needed something strong if I was going to make it through the night unscathed.

The bartender set my drink down in front of me. "That'll be eight bucks, beautiful. Would you like to start a tab?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, thank you." I opened my purse and started to pull out my wallet.

"Allow me."

I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. Despite how loud the club was, I heard this man's voice clear like bells over the constant noise. He had somewhat cropped blonde hair, a rugged body build like he played football or rugby in college, and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen.

The bartender nodded at the guy and took the outstretched credit card. I blinked up at the man stupidly before smiling.

"You didn't have to do that."

"It was my pleasure," he cooed. He offered his hand to me. "James Smith."

"Bella Swan," I told him and shook his hand. It was large and warm, but no electricity. Regardless, he was attractive. "Thank you, James."

"Not a problem." He signed the slip and slid it back to the bartender. "Forgive me for asking, but what is a beautiful woman like you doing here without a man on her arm?"

I flushed and smiled down at my drink. "I came with some friends…" I trailed off.

He grinned at me. "Well they can't be very good friends seeing how you're all alone now."

The guy was incredibly attractive, but he had a slight creep factor to him…the way his eyes soaked me in—it unnerved me a little.

I sipped on my drink and let my eyes wander back to my friends as he spoke. They were at a table all chatting away, drinking, except one. Edward was glaring in my direction; not at me, rather the man next to me. James. His brows were completely knit together and he had a look of pure distain on his face as he watched James lean into me or watched me laugh.

As soon as my eyes locked with his, he glanced down at his drink and turned his head back towards the others.

_That's right. You don't get to play mind games with me and assume everything is okay._

I noticed Edward starring at us again and I was starting to feel a little bad for using this guy to make Edward jealous, but it was clearly working so I wasn't going to stop. I didn't even shove his hand away when he lightly rested it on my knee.

Suddenly, Edward tore his eyes away from us and threw back the rest of his drink. Emmett hollered something at him but Edward flipped him the bird and tried to shove him out of his chair. Edward left the table and started to walk towards us, taking long strides and somehow getting through the sea of people. My heart beat accelerated and the hairs on my arms started to stand on end.

"Bella Swan, would you accompany me for a dance?" James cooed.

I blushed a little. "Sure?"

He extended his hand and I took it, just as Edward approached the bar. My eyes locked with his green and I didn't look away or stop the cold look I gave him. He stood there in front of us, his eyes kind of…angry but sad. I shook it off and brushed his shoulder as I walked by. "Excuse us."

James led me to the dance floor. He was an okay dancer, but really I kept up with the raunchy moves because I knew Edward was watching from the bar and he was sucking down his drinks.

After half a song, I felt a familiar warm hand on the small of my back, making my skin tingle. I whipped around and Edward was there, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at James, the two of them having some sort of starring contest.

"May I cut in?" Edward asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm obviously dancing with her—" James snapped.

"I believe it's her decision, thanks though." He sneered at James, and then looked down at me. He leaned into my ear and whispered in a rush, "I need to talk to you."

I wanted to roll my eyes. "Okay, whatever. One dance." I turned back to James. "Thanks for that," I reached up and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before feeling Edward wind his arm around my waist and pull me away from the blonde haired blue eyed man.

Edward didn't say a word; he just pulled me so our chests were almost touching and grasped my hips almost too tightly and started to move them. We rocked in perfect sync, the beat of the music almost vibrating everything around us.

He was a good dancer. I suppose at this point in time, the fact that he was good at _anything_ should have surprised me, but it did. "Is there anything you aren't good at?" I asked before thinking.

He grinned. "I suppose not…" he leaned so his lips were at my ear and his hot breath was at my neck. "You haven't seen half of it," his lips barely grazed my ear lobe.

I shivered before I could stop myself. And then I remembered I was pissed.

I shoved against his chest. "You are _not_ allowed to do that!"

He blinked and then sighed heavily. "I know…Bella—"

"No, you listen to me, asshole. You are the most infuriating person I've ever met. I fucking kiss you and then you bolt and I don't hear from you for like what, two or three weeks? You are not allowed to act all caveman when it comes to me, and I don't even think you deserve to have me as a friend right now."

I was out of breath by the end of that. I barely registered that we had stopped dancing.

He gripped my hips a little tighter and leaned his forehead against mine. "I know, I don't deserve you," he mumbled. He pulled away to look into my eyes. "Can we talk? Elsewhere?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

We exited with barely a wave to our friends and started the walk to our apartments. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. When I started to shiver, Edward told me to hold on while he popped into a convenience store. I shuddered and leaned against the side of the building, cursing to myself.

"Fuck…" I tugged on my hair and pulled my coat tighter around me. The dress had been such a bad idea.

"You okay?"

I smiled at Edward and nodded. "Yeah…"

"Here," he handed me a steaming cup. "It's no Starbucks, but it'll warm you up."

I sipped on the hot chocolate and smiled appreciatively. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he said. He stuffed his hands into his coat pocket and sighed. Early November's air was chilly and nipping around us. "I'm sorry," he started.

"Mmm."

"I shouldn't have avoided you like that…That's not the kind of guy I am…" He groaned. "I haven't really been myself when I'm around you."

"You haven't?" My chest tightened.

"Well, kind of." He sighed again and I wanted to slap him so he'd start making sense. "I am but I always second guess myself. I don't usually put much thought into everything as I do when I'm with you."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say, so I just took another sip.

"You should know that I…just had some things to sort out," he said.

_Things? _Like…the kind of things where he has another life with three wives and thirteen kids or the kind of life where he's a serial killer with a thing for young women?

I decided at that moment, I didn't want to know. I had a feeling I might regret the decision later on, but at that moment, I was content with staying slightly oblivious.

"Okay."

"Can we just…you know…pretend that…?" he trailed off.

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to slap him hard enough to leave a bright pink outline of my hand on his cheek; but I couldn't. I couldn't and I wanted to kick myself because of it. Because until he gave me a legitimate reason not to be ga-ga over him, I was going to be head over heels. He only grinned at me and looked at me through his puppy dog eyes that made me swoon. "I guess."

With that, he swept his arm around my shoulders and tucked me into his side. I giggled and sipped my hot chocolate and reveled in his touch.

We walked the rest of the way to my apartment talking about random things that had no significance whatsoever. And when we reached the door to my building, Edward dropped me off with a small hug, allowing me to walk through the lobby alone.

As I watched him walk away, my chest tightened.

I didn't fail to notice we hadn't talked about _anything _that we needed to. But at that moment, I was okay with that.

* * *

Thanksgiving was upon us. Although Edward and I had hung out and been alone together after the night of the club, we still hadn't talked. We were both skirting around the edges, curious of who would be the first to crack and be a grown up to talk about our issues.

We were acting like fifth graders.

Alice had extended the invitation to Rosalie, Jasper, and I to join the Cullen's for their Thanksgiving dinner. Knowing Esme's cooking, we'd be stupid to turn that down.

Alice drove us in her Porsche, while Edward drove the guys in his car. We arrived before they did and were welcomed right into Esme's warm arms.

"Girls! Happy Thanksgiving!" She pulled each of us into a hug individually before ruffling Alice's hair. "How are you?"

We all mumbled our "good, and you?" then followed her into the kitchen. We could already smell the beginnings of an amazing dinner.

"This smells amazing already, Esme," Rosalie told her.

"Thank you, dear." Esme gingerly touched the thawing turkey. "Maybe another hour and it'll be good to stuff and bake."

Carlise walked into the kitchen looking more casual than I had seen him in a while; he was wearing jeans and a regular white t-shirt. He kissed the side of Alice's head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"How are my girls?"

"Fine! And you?" Alice piped.

He went off rambling about some work that was giving him trouble at the hospital but I wasn't listening. I was watching him, noticing little quirks that Edward must have picked up from him. The hand in hair thing Edward had stumbled upon; along with the rubbing his temple when something was annoying him.

Just then, the front door opened and then slammed, followed by a crash. "MA!" Emmett yelled in the foyer. "EDWARD IS ATTACKING ME!" Edward's laughter was audible through the house and a very distinct yelling of "FUCK" and then more laughter.

Esme rolled her eyes and looked at Carlise pointedly. He just stared back at her blankly. "What?"

She gestured towards the front of the house. "He's _your _son."

"Mhmm," he waltzed around the island to kiss her cheek. "It takes two to tango, love." He chuckled and walked into the foyer. "Boys if you break something I swear you'll be putting it back together with a glue stick…"

Esme turned back to us and offered us a wary smile. "Don't ever have sons," she said, before turning back to the stove.

Alice and I laughed and Rosalie just shook her head, grinning. Edward waltzed into the kitchen, his cheeks slightly flushed and his hair disheveled more than normal. "Aw, Mom, I heard that."

"Good," she told him, but you could hear the smile in her voice.

Edward reached around Esme's back and kissed the side of her head. "I love you, Ma."

"Love you too. Now shoo."

Edward glanced over at me and grinned crookedly. "Aye, aye." He walked over to where I was standing and leaned against the counter next to me. "You look nice," he noted.

I blushed slightly. I had dressed up a little; nice dark skinny jeans with a pair of new boots I had just bought, and a nice button down blouse. I'd be lying if there wasn't an ulterior motive there; I wanted to look nice for Edward, but also for Carlise and Esme. If they noticed us flirting, I wanted them to think better of me. Stupid, but it didn't make a difference.

Carlise, Emmett, and Jasper walked into the kitchen and the rest of the greetings took place. After a few minutes of light conversation, Carlise clapped his hands together. "You ready boys?"

Emmett yelled a "Fuck yes!" Jasper nodded enthusiastically, and Edward just grinned like an idiot.

"EMMETT CULLEN! Language!" Esme scolded.

"Sorry."

I cast a quizzical look at Edward, who was still grinning to his hearts content. "We have our annual Cullen men football game while Mom cooks. It's usually father against sons, when I'm here that is. The past few times it's just been Dad against Emmett." He scratched his head. "I haven't played in a few years, I'm rusty."

Jasper tossed him the football and just shook his head. "You'll be fine. Let's go."

As the boys left, Edward hesitated next to me. "Wish me luck," he cooed, before he actually walked out.

Be still my heart.

Esme assigned us tasks to help her get dinner prepared faster. Not that I minded, seeing my love for cooking, but Alice and Rosalie both weren't too thrilled with the fact that they weren't able to watch the guy's game.

Esme stopped next to Alice and me, putting her hands on her hips and biting on her lower lip. "How could I have forgotten…" She rubbed her fingers over her chin and sighed deeply.

"What's up Mom?" Alice asked.

"I forgot the cranberry sauce. I was planning on buying canned this year so I don't even have any to make from scratch…"

"I thought you said you didn't like cranberry sauce, Esme," I told her, stirring the mashed potatoes in a pan in front of me.

Esme smiled warmly at me. "I'm surprised you remembered, dear. Although I don't like it, Carlise absolutely loves it and if I don't have some here he'll be pretty disappointed—" she paused, casting a glance at the guys down in the backyard. "I'm going to run to the store. Hopefully they'll still have a can or two left, but it's worth a try. I should be back before they get done with their game. Are you girls alright here?"

There was a contingent "yes" from the three of us.

"Good. I'll be back soon." Esme grabbed her purse and car keys and slipped out the garage door.

Rosalie turned to Alice, "Does Carlise like cranberry sauce _that _much?"

She rolled her eyes and nodded. "It's a male Cullen thing. Emmett and Edward love it too. I'm with Mom—it's disgusting."

"Huh," was my brilliant reply.

I continued working my magic on the mashed potatoes, pushing them with the masher, and then adding ingredients while Alice shoved the turkey into the oven. "How long does this thing cook?"

"The _turkey _takes over an hour."

"Whatever," she flipped her hair and looked down in the backyard. "Jasper looks hot."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and put the rolls in the other oven.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang as the backdoor slammed shut. The guys' laughter filled the living room and continually got louder until they were standing in front of the three of us. Carlisle's normally perfect blonde hair was disheveled, Emmett was almost completely covered in mud, Jasper's hair was _everywhere_ and Edward was covered in dirt. All four of them were drenched in sweat and their cheeks were bright pink.

"Where's your mother?" Carlise asked Alice. He walked over to the sink and washed his hands.

"She ran to the store," she told him. "She uh…wanted more stuffing."

The look on Carlise face made me think that he didn't believe her but he just nodded anyway. "Alright. I'm going to hop in the shower and then finish some paperwork." He smiled at Rosalie and me before glancing back at the boys and narrowing his eyes. "_Behave."_

Jasper crossed his heart with his finger, Edward grinned crookedly at him, and Emmett feigned shock that he would ever assume they were anything less than angels.

Yeah, right.

As soon as Carlise had headed upstairs, the three of them were swarming us, trying to get to some of the food and partially trying to annoy us.

Edward hopped up on the counter that was next to me. I stared up at him, in all his muddy glory, and was about to tell him to get down as Alice snapped at him.

"Mom will kill you."

Edward's grin grew. "Mom isn't here," he sang, gesturing that there was only us six in the kitchen. Alice cocked her hip to the side and glared at him.

"You're going to get dirt on the cabinets. Those were imported from Italy."

He rolled his eyes and ignored her, instead nudging me with his dirty toe.

"Edward Anthony I swear—"

"Fine," he murmured. He tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and lifted it off his head, leaving his cleaner chest and back completely bare. "Better?"

I heard Alice sigh. "I didn't mean for you to get naked. Really, Edward, you'll find any reason to take your shirt off."

"Actually that's Emmett." Edward met my eyes and I felt my heart try to escape up my throat. His eyes were positively melting me into a heap of nothingness on his mother's kitchen floor. _Get a grip! _"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi."

"What are you making?"

I felt myself beginning to feel light headed from starring into his eyes so I let my eyes wander. _Bad idea, Bella. _I let my eyes follow the smooth line of his jaw and neck, across his collar bone to his very defined chest, and further down to the rippled skin of his stomach, and down to that luscious V that I had been day dreaming about more and more often. Just a little further and…

I jerked my eyes back to the pot in front of me. I stared at it and chanted furiously in my head, "_I will not look at his body again. I will not look at his body again." _I nearly groaned and tried to make the image of his perfect upper half vanish from my mind.

I really thought I was deeper than that.

"Mashed potatoes," I muttered, embarrassed.

"My favorite," he told me happily.

I quirked an eyebrow in his direction because I still couldn't muster up the courage to look at him. "I thought your favorite was cranberry sauce."

I saw him open his mouth and then shut it out of the corner of my eye. "How did…" he put most of his weight on his left hand and leaned closer to me and shook his head. "Cranberry is a close second."

"Well then I'll be sure to be extra careful not to screw them up," I teased him.

I'm pretty sure he was trying to get me to look at him, the way he was leaning forward and how he was talking, but I wouldn't budge that easily. He had to put a shirt back on before I could look at him again without my mind taking me straight to the gutter.

"I'm sure you're doing an excellent job." He reached and took the spoon out of my hand. He stirred it a few times before dropping it on the counter between us. He tilted his head to the left and watched me for a few minutes without saying anything.

Well shit. Now that he took the spoon from me, I had nothing to do with the potatoes. I glanced up at his face and felt the air leave my lungs all at once. His lips were tugged into a full smile.

"Emmett! Gross, get off of me!" Rosalie shrieked. I turned around to see Emmett picking Rosalie up around the waist and lifting her off the ground which effectively got some mud on to her.

Jasper was leaning on the counter next to Alice, watching Emmett and Rose while passing a water bottle back and forth. When they finally realized people were watching, Emmett shrugged and grinned while I _swear_ I saw blush tint her cheeks.

Rosalie Hale does not blush. Ever.

I felt my lips tug slightly at the thought. Edward nudged me with his muddy foot and said, "What?"

I blinked up at him blankly. "Huh?"

He chuckled softly and tried again. "What were you smiling at?"

"Oh," I glanced back at Rosalie and Emmett who were discussing the football game that had been on earlier in the afternoon. I nodded in their direction and told him, "I'll tell you later."

Edward nodded, seeming like he understood what I meant. He dipped one finger into the mashed potatoes and brought it back up to his lips. "It needs something," he mumbled, suddenly distracted.

"What?"

He hopped off the counter and started to rummage through the spice cabinet, grumbling something to himself as he picked up little cylinders and then put them back down. "Here," he said. He held up little container in his hand and made his way back towards me. "Add this."

I took it from him and frowned. "Are you serious?" Paprika. I shook my head and handed it back to him. "You can add it to your own. Don't pull that shit with me, I know Emmett's sensitive to spicy things."

"Paprika isn't spicy!" Edward told me, trying to dump some in to pot.

"Stop!"

"Why should I?" he asked, holding the spice over my head and watched me try to reach for it. "Whose going to stop me? You?"

"Yeah, me," I jumped up to grab the spice but he just lifted it out of my reach. Desperate, I grabbed his side and started tickling him.

"Fuck!" he yelled and dropped the spice on the floor. It didn't shatter—thank God—but everyone kind of stared at us for a second as Edward was laughing and trying to tickle me back. "Game on, Swan," he panted and latched on to my side.

Edward was _a lot_ stronger than I was. He bound both of his wrists with his left hand while his right went to my side and started tickling my ribs. "S-stop!" I cried.

"No," he cooed. He let go of my hands and I beat my fists against his chest but all he did was laugh and start tickling my other side.

I was sure everyone was probably laughing at me, and in all honesty, I was laughing at myself. I hadn't laughed like this in a while and damn, it felt good.

Desperate to get Edward to stop, I reached behind me and picked up the spoon that still had some mashed potatoes on it and brought it in front of me.

"What are you—" he started but didn't finish.

I pulled back the spoon and let it go forward—but it didn't hit Edward. He had been _inches _from my face and I had missed. Instead, I had hit the side of Emmett's face.

Edward stopped his assault on me and glanced around at his brother, grinning. Emmett and Edward looked at each other for a moment, before Emmett grabbed one of the rolls Rosalie had just taken out and plummeted it at Edward's head.

"Hey, I just baked those!"

Edward turned his back quickly to block it from me. He tensed when it hit the back of his head before he reached in and grabbed another spoonful of potatoes and flung it back at him.

But this time it didn't hit him. It hit Rosalie.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks and watched cautiously as Rose's face turned from white…to pink…to red. And then she took a roll and threw it at Edward's package.

"Hey!" he yelled and then grabbed some more.

Somehow, Alice and Jasper had started throwing stuff at each other and suddenly I got pelted with a roll and got some stuffing in my hair.

Edward lifted me on the counter and stood in front of me to try and block me as well as he could while I tossed stuff to the other four. They had all retreated into corners as our food fight had gotten a little out of hand.

Food fight. Oh my God, I was twenty six and having my first food fight. In the Cullen's kitchen. On Thanksgiving.

If I wasn't having so much fun, I would have had a heart attack.

"INCOMING!" Edward yelled, seeing Emmett grab a handful of green beans and aim them at us. He grabbed me off the counter and we tumbled to the floor, just as a huge glob of beans smashed against the cabinet, right where my head had been.

Edward was laughing; I was laughing. He had somehow ended up on top of me and we were both breathing heavily, sending our chests crashing into each other with each breath we took. Suddenly his smile faded slightly and his pupils dilated and his gaze flickered from my eyes to my lips.

He maneuvered his hand from the floor to wrap around my cheek and slowly lowered his face to mine. Despite our last kiss, I was just as giddy to be kissing him as I was the first time.

He hesitated slightly, hovering over me, and then shut his eyes and pressed his lips to mine.

I went up to grab his hair and twisted my fingers into it, feeling something gooey and mushy that had worked its way in there. His lips were soft and smooth, and his kiss was light and teasing.

We didn't kiss long. After a few moments of tenderness, he pulled away and smiled, licking his lips and sighing. "I've missed that…" he whispered.

My heart was thundering in my chest so loudly I think he heard it because he smirked at me and brushed his nose against mine.

I grinned and tried to open my mouth so say something coherent when there was a voice clearing in the doorway.

It just registered with me that we had been kissing in the same room with everyone else. My face heated and I looked up in the doorway to see Esme and Carlises' astonished faces.

"What the hell is going on?" Carlise asked. His eyes skimmed over Alice and Jasper on the counter to Rosalie and Emmett by the oven, to the food that was everywhere, and then finally to Edward and I on the floor, somewhat tangled with each other.

I pushed Edward up a little and he complied, sitting up and helping me up so I could lean against the dishwasher.

"We uh…" Emmett rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor, much like a little boy would do. "Sorry?"

Esme looked around the room and then frowned. "At least the turkey survived."

"Sorry Mom," Edward said as he stood. He put his hands in his pockets and grinned sheepishly.

She just sighed and set the can down on the counter. "Come on dear," she took Carlises' hand in hers. "Let's go see if we can run to the store for some pre-made side dishes…" she cast a narrowed glare at the six of us. "I expect this to look tremendously better by the time we get back."

"Of course, Ma," Emmett snickered.

They left the room, but we all remained completely silent until we heard the shut of the front door and the purr of the Mercedes come to life. And then we went nuts.

We couldn't stop laughing. Edward sunk back down to the floor clutching his sides, Jasper lay back on the counter, Rosalie was crying and Emmett was doubled over.

Alice and I just kind of giggled while staring at everyone else.

Edward rested against the cabinet and shot a glance over at me. "I haven't laughed that much in a while."

"I need a shower," Jasper groaned, pulling Alice to lay on the counter with him.

"Dude, check the PDA," Emmett said. He rolled his eyes at Alice, who in turn flicked him off, and then looked over and Edward and I. "We all need showers, actually…"

Rosalie huffed at him and started to pick the string beans out of her hair. I stood from the ground and pulled out some rags and sponges.

Edward grabbed a sponge from me and threw the rest to everyone else, and we all began cleaning off different areas of the kitchen.

Occasionally Edward would purposely bump into me or nudge me with his elbow and just smile at me. The idea that he just wanted to touch me made me a little giddy.

When we were almost done cleaning, Alice was the first to retreat to take a shower.

I picked up Edward's discarded shirt and wiped off some mashed potatoes that had landed on his abdomen. I wanted to say he was flexing, because the muscles just seemed so hard under my finger tips, but I couldn't be sure. All I could really focus on were the lines of perfectly defined muscles under the taught skin—

Stop Bella.

We eventually all took our turns in the shower. Esme and Carlise hadn't returned yet, so once we were all showered and freshly dressed (Emmett and Edward had used clothes from high school to dress Jasper; Alice had found stuff for Rosalie and I) we sat in the living room drinking wine and watching Emmett try and start a fire.

"It's really not that hard," Rosalie drawled. She took a large sip of her wine and stared at the back of his head.

"I got this," he told her sharply, then scratched the back of his head. "Hmm."

She rolled her eyes and leaned her head on my shoulder. I glanced down at her then back over to watch Jasper and Alice whisper to each other when Rosalie jabbed my ribs.

"What the—"

She coughed, then shot a look over at Edward then looked over back at me, wiggling her eyebrows. I sighed and shook my head. _"I don't know," _I mouthed.

She frowned and sat up straighter, sipping her wine and shooting Edward a nasty look.

He was completely oblivious; he was starring off into space, his left hand holding his wine and his right hand almost touching my thigh. And every once in a while, he'd absent mindedly brush his fingers over the fabric of my pants.

"We're home!" Esme called from the foyer. "And we have food!"

The turkey was still hot, and most of the rolls were still warm and still intact, so we sat down with the fresh sides and finally started our Thanksgiving dinner at nearly eight o'clock.

I had underestimated on how awkward it would be—everyone was chewing quietly, almost thoughtfully and keeping to themselves. I sat next to Rosalie and Emmett, while Edward sat across from me with Alice and Jasper.

"So how have you all been?" Carlise asked.

Edward chatted about how stressful the hospital was getting, especially since winter was well on its way. Carlise nodded and hummed in the right places. Rosalie asked Carlise something about the Mercedes engine, Alice complained to Esme about a client she'd been working with lately, and I just kind of bobbed back and forth between the conversations.

Edward nudged my foot with his from under the table. He arched an eyebrow at me and mouthed, "_Okay?"_ I smiled and nodded and resumed eating my turkey and casserole.

Dinner continued a lot like that; varied conversations that people would pick up occasionally and then move on to the other side of the table. Jasper was cracking jokes towards the end of the evening, making the sound of Emmett's laughter ring the in the room.

Alice, Rosalie, and I offered to do the dishes for Esme, which she happily thanked us and retired to the living room. The guys hung around and helped us by handing us plates or loading them into the dishwasher.

Alice yawned. "I need a cappuccino."

Rosalie nodded while hanging a towel back up.

Edward leaned on the counter next to me, putting hand behind my back on the cool granite. I wanted to lean into his body but I resisted.

"You're quiet tonight," he muttered under his breath. He watched his sister wipe off the stove top and toss the sponge into the sink.

I shrugged. "Not really…just kind of missing home, I guess." It wasn't necessarily a _lie, _per say. I did miss my family. I didn't usually spend holidays with Renee and Phil, but holidays did seem like the time I missed them the most. Charlie and Sue usually saw me on every Thanksgiving and Christmas.

"I understand," he cooed, nodding and inclining his head towards me. He nudged his shoulder against mine and grinned crookedly. His lips parted for him to speak, but instead he paused and reached into his pocket to retrieve his BlackBerry. He looked at the flashing screen and frowned.

"Excuse me for a second," he said, not really directed to anyone, just out in the open. He pushed off the counter and walked towards the back door, his brows furrowed deeply.

Emmett reached his arm out to stop him. They stared at each other for a second and had some sort of silent conversation. Emmett cocked an eyebrow and Edward just merely nodded, and continued on his way to the back porch.

Weird.

"Okay well…" Rosalie cleared her throat after watching the brothers. "I need another glass of wine."

We all filtered into the living room where the fire was dimly lit by the fire Emmett finally got going, and we all had another glass of wine except Alice, who started sipping on a cappuccino she had made herself.

Rosalie and Alice were talking to Esme and Carlise and laughing about something. Jasper had excused himself for the restroom, and Emmett had moved himself to sit beside me.

"I'm on to you," he said, taking a huge gulp of wine.

I blinked blankly at him. "What?"

He grinned wickedly. "I saw that stunt in the kitchen with Edward."

My heart grew a little heavier. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a smile. "What stunt?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "That kiss."

My eyes automatically shot over to Alice and Rosalie, but both were oblivious. I turned back to Emmett. "What about it?"

"Well," he drawled, leaning into me slightly, "it looked was if that wasn't the first kiss."

I shook my head and my cheeks began to heat. "It…um…"

He just shook his head. "Don't worry about it. My brother is…" he paused, searching for the right words. "He's a little slow to get the ball rolling."

I arched an eyebrow at him, but he never got a chance to explain, because Esme's voice called out to us. "Emmett, come tell Rosalie the time of your senior year—"

"Oh Mom!" he laughed and stood from the couch. "I don't necessarily want pretty blonde women knowing all mine and Edward's stupid adventures..."

I watched them for a few moments before I felt a tap on my shoulder. Edward had returned and had a hand extended towards me. "Come on," he whined, reaching down and pulling me from the couch.

"Where are we going?"

"Just here," he said simply, leading me towards his piano in the corner of the room.

_Edward's lips didn't leave my skin; he planted wet open mouthed kisses down my jaw to my ear lobe, grazing his teeth against the flesh. _

"_Bella…" he growled, sucking the soft skin right under my ear. I gasped and threw my head back, feeling every nerve on my skin being set on fire._

_His hot lips let a trail down my neck until he bit down softly at my shoulder. I rocked my hips towards his, groaning when I was rewarded with the delicious feeling of him bucking his hips towards me—_

"Bella?" he asked. Oh right, he was waiting for me to sit down. I shook out the memory of the last time we had been near a piano and sat down on the bench stiffly, waiting for him to join me.

He started playing softly, and it sounded soft and sweet and familiar. Not the song he had played for me previously, but a song that I'd heard before but just couldn't place it.

I didn't realize I was starring at him until he was starring at me too, his fingers still sweeping over the keys. He was grinning slightly, but his eyes were dark and brooding like he was holding something back.

"Edward," Esme had come up from behind us and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I've missed your playing."

He snapped out of whatever daze he was in and looked up at his mom, without missing a note. "I haven't played in a while," he admitted. He looked over at me and winked.

"We should get going," Alice piped up. I checked my watch and noticed the night was growing to a close after all. She waltzed into the foyer and retrieved her coat, and reluctantly, I followed her.

I grabbed my coat from the hall closet and started to put it on when suddenly Edward was behind me again murmuring, "Allow me," and holding the coat open so I could slip my arms in.

I smiled in my thanks, and put my purse on my shoulder.

Esme had sent us home with bottles of wine that her and Carlise either didn't like or weren't going to drink any time soon. So after many hugs and goodbyes, we made our ways to our cars, our arms filled with glass bottles and our dirty clothes packed away in grocery bags.

Alice shut the trunk to the Porsche, and turned to face Rosalie and me. "Would I be a terrible friend if I asked Edward if he could drive you guys home?" she asked, looking at the ground. "I think Jasper and I are going to sleep at his place and so…"

Rosalie and I exchanged glances. We've know Alice and Jasper had been having sex for months, but they just recently started spending the night over at each other's places and the whole thing that she was so shy about it made us giggle.

"I don't care," Rosalie said. "But don't you need to get…things?"

Alice blushed deeply and looked over at the guys who were waiting outside the Edward's car, starring at us. "I have a drawer," she whispered.

"WHAT?"

"Shh!" Alice turned even more red and lunged at us. "He let me have one of his drawers in his dresser. It's small, but it's enough room for some underwear and tank tops…"

"Do you have a toothbrush over there, too?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded. "Alice!" Rosalie shrilled. "I knew you guys were getting serious, but oh my God! That's a big deal!"

Alice beamed at us. "I'll tell you guys more later, I've just been so busy with work and I've been kinda overwhelmed—"

"Hey girls, what's the hold up?" Emmett yelled to us. "Jasper told us to wait on you."

Alice winked at us and waltzed over to her brothers. "Edward, do you think you could possibly…" she trailed off and cleared her throat. "Take Bella and Rosalie home?"

Edward scratched the back of his head and tightened his coat around him. "Why can't you?"

"Because I want to take Jasper home."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "You're with Jasper now. It's a half hour, geeze."

Alice just stared at her older brothers, and realization must have dawned on them because they both looked over at Alice, then to Jasper (who was conveniently avoiding their gazes) and then to each other.

"No fucking way," Emmett swore.

"Emmett," Alice warned. "I'm twenty-six years old, if I want to spend the night with my _boyfriend_, then I can."

"I don't care, Alice. I don't want it right under my nose—"

"Dude, it's not like we're always going to be having—" Jasper tried to interrupt.

"Don't even mutter the word _sex,_ Jasper," Emmett scolded him.

Edward just glanced back and forth from Jasper to Alice, with a look of distain on his face. He sighed, and then raised his eyes to mine and then his entire face seemed to relax and he smiled at me, and made my heart flutter in my chest.

"Okay," Edward said sternly. He didn't break his eye contact with me. "I'll take Bella and Rosalie home, Alice. Just promise me one thing, alright?"

She nodded and smiled up at him. "Anything."

He looked away from me to his pixie little sister and swallowed audibly. "Just please don't let me see you until morning and please be dressed."

Alice blushed red again, but nodded and kissed Edward's cheek, before grabbing Jasper's hand and pulling him towards the yellow car. Jasper shot Edward a look of thanks and regret but Edward shrugged and grinned at him.

Emmett huffed in annoyance and turned to me. "Would you like shot gun, Bella?"

Edward's eyes flashed to mine and when I nodded, the corner of his lips twitched. He came around and held the door open for me, and shut it after I had gotten situated, much like he had done the last time I rode with him.

Emmett did the same for Rosalie.

It was cute, seeing the Cullen men open doors for women and act chivalrous.

"Emmett, why didn't you offer me shot gun?" Rosalie asked.

Emmett buckled his seat belt and grinned at her. "Because how am I supposed to annoy you when you're all the way in the front seat?"

She just shook her head, flipped her blonde hair and smiled out the window.

Edward turned the car on and it purred to life, and he put the car in reverse and started to wind out of the long driveway.

The ride home was almost completely silent; Edward had put some music on from his iPod that I spent most of the drive shuffling through, and every once in a while Emmett or Rosalie would laugh quietly and tell each other to shut up, followed by a smack.

Edward parked at the curb of our building and turned off the car. We sat in silence for a second, and I glanced over at Edward to see him and Emmett exchanging another glance from the rearview mirror.

"I'll walk you up, Rose," Emmett told her and hopped out of the car.

"We'll be up in a moment," Edward told them both and Rosalie nodded and left the car with Emmett. Edward turned to me and smiled nervously. "I…" he paused.

I bit my lip nervously. What was he doing? Was he going to kiss me again? Were we going to have that talk we had been avoiding so desperately? Oh God, not yet. Not tonight. Not now.

"Bella," he whispered. He leaned over the center console and cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb along my skin. His phone beeped, altering him of a text or a voicemail and he sighed and rolled his eyes, making me laugh breathlessly.

I was tired of letting him have all the control. So, instead of waiting for him to make a move, I did it for him. I leaned in and closed the distance, pressing my lips firmly to his.

He was frozen for about half a second, before he sucked in a deep breath and began moving his lips roughly against mine. His hand tangled in my hair and he pressed his lips harder to mine. I secretly rejoiced in the fact that he couldn't get close enough and neither could I.

His tongue slipped between my lips and started to caress the inside of my mouth, and his right hand trailed down my body and rested on my waist. I had an itching feeling he was dying to pull me over the center console, but that would have been slightly difficult to maneuver.

We broke away panting, our lips swollen and our hair a mess and we were both smiling and it was wonderful. My heart was beating in my chest frantically like I had just run a 5K. Edward traced his thumb over my lower lip and sighed heavily. "From now on, maybe we need to stay at separate corners."

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him—if I hadn't had such an unbearable throb between my legs I would have said something witty or sarcastic, but I couldn't really comprehend words.

He walked me up to the apartment in silence, only telling me, "After you," as we stepped off the elevator and keeping a light hand at the small of my back.

It was the end of the night. I knew it would come, it was inevitable. I tried to focus on how Edward looked as he was bullying Emmett from my living room, the way he would roll his eyes when Emmett would snap at him, and the way his face relaxed and his lips tried not to smile when he looked over at me. Edward liked me, I was positive. I mean, how could he not? If he didn't he was the biggest player I'd ever met, but that didn't seem likely.

And when he went to leave, he hesitated, almost like it was hard for him to walk away. That means something, right? I racked my brain for signs and from that book _He's Just Not That Into You _to see if Edward was doing anything wrong, but as far as I could remember, it was right. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek lightly and rubbed his thumb over the spot, before offering me a crooked grin.

I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I didn't know when I'd see him next, or if it was the fact that I didn't know when I would get to kiss him again, but my chest was tightening as I watched him leave and mutter something about calling me soon.

I collapsed on the couch next to Rosalie, who arched an eyebrow at me and shook her head. "Spill," she ordered.

And then I did.

*

**Have you ever had a food fight?**

**Leave me some lovin'.**


	9. Chapter 9

This update came sooner than I thought, so I'm really excited. Chapters should be coming out quicker now, and once you've read this chapter you'll know why. Enjoy!

I own absolutely nothing. Like nothing…at all. Except for the computer I'm tapping on.

**Bella**

*

_When is saying "I do" too soon?_

_We've all done it—we've all been pessimistic at some point in our lives, despite how regularly we look at the glass as half full rather than half empty. And it seems, at least for me, that these pessimistic feelings happen when something wonderful happens to someone close to you that you wished would happen to yourself._

_Two of my good friends are getting married. And the first thing that was out of my mouth? No, not "Congratulations!" It was "Are you sure about this?"_

_I remember when my parents first got divorced; it made me extremely aware of how quickly love can turn from sweet to sour. It was heart wrenching, and I suppose it heightened my sensitivity to situations like those. _

_So my question is: Do personal experiences make us pessimistic to other's joy? Or are we just instilled with these views that no matter what life has thrown us, we just view it that way?_

_I'm not entirely sure. I want to say that watching my parents go through divorce and seeing my engagement with Wolverine come to an end has made me hesitate that extra second before wading into the love pool, but one can never be too certain._

_Ponder about this, and think long and hard about your answer. Next time you're quick to answer about some else's happy news, think if you're curtness is from something being sparked, or if it's just from something from left field completely. _

_-Bella Swan_

_**Sinful in Seattle**_

*

Angela sighed for the millionth time, and ran her hands down her sides nervously. "How's this one?"

I glanced up from my magazine to look at her. "It's nice," I said, but in all honesty, it looked like the trillion other dresses she had already tried on.

She didn't catch my sarcasm. She lifted the veil over to cover her face and stared at her reflection some more. "I don't know," she groaned.

Angela and Ben's wedding was fast approaching; it was in about three weeks, to be exact. Angela had ordered a wedding dress from a designer Alice worked with almost two months ago, but at the last minute the designer got a huge work load and wasn't able to make her dress for her.

She was freaking out.

Rosalie was at work. Alice was at work. Jessica was out somewhere, doing whatever she does. And Lauren…was MIA. That left me to come with her and give a second opinion on wedding dresses.

"Did you like the last one better than this one?"

"Ang, I can't really tell a huge difference between the past five dresses you've had on." I tossed the magazine down and stood up, leaving my purse in the chair. "They're all the same style…why don't you try something different? Like a different cut?"

She sighed. "I wanted _my _dress…it was cut like this one," she motioned to the white satin that was clinging to her.

I had to admit, the dress she was wearing was beautiful, but not her. It was a halter and it obviously had a hoop skirt, because it swayed out from her hips and took up almost her entire dressing room.

"Maybe you're right," she mumbled, fingering the beading along the neckline. "I'm going to try another one on, can you go grab me one you like?"

"Sure."

I left her to her own devices and wandered around the bridal boutique. Our bridal consultant had gotten frustrated with Angela, and had to help out with an "emergency" that came up in the back room, but I had a feeling it was she was just too frustrated to keep talking to Angela.

It was over whelming to look at all the white satin at once. They were all beautiful, but Angela needed something…classic, simple, and somewhat conservative—her father was a priest, after all.

I picked a few random dresses that I thought she'd like, not totally paying attention. Some where white, some ivory, and some had lace and silk and ribbons, and I just didn't know what she wanted, so I picked some with different cuts and went back to her fitting room.

"Here you go," I opened the door and handed them to her.

I could hear her tutting and sighing and the rustling of fabric, when my phone buzzed. I flipped it open while I asked, "How's it going?"

"Fine," she called, and I heard something slam into the wall like she lost her balance. "I'm okay!"

I grinned and opened the text.

_How's the dress shopping go? –A_

_**It's been three hours already. We missed lunch. –B**_

_Ah, sorry! Rose is coming home early today. I'll pick up dinner for us, k? Love u –A_

_**Ok, see you tonight. –B**_

"Okay!" Angela swung the door open, dressed in her jeans and her t-shirt, clutching two dress bags to her chest. "So I've narrowed it down to two dresses. I'm going to have to come back though to decide." She checked her watch. "I'm fucking starving," she muttered to me, shooting me an apologetic glance. "Sorry we're getting lunch so late."

"It's fine," I told her and jumped out of my seat. "Let's put those on hold for you and get moving."

We left the boutique and made our way to a sports bar where I ordered a beer, despite Angela's amused expression when she ordered a diet coke.

"Drinking so early?" she asked, sipping her coke.

I took a sip of my beer and smiled, nodding. "Mhmm." I set it down and glanced over the menu.

A cute blonde kid, probably no older than nineteen waltzed back up to our table and asked us if we were ready to order. We did, and sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the dozens of televisions that were surrounding us.

"So…how's Edward?"

I coughed on my beer. "What?" I croaked.

"How's Edward?" Angela repeated.

"Um…" Shit. Edward and I were great, but not making any process. We still hadn't talked, despite how many times we hung out together. And in the past few days, Edward had kissed me _once_. Considering how many times we've kissed, that wasn't bad, except I had seen him almost everyday for the past week. One kiss. One.

"He's good, I guess," I told her, hoping I came off as nonchalant.

"Hmm," she hummed, checking her phone. "Is he still pining after you?"

I glared at her. "Shut up."

She laughed. "I'm serious! He likes you. I may have only met him at your birthday but it was pretty obvious then that he was crushing on you."

I shrugged. "I don't really know."

"He didn't ever make a move?" she asked, confused.

"Not really."

"Not really…?"

"A couple of kisses…but that's it."

"Oh," she said. She bit her lower lip and tried to distract herself with her food. "Well, I'm sure that whatever he's doing he…knows what he's doing."

I snorted and just started picking at my lunch. _Right, Ang. Right._

We said goodbye after lunch, and I made my way to my apartment, only to find that Rosalie was already home, and cleaning out her room.

"How was the dress hunt?" she called from her room.

"Fine!" I kicked off my shoes and tossed them into my closet, then ventured over to her room. "Three long hours of looking at dresses that all look the same and then a torturous lunch."

Rosalie quirked an eyebrow at me. "Why was it torturous?"

"She asked about Edward."

"Ah." She pulled a boot from underneath her bed and stared at it for a second, before throwing it over her shoulder. "And what did you say?"

I dodged the boot, thankfully. "I told her that all we've done was kiss."

"Liar."

"_Lately,_" I amended, "all we've done was kiss."

"Thank you." She continued her search. "I think you're wasting your time, Bell. I mean, take a step outside your shoes and look at it from my point of view." She sat up against her bed and swept her golden locks into a pony tail. "The night after you meet him, you guys have sex—"

"Please don't—"

"Shut up. As I was saying," she glared at me, "You had sex. Then, you find out he's Alice's older brother. Then you try to be _friends_, and then when you actually like him he gets all scared and doesn't fucking have enough guts to either ask you out again or turn you down."

"Well I haven't actually _told _him I like him—"

"Doesn't matter," she retorted. She picked up the boots off the floor and walked into her closet. "It's obvious you do. I think the only reason Alice hasn't figured it out is because she's off in Jasper-land."

I giggled and nodded. Alice had been spacey lately, even more so since Thanksgiving.

"So I think you need to get over him," Rose continued. "If he doesn't have the balls to either say 'Hey, I like you' or 'I don't like you like that' then you shouldn't waste your time."

I groaned and settled on her bed. "I know, I know. But I can't help it."

She just stuck her head out of her closet and frowned for a second, before sticking it back in. "Take my advice, Bells! Remember what I said about Jake when I first met him?"

I didn't respond; I just covered my face in a pillow.

"I said, '_Bella, he's no good for you. He's going to end up breaking your heart. His head is just simply too big. He's going—'"_

"'_Leave a permanent mark that will take you forever to mend.'" _I finished for her.

"Exactly."

"I'm over Jake, Rosalie." I picked the pillow off my space and propped it behind my head.

"I know you are," she said, pulling out a shirt and holding it up to herself in the mirror. "But you aren't over the fact that he cheated on you."

I closed my eyes. "You don't know that."

"Alice and I saw him, Bell."

"No, you saw him out to eat with a chick I didn't know. That doesn't mean he was fucking her."

Rosalie looked at me through the mirror. "He lied about it, Bella. He said he was eating lunch with Seth that day. And later we saw—" She stopped short, like she was holding something back on purpose.

I cracked my neck and shook my head. "Rosalie, please. It was a long time ago—"

"A year isn't a long time ago."

"Shut it, please? I don't want to know. Hell, I don't even care anymore. So please…drop it."

She sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry…I just get worked up. You know how I feel about him."

"I know."

"And you know I just want what's best for you."

"I know."

She sat down on the foot of the bed. "And I just can't sit around and watch another man rip your heart out."

I sat up and put my hand over hers. "Thank you, for caring so much."

She ruffled my hair and went back to her closet. "It's no biggie."

I yawned and stretched my legs. My mind was whirling, and suddenly I wanted to do something productive to distract myself. Taking after Rosalie, I decided to clean the living room.

In all honesty, I had no idea if Jake had cheated on me or not. I chose to stay in some sort of denial, and when we had broken up, Rosalie had come to me saying she had actual proof that he did in fact cheat on me, but I told her whatever it was to burn it. I didn't want to know—I wanted to stay oblivious. I wanted to feel like I was enough for my fiancé, and if I found out he truly did cheat on me, I wouldn't feel like that.

I walked out into the kitchen and looked around for something to clean—a pot, a plate, hell _anything—_but everything was spotless. I suppose that was kind of my fault for being a clean freak and I usually tidy everything daily so there's never any ritual spring cleaning.

I gazed into the living room and that's where I saw it: the book shelf. It was tall, probably well over six feet tall, with all my books ranging on the different shelves. I racked my brain, but couldn't remember the last time I dusted it.

Grabbing my Swiffer and a stool, I trotted over to the shelf. I stood on the stool and reached the middle shelves with ease, dusting the dark wood and the tops and spines of books I had forgotten I owned.

I internally groaned. Rosalie was right. As much as I wanted Edward and I to work out, and as much as I liked him, this wasn't good for me. This _wasn't_ like me, just to forgive a guy for avoiding me for two weeks and then waltz back in like everything is just fine.

He had apologized, sure, and told me he had "things" to take care of. I wished I would have pushed then, because now it seemed like a lost cause. I wouldn't bring it up now—because I didn't want it to be awkward.

He was playing games with me, and I was finally coming around and seeing them. I was finally seeing Edward for what he was.

Just another man.

My heart did a flip and then fell into my stomach, because I knew that I had to just break it off—no more kissing, or lingering touches. No more teasing or smoldering looks, or flirting my heart out.

_Just friends_.

Like I had originally planned on.

I was scared—completely terrified, actually. I was scared of what would happen if I saw Edward again. But I was also scared of what would happen if I didn't.

I wanted to smack myself for being such a girl.

I reached on my tip toes to reach the top shelf, but still distracted, I lost my balance and felt the stool start to wobble below me.

A few things happened in slow motion; the stool slipped from underneath my feet, the Swiffer landed on the couch, and I landed on top of the stool, bending my wrist back with an audible snap.

"FUCK!"

"Bella? Bella!" Rosalie yelled from her room. She came out of the door way with a look of concern on her face. "Oh my God, what happened?"

"I fell."

She crouched down next to me and raked her eyes at my wrist I was suddenly cradling. "I can see that."

I sneered at her, trying to stand up but failing. "It's not funny."

The corner of her mouth twitched. "It is a little."

I tried to move my wrist but a searing pain shot down my forearm. "Fuck," I groaned.

Rosalie dawned her concerned face again and took my hand gingerly in hers. "It's not broken…" she mused. "But it might be sprained. Let's take you to the hospital—"

"No, I have bandages here. I can wrap it."

"Bella, this is why you have insurance. Come on," she pulled my good hand harshly and shoved my coat at me.

"Rose—"

"No buts," she snapped and picked her purse off the counter. "I'll drive."

*

We didn't say much on the way to the ER. After a few minutes, she flipped on the radio and fiddled around with it for a few moments, before leaving it on some random station that neither of us knew.

The waiting room wasn't too terribly crowded. There were a few wailing kids and a couple of people who looked a little green, so as I sat down with my little clip board next to Rosalie, I glared at her.

"You'll thank me later."

"No, I won't." I started going over the routine paper work, sighing heavily at questions like _Are you allergic to any medications? _And _What prescriptions are you currently taking? Do you regularly drink alcohol? Smoke? _

Rosalie was going to have to lock her door tonight.

After I finished the paper work, I returned it to the front station, where she informed me it would be a while and that a doctor would see me as soon as possible.

This is why I hated the emergency room; full of people who weren't sick whatsoever (like me) and it took fucking forever to get past those double doors. And once you were there, it was another thirty to forty minutes of waiting before the flipping doctor even showed up.

"Rose, really, can we go please? My wrist already feels better."

"Does it?" she asked. She looked over her magazine and suddenly her hand shot out, and she wrapped her manicured hand around my injury. I hissed in pain and she just smiled sweetly before turning back to Cosmo. "It looks like its loads better."

I sneered at her and started watching the clock.

Sixty seven minutes and forty five seconds later, my name was called.

"Isabella Swan?" I looked towards the voice and saw an over weight nurse reading off a file. I stood up and started to walk towards her. "Follow me."

Rosalie followed silently behind me. The nurse showed us to a small bed that was separated from the other two beds on either sides by curtains, with a thin curtain in front that was drawn.

"Here you go. The doctor will be in shortly."

We sat, and we waited.

And we waited, and we waited.

At one point, Alice called. Rose explained everything to her, telling her how I was just clumsy and laughing at me while I scowled at her the whole time, cradling my wrist.

After nearly twenty minutes, Rose stood from the chair next to me. "I'm starving. Want anything from the cafeteria?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, anything."

She maneuvered out of the curtain and left me alone, sitting on the bed swinging my feet like a three year old.

After another few minutes, I heard a nurse speak just outside my holding cell.

"Right through that curtain, Dr. Cullen."

Fuck me. Are you serious?

Wait, maybe it's Carlisle. They both work at the same hospital…

But why would Carlisle be working in the ER? Exactly, he wouldn't, which leaves…

No, please no. Please oh please oh please. You have _got _to be kidding me.

The curtain partition ripped to the side and there, standing before me, was the man I had been pining over and tearing about my insides over for the past few hours.

Edward's eyes were big as saucers as he saw me, and then looked down to the file he was holding, and then back up to me. "Bella?"

I forced a weak smile. "Hi."

He scanned my folder quickly. "Why are you here?"

I lifted up my limp wrist and winced. "I fell."

"Oh," he said. His eyebrows arched and then furrowed, and then he started chewing on the inside of his cheek. "You have quite the record."

"Shut up."

He grinned and shook his head, but continued reading.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He glanced up and set my folder down on the bed at my side. "Someone asked me to cover their shift."

"So do you get to do the emergency surgeries if people are rushed from an ambulance?" I asked, sounding like a four year old.

He chuckled. "No, I get to do the boring stuff like fill out paper work and see patients, like yourself."

"Oh."

He nodded and squatted on the stool in front of me. "Not the most exciting job in the world…" he drawled. "But it's shown a perk already."

"And what's that?"

"You're sitting in front of me."

I felt myself blush at his words, but I felt anger rise up inside of me and begin to bubble over. "You know exactly what to say, don't you?"

He blinked in surprise. "What—"

"No, Edward. I'm talking." His eyes widened and then he barely nodded, interlacing his fingers in his lap and starring up at me expectantly. His sudden undivided attention made my skin flush and my heart skip a few beats. "I um…"

He reached up and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Could I check your wrist out while you're talking? As long as it doesn't interrupt anything you're trying to say," he added.

Oh, the bastard was mocking me. I stuck my hand out and scowled at him. He was obviously fighting a grin, because his lips were twitching as he ran his fingers lightly over my skin.

"As you were…" he muttered, pressing his index finger gingerly against my hand.

"Yeah, as I was saying," I cleared my throat and tried not to focus on him. Instead of staring at his bronze hair or long fingers, I stared at the blood pressure machine and took in a deep breath. "We need to talk."

He froze holding my hand and looked up at me through his lashes. This was it. This was the talk, there was no more avoiding it, no more bullshitting.

"You're right." He sighed deeply and rolled his chair away from me.

"Yes…I know," I stuttered. When he agreed with me it screwed me up. "Edward," I started. What was I going to say? Where were we even supposed to start? _I like you? Do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe. _That seemed too elementary, so I just opted for an easier solution. "What are we doing?"

Edward rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the room. "You sprained your wrist—"

"You _know _that's not what I meant."

He sighed deeply. "I know. I know that's not what you meant." He looked up at me, his green eyes so deep and bright that I wanted to get lost in them so badly. He rolled the stool back towards me and took my hands in his, running his calloused thumbs over my overheated skin. I looked down at our joined hands, heat and electricity overwhelming me.

"No, Bella, please look at me," he said nervously. He took in an unsteady breath, his green eyes searching for something in mine. He laughed nervously. "I admit I haven't been my best to you," he said softly. "But I want you…no, I need you to know that I care about you."

I was supposed to be chewing him out, ripping him a new one about how it was too late for him and that he lost his chance with me. But I was frozen in this state of shock, just watching him spill his heart out to me.

He continued, "I know I've never come out and said it, but I like you. A lot more than I should, probably," he muttered the last part. He pulled his eyes away from mine, and shook his head. "I've haven't been this nervous since fucking high school." He pulled my hand towards his chest and laid it over his heart. I could feel the erratic thump against my palm through his clothes. "You make me this nervous."

My heart soared. "I do this?"

He nodded, still holding my hand to his chest. "You."

The next few moments were a blur.

Edward slowly rose out of his stool and cupped my face. He ran his thumbs over my cheeks and brought his lips down to mine. They moved so softly against mine, caressing me, as if he was trying to prove his words to me.

_He cared._

He fucking cared.

He fucking _likes _you, Bella. Like you like him.

Holy shit.

I pulled away first and pushed against his chest. "I…I…" I stuttered. What was I supposed to do? This hadn't been what I was expecting _at all._ I had been excepting to argue with him and then storm out.

But there he was, standing in front of me, slightly out of breath, his green eyes so big and wide and _fuck._

Something I've picked up is that if you look carefully at people's eyes the first five seconds they look at you, their true feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away.

Edward's eyes were pouring out emotion and it made my heart swoon.

"I—" I started, but got interrupted. Rosalie ripped aside the curtain with her arms full of snack food. Her eyes got big when she saw Edward, then she glared at him.

"Edward," she said coolly. She tossed me a bag of Fritos, and collapsed back into her chair. Edward moved a couple feet away from me and sat back down in his stool.

Edward liked me.

My mind was in a whirlwind.

"What's the verdict?"

Edward cleared his throat and ran his hands through his hair. "She sprained it. It's tender and it's swelling slightly. I'll wrap it here, but once you guys get home take some Aspirin for the pain, and try not to put pressure on it."

I wanted to turn to her and stick out my tongue, just to rub it in her face that I didn't need to come here in the first place, but I didn't dare. I was so glad I went to the ER.

Edward excused himself for a minute and Rosalie didn't say anything, except a little rant about how hospitals creep her out. He returned a moment later, with a white gauzy bandage that he began wrapping it around my wrist.

He secured it and then looked down at me. "Be more careful next time," he crooned. He was trying not to smile. Again.

I pulled my hand away from him and rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

I started to get up when he caught my good wrist. He leaned down to me and smiled. "I'd say that I'll call you tomorrow but I seem to have a bad track record with that. So…you call me?"

I smiled. "I'll see if I can pencil you in."

He grinned. "Yeah, I'm sure you're super busy." He flicked at my hair.

Rosalie cleared her throat loudly. "Ready?" she asked.

I nodded. "See you," I told Edward.

He nodded back at me. "See you guys later."

The walk back to the car was quick and in silence. It wasn't until we were pulling out of the parking lot and at our first red light when Rosalie turned to me and hissed, "What was that?"

I blinked. "What was what?"

"_That."_

"What?"

She sighed. "Bellaaaaaa," she drawled. She accelerated through another light just as it turned yellow. "Please talk to me."

I sighed heavily. "I'm confused."

"No shit."

"No, like really confused. I had it all planned out in my head that I was going to tell Edward off and tell him it was just too late and he was shit out of luck, but then…" I paused to watch a car pass us.

"Then…?"

"Then he admits he likes me. He says that I make him as nervous as he was in high school." I fiddled with my bandage.

"He did what?" she asked as she turned into our parking garage.

"He said he liked me."

Then she sighed all heavily as she parked the car and turned if off. "So he admits he likes you, which you pretty much already knew. Right?"

"Right."

She looked up at me, her brown eyes staring up at me as she smiled kind of sadly. "So…how does that really change anything?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

She was right. I think I knew subconsciously that Edward liked me, because hell, he wouldn't have done everything he's done if he hadn't. But at the same time, he's fucked up enough to not make any of that matter.

If I just let this pass over me, I was letting Edward get off without any complications, and that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to get hurt.

"It doesn't," I mumbled.

"Exactly." Rose got out of the car and started swinging her keys in her hand. "I love you and I want what's best for you. If you think it's best to hold on to Edward, I'll bite my tongue. But you know where I stand."

Normally, it wouldn't have bothered me so much, except those were the exact words she had said to me about Jacob.

I felt a zip of something shoot up my spine.

I started heading for the apartment, deciding that the fate of the relationship was resting on what we had to say to each other in the morning.

I dreaded dawn.

*

After eating breakfast, tidying my room three times, and then starting something in the crock pot for dinner, I found myself sitting on my bed, staring at my phone as it highlighted Edward's name.

I couldn't push it.

Alice and Rosalie had gone out or something. I didn't really care at this point.

I needed to man up. Or woman up, I guess.

I groaned loudly, although there was no one to hear it, and then pushed the fucking green 'call' button.

It rang three times, before Edward answered breathlessly. "Hello?"

"Hey," I stuttered.

"Hey!" He coughed and something banged on the other end, and then he was back and still out of breath. "I was hoping you'd call."

"Yeah…" I wandered off. I was silent for a second, not really sure what to say. "Edward—"

"Bella—"

We both laughed and then were silent again. Fuck these awkward silences. "Edward," I said slowly, trying again. "We still need to talk…"

He coughed again. "Yeah, we do." There was another bang and then a rustle of fabric. "Hey, have you had lunch yet?"

I glanced at the clock; one fifteen. "No…"

"Would you want to grab something to eat?"

I blinked stupidly at my alarm clock. "With you?" I blurted out.

He chuckled. "That was the idea."

I blushed, even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah, of course. Where?"

We made plans to meet at a café that was somewhere in between our apartments at one forty-five.

I was purposely late. I arrived about five 'til two, and saw him before he saw me. He was frowning at his BlackBerry and rubbing the back of his neck, and I noticed that his left foot was bobbing up and down nervously.

I paused at the table and stood in front of the chair across from him, waiting for him to look up and see me.

"Hi."

His eyes snapped up, and he grinned so widely, nearly tossed his phone on the table and stood from his seat. "Hey," he cooed. He came around me and wrapped me in a warm hug, and kissed my cheek. "Let me get your coat."

He slipped my coat off my arms and hung it on the chair next to him, after pulling out my chair for me.

"Thanks," I told him. I sat down awkwardly and waited for him to situate himself again. "How was work yesterday?"

"Long," he admitted. He skimmed his fingers over the menu and started drumming them against it. "Can we talk? About yesterday?"

My heart drummed in my chest. "Sure…what about it?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I meant what I said." He took a sip of the water on the table.

I felt my cheeks heat. "You're kind of hot and cold with me."

"I know…" he groaned. "You're a confusing person."

"Me?"

"Yes, you." He set his menu aside, but I don't think he even glanced at it. "We meet and have great sex, and then you say you want to be friends, yet you flirt with me and make me think…" He shook his head, kind of laughing nervously. "I'm at a loss of what to do."

Here I was thinking that _he_ was the only one sending mixed signals, but had I been sending them as well?

I guess I had. Damn.

I started to apologize, but the waiter came over to ask us what we wanted to eat. Edward rambled off some kind of sandwich that sounded pretty good so I ordered the same, and the waiter walked off. I looked up at Edward, feeling a little lost.

"I never meant to mislead you."

His eyes dilated as he just stared at me. Then he shook his head and smiled slightly, picking up his napkin and smoothing it out over his lap. "No problem," he said curtly. "No misleading here."

He turned his head slightly to look out of the window, as my words settled in. _I never meant to mislead you._ Oh God, does he think I don't like him like that? Fuck.

"Edward, I—"

He cleared his throat just then and started speaking over me. "Bella, please, just…" he chewed on the inside of his lip. "I'm sorry I brought all this up."

"No, Edward." I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I never meant for you to think anything different from that I care."

His eyes shifted from me, to his water glass. Our food arrived and we fell into a simple conversation during the meal, kind of pushing aside the awkward talk beforehand.

He paid for the bill, much to my reluctance and as we walked out, he slipped his arm around my shoulders and slipped on a pair of sunglasses. "So, when you said you cared…" he fished.

We paused at a cross walk. I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around his waist inside of his coat. "I care about you," I assured him.

His arm dropped to my waist and he brought his other to rub against my cheek. "Enough to move forward?" he asked hopefully.

This was it; the big decision. Do I drop Edward like a bad habit? Or do I keep him around, in hopes that this could be something better?

Edward was waiting for an answer. An answer that I've thought about long and hard the past few days, and an answer that I was finally ready to give.

"Yeah," I said softly. "It's enough."

Call me stupid, call me naive, or call me crazy, but at that moment I didn't care. Because Edward gave me a lopsided grin and slowly lowered his lips to mine in a slow, but sensual kiss, right there on the street corner as people passed us and gawked.

That's the things about bad habits—you can never completely give them up, because a part of you will always want more.

And that's what this feeling with him was. Despite his previous actions, if we started on a new slate, I figured we could only move forward from there.

The only problem with moving forward is that it isn't always guaranteed that the action will be pleasant.

Sometimes, moving forward isn't the right direction.

But no one ever finds that out until it's too late.

*

Would you rather move forwards in the dark or backwards in the light? Or would say it's the relatively same thing?

I hope you're craving for more, because there's a lot more to come. The story is far from being over, trust me! Sorry that the chapter was shorter than normal...I'll make up for it in 10, I promise!

Leave me some love and check out Nine Months (the next chap is up) :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Please, please, PLEASE don't kill me. My stories have not been abandon. I swear. **

**I got a chance to study abroad this summer, and I took it. Although I didn't have time to work on my stories, I got TONS of inspiration, and school is back in session for the fall and I'm back to writing. Nine Months will be updated tonight or tomorrow, depending on when I'm done editing/tweaking it.**

**I love you all and your support is amazing. I promise to never leave ya'll hanging like that again :)**

**I own nothing.**

*****

"You may delay. Time, will not."

**Bella**

"Get up."

I groaned and pulled the sheets higher up on my face to cover my eyes. I felt my side get nudged with a pointy toe, like a high heeled boot, and then someone swatting my ass through the blankets on my bed.

"Bellaaaa," Alice whined. She kicked me in the ass, probably giving me a bruise.

I pulled the sheets off my head and glared at her, then down to her shiny brown boots that were on my bed. "You have five seconds to get off my bed."

"Bells, don't be such a priss," she scolded me.

"One…"

She rolled her eyes dramatically, but got off the bed none the less.

"Thank you," I said as I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. "What do you want?"

"Can't I come see my best friend?" she asked innocently.

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes again, before telling me, "Okay, I surrender. I need a new dress to wear tonight."

"Alice," I whined at her.

"Shut it. You need a new dress too."

"Why do I need a dress?"

"Jasper has challenged my pool skills. Apparently neither Emmett or Edward mentioned that they taught me in high school, so Jasper is clueless. So I'm going to whip his ass and claim it was beginners luck."

"Sounds thrilling," I mumbled sarcastically, throwing the blankets off of me and wandering into the bathroom. "So why do I need a new dress if you're playing pool?"

"Because you're coming too, silly," she announced, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why am I coming?"

"Because it'll be fun if it's the six of us."

"Fun for who?" I croaked, spitting out some toothpaste.

"Bells, please," she pouted at me. "I'll buy your dress."

"I'm not wearing a dress. It's fucking December."

"Okay," she said slowly. "I'll buy your outfit!"

I met her at the doorway of the bathroom and frowned at her. "If you haven't noticed, Al, most of my closet has been given to me, curtsey of you."

She _tsked_ and walked past me to check out her hair. "You have half an hour before I come back in here and drag you out."

I opened my mouth to protest but she jutted out her lower lip and her bright blue eyes welled up with tears that came out of _no where_. I sighed heavily and pushed her out of my bathroom to start the shower.

"Thank you, Bella!" she called from behind the closed door.

Forty minutes later, I was walking on the sidewalk dressed in simple blue jeans, a sweater under my coat, and comfortable sneakers. A scarf was wrapped around my neck, and a steaming cup of coffee was in my hands, making me just a tiny bit happier.

Alice was rambling on and on about some client at her work that I didn't give two shits about, but I nodded and hmm'ed at the right moments, tricking her.

Rosalie, apparently, was at work, even though she didn't normally work on Fridays.

"Have you written your article for next week yet?" Alice asked, as we stopped in the window panel of some boutique. She glanced at me, then at the window display affectionately.

"No, not yet," I mumbled. "I'm out of ideas."

She arched an eyebrow. "I doubt that."

"Why?"

"You're the most creative person I know, Bells."

I rolled my eyes and followed her into the store. She appraised several things without taking them off their rack, and several things she held up to me or herself and shook her head.

"I can try it on, you know."

"If it doesn't look good held up to you, it won't look good on you. Trust me," she waved her hand almost dismissively, while venturing to a different section of the small store.

She forced dresses, even though I told her no this morning, jeans, and various tops into my arms before pointing to the dressing rooms. I tried on everything, only showing her the things that I liked (or actually would _wear)_ and once I was finished, she hid in the fitting room to try on her own things.

I settled for a new pair of black skinny jeans, since I didn't have a pair and Alice said it was the new "it" thing. She handed me a purple silk top that fit pretty well, and told me that the boots that I had bought last Christmas would go perfect with this outfit, and she'd help me accessorize.

Of course she would.

She thought I didn't notice the blue sweater dress in my size that she stuck in the pile when she went to go pay for it all.

Knowing my luck, I'd be wearing that tonight, instead of jeans.

Alice mentioned something about grabbing lunch since it was past noon by the time we exited the store. I nodded when I heard my stomach growl in appreciation.

We sat down at a small little café that had pretty good soups and sandwiches, putting our bags in the two extra chairs at the table. We ordered our drinks, and when I started shrugging out of my coat, Alice cleared her throat.

"So I've heard some interesting news," she said coyly.

"News?" I asked.

"Yes," she agreed, "news. To me, at least," she added, frowning at me.

"What's this erm…news?" I asked nervously.

It had to do with Edward. I knew because the look in her eyes was similar to the one she had when she questioned me about him on my birthday.

"Well," she started, sipping her hot chocolate. "A little birdie told me that my brother has a pretty big thing for you."

I swallowed, and then smiled. "Really? I didn't think Emmett was that taken with me."

She rolled her eyes. "Not that brother, Bella."

"Oh."

"Yeah," she smirked, obviously enjoying herself. "This little birdie said that he had a thing for you, and that you had a thing for him."

"Who is this little birdie?" I asked.

She pursed her lips, and made the motion to lock them up and throw away the key.

I licked my lower lip, feeling it getting a little chapped. "It's possible."

"Bella!" she hissed.

"What?"

She smiled widely at me. "Are you guys…together?"

I bit my lower lip and thought back to the day I had last saw Edward. I closed my eyes briefly, remembering the few days earlier.

"_I care about you," I assured him._

_His arm dropped to my waist and he brought his other to rub against my cheek. "Enough to move forward?" he asked hopefully._

"_Yeah," I said softly. "It's enough."_

"Bells?" Alice broke me from my daydream.

I blinked a little in surprise and smiled at her. "Sorry, I zoned out."

"I noticed," she laughed. "So are you two together?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I think it's a little soon to start putting a label on it."

She nodded, swirling her drink around with a coffee stir. "So you're label-less right now, then." I nodded, fingering my napkin so I'd have something to do with my hands. "That's good," she told me, grinning like an idiot. "I'm really happy for you, Bella."

I bit my lower lip and watched her through careful eyes. "You aren't…" I paused, looking for the right words. "Upset?"

"Fuck no," she said a little too loudly, and some mom in her forties in the next table glared at her. Alice mouthed an apology to her and rolled her eyes at me, still grinning. "I couldn't have picked someone better for my brother than my best friend. Now if I can only get Emmett to ask Rosalie out, and then it'd be perfect!"

I grinned down at my napkin. "I don't think that'll be that hard," I said quietly.

Alice couldn't stop smiling, and was probably planning some elaborate scheme in her head to make Emmett and Rosalie get together, but I knew it wouldn't take much. Emmett had an obvious sweet spot for her and her him, even though she tried to cover it up.

We continued talking until over an hour had past and our lunches were long forgotten. The air between us had cleared considerably, and there was nothing hanging to get in the way now.

All doors were clear. All signs were a go. There was nothing stopping us now.

That thought alone was enough to make me smile the entire way home from lunch, while Alice rambled on again about something.

*

"If you don't stop moving I'm going to burn you," Rosalie hissed at me through clenched teeth.

I sighed and sat completely still, looking at my made up reflection. Alice had out done herself on the make up. We were going to a pool bar, not a night club.

"_You can never be sure where you'll end up," she sang._

There were times I didn't understand how she could be so annoying for someone who didn't reach my shoulder.

Rosalie was curling my hair in loose waves that could hang down my back and frame around my face. Her hair was perfect, already, and her face had flawless make up.

Alice was done too, already prancing around in her little dress she had gotten for tonight, rummaging through Rosalie's closet for a pair of shoes that she _swore _Rosalie owned.

"I'm telling you, I don't own a pair like that," she called from her bathroom, fluffing up my hair.

"I promise you, you do!" Alice piped from the closet.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and laughed, fixing my hair still.

Rosalie looked stunning, as always. Her hair was pinned back a little so her bangs were out of her face, but the rest was hanging down straight to the middle of her back. Rosalie was wearing a pair of black pinstripe slacks with a gorgeous red satin top that clung to her like second skin, with a pair of flashy heels that gave her 5'9" frame an extra two inches or so.

"All done," she declared, fluffing my hair one last time. I stood up and walked back into the room, where Alice had put the boots I was supposed to wear on Rosalie's bed.

I slipped them on, and straightened myself up. "Is this necessary?" I asked as Alice threw a gold chain around my neck and a bracelet on my wrist.

"Yes, shut up."

I sighed heavily, and took the rest of their fitting in silence, until Alice stepped back, with only one of her heels on, and took me in.

"If I had a penis, Bells, I would so want to bang you."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Thanks…I think?"

"It's meant as a compliment," she informed me, returning to her search for her other heel.

I walked over to the full length mirror hanging on the back of Rosalie's bathroom door, and nearly gasped. My hair looked good, for once. It was shiny and didn't look mousey brown; it looked like chocolate and honey and caramel and it was extremely shiny, with long loose waves covering my shoulders.

As I had known, Alice forced me to wear the dress she sneaked in.

But it wasn't that bad; it was a deep blue sweater dress. The v-neck was a little low, but it showed my cleavage a decent bit (okay, more like ALL of it) and it stopped a few inches above my knee.

The black boots stopped just below the knee, giving me a little bit of support so I wouldn't break my ankle because of the heel.

"I look good," I breathed.

"Damn straight," Rosalie agreed, standing beside me.

"FINALLY!" Alice yelled from the closet. She came out, donning a pair of cute black heels that looked like any other heels Alice owned, smiling. Rosalie frowned at her.

"I didn't know I had those."

"Well now you do," she told her, smoothing out her own dress. She hadn't opted for a sweater dress, but something more of silk that clung to her and probably wasn't warm whatsoever. Maybe that was what she was thinking, though, and she wanted Jasper to warm her up.

"Can we go?" Alice asked, slipping her gray pea coat on and a scarf. "We said we'd be there in ten minutes and its twenty minutes to walk."

We braved the cold, and Rosalie was the only person not bitching about it, as we walked towards the bar. We arrived, only ten minutes late, to walk in and huddle around the nearest space heater that was set near the front door.

I glanced around the place. "This is it?"

She nodded. "Apparently Emmett and Jasper love this place. I don't know, though."

I looked around the place, looking for a sign of any of them. I saw Emmett laughing with a pool stick in his hand near the back of the bar. I couldn't see the other two because it was so crowded, but I assumed they were nearby.

"This way," I told them, maneuvering us through the sea of bodies.

"Girls!" Emmett boomed when he caught sight of us. He grinned at us and leaned his pool stick against the table and picked up his baby sister first.

Alice shrieked and pounded her little fists on his back but he laughed, and didn't bother putting her down before he just put her in Jasper's arms. She huffed and growled at both of them, and then leaned up to kiss Jasper.

Emmett hugged me and then Rosalie, and after a hug from Jasper, I shrugged out of my coat and threw it over the back of a chair of the bar table the guys had been using.

I eyed the three half empty beers, and then the two men in front of me. "Where's Edward?"

As if it was on cue, I heard a low whistle from behind me. I whirled around and nearly fell into Edward's chest. He shook his head while staring at my legs.

"Hi!" I squeaked.

He grinned crookedly and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. "Hi," he cooed. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "You're killing me, Bella."

I pulled away confused, but he very pointedly ran his eyes from my face, down to my exposed cleavage, and then back down to my legs. He smirked.

I felt my face heat and blushed furiously.

He pulled away to greet Alice and Rosalie, and then I heard Alice whisper in my ear, "So cute."

"Stop it," I hissed at her and glared over in her direction.

She rolled her eyes and kissed Jasper.

Edward and Emmett were in the middle of a game, so we settled at the table they occupied, while Jasper and Alice said they'd go run and get us drinks.

As Rose and I sat there watching Emmett and Edward play, I couldn't help but notice how…sensual the game was.

Maybe it wasn't to them, but I was definitely noticing a surge of heat between my legs as I watched Edward move around the table.

The way that he held the stick in his hands, so firm yet delicate enough to have it slip through his fingers when he shot. Or the way he furrowed his brow when aiming for a shot and he'd lick his upper lip in concentration. Or the way his shoulder tensed when he shot, and the way his long sleeve t-shirt would stretch across his lean muscles as he moved.

I was getting flushed already.

Rosalie was looking at me curiously, and then back to the guys, smiling. "It's a sight to see," she muttered.

I grinned sheepishly. "Enjoying the view?"

She arched an eyebrow at me and crossed her legs. "Aren't you?"

Alice and Jasper returned with our drinks, setting a martini down in front of me and something that smelled sweet in front of Rose. She just smiled knowingly and thanked Alice and Jasper, before turning back to watch Emmett bend over the table in front of us.

After another ten minutes, and almost another martini later, Edward came to the table grinning, with Emmett in tow scowling.

"You cheated," he cursed at his brother.

Edward laughed and picked up his discarded beer. "I did not."

"You did, and I'll prove it. Eventually." Emmett picked up his drink and chugged half of it.

"Who will I be beating next?" Edward boasted, smiling at me.

"I want to play!" Alice said suddenly. She leaned on Jasper, clutching his arm. "You said you'd play me, remember?"

Jasper smirked at her. "Of course."

Alice hopped out of her chair and took the stick from Edward. "Promise you'll go easy me, ok?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

Edward made a face behind their backs and smiled when I started giggling. Emmett rolled his eyes and slid in next to Rosalie, while Edward took the open spot on my right.

I let my eyes wander over Edward's chest as he pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and set them back on the table. His t-shirt was tight across his chest, but flowed a little bit away from his stomach. His jeans hung low on his hips, snugly though, and so delicious looking.

"Hello? Bella?" he chuckled, waving his hand in front of my face.

I blinked at him. "Huh?"

"Glad you could join us," he teased, leaning towards me.

I glanced up to see that Rosalie and Emmett were talking quietly to each other and kind of excluded themselves from Edward and I by turning their heads to face each other.

"Sorry, I zoned out," I explained.

"You do that a lot," he noted, still leaning a little.

I smiled, feeling my stomach tense up a little.

I was itching to ask him about the time he spent in New York, but I was almost scared that he wouldn't tell me, or worse—I would regret asking.

But I took in a deep breath and smiled at him, leaning on my elbows with him and leaning towards him. "Tell me about New York."

He blinked and furrowed his brows. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything," I told him, biting my lip. "Everything."

He licked his lips and looked down at his drink briefly, before meeting my gaze again. "New York," he started, shaking his head. "It's…a change a pace, you could say."

I nodded, eager for more.

He explained how he lived in a tiny, studio apartment that you could barely see fit for one person to live out of. He didn't mind though because apparently he didn't have very much stuff. He said the only thing he wanted room for was a piano. He said how he would ride the Subway to pass time when he was bored, how he used to come back from late nights at the hospital to watch people stumble out of bars at 3AM.

He told me how he grew to hate the city and that one day he realized there was nothing keeping him there and he moved back. When I asked if it was that simple, he just smiled and said, "I was tired of missing something everyday."

He asked about Charlie and Renee. He asked about Sue and the wedding, and how I got along with Leah and Seth, Sue's kids. He asked how Alice, Rosalie, and I got to be friends in the first place.

It was like we were both starving for information on each other, and neither of us were getting our fill.

At some point, he ventured to get me another martini. Alice and Jasper were still playing, and by the annoyed look on Jasper's face, Alice was beating him by a long shot.

Rosalie and Emmett had wandered off at some point to order us all some appetizers to munch on while we drank and played and still hadn't returned. When Edward brought me my drink and his own back, he slipped his chair closer to mine.

"Where were we?" he said huskily.

I just smiled at him because I apparently couldn't think of something coherent to say.

He grinned and started rambling some story about Alice that was intended to make me laugh, but I couldn't really hear him. Half way through the story, the bar erupted in cheers from some sports game, so he leaned into my ear to tell the rest.

And he also, very smoothly, placed his large warm hand on my knee.

It didn't seem to phase him whatsoever, because he just kept talking, but my heart was in over drive and my pulse was pumping out of control.

"And that's a game!" Alice shouted happily over the noise of the bar.

Jasper scowled at her and leaned his stick next to the table. "Beginners luck."

Edward laughed. "Jasper, she's not a beginner."

Alice smirked at her boyfriend, and then looked over at Edward and mine's close proximity, and his hand on my knee.

"What do you mean?"

"Emmett and I taught her to play."

His jaw dropped slightly as he narrowed his eyes. "When?"

"When she was fifteen."

"You lied!" he accused, but he was grinning a little.

"I did no such thing," she sang. "I just with held certain tid bits. You can't back out of our bet now, Jazz."

Jasper suddenly smirked and licked his lips, shaking his head. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Edward turned his head away and looked at me wide eyed. "Ew. Distract me, please before I think about their bet."

"Do you even know—"

"No, and I don't want to."

He shut his eyes tightly and I wanted to smack him for being over dramatic, but Alice and Jasper had gone to get another drink, so I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his cheek in a chaste kiss.

His eyes fluttered open and he grinned stupidly at me. "Did I distract you?" I asked after a second.

He looked at my lips and licked his own. "Yeah."

Edward leaned in, and I was more than a hundred percent positive that he was going to press his lips to mine, except Rosalie and Emmett chose that moment to come back with more drinks and food in their arms.

"We come baring gifts!" Emmett bellowed, laughing as he set down some plates in front of us.

Rose set down the drinks and smoothed out her shirt, like it had been wrinkled during their trip.

Edward sighed heavily, tickling my cheek and ate a couple of appetizers they had brought back. He turned to me after a minute, grinning. "Want to play?"

"Pool?"

He nodded. "Unless there's another game you'd like to play," he whispered, his voice low and dangerous. His eyes were smoldering, and looked almost pitch black in this light.

"Pool is good," I croaked.

He grinned, helping me out of the stool. "Do you know how?"

I shook my head, picking up the pool stick and twirling it while it was on the ground. Edward chuckled. "It's not difficult. Want to learn?"

I smiled and nodded, thinking whatever Edward could teach me I wanted to learn. Technically, I already knew how to play pool, because Charlie and Jake had both tried to teach me; however, I sucked horribly.

He grinned. "Come on," he cooed.

He began to rack the balls up properly. "The trick is to aim the stick where you want the ball to go," he started.

"Thanks, Einstein."

He grinned and shook his head. "Alright, if you're so good, let's see what you've got."

"Alright then." I aimed the cue ball towards the balls to break them. I was extremely aware of Edward standing directly behind me, so I made sure to bend over and wiggle my ass a little more than necessary. I aimed, and I shot.

And I missed. By a long shot.

I turned around, with my cheeks burning. Edward scratched the back of his head and tried not to laugh. "That's all you've got?" he said in a really strained voice. The corners of his lips were tugging up.

"Shut up." I made a point to whack him with my stick, but he moved out of the way.

"Sorry," he grinned. He picked up his drink to sip on it. "Come on, I'll show you the right way."

He leaned his pole against the wall and walked up behind me. I held perfectly still, because—well, I was afraid if I moved, he'd move away. So I became a statue as Edward pressed his chest into my back, and pushed my pole back into my hands.

He rested his hands on top of mine and started moving them along the stick. "First things first," he said in my ear. His breath was hot and it tickled my skin, and I wanted to shiver but I held it in. "You're holding it wrong. Move your hands to here," he shifted my fingers with his to hold the stick differently. "And hold it like this." He paused. I kept my eyes on our hands, because I couldn't chance melting into mush now.

"Okay," I breathed. "Easy enough."

"Mhmm," he hummed against me. I felt the vibrations from his chest on my back, making me close my eyes briefly, but I snapped them open when I realized I probably looked like a fool. "Lean forward."

I felt him bend with me and some weight on my back and he shifted a little to the side but I could still feel him against me, as he resituated his hands and his body. I pushed my ass back a little and nearly smiled when I heard Edward suck in a deep breath.

"Okay," he whispered. His voice was low and gravely, and it had the most delicious kind of edge to it. "Keep this hand like this. It has to hold the stick up." His right hand left mine and ran down my arm to hold onto my hip. "Now just aim…" he trailed off, and I actually concentrated a little and tried to aim the white ball towards all the colored ones. "Now shoot," he whispered against my neck.

His lips grazed my sensitive skin as he spoke and I wanted to slap him and kiss him for being the worst pool instructor ever, because there was no way I was making this shot.

My head limped to my shoulder a little, and Edward got more access to my neck. "Bella," he murmured as he kissed my shoulder. "You're supposed to shoot."

"Mmm, am I?" I mumbled. "I can't really concentrate."

"My apologies." Edward brushed his lips against my skin one last time and pulled away, almost completely but kept his hands on my hips. "Shoot. Remember what I told you."

The fog had lifted slightly, enough for me to focus on the balls, so I aimed and shot. And this time, I didn't miss. I actually got a ball in.

"Congratulations," he told me. "You're stripes."

"Beat his ass, Bells!" Rosalie shouted from the table.

I spun around and nearly gasped when I realized how close Edward was to me, ignoring the fact that Emmett and Rosalie were less the five feet from us. His hands instantly went to the table on either sides of my hips and he leaned in so his nose was almost touching mine.

"So you're solids?" I squeaked.

"Mhmm." He grinned crookedly and cocked his head to the right. "That's the idea."

I thought for two seconds he might kiss me—but sadly, he chuckled and pulled away to take his own turn.

I tried (and failed miserably) to keep up with him during the game, but after a few attempts I was sure it was safe to say pool was _not _my sport. Alice and Jasper came back with more drinks for all of us and tried to cheer me on, but after missing shots completely, my cheerleading squad got very silent.

Edward got bored after a while, I guess, and just started shooting all the balls in while I sat on the edge of the table and watched him.

He looked up at me while he was bent and about to shoot, arching an eyebrow. "What?"

I sipped on the martini Alice had handed me. "You look sexy."

His teeth grazed his lower lip as he smiled, and he tried to focus back on the balls, but I turned to face him more and hiked my dress up a little farther.

Instantly, his eyes snapped to the blue at my thigh and he froze his movements. He raised his eyes almost hesitantly, like it was the last thing he wanted to do, and smirked at me.

"Let's make a bet."

I sipped my drink and cocked my head to the side. "A bet? I thought you didn't like bets," I mocked him.

He walked around to me and stood in front of me, so I couldn't see our friends at the table near us. "No," he corrected me, "I don't like my little sister making bets. I, however, love making bets."

I picked an olive out of the drink with a tooth pick and brought it to my lips, and sucked on the end softly. Edward watched, licking his lips, before putting his hands on the top of my exposed thighs.

"What kind of bet?" I asked innocently.

He checked his watch and looked over his shoulder at everyone else. "I think we're supposed to be taking you guys home soon."

As if on cue, I tried to hide a small yawn with my hand. Edward shook his head, grinning. "If I can make the rest of the balls in with one shot, you'll come with me instead of going home," he said softly.

My insides did a summersault.

"Where?"

"It doesn't matter."

I bit my lower lip, glancing back at the table. There were three balls still on the table, at various sides. "You won't make it."

He smirked at me and grabbed the cue stick from next to me. "You underestimate me."

I wanted him to make it. I wanted him to make it so badly that I hopped off the table so I wouldn't distract him.

Edward lined up the stick with one of the balls, sticking his tongue out a little while he concentrated. His eyes narrowed, and he bent his arm back, and was about to shoot the ball—

"EDWARD!" Emmett yelled.

Edward's arm followed through with the shot, except Emmett interrupted his concentration and made him twitch half way through. We both watched as the ball he hit flew to another ball and sunk into a pocket, sending the other ball flying into anther and into a pocket. The last ball was hit, but missed the pocket by half an inch.

Edward met my eyes and scowled.

"That doesn't count," I told him. He shook his head, still scowling.

"What?" he snapped at Emmett, putting the sticks back up against the wall.

"You ready to head out?" Alice asked him.

Edward came up to me and sighed heavily. "I guess it's for the best," he mumbled. "I bet you're tired, aren't you?"

"A little…"

He smiled weakly and went to grab my coat and his. He shrugged his on, before holding mine out for me to slip my arms through. Emmett drove, so he offered us three a ride home so we wouldn't walk in the cold.

Edward rode in the passengers seat (based purely on his size; he was built a little bigger that Jasper) while Jasper and the three of us slid into the backseat, Alice perching herself happily on Jasper's lap.

I saw Emmett and Edward roll their eyes at each other.

We pulled up to our apartment and we got out, when Alice leaned in towards Emmett's window, her face flushed from all the alcohol. "Do you guys want to come up for a midnight snack or something? It's not that late."

Edward answered the same time Jasper did. "Yes!"

Emmett looked back at the two of them and then shrugged. "I guess that's a yes. Let me go park and we'll meet you guys up there."

We let ourselves into the apartment and Alice, drunkenly and stumbling around the kitchen, started to cook food.

"What are you making?" I asked, leaning on the counter.

"Grilled cheese," she said happily, slurring a little. She kicked off her heels without looking where they were going, and I dodged them, laughing as they hit the wall behind her.

Rosalie took out a water bottle and kicked off her shoes into her room. "I need to change," she told us.

"Yeah, I do too."

"I'll let them in!" Alice announced to us. "Do you think they're hungry?"

I giggled at her and shrugged. I walked into my room and shut the door, pulling out a pair of yoga pants I hadn't worn in a while and a tank top. I changed into them, taking my time since I was feeling the alcohol a little. I walked into the bathroom, smoothed out my hair and brushed my teeth.

There was a light knock from my door and a soft, "Bella?"

I froze with the toothbrush in my mouth. Edward opened the door a little and stepped inside to see me at my sink holding to the toothbrush, wide eyed.

"Hey," he smiled.

I leaned over the sink and spit out the toothpaste (but made sure he couldn't see it) and straightened up. "Hi!"

I walked into the room and stopped in front of him. His eyes raked over my new clothes, lingering on my chest, and then down to my gray pants. "Nice clothes," he observed.

"Thanks…"

Edward licked his lips for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, but this time, it made me think he was hungry, instead of just a nervous habit.

_Hungry for you, Bella._

I blushed at my own thoughts and he chuckled, cupping my cheek in his hands. "Why are you blushing?"

"N-nothing," I slurred a little and laughed.

"Surely it's something."

"Really, it's nothing."

He nodded, and looked me deeply in the eyes, and slowly lowered his face to mine.

I wanted the kiss to happen so badly, I could feel it in my toes. My heart leapt up into my throat and my skin broke out into goose bumps, and I sighed happily before he even touched me.

"Edward!" Alice called. "Do you want a grilled cheese?"

He froze less than an inch from my face. His nose brushed against my cheek and he sighed angrily. "What the _fuck," _he growled softly. Raising his voice slightly, he called out, "No, Alice." He pulled away after another second and shrugged out of his coat, laying it on my bed and turning back to me.

"I'm thirsty," I said awkwardly. He nodded, and followed me out of the room and into the kitchen. Everyone looked up at us and then back down to the sandwiches Alice had made them or whatever movie was playing from our TV.

I grabbed a Coke and popped it open, sitting up on the part of the counter that no one could see from the living room.

Edward quirked his eyebrow at me. "Caffeine this late?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm drunk enough where I'll fall asleep."

"Are you?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave.

He slowly made his way to me, putting his hands on my knees. "Mhmm," I hummed.

Edward ran his hands up to my hips and sighed heavily, never breaking eye contact with me. "I have a confession."

"Do tell," I teased him.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman and be respectful, but I'm having a hard time tonight," he whispered.

I looked at him quizzically and sipped my coke.

His fingers danced lazily across my clothes, making me shiver in his arms. "All I've wanted to do tonight was to kiss you, throw you on that pool table and have my way with you."

My lips parted in surprise, and a shot of desire rippled through me.

Suddenly his hands weren't on my hips any more; they were in his hair, tugging it to no end. "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate. I'm a little drunk—"

"Edward."

He rested his hands back on my hips and looked me in the eye, his eyes almost pitch black and completely smoldering. "I'm dying to kiss you, Bella."

My tongue ran over my bottom lip almost automatically. "Then kiss me," I whispered just as softly.

He didn't need me to say anything else, apparently. He grabbed my face and held me tightly, before putting his lips to mine.

He kissed me softly, but passionately. His tongue swept over my bottom lip, and I sighed into his mouth, feeling my heart rate shoot through the roof.

We broke apart and he kissed my jaw, not like he was in a rush, but like he just wanted to show another part of my body affection. I could feel him smiling against my skin and I giggled a little.

"Alright, I'm heading to bed," Rosalie announced.

"Me too," Alice yawned, but it sounded forced.

"Yeah, we should get going," Emmett told the guys. Jasper cleared his throat.

"Actually I'm spending the night here," he told Emmett.

Edward froze and then sighed. I nudged him with my foot and he shook his head. "I'll get used to it…eventually."

I rolled my eyes at him. "They've been together for a while now."

"Just a few months."

"That's a while."

He gave me a look like he wanted to argue, but Emmett walked into the kitchen as Edward moved to my side instead of standing in front of me.

"I guess it's just us then. Ready?"

I wanted to ask him to stay, so badly, that my voice actually raised a strangled sound, but I didn't make the words.

Edward nodded, walking into my room to retrieve his coat off my bed, and then came to me, where I was waiting by the front door. I was acutely aware that everyone was watching us.

It didn't seem to phase him. He smiled down at me, and whispered, "I'll call you tomorrow," and bent down to kiss me again.

This kiss wasn't passionate or lust filled; it actually was extremely sweet and kind, with his lips barely moving over mine. Afterwards he pressed a peck to my lips and pulled away, grinning like an idiot, as he and Emmett walked out of the door.

Alice hummed loudly and winked at me, dragging Jasper to her bedroom and locking it. Rosalie stood with her hip cocked to the side and her brows furrowed.

"It's about fucking time," she growled, and then went into her room and shut the door.

I locked the deadbolt and grinned, still feeling the tingling on my lips from his kiss.

Rosalie was right; it was about fucking time.

*

_Look at that, the clock never lies. It's a quarter 'til too late. _


	11. Chapter 11

Real life sucks. Sorry for the delay.

**I own nothing.**

"Love is like a fire; it either consumes or purifies."

**Bella**

*

The next day was passing so slowly, it was like it was being played in ultra slow motion. The kind where you press pause on the DVD player, and then fast forward, and then pause again, so the damn machine gets broken and stuck in that stage where it takes someone a minute to blink.

Okay, that's a little dramatic.

But it was taking forever.

By the time I had gotten up in the morning, Alice was awake making herself eggs, and Jasper was no where in sight.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked, sitting down at the breakfast bar.

She added some different things she had chopped up and smiled at me. "He left to shower."

I nodded and picked up a banana, not really paying attention to it, just tossing it in my hands.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Alice asked after a minute of silence. She was probably dying for me to say I had plans with Edward, but honestly I didn't. I didn't have plans whatsoever.

"Umm, nothing, actually."

"Oh," she sounded so disappointed. "Well Jasper is taking me on a date!"

I wanted to laugh at her over enthusiasm, because it was so cute. "Where to?"

She bit her lower lip. "I don't know. He said it was a surprise."

I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled at her. "I'm sure it'll be nice."

She nodded; her answering smile was dazzling. "I know it will be."

Rosalie was dressed for the day, despite the early hour. Her long blonde hair was swept in a low pony tail with her bangs framing her face and looked extremely cute in a pair of jeans and boots with a tight grey sweater stretched across her chest.

"What are your plans for tonight, Rosie?" Alice chirped, sipping her coffee.

Rose shot her a disapprovingly look before answering. "Just because you have a date doesn't mean you can rub it in our faces."

Alice scowled. "That wasn't my intention. My only thought was that a little birdie told me last night of someone who wants to take _you _on a date…"

Rosalie's perfectly tweezed brow arched at her. "Oh yeah? Who's that?"

"My brother."

It was hard to not notice the way Rosalie's face lit up when Alice uttered the words. "Emmett?" she asked, her voice a little higher than normal.

Alice nodded, taking a bite of her food. "Mhmm."

Rosalie looked like she was day dreaming for a second, but snapped out of it and sighed heavily. "Well that's good for him. I have plans tonight, though."

"With who?" I asked. I was hoping that she wouldn't have anything to do so we could hang out together.

"No one special," she said coolly. She flipped her hair and took a bite of an apple, collapsing next to me on the stool.

Both Alice and I wanted to press it, to find out just what she was doing or _who _she was doing, but neither of us said anything. Instead Alice drank the rest of her coffee and I tossed the banana back on the counter without touching it again.

The day continued to drag on. At one point I decided I would stare at the clock just to test my theory of time passing more slowly than usual. I watched the minute hand make the smallest move from 4:00pm to 4:01pm. I rolled my eyes at it and started cleaning the apartment to pass the time.

Alice had scrambled out of the apartment some time around six forty-five. Rosalie had sashayed out shortly after, claiming to see me later on tonight.

I was alone. And starving.

I started cooking some chicken for dinner, and brought a pan of water to a boil. I picked my phone off the counter and scrolled to the person I was dying to call.

My name hovered over the call button, almost like it was trying to tempt me to press it. I groaned, shutting it, and tossing it back on the counter.

I was dying to see Edward; partially because I enjoyed his company way too much, but more importantly, I was horny as hell.

As I stirred the pasta into the pot, I started to think of ways to make Edward screw his morals or whatever was holding him back and to ravish me.

We had obviously gotten to the point where he would kiss me in front of both of our friends, so what was left? What obstacles were left to over come? There was none I could see, so I began constructing a plan to seduce him.

And the plan contained a lot of wine, a lacey little black dress, and my favorite pair of pumps.

I poured myself a very healthy glass of wine while I cooked. Alright, wine: check. Lace? I looked down at my yoga pants and tank top and cringed. Turning down the food, I went into my room.

If I wasn't getting laid tonight at least I could get drunk by myself and get dolled up to work on my strategy.

Alice, Rosalie, and I had done this since college. If there was a night one of us was down or depressed, we'd break out the wine or liquor (usually liquor) and get what Rose called "sexed up" to lift our moods. We'd end up getting wasted and watching trash TV or something. So why was the getting dolled necessary? We never figured it out, but it always made us feel better for some reason.

I picked out a black lace dress (that was really better described as lingerie) that I had bought to wear with Jake but never got around to it. It fit like a glove, stopping right under my ass cheeks and pushing my rack up to play.

_Helloooo cleavage._

I slipped on a pair of my strappy heels and assessed myself in the mirror. The makeup I applied earlier when I thought about going shopping was still in place, and my hair was just kind of hanging there but it didn't look half bad.

I smiled. _Wine? _Check. _Lace? _Double check. _Pumps? _I was officially a triple threat.

I walked into the kitchen, surprising not tripping in the stupid heels. Before I knew it, I was on my second glass of wine. And then a third.

I flipped the chicken in the skillet and formed my plan.

I'd invite Edward over for dinner one night that I could have the apartment to myself. I'd open up a bottle of wine and woo him with my culinary skills. We'd retire into the living room to watch television or something, still with our wine and we'd be having a great intense conversation when my legs or chest would distract him. He'd lick his lips and say, "Bella, I want you." And then he'd take me.

Okay, it had a few kinks to work out. But the little details were minute. The end result was always the same—Edward and me wearing little to no clothing.

I cut off a bite of chicken to see if it was white all the way through when I heard a knock on the door. Sighing, because it was probably Alice forgetting her keys or her phone or something else that was weirdly valuable to her, I walked out of the kitchen, concentrating very hard on not tripping in the heels.

I peeked through the peep hole and caught my breath.

Edward.

Edward stood on the other side of the door, his hands deep in his coat pocket, and a scarf hanging loosely around his neck.

I backed away from the door slightly as he knocked again.

Why was he here? Think, Bella. Breathe, Bella. I put my fingers at my temple and winced; there was too much wine in my system for me to try and figure out why he was here.

_Then open the door, moron._

All this thinking of how to inspire Edward to attack me and here he was, on the other side of the door while I stood on the other side freaking out.

He knocked again.

Taking in a deep breath, I put my hand on the door knob and counted to three. I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door, leaning against it and smiling. "Hey."

His smile was enough to make me melt into a muddle of mush in my door way. "Hi." His eyes suddenly traveled down my face to my body, where they grew wide as saucers and his jaw dropped slightly.

What was he staring…oh fuck.

Red crept up my neck and chest as Edward ogled at me. "I'm in my underwear, aren't I?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. Why had I not looked down before answering the door?

"Um…" he coughed, not raising his eyes, instead dropping them lower to the hem of the dress and my legs. "Sort of?" he stated, but it was more of a question, as he took in my shoes.

I was burning alive at this moment. _Great, he probably thinks you're some sort of slut or something, or worse._ I tried to hide my body behind the door, making Edward's eyes meet mine. "Um…"

"Are you expecting someone?" he asked quietly, irritation present in his voice.

"What? No!" I said too quickly. "No," I repeated. "I just felt like…dressing up."

"Or down," he smirked, looking around the door at me.

"Really, it's just something that Alice, Rosalie, and I do when we're bored sometimes. But neither of them are here, so I was doing it by myself."

"Mhm."

"So it's kind of like I was having a date with myself, you know?" Oh God, Bella, stop talking. The word vomit…it wouldn't stop. "I was making myself dinner and have a glass of wine," _or four, "_and who knows maybe I'll get lucky at the end of the night."

Edward was trying not to laugh. "Bella?" he asked sweetly.

"Yes?"

"You talk too much." He grinned at me, and looked into the apartment. "May I come in?"

I opened the door wide enough for him to come through, temporarily forgetting that I was in the nonexistent dress. But as soon as his eyes landed on my chest, I felt awkward again.

"I…I'm going to change."

"If you'd like," he drawled, pulling his scarf from around his neck. "Although I'm thoroughly enjoying the view."

I blushed even deeper and started to make my way back to my room. Once I entered, I kicked off the heels and was starting to take off the dress but I stopped.

_Edward is here, in your apartment, alone. You are in lace and have wine. Dinner is cooking. Sound familiar, like a plan for seduction?_

I bit my lip. Could I really do this?

I spotted my dark blue silk robe hanging on the back of my bathroom door and smiled.

Yes, I could.

I slipped the robe over the dress and walked back, Edward standing in the kitchen poking around the pots and pans.

When I cleared my throat, his eyes snapped to mine, and then to the short hem line of my robe. I could almost hear the cranks in his mind turning, trying to figure out if I was still wearing the lace underwear-dress-thing.

"So you never answered my question," I accused him. "Why are you here?"

He licked his lips, distracting me. "I was in the neighborhood."

I nodded, not buying it. "You were in the neighborhood."

He leaned against the counter, smirking. "Yeah…after I drove a few blocks I was in the neighborhood."

I shot him a look that read _bullshit_ and he caught it, because he chuckled.

"I actually was going to ask you if you wanted to join me for dinner," he trailed off, watching me drain pasta. "But I don't want to interrupt your date with yourself," he teased.

"Would you like to eat with me?" I teased him right back, but I was holding my breath for his response.

He licked his lower lip and smiled. "What are we having?"

I couldn't stop smiling, so instead of looking like an idiot, I turned away from him. "We've got sautéed chicken in bread crumbs, which will be served over penne pasta with roasted zucchini, peppers, and carrots with a garlic alfredo sauce," I told him in a serious voice, stirring the vegetables.

He crossed his ankles. "Sounds fancy."

"Oh it's really not," I explained to him. "It's a complicated way of saying chicken, veggies and pasta."

He smirked. "You make it sound so appetizing though."

I licked my lips and flipped the chicken breasts, thinking to myself how I wanted more than the food to be appetizing to him, but held my tongue. I wasn't going to push my luck that fast.

Edward looked over to the half empty bottle of wine and then to my very full glass. "Just _one _glass, huh?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "Maybe I was stretching the truth just a little bit," I giggled.

He cocked his head to the side. "I don't know if I've ever heard you giggle."

"I giggle when I'm drunk."

"I like it."

I licked my lip and turned away, before he had the chance to ask if I had a permanent sunburn because I was always so red.

Edward just stood and stared at me while I prepared our plates of food.

"What?" I asked after a second, because I was tired of him just staring at me and not saying anything.

"Nothing," he replied, but I could hear a hint of a smile.

"No, what?" I

"It's just that…." He trailed off, and suddenly he was behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, tugging at the tie of my robe. My hair fell to the side, exposing a side of my neck where he ran his nose against my skin. "I've never found cooking to be sexy until now."

I opened my mouth to say something, except he chose that moment to kiss my neck and all coherent thought went out the window. I made some sort of strangle whimper and he chuckled against my skin.

Okay, screw the dinner. Screw it all. I was two seconds away from pulling the robe off and telling to have his way with me.

His lips dragged across my skin and my stomach growled.

Damnit. He chuckled at me, obviously amused, before loosening his hands on my waist.

"Dinner's ready," I rasped, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from me. "This smells amazing, Bells," he complimented me. "Thank you."

"No problem," I blushed, settling down next to him at the table.

I sat at the head of the table while Edward was on my left, and his knee kept brushing against mine, making me go crazy.

He took a bite into his plate and groaned, shaking his head. "That's it. You're coming home with me and never leaving," he moaned, taking another bite. He grinned sheepishly. "This is delicious."

I bit my lower lip and drank some more wine because I couldn't deal with all the compliments he was throwing at me. And plus, I didn't want to think of how badly I wanted to go home with him and never leave.

After we ate, he argued to help me do the dishes. The wine was swimming in my blood stream so he didn't have to persuade me with much.

I was extremely aware of him as he stood behind me while I rinsed out the pots and pans. Even more when I bent over to put them away in the dishwasher. And when I turned around, he was right there, staring down at me with a surge of intensity that made my knees weak.

He didn't say anything, just stared at me with a smoldering glare that I could feel down to my bones. He took a step toward me, trapping me against the counter. His mouth was slightly curled up on one side, in the slightest hint of a smirk. He tugged the loose tie of the robe free, dipping his hands inside.

He sucked in a harsh breath seeing the dress again.

I bit my lip, watching him as he pushed the silk off my shoulders, leaving me standing in front of him in nothing but the stupid lace.

He looked like he was going to devour me.

_SUCCESS! Good attack plan, Bella._

His eyes danced lazily down my chest, taking in my lace form, while his hands came to rest on my hips and pushed me against the counter.

"Bells…" he barely whispered.

We were both panting already, as he dipped his head closer to mine, his hands holding me firmly to his body. One hand ventured out to my ass cheek, as his nose ran along my neck.

"Mmm," I moaned already. There was an intolerable amount of tension between my legs that only got worse with each passing second. I needed him. I needed friction. _Something_.

He pressed a kiss into my jaw just below my ear and I whimpered in annoyance. He pulled away, smirking again, before he slowly brought his head down to mine, pushing his lips to mine.

We had been kissing for point five seconds when Edward's BlackBerry started ringing from the front of his jeans. He froze, eyes still closed, before he pulled away and cursed loudly. "Fuck," he growled.

He pressed the reject button and then turned it off. He turned to me, his eyes lit like they were emerald fires, and asked, "Where's your phone?"

"In my purse," I said, taking a sip of wine.

"Where's that?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, but went into my room and brought out my purse, digging through it to retrieve my phone. He grabbed it out of my hand, turned it off, and then shut it.

"What are you—"

"There will not be anymore interruptions tonight from our phones," he said roughly, opening the refrigerator and sticking both of our phones on the first shelf.

I giggled. "So you put them in the fridge?"

When he turned around, my words seemed to get lost in my throat. His eyes were devilishly dark and he had a deviant looking smirk on his lips as he sauntered back towards me. "Yes, in the fridge." He retrieved his wine glass and took a sip, never breaking my eye contact. "If someone is going to interrupt again, they're going to have to deal with me physically."

I had enough wine in my system to not be afraid of making the move. Hell, he had kissed me two seconds before and I wanted him too badly. I sauntered up to him, shoved him against the fridge, and put my lips to his.

He responded immediately, his mouth opening eagerly for mine, and his hands trailing down my curves to press me firmly against his lean body. His tongue swept across my lower lip and I moaned, pushing myself harder against him.

He pushed us off the fridge and to the counter, picking me up and setting me on the counter so he could settle between my legs. It was a little déjà vu, but I ignored it.

Edward fidgeted a little when things got heated—he was like a kid in the candy store: there was too much that he wanted to do. He wanted to massage my ass, put his hands on my thighs, play with my chest, undress me, and all within the same breath.

Instead I forced him to focus on one thing at a time, keeping his arms around me. My arms wound around his neck and my hands fisted in his hair, as his tongue made fluid strokes against mine.

He groaned when I tugged on his hair, and I moaned, needing friction ASAP.

He pulled me off the counter, and we kept making out as we tried to somehow get to my room. We ran into the kitchen table, where we peeled his shirt off. He shoved me against the wall next to my bedroom door, where he peeled down the straps of my dress and I unfastened his belt and unzipped his jeans.

Finally we made it through my room, clothes being shed like second skin as he kicked the door shut behind him. So fast I nearly got dizzy, he pushed me to the door, attacking my neck.

"Oh God," I moaned loudly.

He licked down to my collar bone, planting wet open mouth kisses and nips across my skin. He pushed down my dress over my chest, groaning when my breasts bounced free.

"More perfect than I remembered," he mumbled, catching one of my pink nipples in his mouth, while rolling the other between his fingers.

"Ohh!" I moaned, arching my back to offer more to him.

I could feel his lips forming a smile against me as he sucked, nipped, licked, and did other amazing things that men had never been able to do to my nipples. The tension between my legs was almost unbearable, and although his dick felt amazing through his jeans, I wanted to feel more of him.

He switched to the other nipple, sending me into another wave of ecstasy.

"Edward—"I gasped.

He mumbled something against my skin and dropped to his knees. I stared down at him, panting, as he peeled the dress off over my hips and down my legs, watching me through his long dark lashes.

He lifted up my legs slightly so he could maneuver the dress out of the pile at my feet and threw it over his head. He slipped his fingers underneath my lace thong and slowly dragged them down my legs as well.

I stood completely naked in front of Edward, panting and soaking wet. He kissed the front of my thigh, using his tongue to make soft quick strokes against my over heated skin. His other hand came up to my ass behind me and started manhandling me in the most delicious way, and I made a mental note that Edward was an ass guy.

He paused right in front of where I wanted him most and grazed his lips against my skin. "Bella," he whispered, his lips tickling my skin. "Put your foot on my shoulder."

I obliged, and not even a second later was rewarded with Edward lips on my clit and his tongue circling around me.

"Fuck," I groaned loudly, my head hitting the door behind me.

Edward sucked my clit into his mouth, rubbing his tongue against it in circular and torturous motions, while he slipped two fingers into me.

My orgasm was fast approaching. He seemed to notice and quickened his skilled fingers. Right as he brought me to the edge he bit down gently on me, making a strangled cry leave my throat as I came undone against him.

I looked down at him as he pressed kisses into my inner thigh down to my knees. He smirked up at me, grabbing my leg by my ankle and gently lifting it off his shoulder. He stood and kissed me hard, his body pinning me to the door and his over eager hands roaming all over my skin.

We were making out like horny teenagers, our bare chests pressing together and panting and clawing like we were never going to get enough of each other. Which was partially true; I would never get enough of Edward.

We gradually made our way over to my bed, somehow without knocking anything else over or falling over ourselves. As soon as his legs came into contact with it, I pushed him over to fall on his back.

He was a sight to see; his chest bare and rising rapidly from his erratic breathing, his hair in disarray, his lips swollen, and his jeans unzipped and sagging dangerously low on his hips.

Drawing confidence from the wine, I straddled him, leaning down to kiss him again. I worked my way down his defined jaw and to his neck, pressing sensual open mouth kisses to his overheated skin.

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath.

I kissed down his neck, running my tongue down the very outlined muscle that connected his neck and shoulder, earning a violent shudder that rippled through him.

Edward's chest was perfection. His pecs were defined and somewhat tanned, like he had gotten a good amount of sun over the summer and it hadn't faded yet. His abdomen was lean and muscular, divided into six small, but taut, ridges that led down to the V-shape of his hips…where a small dark trail of hair led below his boxers and jeans…

I kissed each one of his abs, before dipping my tongue to outline them. I felt pretty satisfied when I heard him exhale sharply and felt the skin quiver underneath me.

When I got to his jeans, I looked up at him through my lashes and whispered, "Lift."

He smirked and complied, lifting his hips and helping me kick off his jeans as well as his socks.

I slipped my hand beneath the waist band of his boxers, he inhaled deeply through clenched teeth, watching me wiggle his boxers down his hips and legs.

Edward's penis was a sight; not that a penis itself is really _attractive_ per say, but the sight of his dick was enough to send tremors through me and make me riled up again. And there, standing at full attention, long and thick, was making my mouth water as well.

He stared at me, smirking as if he knew what was going on in my mind. "Like what you see?" he asked smugly, trying to pull me back up to kiss me.

But I had other ideas. Instead, I reached down, grasped the base of his member firmly, and put the tip of it between my lips.

"Jesus fucking Christ_," _Edward hissed, quickly like it was one word, his hands clenching my sheets tightly.

I smiled as I took more of him in my mouth, working him both ways with my hands as well. After a moment, Edward lifted his hips to thrust farther, and his hand tangled at the back of my head, helping me set a rhythm that he liked.

And apparently, he liked it too much.

He pulled away suddenly, tugging on my hair so I would come up. I sat up but barely got all the way up before Edward flipped us over and started to kiss my body everywhere again.

"Edwa—Ohh!"

Edward slipped two fingers between my slick folds, teasing me slightly at first. I threw my head back and arched my chest towards him, needing the friction so badly again. He smirked and slipped his fingers inside of me, moving them within me, thrusting and pushing his thumb against my clit.

I was clawing and mewling, making sounds I didn't even know I made during sex. He twisted his fingers or _something_ and I cried out, as his thumb brushed against me again.

I wasn't sure what was happening to me. I had just had an orgasm less than five minutes ago, yet here I was, throwing my head back _again_, wanting this man to bring me back to the edge. It had never been like this before. It had never been a desire to constantly feel connected.

He lowered his mouth to my clit and sucked it between his teeth, continuing to pump his fingers in me like there was no tomorrow. I arched my back and gripped my head board, trying to find something I could hold on to so I knew the pleasure was real.

At one point, Edward reached up and tossed one of the pillows over my head, lightly, while laughing. "You're going to wake all your fucking neighbors," he told me, but the tone of his voice sounded like he didn't want me to stop.

I put the pillow next to me and glared at him, but he just grinned and licked me, making me forget whatever he just did.

His tongue slipped in side of me and holy hell, he felt amazing. With the combination of his tongue and his fingers working me, especially so quickly after the first time, I came undone quickly.

He rode out my orgasm with me, moving his fingers as I was clenching, before kissing me again roughly. He pulled away, lust glazing his eyes and asked, "Condoms?"

_I just had two orgasms. Can you handle another, Bella?_

_Yes._

I nodded, and pointed to the top drawer of my nightstand. I was thankful that he didn't ask why I had condoms, because it really was just a safety precaution, like a time like this. He ripped the drawer open and pulled out a box of foils. He put them on top of the nightstand and started to close the drawer when he froze.

"What?" I asked.

What was in the drawer that he would…_Oh._

He pulled out my vibrator, grinning at me.

"Oh…that." My whole body had to be a tomato at the moment.

Edward arched an eyebrow at me, and then ran his finger over Rabbit, shaking his head. "Also remind me to use that on you sometime," he said hungrily.

I squeaked.

Edward ripped open a condom and rolled it onto his length. He settled himself back between my legs and kissed me again, still roughly and demanding.

"Bella," he rasped.

I looked at him quizzically. He shifted, and the tip of his dick slipped inside of me. I moaned and tried to take the rest of him in, but he held back.

He stared at me, his nose brushing against mine and his breath blowing across my face.

"You make me want you," he growled. "And I can't get enough."

Before I could even comprehend what he had said, he thrust all the way into me, both of us groaning at the contact.

It was a tight fit. I hadn't been laid in almost four months, and Edward was extremely well endowed, making it a little painful. I tensed and he stopped, staring at me.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again, and clenched around him. He groaned and thrust into me, putting his head on my shoulder.

In the middle of his next thrust, he hit the most amazing spot that made me cry out and rip my nails across his back. He hissed in pain but only thrust against me harder, and kissed me more thoroughly.

We were both sweating at this point, his sweat mixing with mine. His hair was matted to his forehead a little and mine was to the back of my neck.

He lifted me up slightly and thrust at the same time, hitting that same amazing spot, making me scream out. He laughed breathlessly and kept thrusting, holding on to my hips to help him.

Over and over, his thrusts became more urgent and his grunts and groans became needier and more frequent.

I was gasping and making sounds into his ear again that I didn't recognize, but apparently it just urged him on more. At one point I was moaning and crying out so loudly that I put the pillow over my _own _head to try and mask the sounds, but Edward ripped it off of my face and threw it against the door behind him, glowering something about how he wanted everyone to know he was making me his.

I think, at lease. I'm not the most observant during sex, so he could have said something completely different, and I only heard what I wanted to hear.

"Oh fuck," he cursed, his brow furrowed in concentration. "I can't…" he licked his lips and thrust into me all the way, enjoying the way I cried out his name. "I can't last much longer."

"I can't either," I panted.

He reached down to where we were joined and pinched my clit roughly between his fingers. I gasped and arched my back, feeling tremors working through my body.

"Fuck, yes!" I cried out.

"Oh God, Bella," he groaned into my neck. "Fuck, oh fuck."

He began rubbing my clit furiously, trying to coax me into climaxing. "Come Bella," he crooned. "I want to see you. To feel you."

Edward pulled away to look me in the eye as my orgasm over took me. My back arched, my throat ached from the cries and screams, and my nails dug forcefully into and across his back.

After a few more thrusts, Edward stilled on top of me, emptying himself into the condom with a low moan.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, with his face buried back into my neck, his hands holding himself up on either side of me. His breath was still slightly labored, and I could feel the sticky sweat that had started to dry on his skin.

Careful not to make a mess, Edward pulled out of me and rolled the condom off of him.

He collapsed down next to me on the bed, tossing the used condom in the trash at my desk. He threw his arm over my waist and pulled me towards him. "Jesus," he groaned softly, burying his head into my hair.

"What?" I rasped. Damn, I just about lost my voice.

He pulled his head away, smirking. "You are without a doubt the most vocal woman I've ever been with. I almost forgot how much so."

I blushed at his words, even though he cupped my face and kissed me. "It's amazing," he said softly.

"I'm not usually like that."

"What are you usually like then?" he teased, running his hands down my body, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake.

"Um," I gasped, trying not to pay attention to it. "I uh…I don't scream. Ever."

"Continue," he murmured, kissing my shoulder.

"And I don't usually moan loudly either."

"Mhmm."

"And…" I swallowed thickly. What the hell? I just had three orgasms and the man already had me trembling for another. "I uhm…"

"What else are you normally not like, Bella?" he said, running his nose along my neck.

"I don't scratch. I've actually never used nails during sex," I said softly.

Edward pulled away and suddenly grinned. "Well please continue to do so. I find it a turn on." He kissed me and sat up, slipping his boxers on. "I'm going to grab our clothes," he said, when I looked a little panicked.

He got off the bed and slipped the fabric over his hips and turned to walk out of the room when I gasped. He whipped around to see what was wrong, but I shook my head and covered my mouth with my hands.

"What?"

"N-nothing."

He shook his head and held up a finger, slipping back into the living room. He returned a second later with all of our clothes and dropped them in the floor.

"What were you gasping about?"

"Your…back."

He walked to my dresser and glanced over his shoulder to inspect his back and laughed. "You did a number on me."

I cringed and he just laughed some more, coming over to the bed. "Did you not hear what I just said? I like it. No, actually, I love it. It makes me feel good that I'm making you feel so good that you can't control yourself."

I blushed, but bit my lip and I fell back on to the bed with a satisfied smile plastered across my face. Edward hovered over top of me, that eyebrow of his up again, as he kissed my collar bone. "What do you think you're doing, Ms. Swan?"

"Um…sleep?" I offered, my voice extremely high and unconvincing.

A devilish smirk appeared on his lips as he crouched over me and caught my lips with his. His hands traveled from my cheek to my side, leaving a trail of fire with his finger tips, stopping at my now throbbing again ache. He ran a finger up my slit and chuckled against my lips as I moaned into his mouth and bucked my hips towards his hand.

He pulled away and shook his head at me. "No, you're not. I'm not anywhere _near_ finished with you, Swan. Turn over and get on your knees," he commanded, pulling my hand from his shoulder and wrapping it around his hard again cock.

I grinned and kissed his lips one last time before flipping over.

**

_Hmm, do _you_ feel the heat? _


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Yeah, I know. No need to bring up the time. It's explained below.

I own nothing.

Ch 12

**BPOV**

"You and I are a story that never gets told."

* * *

The longer you hold something, the heavier it begins to feel.

There was something heavy draped across my hip. Confused, I tried wiggling my hips slightly to figure out what was pinning me to the bed without opening my eyes. The object weighing me down pulled me closer to the bed and back against something warm and firm.

And then I heard a slight mumble and a sigh from behind me. I opened my eyes one at a time, taking in the sight around me. I was in my bed, in my room, with my sheets and blankets pulled up to my chin to trap some warmth inside. It was how I always woke up Sunday mornings, yet this one was different—I wasn't waking up alone.

The night before rushed back to me in a series of flash backs. The dress, Edward, the dinner, the kissing…and the fucking. _Oh, _the fucking. I couldn't necessarily leave out the best part.

I wish there was a time machine. Because if such a thing existed, we would be able to rewind, fast forward, and pause our lives to all the parts that we enjoyed, were looking forward to, or caught in the moment.

Also though, we'd be able to avoid things we knew were coming.

Like the inevitable morning after.

The sex had been better the first time. Actually, it couldn't even be _compared_ to the first time, because there were several rounds last night and each one was better than the previous. I flexed my muscles slightly and bit back a groan with soreness.

Edward's arm was firmly around my waist, holding me securely to him like he was afraid I'd get out of bed. I turned around in his arm to face him, watching his face as he slept.

I was just giddy over the fact that he was _here_ when I woke up, and not gone like last time.

I reached up and brushed away some of his mussed up hair, giggling when it just fell right back into his face.

I lazily traced the tip of my finger over his features; over his closed eyelids, down his high cheek bones and the tip of his nose, over his full lips and along his jaw line, before I began my way back up.

"That tickles," he mumbled.

I froze with my finger on his cheek and squeaked. "You-you're awake?"

"Mmm, barely," he didn't bother opening his eyes as he answered me. Instead he pulled me on top of him with the corners of his lips tugging up slightly. "Although if I was promised to have you naked in my bed with me whenever I woke up I may never sleep."

I blushed. "You're in my bed."

He finally peeked open one of his eyes and glanced around the room. "So it seems."

I rested my chin on his chest to watch him while he closed his eye again and sighed. His hands began to dance lightly across my bare back, tickling me and teasing along my spine. I sighed happily.

"Stop doing that," he groaned.

"What?"

"Sighing."

I blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

He opened both of his eyes, blinking a few times as they focused on me instead of the back of his eyelids. "Stop sighing like that," he repeated.

"Why?"

"Because," he explained, placing his hands on my hips and situating me on him so I was straddling him. I gasped, feeling his bare erection pressing into my stomach. "You make that sound right after you come. Right after the screaming my name," he added cockily.

I arched an eyebrow at him. I had to admit, feeling him pressing against me already had me getting riled up, and feeling our bare chest pressed together wasn't helping matters either.

"Do I?"

"Mhmm. It's nice," he answered, grinning at me.

His hands were already wandering. His left hand rand softly up my side to reach between us and fondle my left breast while his right hand wandered down to between my thighs.

I gasped as he pinched my nipple between his fingers and as he lightly flicked his middle finger against my clit. "Mmmm…"

He chuckled, obviously amused at my reaction to him this early in the morning. Our eyes met and he removed his hand from my breast and tangled it in my hair as he kissed me.

It was slow, yet heated. His tongue gently lapped at my mouth, sucking and kissing and licking every inch that made me wild.

We were both panting very soon, and suddenly he threw me on my back, his hands roaming everywhere on me as he assaulted me with his mouth.

"Edward," I mumbled on his lips.

"Shh," he told me.

I wanted him to continue, but with how vocal we had both been last night, there was no way we could have an encore performance this morning. I was ninety-nine percent positive that both Alice and Rosalie were both home.

"Edward," I tried again.

"What?" he said, aggravation present. He pulled away to look at me with his brows furrowed.

"We can't—"

"Why not?" He said quickly, and then his brows smoothed out. "Oh." He got off of me so quickly I thought I had burned him, and then sat up on the side of the bed.

Well I didn't mean for him to _leave._ "You don't have to go…"

"No, it's okay," he said tensely. "I just…" he looked back at me, obviously frustrated.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He started to stand up and pull his boxers on, which he had a little difficulty doing since he was pitching a major tent.

Annoyed, I got up and slipped on his button down shirt and stood in front of him. Edward lifted his jeans off the floor and sighed heavily at the sight of me. "May I have my shirt, Bella?"

"No, you may not until you're telling me why you're leaving."

He scratched his head. "Look, I know we were both drinking last night and we may have not made the best decisions, but I don't think it was wrong. But I'm not about to make you feel uncomfortable and have to lay in bed with me naked—"

"Wait, what?"

His eyebrows shot up. Did he just say…did he really think…oh wow, he was thick. "Edward," I said slowly, "I don't regret last night at all."

He looked even more confused than a moment earlier. "Then why did you say we can't…?"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice and Rosalie are here. And I remember someone putting a pillow over my face several times last night."

He grinned deviously. "Oh Bella, you can be quiet if you tried," he tormented me, suddenly cunning and forgetting the jeans in his hand. He reached for my waist and pulled me to him, making me shriek and giggle as we fell to my bed in a tangle of arms and legs.

He kissed down my neck and I smiled, relishing in the feeling of his lips on my skin. I began tugging off his boxers and he laughed against my collar bone as he helped me ease them down. He didn't make any move to remove his shirt from me, and when I began to pull it from my arms he stopped me.

"I like it," he said, and then pulled the fabric aside and latched his wet mouth to my nipple.

I groaned quietly, fisting my fingers into his luscious hair. He growled against me, only teasing them harder the harder I pulled his hair.

I pulled him back to me and we kissed again, this time even hungrier than before. We needed each other, _this, _to feel connected with one another again. We didn't waste time with foreplay.

I rolled him on to his back and straddled him. He planted kisses down my jaw and neck while I tried to fumble into my night stand for a condom. He ripped the package open with his teeth and rolled it on, and I lowered myself down on to him.

We both sucked in air loudly as we rocked against each other. His hands dug into my hips as he seemed to be holding his breath. "Just…don't move…for a second."

I giggled and he glared at me, before lifting me up and pushing back into me. We stared at each other the whole time as he thrust into me, slowly and torturously, as we brought each other to our orgasms.

I didn't scream, scratch, or ask to be fucked harder once, because this was the farthest thing from fucking I had ever experienced. Edward was making slow deliberate moves, while keeping eye contact with me. Our lips rarely disconnected and our bodies never once did.

When we came, it wasn't a cry or a scream from either of us. It was a soft breath that escaped my lips in the form of his name, and the almost silent whisper "Bella" from him that even with his lips at my ear, I couldn't be positive he actually said it.

We lay in bed for hours after that, wrapped up completely in each other. We didn't talk much, just ran our hands over each other and or lay in each others arms. But finally, as the clock fell on eleven o'clock, I knew we both had to go.

He slipped his boxers and jeans back on, slipping on his sneakers as well. He pulled his plain white undershirt on, and I admired the way his muscles filled out the sleeves.

I fumbled with the hem of his shirt I was still wearing, buttoning only the two middle buttons. "I um, have something to ask you," I mumbled while looking at my feet.

He quirked an eyebrow at me as he adjusted his t-shirt. "And what would that be?"

I kept my gaze locked on my feet, suddenly feeling flustered. "Well…"

"Bella," he groaned, stressing the last bit of my name. He lifted my chin with his finger to catch my gaze. "Spit it out."

"Well Angela's wedding is coming up in like, two weeks. And I need a date. Well I guess I don't _need_ a date, but I really don't want to go to a wedding alone—"

"Bells," he chuckled, squatting to be eye level with me on my bed. "Are you asking me to be your date to Angela's wedding?"

I bit my lip. "Yes?"

He grinned crookedly. "I'd love to," and he leaned forward and kissed me. He didn't let us get carried away, just allowing his lips to graze over mine shortly, before pulling away and searching for his coat.

He picked it up when I realized I was still wearing his button down. "Wait, this is yours."

He smirked. "Keep it. Looks better on you," he added, winking.

I slipped on some fresh panties since Edward had grabbed the ones I had been wearing last night and stuffed them into his coat pocket. I had slapped his chest and told him what a pervert he was but he just shook his head and grinned at me. After I was sort of decent, I started to walk towards my bedroom door to walk him out.

And then reality hit me.

I slammed my back against the door and faced him. He looked surprised, halfway done putting his coat on and his scarf around his neck. "What?"

"What if Alice is out there?"

He raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"Well…she'll…I don't know. Ask questions."

"Bella, we're allowed to do whatever we want without consulting her."

"But she's your sister and my best friend."

He sighed heavily and bent down to kiss me. "Please," he muttered against my lips, "don't stress about Alice. She wants us to be happy. Are you happy, Bella?"

I was fucking blissed to the extreme. But instead of sounding like a love sick puppy, I nodded and kissed him.

"I'm happy too," he told me. He checked his watch. "But I do have to go. I have a meeting around two with the Chief and I need to shower and eat."

I pouted and he laughed, kissing me again. I opened my bedroom door, holding my breath, and exhaled happily when I didn't see Alice.

I did, however, see Rose sitting at the bar reading the paper. She glanced over at me, looked back at the paper, then back at Edward.

"Good morning," she said smugly.

"Morning," Edward offered brightly. He walked over the fridge and pulled out his Blackberry, dropping the cold phone into his pocket. He cupped my face gently, and leaned down to kiss me once last time on the lips. "I had a great time last night," he said quietly in my ear. "I'll call you tonight," he promised, kissing my cheek and turning to leave the apartment.

Once the door was locked behind him, I turned hesitantly to Rosalie. "So?" she asked.

I padded barefoot towards her, glad that Edward's shirt was long enough to cover my panties, not like it would matter. Both Rose and Alice had seen me in my birthday suit on many different occasions.

I sat down on the stool next to her, sighing. "Umm…so what?"

She rolled up her newspaper and smacked me over the back of the head with it. "You are the worst person ever at lying. How was he? Good as the first?"

I bit my lip. "Better."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Better, eh?"

"Yes, better."

"So does this mean that you two are a thing?"

"It means…" I paused, letting my gaze land on the fridge. "It means that everything is out in the open and we're just seeing how everything goes."

"Good! About fucking time, I might add. I thought neither of you would grow a pair and talk to each other."

I blushed, just as Alice exited her room with Jasper behind her. Our chatter immediately fell silent, watching Alice dressed in pajamas that I was sure she didn't actually sleep in. Jasper was dressed in a nice suit, probably what he had worn the night before on their date.

"Good morning, ladies," Jasper said, straightening his coat. His eyes lingered on me while we said our greetings, and his head cocked to the side slightly like he was lost in thought. His eyes drifted from my arms to my shoulders and down to the collar, before lifting his eyes to mine. "Isn't that Ed—" he stopped himself, shaking his head.

_Isn't that…Edward's shirt?_ He didn't have to finish to know the answer to that question; my blush and his sudden smirk gave everything about last night away.

He kissed Alice on the lips before headed out, flashing a panty dropping smile at Rose and I one last time. Alice whirled around the kitchen, obviously head over heels, and sighed.

"I love him!" she exclaimed.

Rosalie looked over the paper. "Isn't that a bit soon for the L word?"

Alice shrugged, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and opening the fridge to get some orange juice. "It doesn't matter. When it's right, it's right." She gazed over at me and frowned. "I thought you threw out all of Jake's shirts."

I stiffened, and Rosalie noticed. "I uh—" Okay, there was one of two things that could happen at that moment. I could tell her the truth, or I could lie. Decided against both, I simply just shrugged, and reached for a discarded piece of newspaper.

I wasn't sure why I didn't just tell her that Edward and I had spent the night together. Alice had been more than supportive in that area, as I had found out, but something still held me back. Maybe it was because I didn't want to get asked questions that I didn't have answers to yet, or maybe, just maybe, it was because I wanted our time together to stay private for just a little bit longer.

We sat in silence for a moment, before Alice put the OJ back and hesitated. "Hey Bells?"

"Yeah?" I replied absentmindedly.

"Why is your phone in the refrigerator?"

**_One week later…  
_ _**

"If you poke me again I will fucking cut you," Rosalie hissed through clenched teeth. Her bridesmaids dress was fitted to her body as a middle aged woman stuck the dress with pins in order to get it altered.

The woman looked up, slightly frightened. Rolling my eyes at Rose, I told the seamstress, "She's kidding. She has an off sense of humor."

Alice and I were sitting on couch with Angela, waiting our turn to get fitted. The bridal boutique provided us with champagne, so the four of us were currently drinking the afternoon away while we got stuck and told not to breathe.

Well, the three of us currently were drinking. Alice took away Rosalie's glass when she threatened to dump it over the chick's head.

We had been at this for what felt like hours, but in reality it was probably only half an hour at most. Today was an important day; not only were we getting all the fittings done with—but tonight was also Angela's bachelorette party.

So as maid of honor, I had to plan it. I asked Angela what she'd like to do, and she just mumbled something about a quiet night out, maybe dinner and a little dancing, but nothing _too _wild.

So naturally, I planned a crazy night out.

Angela had no idea what we were planning on, which made it all the more fun. We had mentioned that the four of us would just relax all day and just have a fun dinner and it we felt like it we could go dancing.

But currently, I couldn't stop fidgeting. I couldn't stop because I couldn't stop my mind from replaying images from last week. And naturally, I hadn't seen Edward since then.

He had called though; he called me almost every night that he wasn't working, the two of us talking like teenagers, neither of us wanting to be the first person to hang up.

We talked about everything, from his favorite book to how he didn't want to be a doctor for the longest time. Apparently he had resented the idea because of his father, until he took a Biology class his freshmen year in college.

He told me his favorite color, his favorite food, and his favorite song. He painted a mental picture for me of him in New York, sitting on the subway rocking out to his iPod.

I was addicted and I couldn't get enough.

After we had each taken our turns getting prodded and stabbed, Angela accompanied Alice, Rosalie, and I back to our apartment to get ready for the party. Several of Angela's other close girl friends were going to meet us there for the nights festivities.

Alice had of course picked my outfit out for me; a black one strap mini dress with a pair of bright red bootie heels that I swore were over five inches tall. Rosalie waltzed into my room, already dressed and ready to go, with two glasses of champagne in her hands.

"Almost ready?" she inquired, handing me a glass and perching herself on the edge of my bed. She looked stunning, like always, in a charcoal strapless dress with a pair of strappy heels and lose ringlets in her blonde hair.

"Mhm," I hummed, taking a long drink. I slipped on the red devil shoes and assessed myself in the mirror. "I clean up well," I joked.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me. "Hopefully you'll see Edward tonight," she trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I scowled at her, smoothing out my dress again over my curves. As if on cue, my phone beeped with a text message from him.

_Be safe tonight. Call me if you get tired of hanging out with vaginas. ;) –E_

I giggled as I followed Rosalie out into the living room where all the other girls were waiting. I typed a quick reply to him before I shoved my phone into my clutch, vowing not to check it again for at least an hour.

Angela of course was decked out in a super sexy dress with a sash that read "Bride-to-Be" and a crown on top her head. She had already had quite a few glasses of champagne and was feeling good to go out to celebrate as she so subtly put it, her "last night ever".

Our night began at _Pulse_, which was surprisingly Angela's favorite club (Alice's favorite too). We had reserved a private VIP section that included a bottle service and a view that overlooked the entire club.

Rosalie and I took it upon ourselves to do a power hour, since everyone else had somehow gotten drunk within the first minutes of arriving. After tequila was pumping through our veins, we settled on drinking our margaritas and one of the couches on the balcony and watched Alice and Angela dance.

"So," Rosalie started, slowly smiling slightly. I glanced at her, knowing she wanted me to ask about something, or that she wanted to tell about something. I pushed her shoulder to and told her to spill and she went for it. "Emmett and I had sex."

"What?"

She laughed, licking salt off the rim of her glass and taking a sip. "We had sex a few days ago. I went over to the guys' place when Jasper was at our house and Edward was at work to watch a game and some things led to another…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Oh my God! How was it?"

She grinned sheepishly. "I'll just say this, Bella. Remember what you said about Edward? Well let's just say that it must be the water those Cullen men are drinking."

My jaw dropped slightly, while Rose just put her drink to her lips and shrugged nonchalantly, like she wasn't reimagining the best fucking of her life at that moment.

I pulled my phone out of my clutch, proud of myself that I hadn't pulled it out earlier in the night, and saw I had two new text messages.

_-Jasper, Emmett, and I are going out tonight. Text me when you girls are leaving and we'll meet up. –E_

_-Come back to our place to drink. –E_

I slid the phone over to Rosalie to show her the text message, generating a huge grin from her direction. She nodded enthusiastically, picking up her purse and coat from the couch and motioning me to follow her in search of Alice.

When we found her, she and Angela were posted up at the bar with guys flocking around them buying them shots. Alice squealed as she saw us, informing all of her new friends (as she referred to them) that they needed to get us drinks.

After taking one shot with the random guys, we got Alice off the barstool and left Angela with her other girlfriends to finish out the rest of her night and Bachelorette party.

"It is _so coooooldddd," _Alice whined, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "Where are those damn cabbers?"

Rose giggled, swaying slightly at the edge of the street to hail a cab. "They're busy driving home drunk asses like us."

I rolled my eyes. It was only one in the morning. It wasn't _that _late.

We finally found a taxi and relished in the warmth of the cab. We didn't talk much on the way to the guys' apartment. I'm pretty sure Alice was trying not to throw up, meanwhile Rose and I were guessing our odds of getting laid tonight.

I wanted to say our odds were pretty good. And obviously Rose was thinking the same thing because when our eyes met, we both smiled sheepishly and laughed.

We walked to their apartment without much conversation between the three of us. As we stopped in front of their door, we heard the bass of their stereo bumping loudly into the night and into the wee hours of the morning.

Rose pounded on the door with her fist. Emmett opened the door a moment later, his face lighting up at the sight of Rosalie. "Hey girls!" He stepped aside to allow us in. "Come on in, the party's just getting started!"

I laughed at their idea of a party. Although there was enough empty beer cans to get a small campus drunk, there was only Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and three other guys at the apartment.

Edward and Jasper were playing beer pong against two guys I didn't recognize. The other guy was in the kitchen raiding their fridge for something, while Emmett came up behind Rose and slide her coat off her shoulders. I shot her a look and she grinned.

_How's it feel now, bitch._

Emmett took our coats as well, resting them across their vacant dining room table. He offered the three of us cold beers from their fridge and then walked back over to where the guys were playing beer pong.

I walked behind Emmett to stand next to Edward. He glanced over at me quickly, bringing his beer up to his lips to drink. He sipped and then coughed, causing himself to choke slightly. I smirked at him.

"Hi," I cooed.

"H-he-hey." His coughing fit started to subside as he let his eyes roam over my body. I blushed, watching where his gaze was lingering. "Wow," he murmured, still coughing slightly.

He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, allowing me to wind my arms around his neck. He squeezed me tightly and lifted me off the ground slightly while whispering, "You are so sexy," into my ear.

I blushed more and swatted him away. He grinned crookedly, returning back to Jasper to finish their beer pong game.

I didn't catch the other three dudes names, however they were nice and obviously liked us. They lost all interest in whatever they were doing and swarmed us.

Edward just watched from over the top of his beer can, amusement playing across his features. I glared at him, wanting him to rescue me from the uncomfortable situation. He just grinned wider.

I found myself sitting on the leather couch to get away and to get out of the devil death trap heels. Edward sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leaning me into his body.

I smiled into his shirt, inhaling his musky scent.

The random guys ended up leaving, leaving the six of us to our own devices. I checked Edward's watch; it was nearly three in the morning. We all sat around awkwardly because we all knew what we were about to go do. It was just a matter of who was going to say it first.

Alice kicked off her shoes, still extremely drunk. "Well, goodnight lovers."

We watched her and Jasper retreat into his room when Edward squeezed my shoulders, as if that was my cue that he wanted to go to bed. I stood up, hearing Edward follow suit. I waved sheepishly at Rosalie and Emmett, while they both smiled and winked at us.

So embarrassing.

Edward lightly took my hand and led me into his dimly lit bedroom. He shut the door behind us and locked it, leaning against the wood and staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing," he smiled. He walked towards me, cornering me at the bed, resting his hands on my waist and lowering his head to mine. I bit my lip anxiously in anticipation for this.

His lips brushed against mine slowly and softly, while his hands pulled me flesh against his body. He hummed in satisfaction into my mouth. As his tongue slipped into my mouth, I could taste the beer that he had been drinking.

Our kiss grew more frenzied and suddenly his hands were roaming to the back of my dress to the zipper, finding their way down to relieve my skin of its confines. The dress slipped off of my body, pooling at my shoes.

His lips found my jaw line as he made quick work of my bra and panties. He helped me kick everything off. I helped him slip out of his t-shirt and unbuckled his belt of his jeans, bringing them down his legs and bringing his boxers down with them.

I sat on the edge of his bed to take off my heels when he pushed me back on the bed and shook his head. I raised an eyebrow, feeling his erect dick already pressing into my inner thigh.

"Keep the heels on, Swan."

He bent down and kissed me again, effectively shutting me up before I could speak. He hitched a leg over his shoulder and placed a kiss into my ankle where the heel ended.

I had a feeling I'd like heels much more from now on.

* * *

So it's been like 2 years? Don't hate. I got an opportunity to live abroad and I took it. I'm not sure if I'll have time to finish Nine months, but Sinful I want to finish because there's only like 6 more chapters I think.

But don't be fooled, the climax of this story (no pun intended) has not happened yet. Stay tuned!


	13. Chapter 13

AN: I'm so happy you guys enjoyed the chapter. I _am _sorry I didn't post a quick review of the plot to catch you guys up to date! There were some comments that were a little uncalled for, but regardless, I apologize for not posting one and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter 13

**BPOV**

I would never recommend anyone to ever have a role in a wedding. Although I loved Angela dearly, I was not excited about my duties as her maid of honor.

Standing in my dress, already done up with my make-up and heels, I was dreading what was coming in a few hours. I was standing in Angela's bathroom, where she had forced the entire bridal party to come to her apartment to get ready with her.

I wasn't even sure what I was going to say at my speech at the reception. I had been procrastinating hard core and didn't want to start thinking about it. I was hoping that after a few glasses of champagne, I'd come up with something witty and charming, and everyone would laugh and clap.

But that probably wasn't going to happen.

I could hear Angela freaking about something in her and Ben's living room, probably on the phone shouting at some poor innocent soul, like her mom.

Alice wandered into the bathroom, peering around the cracked door and raising her eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I smoothed a wrinkle out of my dress and fixed a curl in my hair.

She stepped through the door frame and stood next to me. Even in her heels, Alice could barely clear my chin. "You know," she began, straightening the bow at the back of my dress. "Usually it's only supposed to be the bride that gets nervous on the wedding day…not the maid of honor."

"Nervous? Why would I be nervous?" I asked, still fidgeting with my hair and dress.

She stopped, meeting my gaze in the mirror. "You tell me."

I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to brush Alice off. She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, sighing like a five year old that was giving in to their mother. "Fine. Has Edward texted you? Jasper said they were going to be there in time but I don't believe him."

I shook my head. I hadn't spoken to Edward since a short phone call the previous night, reminding him that he had to go to the wedding with me in the first place.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Well it's not Jasper I worry about," she murmured, "it's Edward and Emmett." She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and twisted a lock of her hair. "Which is also why I said the ceremony started an hour before it actually did, but still."

I laughed and we left the bathroom because I couldn't look at my reflection any longer. Angela was sitting on her couch, drinking a glass of champagne, wearing a white silk robe with "Bride" in rhinestones across the back of her shoulders. She was obviously upset about something, the way her face was contorted as she read her text messages.

Rosalie nudged her with the heel of her shoe. "If you're not careful your face will get stuck like that. And something tells me you don't want your face to look like that today."

Angela laughed, setting the phone down and holding her hands up in defeat. "I surrender."

I sat down next to Rose, checking my phone.

_One new text._

My heartbeat quickened, knowing who it would likely be from.

_Can't wait to see you today. –E_

Even though he had seen me just three days prior? I grinned and slipped the phone back into my clutch.

We helped Angela into her wedding dress, a stunning A-line gown with lace and taffeta. Something I don't think I'd ever wear, but it looked absolutely stunning on her. Along with the veil that was laced in a similar pattern and fell past her shoulders towards the train of her dress, she was a knock out.

"Ben will freak," Lauren piped, fluffing out Angela's train once again.

Angela bit her lip, obviously extremely nervous as we were getting ready to leave. "You think?"

We all nodded in union, flooding her with positive reinforcement. After all, it was her day. We were her minions until after she said her vows to Ben.

A limo was waiting for us at her apartment to take us to the venue for the ceremony. We all hustled into the cabin, feeling completely cramped with all the bridesmaids and Angela's poof of a dress.

I noticed her staring out the window absently and gently reached over and squeezed her hand. "Nervous?"

She laughed, squeezing my hand in return. "Today's the beginning of the rest of my life. Hell yes I'm nervous."

I grinned at her honesty as Rosalie shoved a flask towards us. When I shot her a disapproving look, she shrugged and mumbled, "It'll help with the nerves."

We pulled up to the chapel and were ushered inside to help Angela make last minute adjustments to her gown and hair. When we looked in the mirror, all of the bridesmaids and the bride, we were taken back.

"We look grown up," Alice piped, smoothing her dress out.

Rosalie snorted. "You'll never look grown up."

Alice pretended to choke her as we take out the door to the isle of the chapel. We could hear the soft music playing as we were ushered one at a time down the aisle with Ben's groomsmen.

Angela and her father stood behind me, Mike, Ben's best friend and best man stood beside me. He was a extremely attractive guy, with sandy blonde hair and boyish good looks. We had met several times before, and every time he tried to hit on me.

"You look amazing Bella," he raved, offing his arm to me. I rolled my eyes but still thanked him. "Maybe we could get together during the reception? Save me a dance or something?"

"Maybe Mike," I sighed, waiting for Jessica to get halfway down the aisle before starting to move.

"Maybe? That's a copout."

"I brought a date."

"So did I," he retorted, like it was no big thing.

I looked over at him and punched him. "Start walking."

He obliged, walking in stride with me as we made our way down the aisle together. I spotted Edward, Emmett, and Jasper in the fourth row on the bride's side, all three of them smiling at me. Edward winked, making me blush and want to burry my head in my bouquet.

As I settled in my spot next to the priest, "A river flows in you" by Yiruma began playing delicately in the background. Angela and her father appeared, walking slowly down the aisle. Ben's reaction was priceless. His jaw parted and he sucked in a very unsteady breath as he stared at his future wife.

I heard Mike lean over to him and remind him to breathe.

My eyes caught Edward's. He was staring at me intently, with his head slightly turned to the right as if he had a question bubbling in his mind.

The ceremony continued, with the exchanging of their own vowes with brought even Rosalie to have a few tears in her eyes. And after a quick ten or fifteen minutes, the priest had pronounced them husband and wife, and given Ben permission to kiss his bride.

They walked down the aisle hand in hand, grinning and waving to people as the music played lightly again. Mike met me in the center with his arm as we exited the main chapel.

When we all were in the back room where we had finished getting ready, Angela and Ben popped a champagne bottle and we all passed it around, congratulating them. We waiting for the guests to leave and go to the reception area for cocktail hour as we took their wedding pictures.

I hadn't forgotten that I had no clue what I was going to say during my maid of honor speech.

When we arrived at the reception, the bridal party was allowed to enter the reception area with the rests of the guests. I met up with Edward, finally, able to be close enough to him to touch.

"Hey you," he cooed, wrapping his arms around me. "You look gorgeous." He looked at me with a glint in his eyes that gave me goose bumps and caused me to shiver.

I swatted him, enjoying the way his eyes were raking over my body.

Sooner than I was ready, Angela and Ben strolled into the reception, the Mr. and Mrs. Cheney. They floated from person to person, listening to people congratulate them and whatnot, until finally, it was time for our speeches.

Mike rose from his seat and clanked his fork against his champagne glass. It rang loudly in the hall, capturing everyone's attentions. "Good evening," he began, his voice thick and smooth. "What can I possibly say about Ben and Angela? Angela is an angel. Ben is…well, Ben is Ben."

Mike's best man speech was everything that it was supposed to be—it embarrassed the hell out of Ben, it was funny, charming, sincere—everything that mine wasn't going to be. As he wrapped it up, he had the entire room laughing and crying, as he shared stories from his and Ben's childhood.

I knew I could pull out some story of Angela's exes from college, but I was frantically trying to think of something else that wasn't so cliché.

I ran out of time.

"Now for the lovely maid of honor, Bella Swan," Mike's voice rang out over the speakers. He handed me the microphone, making sure his fingers brushed against mine in the process.

I slowly stood from sweetheart table, taking the microphone from him hesitantly. I glanced across the room for Edward, my eyes meeting his briefly. He grinned crookedly and nodded slightly to urge me to begin.

"Hello," I spoke, cringing as the microphone adjusted to my voice and squeaked. I still had no idea what I was going to say but I had to say something. _Say something. _"Hello everyone," I began again, still feeling lost and feeling a my shoulder stiffening in response to stress.

Edward smiled at me, probably hoping to ease my tension and fear, and as I stared into the green eyes across the room, I started to speak.

"We can never predict where life takes us," I began, still staring at Edward. He seemed to have realized he was my focus point, what was making me able to say this, so he kept my gaze without blinking. "We can plan our lives out so we know every turn, every decision, every possible direction we could possibly take, but in reality, our lives will never turn out how we imagine them. Small simple moments can change everything."

I took a deep breath and continued, "It's those small simple moments that we least expect, that the most wonderful things happen." I finally broke Edward's gaze to look at the bride and groom. "For Angela and Ben, it was the completely random afternoon when Angela ran her car into the back of his during rush hour traffic. Fate had a cruel sense of humor and quite a price tag that day." The room chuckled and Edward smiled at my attempt at humor.

"Love has no boundaries. I have known Angela since college and Ben for as long as they've been together, and I have _never _seen her not only smile, but glow, like she is right now, and like she has been for the past three years. Ben, you're obviously doing something right." Ben laughed quietly and placed his arm around Angela's shoulders.

I reached for my glass off the table and held it ready to rise. "Ben, Angela, here's to knowing that some of the most wonderful nights of your lives haven't happened yet." I turned slightly away from them and raised my glass to the dozens of guests staring at me. "Here's to Mr. and Mrs. Cheney. Cheers!"

An echo of "Cheers" and "Congratulations!" rang throughout the dining hall. I looked down at Angela, with tears in her eyes, as she mouthed, "I love you."

I smiled, tears in my own eyes, and mouthed back "Love you too" to her. Music filled the air as the band began to start up, encouraging couples to hit the dance floor.

I sunk back into my seat, hunching over and sighing in relief as my humiliation was over. I felt movement behind me and a large warm familiar hand on my arm. I glanced over, meeting green eyes and instantly smiling.

"You did great," he assured me. "May I have this dance?" he asked as he bent at the waist and extended his hand out towards me.

I bit my lip and glanced at him nervously. "I'm really not a good dancer."

He shook his head at me and took my hand anyway, pulling me out of my seat. "It doesn't matter." He led us over to the dance floor, setting us in the center of graceful people swirling and twirling around us. He turned to me and tossed me his crooked smile. "It's all in the leading."

"What if I step on your feet?"

He rolled his eyes. "You won't."

"There's a ninety-nine percent chance that I will."

He wrapped his right arm tightly around my waist while bring his left hand to clasp with mine. "Well then we'll just have to bask in that one percent chance that you won't, now won't we?"

I nodded, and turned to look down at our feet. "No, look at me," Edward scolded. I met his gaze hesitantly, his emerald eyes melting me to a pool of mush on the spot. My heart was already on over drive from his touch and he wanted to add his stare to it to? I was about to have a heart attack.

I barely noticed we had started moving.

He held me closer as we danced and sighed into my hair. "What are you afraid of?"

I nearly pulled away from him to see what his angle was, but when he didn't say anything, I guessed he meant literally, not _him,_ so I answered honestly. "Time."

He chuckled. "That seems a little silly," he whispered to my ear, his hand on my lower back slipping a fraction lower.

"Well, not time literally," I amended. "More like I'm afraid of not having enough time to do everything I want to do."

"Like what?" he asked, grinning.

"I don't know," I rolled my eyes. "I'd like to travel the world, write a book or two, find myself, you know? Find out who other people are and understand them, too. You know, what most people want to do."

He shook his head, smiling, and pulled me closer against him. "Bella, please believe me when I say you are the farthest thing from most people."

"I'm really not—"

"You are," he said sternly. He stopped leading us and we paused on the outskirts of the dance floor staring at each other. "You're so much more than you give yourself credit for," he said softly.

"_You _give me too much credit," I told him.

He laughed nervously and looked at my lips. I licked them almost involuntarily, not really noticing the rest of the guests that were whirling around us like we weren't there. "I think," he said, removing his right hand from mine and resting it on my hip, closing the remaining distance between us, "that you're amazing."

I bit my lower lip and blushed, looking away from his perfect face to the flower girl twirling herself around a few feet away. Edward reached up and ran his thumb across my cheek, sending heat swarming through my skin. "Bella, I…"

_Kiss me. Kiss me. Oh God, kiss me._

I knew he was trying to tell me something, but all I could focus on was the fact that he was leaning in towards my mouth, and his grip on me was becoming tighter.

He looked a little hesitant, so I helped him out a smidge. I leaned closer to him, placing my palms on his chest, and he went in the rest of the way for the kill.

His lips caught mine in the sweetest, slowest, but most passionate kiss we've ever experienced together (ever in general for me). We had experienced slow before. We had done the rough thing, the balls to the walls, throw you up against the door type of passionate kissing. But this…this was what cheesy romance novels described when they would say things like, "_His kiss melted me completely"_.

His mouth was so soft, like silk that just completely wrapped around you in the most delicious way.

A loud throat cleared from behind us. An elderly woman frowned at us, obviously not amused, and shook her head. I blushed deeply but Edward just laughed lightly into my ear, tightening his grip on me.

He spun me around, lifting my feet completely off the ground to maneuver away from the old lady who didn't want us making out in front of her. "Still worried about dancing?" he asked.

I laughed at his antics to make me not think about the dancing. I decided to not say anything about the fact that as soon as he had grabbed my hand, I hadn't thought about what my feet were doing, nor did I care. "Edward," I breathed into his chest, smiling like a fucking teenager. "What are you doing to me?"

He stopped dancing, shrugged and smiled. "Same thing you're doing to me," he whispered into my hair, holding me almost as closely as he was just a few minutes ago.

I stared up at him in wonder. He was alive for a moment, and it was the strangest smile I had ever seen; it held a secret amusement, heartbreak, and an infinite bitterness.

I wasn't quite prepared to come face to face with that bitterness just yet—but like they say, fate has a cruel sense of humor.

When we left Angela's wedding that night, hand in hand as he led me to his car through the flurries, I was positive of one thing.

I was falling just as hard as the snow was.

* * *

AN: Look out for the next chapter! Should be soon :)


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I love your responses! It makes me so happy that you guys are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it! And after reading some of your comments, a lot of you are very perceptive and guessed correctly…but all will be revealed. Be patient, young grasshoppers.

This is a short chapter, however it's out the next day after the previous chapter...sooooo whatever. I didn't want to deprive you guys!

I own nada.

Chapter 14

**BPOV**

The Expected is what we live for. The unexpected is what changes our lives.

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_In any new relationship there are certain questions that must be answered. Some can be deal breakers, some can seal the deal. One of the questions I hate to ask because I dread the answer? "Any crazy ex-girlfriends?"_

_Ah, yes, the crazy ex's. _

_If a guy admits to having a batty old fling, it usually sends me out the door. I don't want some chick plotting to jump me because I met up with her ex for drinks. No sex is worth that to me._

_But there's a question that most women usually are scared to ask themselves: Am _I_ the crazy ex?_

_Over time, I've found some for sure ways that will make sure you're not the erratic chick he'll be warning someone about._

_Before the break up there are about four things to keep in mind not to do. First, don't tell him you love him within the first week. Us women live by our emotions, yes, and when we feel it, we feel it, but this will creep the dude out. Second, don't plan your future with him. Men come with the invisible label of "Commitment phobic" so don't test them. Third, don't cling to him; they need their air and space, so give them a little breathing room. And fourthly, don't ask for him not to break up with you when they're breaking up with you. _

_After the break up, forget him. Delete his number from your phone so you won't be tempted to call or text him. Don't overly apologize. If you feel the need to apologize, stick along the lines of, "I'm sorry this didn't work out," and leave it at that. A biggie: don't get jealous. Bashing the new chick he's with will not help out your situation. And the most important yet? Don't pine after him; telling him how much you miss him will only drive him farther away. We all experience bad break ups and some of us still love our ex's deeply, but the truth of the matter is that life must move on. And so must you._

_If we all embrace the break up as a learning life experience, we can all realize the truth about happiness. Happiness is not a destination; it's an emotion. It is temporary—it will come and go. If more people thought of it like this then they would find happiness more often._

_Is happiness lurking around your door?_

—_Bella Swan,  
__**Sinful in Seattle**_

* * *

After the wedding, I had been floating around on cloud nine.

I was one of those girls that you silently hated when they got a new love interest or boyfriend. I was bubbly, ditzy, completely ga-ga, and totally not worth talking to because I had a permanent smile plastered to my face.

Thankfully, Alice and Rosalie were in somewhat similar states and super busy with their own lives and Angela was on her honeymoon for anyone to call me out on my shit.

Edward had actually kept in touch better, although he had been working crazy hours for the past week, that had entailed him calling me at four in the morning between his shifts.

"Hello?" I groaned into the phone.

"Hey," Edward sounded breathless, like the cold air had taken it away momentarily. "Are you sleeping?"

I squinted at my alarm clock. The green neon letters were glowing 4:34 AM. "Not anymore," I huffed, smashing my face into my pillow.

He laughed loudly. I heard him shut a car door and start the engine for his car. "You asked me to call you on my way home. You shouldn't have answered."

"You should know I don't mean literally…I meant like a text or something," I mumbled.

I could hear his car accelerating as he started making his way back to his apartment. I snuggled back down under my covers and slipped the phone between my pillow and my ear. "Bells," he began. I closed my eyes and smiled at the nickname he had started using. "Could I come over?"

"Hmm?"

He repeated, "Could I come over?"

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I murmured, feeling myself slip back into sleep.

"I…I had a rough night. And I'm dying to see you."

I smiled. "You don't have to ask. Come over."

"Good, I'm already on the way." I figured he had already planned on coming over, regardless of what my answer had been. "I'll call you back when I'm there."

It seemed like he had just hung up when my phone was lighting up again and ringing with his picture on the screen. I didn't even answer it; I just crawled out of my bed and slowly made my way out of my bedroom and into the living room. I peeked through the peep hole to see Edward, looking at his phone.

I unlocked the door and opened it, leaning against it. "Hi."

He grinned, mimicking my pose, leaning against the door frame. "Hi," he repeated, looking down at my thin camisole and short boxers. I slid out of the way for him to come in, locking the door behind him.

He didn't say anything else as he followed me back to my room. I know I should have taken a moment to appreciate that Edward had come to my apartment in the middle of the night just to see me, and that he looked utterly gorgeous in jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt as his coat made its way to my floor.

But I didn't appreciate anything—I closed the bedroom door after him and crawled back into my bed, pulling my covers up to my shoulders.

He laughed softly at my, sitting down on the other side of the bed next to me. "Bella," he called.

"Hmm."

He chuckled again, kicking off his shoes and his jeans, but keeping on his boxers and shirt. He lifted up the duvet on his side and slipped into my bed next to me. His arms wound around me, pulling me next to him and I gladly obliged, wanting any type of heat source I could get.

His fingers lazily traced the length of my spine as I wound my leg over his hip and between his legs. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he whispered into my hair.

I had practically fallen asleep at this point, but I remember a distinct kiss into my hair and falling asleep with a smile on my face.

When my alarm clock went off in the morning and there was another body in my bed, I was slightly confused. I blinked, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes, before focusing on a mess of bronze hair sprawled across the pillow.

_Edward. _He came over last night. Did we have sex? No…he came over just to sleep?

My heart began to beat faster. When I was with Jake, he would never come over with only intentions to sleep for the night. He always wanted sex. But Edward was a man, so he probably was hoping for sex last night, right?

"Stop staring at me, Bella," he growled at me.

I blinked again, before blushing. "Sorry."

"Hmm," he hummed, pulling me on top of him. "Thanks for letting me come over last night. Or this morning, technically."

"Oh, not a problem. Sorry I wasn't more willing to…you know."

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Willing to what?"

"You know…you call late at night, asking to come over after a long day at work…" I trailed off, drawing small circles on his chest through his shirt.

He laughed. "Oh Bells, I didn't come over to have sex, although it definitely crossed my mind on the way over. I just needed to see you."

"Why?"

"I…I don't know." We stared at each other for a moment, just letting the words we exchanged pass between us as we thought about them. I didn't want to think anymore—instead, I wanted to kiss this man who I was practically straddling in my bed.

So I leaned down and kissed him, situating myself on top of him so I was straddling him fully with my knees at either side of his hips. He responded immediately, his hands wrapping around my hips and pushing me closer to his body than before.

The kiss grew more passionate the more we continued. I could feel a very noticeable erection from underneath his boxers and between my legs. I ground my hips into his, earning a moan from both of us.

Suddenly he flipped me over, winding his hands around my legs and pushing his hips into mine. His hands found their way to my thin camisole and slid the straps down my arms and pulled the top down to my midriff, exposing my breasts.

His lips latched at my nipples while his fingers made quick work of the other. Nipping, twisting, and pulling, I moaned and latched my legs to his waist trying to get more friction from him. My hands pulled at his t-shirt, tearing it off of his chest and shoulders to expose his taught skin.

Our passion was frantic—like we couldn't get enough of each other and never would. He pulled the boxers off of my body along with my panties without hesitation and kissed me again, harder this time than before.

I reached into his boxers, freeing him, not even bothering to try and pull them off of him. He broke the kiss only to reach into my nightstand and grab a condom, where he must have remembered their location from a few weeks ago.

He rolled the condom over his erection and without saying a word or any kind of evaluation whether I was ready thrust himself fully into me.

It was a wonderful mix of pleasure and pain. He moved quickly, both of us working towards our own releases. After a few minutes of his grunting and my muffled moans and screams, he put his mouth back on my nipple trying to urge me to release.

"I'm going to…" he mumbled against my skin. "Please Bella."

He was asking me to go with him. I closed my eyes as he pinched my clit, feeling a wave of pleasure and warmth wash over me, sending my back into an arch and my nails into his back. "Yes!"

"Fuck," he groaned, thrusting once more and pausing as he rode out the high of his own orgasm. Afterwards, he rested his head on my shoulder, still inside of me, both of us panting desperately.

And then I giggled.

He looked at me, his eyebrows raised in confusion. I stifled another giggle as he pulled himself off of me and slipped himself back into his boxers. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," but another giggle gave me away.

He looked mischievous for a moment, before he tackled me and tickling me. I wailed for him to stop but I could barely form words that sounded coherent.

After our tickle war, we lay on the bed together, both panting and giggling. My top was still down at my stomach but for some reason I didn't feel self conscious.

I didn't want the feeling to end.

But naturally, it had to.

"Alice said something yesterday that we may do a movie night tonight?" Edward asked, slipping his jeans on.

I briefly recalled hearing Alice mention something about that yesterday, and nodded at him. "Yes!"

He bent at the waist to kiss me again. When he pulled away he smiled sweetly and said, "So I'll see you tonight?"

I nodded, smiling like an idiot as he let himself out of my room. I fell back into my cushions and decided to call in today and catch a few extra hours of sleep.

* * *

Later that night, Alice had already picked out my outfit for the movie night with the guys. I argued that I didn't need a special outfit to watch a fucking movie but she just shoved it into my arms and told me to stop complaining.

At least it was just jeans and a cute top. When we left our apartment to head to the boys' apartment, Alice was armed with cookies she had baked, Rosalie was armed with the movies, and I was armed with a bottle of wine.

I wanted to go ahead and start drinking it, but Alice shot me a disapproving look.

When we were let into their apartment, the food they had ordered had already arrived and was set out on their kitchen table like a buffet with six plates.

Emmett took the cookies and the wine from us, telling Rosalie to just go pick a movie from their collection and to leave the romance "shit" to girls night.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me back into a warm body. "Hey you," Edward murmured into my ear. I shivered and smiled up at him. He let me go, gesturing towards the plates on their table. "Ladies first."

Emmett had put their own movie on their huge flat screen by the time we took our seats on the couches. Alice bunkered down into the oversized arm chair closest to the television, while Rosalie settled on the couch, leaving me to sit on the love seat.

As Edward sat next to me with his own plate of food, I suddenly realized how high school we looked. We were all acting like we were eighteen. But I was okay with it.

After we had eaten, Edward pulled a blanket off the back of the loveseat and draped it over us. He leaned back against the couch, a questioning smile upon his face as he slowly reached for my hand underneath the blanket. His warm fingers found mine, wrapping around my hand. I returned his smile tentatively, knowing that _this_ was what I'd been hoping for.

He held my hand throughout the night. His thumb would trace innocent circles against my palm, driving me crazy silently. It tickled like hell, but I was damned if he stopped.

Half way through the movie, there was a loud knock against the front door. Jasper hadn't really come up for air since the start of the movie with Alice, and Emmett just looked at Edward and muttered, "All you, little bro."

Edward groaned softly, releasing my hand as he pulled the blanket away from his body. He trudged out of view to the front door, where I heard him fumble with the lock before pulling it open.

I expected to hear a conversation as soon as I heard the door open, but I didn't. In fact, I didn't hear _anything_. I couldn't hear any conversation, any footsteps. Apparently Emmett couldn't either, because he turned the volume down slightly to the movie.

As he did, I finally heard something; a female voice.

"Why are you so stubborn?" the girl asked, her voice rising.

"Shh," Edward's voice came, demanding and dominant. "Not now. You shouldn't be here. You should have called."

"I tried. If you happened to turn your phone on once and while you would have noticed that," the woman responded.

"My phone is never off. And just because I don't answer doesn't mean you couldn't have gotten into contact with me. There are things called voicemail and text," Edward barked again.

I leaned casually on the arm rest of the couch so I could make out more of the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Emmett was mimicking my actions.

"I said I'd call if I wanted to talk to you—" Edward started.

The woman cut him off. "Like I haven't heard that before. You said you wanted a grand gesture, Edward. So here I am, twenty-eight hundred miles later."

Emmett suddenly turned the volume of the television up much higher than it was before.

Rosalie and I exchanged a glance with each other, knowing that the two brothers obviously were up to something. She nudged Emmett and whispered something into his ear, but he kept his eyes firmly on the television, brow furrowed and jaw set, as he shook his head at her. She glanced back at me, shrugging.

"Edward," the girl sighed loudly.

"Don't. Don't bother. You really should go home."

"Fuck that. I'm not leaving. Are there people in there?"

"I have company. More the reason for you to leave."

I heard the sound of heels clicking against his floors and his deep voice growl, "Don't go in there. We'll talk tomorrow—"

But he had no avail. The sound of heels grew louder as the woman approached, and I could hear Edward hissing underneath his breath at her in swear words. Finally, a figure came into view.

I suddenly wished that we had left some lights on. I saw two figures, one obviously small than the other. I heard a shift on the couch next to me as Rose and Emmett turned to look at who was entering.

I could see the light from the television illuminating Edward's features. His face was stone solid—cold even. He had a murderous glare in his eye as he stared at this woman next to him in the door way.

And this woman, well, she was gorgeous. Even without light, I could tell that.

Alice reached up from the love seat and turned on the table lamp, squinting at the girl and Edward. Suddenly, more was clear about the chick.

She had long strawberry blonde hair that hung in loose waves. She was slim, probably only a size two or fucking zero, and her heels were something I would have borrowed from Rosalie's closet.

She was a fucking knock out.

"Who's your friend, Edward?" Alice questioned, probably confused about why the atmosphere in the room had shifted as much as it did.

Edward stepped forward, past the beautiful woman, "She's no—"

But she didn't have any of that—she pushed him aside and stepped closer to us, the small table lamp illuminating her features even farther. Edward's hand were in his hair, tugging and pulling like he was anxious about something, and he collapsed with a huff into a dining room chair, with his head between his hands.

She smiled at us, flashing us a load of pearly whites any dentist would be proud of. "Hi, I'm Tanya—Edward's fiancé."

* * *

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dr. C's skeletons breaking free from the closet.

Yeah, I'm cruel. Update will be soon :)


	15. Chapter 15

**It's a short chapter. Straight forward, to the point. Next chapter will be longer, as it'll provide a lot more explanation for a lot of things. :) **

**As always, I own nothing. **

* * *

"_We've taken the world apart. Now we have no idea what to do with the pieces."_

Everything that happened next was a blur and in a haze. Several things happened at once while it seemed like nothing was happening at all.

It was like a drawn out pause that wouldn't end. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. For a moment, we all just sat in silence, staring at Tanya—when what was really a moment felt like an hour.

Edward finally spoke, "Ex."

I blinked rapidly, not trying to blink back tears, but because my eyes were the only part of my body I could voluntarily move.

Fiancé…that…complicates things a bit.

Alice blinked a few more times than necessary at Edward. "Come again?"

Tanya thrust her freshly manicured claws at Alice. "Tanya. Edwards—"

"Tanya," Edward warned, his voice dangerously low, in a tone I had never heard from him. It was menacing, the way he growled out her name as a silent threat that she was going too far. His jaw was clenched tightly and his fists were clenched also at his sides with his nails most likely digging into his palms painfully.

"Alice," Alice informed her, slowly, still searching Edwards face the answers to her silent question.

"Ah, you're Edward's sister! I've heard so much about you," she crooned, her tone as if they were already best of friends.

Alice tossed her an apprehensive stare. "Funny, I can't say the same."

Tanya wasn't fazed. "You make friends fast, Edward," she noted, sending us a fake sweet smile.

Edward unclenched his hands from his sides and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and his index finger in frustration. "Tanya," he said again, his voice not as quiet as menacing.

"Yes dear?"

I cringed and didn't hide it whatsoever. "Can I speak to you in the bedroom for a moment? Please?" he croaked out.

"Of course!"

Edward grabbed her wrists harshly and dragged her towards his bedroom door, slamming it shut behind them. We could hear him raise his voice but couldn't make out what he was saying. My heart began to pound erratically in my chest and a large lump formed in my throat.

_Fuck this._

Rosalie sat down next to me, taking my hand but not meeting my eyes. I didn't have to meet her eyes to know what was going on in her mind. Suddenly, Alice, Rose, and I turned to the remaining two men in the room.

Emmett coughed and looked at the remote while Jasper turned to look at his phone.

"Jasper." Alice said, in a tone that sent shivers down my spine and his visibly. "Please tell me you didn't know about this."

He didn't meet her gaze. After a prolonged silence, he finally said softly, "I can't say that."

She turned to Emmett. "Emmett?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "He's my brother—"

"Yes, he's my brother too!"

"It's not the same, Al," Emmett hushed her, using a cold stern look. I was beginning to notice that not only do the Cullens have their wonderful puppy dog looks to get them whatever they wanted, they all have an unnerving ability to give the cold shoulder. "We're his best friends. Of course we knew."

Alice rose to her feet, her face turning bright red. I still sat on the couch, looking at my lap at my chipping nail polish. "_I do not care._" Rosalie gripped my hand more tightly. "I do not care that you are his brother, you are his best friends. That_ our _brother has a _fiancé, _while he's dating my _best friend_ is something you fucking share."

"They aren't—" Jasper began, but was cut off by Edward's bedroom door being wrenched open and a very flustered looking Edward coming out, his face red and angry.

"Get out—"

"No, Edward. At least be a man and talk to me without getting upset. I deserve that at least, don't I? I'm your fucking fiancé." Tanya stood in his doorway with her hands on her hips.

"You aren't my fiancé," he heaved, his hands already in his hair and tugging on the ends.

At this point, they had seemingly forgotten we were still in the room and were now watching their General Hospital drama unfold in front of our eyes.

"Yes I am, Edward! You asked me and I'm wearing the ring, aren't I?" She raised her left hand for emphasis and pointed to her ring finger.

"YOU SAID NO, TANYA!" he bellowed. His hands found the dining room table and he slammed his palm against it. "And you kept the ring? You said it was stolen."

"Of course I kept it silly. And I didn't say no. I said this wasn't the best time—"

"You said that you thought it would be best if we weren't together anymore. That's called breaking up."

"We were on a break, Edward. I didn't really expect you to pack up all your shit and move across the country," she scoffed at him.

Edward took a deep unsteady breath. "You said you didn't want to marry me, Tanya. Why would I stay in New York? You were the only reason I stayed there in the first place." A knife punctured my heart. I watched solemnly as he picked up her purse and walked towards her. "I think you should go now."

"Eddie," she purred, her voice dropping to something low and seductive sounding. "Can you really say you aren't happy to see me?"

He thrust her purse into her hands. "No, I'm not. We broke up. Move on. I have."

Tanya took her purse and walked past him towards us, her eyes dancing between Rosalie and I. She gave us both a once over before turning her body back to him with a huff. "I seriously doubt that."

"Tanya," he sighed heavily,"please leave." His was defeated now, his voice wavering and soft. His shoulders hunched slightly as he stared at her and it was obvious his resolve was weakening.

"I love you, Edward," she said, her hand reaching up and gingerly touching the side of his face.

My heart wasn't beating—I was most sure of that. My chest felt hollow and felt like it was caving in because of the ripping feeling building.

It almost made me sick to watch this, because the first thing I noticed while they were standing next to each other was how wonderful they looked together. How their height difference was minimal while in her heels so that if he wanted to kiss her, he wouldn't have to bend down like he did with me—he'd barley have to dip his head.

They were a matched pair; both in nice clothes, nice hair, and clearly good taste in the opposite sex. Both of their hair seemed to have the right amount of red in it, complementing each other in the most obscure kind of way.

The whole scene made me want to crawl under the couch. Or jump out their window. Whichever made this go away faster.

Edward put his hand on top of Tanyas' and removed it from his cheek. "I know," he whispered. His eyes traveled past her and met mine, and for an instant, I felt my heart break and hell freeze over, because I was certain that the words _I love you too _were about to escape his lips. But instead he released his grip on her and said, "I'm sorry…" without breaking eye contact with me.

Whether he was speaking to Tanya or me I wasn't sure.

Tanya brushed past him, purposely knocking against his chest with her shoulders, heading towards the front door. She didn't try to bid us farewell—she slammed the door shut with enough force that the pictures on the living room wall shuddered from the vibration.

Edward stood staring at his feet facing us, rubbing the back of his neck, probably completely in awe of what to do next. He let out a loud groan and turned to the wall next to where he was standing and slammed his fist through it. The decorative mirror that had been hanging there fell to the floor and shattered, sending shards of broken glass across the floor. Edward removed his hand from the wall, blood and ripped skin already visible.

Alice helped him out. "What the fuck was that, Edward?" she yelled.

He raised his eyes hesitantly, but not to meet mine. "My ex," he stated simply.

There was no speaking. No one dared to after that debacle. We all just kind of looked at each other for a moment, with everyone purposely trying to avoid my gaze.

I picked at the dirt under my fingernails. "I think I'm going to go home, "I said quietly.

Edward finally looked at me. "No, Bells—"

"Edward," Rosalie snapped in a stern voice.

I held his gaze with a sense of fake confidence while it felt like I had been punched the gut. His eyes held remorse and the same kind of confusion I was feeling, but I still couldn't put the two and two together. I _had _mentioned to him that I had a fiancé recently before, hadn't I?

I shook my head to try and get the thoughts out, but that was mute.

"Bella, please."

I stood, going to the barstool to get my purse and slid it on my shoulder. "I just want to go home," I whispered loud enough for him to hear me.

He stood froze six feet in front of me. "That wasn't what it looked like—"

"Shut up," Rosalie snapped again. "I'll drive you home, Bella."

"Thanks, Rose, but I think I'd rather walk," I thanked her, smiling weakly.

Edward laughed without humor. "It's below freezing outside, icy, and it's snowing. You're not walking home. I'll drive you.

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Edward."

"We don't have to talk."

I needed to get out. Tears were prickling behind my eyes and were about to force themselves through. "I don't want to be around you," I told him sternly.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then snapped it shut. I cast him one last look as I put on my coat, turning right as a tear escaped my eye.

I walked out of the apartment in a state of confusion and fury.

No one bothered to come after me.

* * *

Surprisingly, I didn't cry on the way home. It was especially surprising to me, because as I left, tears were stinging my eyes, threatening to spill over and bring me down.

Yet twenty minutes later on the side walk of several brownstones on the way back to my apartment, with snow falling to the ground, I couldn't bring myself to be sad.

Instead I tried not to drown in it. I tried to stay afloat, using my common sense and my brain to battle my emotions that were so willing and eager to consume me.

My phone had vibrated and rang about six times or more, I had lost count after four. I knew they were him. Alice and Rosalie would call me after thirty minutes to make sure I was home or was at least close to home. Jasper and Emmett wouldn't call because they wouldn't know what to say.

Edward was calling because he wanted to explain. However I had a pretty good idea that if I answered the phone he would have no idea what to say.

The snow was beginning to saturate my coat and chill me further, but I was glad I was walking. I was glad to have the silence—I embraced it. I embraced the ability of my mind to just roam without distraction, to actually analyze what I witnessed.

Edward has—or had—a fiancé. That's not such a big deal…if Tanya wasn't still completely convinced they were still together. But why would he not mention that?

Why would he go into such details of his past, such as that he played tea party with Alice than to mention his past relationship? Unless he was trying to keep it from me. Unless he was still somewhat involved in the relationship, even if it was technically _over._

My heart throbbed.

I felt another vibration from my purse. I reached to grab my phone to silence it, seeing the screen flash _**Edward **_in my face. There were seven missed calls and four texts within twenty five minutes.

I slowed as I approached my apartment complex. My cheeks were numb, my feet were cold, and my head was dizzy. I reached on to a nearby railing for support as I felt myself sway, biting my lip to focus on _something_.

I hurried into my complex, rode the elevator up with my neighbor—a rugged man in his mid thirties with an adorable four year old daughter—who I used to have a crush on…before Edward.

He looked at me curiously. "How's your night, Bella?"

I swallowed the real answer. "Alright. I've had better," I answered honestly.

He was charming with dark blonde hair and deep blue eyes that had the softest wrinkles around the corners from laughing. He was flirting with me shamelessly as we usually did, except this time my brain was elsewhere.

As we stepped off the elevator, he paused at his door. "If you'd like to have a drink, Ashley is at her mothers, so I have the place to myself this weekend."

A few months ago, I would have jumped his bones.

I smiled politely. "Thank you, Mike, but I think it'd be best if I just went home to bed."

He nodded. "I understand. Well, the offer remains if you change your mind."

I watched as he turned down the hallway to walk to his apartment. I sighed heavily, jamming the key into my lock and letting myself inside.

The deadbolt locked behind me, and I leaned against the closed door, sliding down to the floor and throwing my purse away from me.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, staring into the living room of my apartment. My phone went off again and again but I ignored it.

Eventually I picked myself off the ground and went into my room, not bothering to change. I laid myself in bed, closed my eyes, and finally succumbed to the emotions I had been fighting so hard against that night.

In a battle of rationality against emotions…emotions prevailed.

I didn't bother opening my eyes as the tears began to flow freely. I couldn't explain the emotions that I was feeling. There were no words that seemed adequate. I was feeling so much and had no outlet for them except for the tears, so the tears fell.

I wished I couldn't feel a damn thing.

* * *

**Sometimes, change is too much to bear, but most of the time, change is the only thing saving you.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I know, another chapter? Yes, it's really true. Two chapters within a week. Here's a poll for you lovelies though: would you rather me update more frequently and have shorter chapters or less frequently and longer chapters? I'll leave it up to you guys after this!**

**Oh, and a treat for you all...I'll send you a teaser for next chapter when you review ;)**

**As always, I own nothing. **

* * *

_Empires are not brought down by outside forces. They are destroyed by weaknesses from within._

It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt.

I kept repeating the phrase in my mind over and over again, hoping that the repetition would help extinguish the burning in my chest. There was movement on my bed but I didn't dare open my eyes to see who it was. My silent question was answered when a tiny pair of slender arms wrapped themselves around my torso from behind me.

"I know you're awake," Alice whispered. "And I want you to know, before I continue, that Rosalie and I will _never _bring this up again, aside from this moment. Understood?"

I made the smallest effort to nod, staring at my wall opposite of her. She must have been pleased with the response because she continued. "Regardless of what happens now, you both are my family Bella. I'll never understand what took place last night, because I witnessed a side to my brother I hadn't seen in years."

She paused, probably sensing my curiosity with her last statement. She sighed heavily, pushing her forehead against my spine. "Edward had a terrible temper in high school. The yelling, the punching walls, breaking things…He and Dad used to get into actual fist fights. Mom got into the habit of whenever they argued, she'd come into my room and we'd turn up the music and do manicures and such, all while trying not to think of what was going on downstairs…" she trailed off, her voice wavering.

I turned in the bed so I was facing her. Her eyes were full of unshed tears as she smiled weakly at me. "You'd never guess that, would you? Even when he's interacting with Dad. They've come so far in their relationship, although sometimes around these times it gets tense occasionally."

"What about Emmett?" I croaked, my voice breaking.

She sniffed. "What about him? Do you really think he could hurt a fly?" A tear finally escaped and leaked out of the corner of her eye on to my pillow. "Ugh, Bella, this was not the point of this conversation." She wiped the tear and closed her eyes. "The point is, is that I don't understand it. I don't know who that woman is that came last night, however I'm feeling like I don't even know my brother right now. But you both are my family," she repeated. "And I _cannot _lose either of you."

My heart churned. The reason I hadn't wanted to date Edward was starring me right in the face, with tears in her large blue eyes. It was never that I had thought Alice wouldn't be alright with the idea of us together—I had always known she'd be enthralled.

It was what would happen when things didn't work out. How heartbroken she'd be and how she would feel like she would have to chose between us…

Although Edward and I hadn't officially "not worked out" yet, it was seemingly going down that path; and such a dark and traitorous path it was.

She focused on my eyes and hardened her features. "Do you understand me?" her voice was stern and stubborn, unlike how she sounded when she told me what clothes to wear. Instead it was a stubbornness I had never heard from her before; desperate and pleading.

"Yes, Al."

"Good," she sniffed again and laughed softly, sitting up in my bed. "I'm going to go make breakfast. Pancakes?"

I nodded, not able to find my voice. She smiled widely, putting what just happened behind her, and going on with her day as if it hadn't happened.

I watched her leave and shut my door laying on my back. I shifted my gaze to the ceiling, staring up at my slowly rotating fan as the blades made a continuous cycle. I didn't replay last nights images in my mind anymore. They had played a thousand times as I fell asleep and even in my dreams. So I squeezed my eyes shut and did what any normal and rational girl would have done—I shoved everything into a drawer in my mind and locked it shut.

I wouldn't reopen that until I could handle it.

The day followed suit much like any other Sunday. Rosalie had planted herself to watch her routine football games, Alice had gone shopping, and I usually used my Sundays to write. I didn't have the heart to write so I sat down next to Rose on the couch, helping myself to some of the beer and popcorn she had on the coffee table.

She glanced at me through her lashes. "You're watching football with me?"

I shrugged without looking at her. "What else am I going to do?"

She didn't say anything, only staring at me silently for a minute before turning back to the television.

I was grateful for that, at least.

* * *

Time passed; although it was impossible for it not, a part of me believed that it wouldn't.

I awoke with a start, my breathing labored. I hadn't had a bad dream, or a _good _dream for that matter, but I woke up uneasy.

It was Thursday afternoon. I had managed through work these past through days but finally called out today due to lack of sleep, or according to my boss. He was understanding, telling me I looked like shit anyway and that maybe I should take a long weekend and be back to normal on Monday.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that this wouldn't be over by Monday.

Edward hadn't called or texted once since Saturday night. And staying true to her promise, neither Alice or Rose mentioned a thing about that night. In fact, they didn't even mention his name or even their significant others names in my presence. The drawer I had shut him and that night rattled, but I pushed it farther into the back of my mind.

I'd talk to him when I was ready.

Only I didn't know how soon that would actually turn out to be.

I walked to my door, slipping on a sweater before entering the living room. The heating had turned off because of the time of day, yet it was still mid sixties in our apartment. I fiddled with the thermostat right outside of my room, trying to revive some sort of heat into the place when a deep male throat cleared.

I literally fell backwards and screamed, grabbing the nearest thing to me, which happened to be one of Rosalie's high heeled shoes. As soon as I cleared the hair out of my face, I wanted to keep screaming.

Edward sat on my couch, his elbows on his knees, watching me. He held a bouquet of daisies in his hands, slowly spinning them between his palms. _He remembered I like daisies. _I shook the thought out of my head. He looked a little tired with dark circles under his eyes. But that was it—there was no distraught look on his face or worry—he looked calm. He wasn't fidgeting like I would have been or looking at me nervously. He was smooth and composed.

_The calm before the storm._

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was let in," he said, not breaking his eyes from my gaze.

"I'm going to _kill _Alice—"

"By Rosalie," he finished.

That took me off guard for a moment. I couldn't help the perplexed look on my face as I sat in my bedroom door frame clutching her five inch spike. I looked down to it, then back to Edward, contemplating the likeliness that I would actually be able to hit him if I threw it.

"You'll miss," he chuckled, as if reading my thoughts.

I frowned like a child, putting her shoe back on the ground and letting myself up. "What are you doing here?" I repeated, not satisfied with his previous answer.

"I want to talk, Bella."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"You don't have to talk. You can listen."

I threw him a nasty look. "So thoughtful. You came to have a conversation with yourself. Next time do it in your own apartment. Or better yet, have a conversation with your fiancé!"

The drawer rattled, shaking itself free in my mind, unable to contain itself.

"You can't deny we need to talk—"

"Actually, there's nothing _we _need to talk about right now, Edward."

"Stop lying to yourself. At least if you're lying to me you won't believe it," he snapped, raising himself off the couch and taking steps toward me. He followed me into the kitchen where I leaned against the counter, not facing him, with my eyes clenched shut.

_Please let this be a bad dream. I'm not ready for this yet. _

I opened my eyes. _Damnit._

"What is it Edward? What? What do you need to get off your chest so badly? Because right now I really don't have anything to say to you."

I heard him take steps closer to me, pausing when he thought he may be coming too close for comfort. "We need to talk about what happened Saturday," he said slowly, probably watching my body for any sudden movements towards him. "I need to explain everything."

I hung my head. The drawer broke completely free, questions, pictures, and emotions bubbling to the surface of my mind and forming questions at the tip of my tongue. "Why?" I whispered hoarsely. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He was quiet for a minute, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want him to see the confusion and hurt that was so clearly plastered across my face. I wanted to seem strong in his eyes; unbreakable. "There was never a right time to."

"Bullshit," I spat, finally facing him now that anger was written across my features. "I'm sorry, did I not mention that I had a fiancé? How does the opportunity not present itself when we fucking talked about that? I don't seem to understand your logic."

"We were talking about you—"

"Yes, and that would have been the most appropriate time to mention, '_Hey Bells, yeah by the way, I actually have a fiancé!'_"

"I don't have a fiancé!" he yelled. He forcefully slammed his palm against the counter, bringing down the daisies with it. I saw him push them out of the way so he wouldn't destroy them anymore then he had already, clearly frustrated.

"Really? Because she seemed pretty certain that you did!"

"She is _delusional," _he seethed through clenched teeth.

"You're delusional if you expect me to believe that," I huffed at him, rolling my eyes dramatically.

"Why won't you fucking listen to me?" he yelled. I cringed at his sudden change of tone; trying to keep up with his hot and cold emotions. He paused, obviously trying to control his anger. Finally he spoke slowly, "Have you given any thought as to why I wasn't there that morning when you woke up?" he asked harshly. He didn't have to specify that it was our first time together. His question lingered in the air before I answered.

"Of course I did!" I shrilled. "I asked you why and you shrugged me off!"

"Because you asked the same day, Bella! God, I didn't know that I'd feel this way for you so an explanation at the time wasn't necessary!" His jaw clenched so tightly and the vein in his forehead looked like it might burst. "I—I had no idea that I'd feel this way about—" he stopped, taking a much needed breath and continued, "—I wasn't there in the morning because she called."

"Tanya?" I whispered.

He nodded once. "She called and I made the mistake of answering it before I checked the caller ID." He paused, his eyes searching mine for something. "After I talked to her, I just couldn't get back in bed with you…You have no idea how badly I wanted to, but I couldn't. I—" he took another deep breath, "I had so many thoughts running through my mind that morning that I needed to clear my head. I ended up going to the hospital and starting my shift three hours early."

"Why couldn't you get back in the bed, Edward?" I had to ask. In my gut I already knew the answer, but I needed him to confirm it.

He hesitated, biting his lower lip and fidgeting with his hands. "It seemed—"

"Wrong to get back in bed with a woman you just had sex with when you just talked to the woman you love?"

His eyes widened slightly before he averted his gaze to the floor. I felt bile rise up in my throat but I forced it down with an audible swallow. My breathing was heavy and I felt so much hurt and anger in this moment than I thought I was capable of feeling.

Being alone with him was like being in a room which someone had just violently left—filled with tension and not knowing what to say. We were quiet for a few moments, neither of us able to construct the words that would amount to anything substantial enough to say.

"I was just the rebound!" I finally yelled at him. I felt tears begin to sting my eyes and I wanted to appear strong and blink them away, but a few escaped the corners. "Admit it, I was the rebound. I was the chick that was supposed to distract you from your pain."

His lips pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were tired looking, like he was suddenly exhausted from something.

"Just fucking say it," I told him.

"Alright," he murmured. "Alright, will that make you happy? Yes, Bella, you were the rebound. I had just broken up with Tanya and met you. I didn't want anything serious when I met you. You were just supposed to be a one night stand."

His words ripped straight through my heart. I knew my eyes were wide as saucers and there was nothing I could do to stop the tears now.

"I'm sorry that you were forced to stick around," I sneered.

"Bella," he growled. "You were _supposed_ to be a temporary distraction. But you're so much more—"

"Shut up."

"Do you not get it? I didn't plan on feeling this way about you, but you suck me in. Everything about you makes me want you. Every word out of your mouth makes me want to kiss you. You're the worst rebound ever because there is nothing _temporary _about you. You, Bells, are permanent."

"Please, stop…" I wiped my cheeks and grabbed a glass of water to calm my nerves.

"No." He glared at me like a child. "When I moved back here, I thought you were the answer I had been hoping for to distract me. And you did, so much so, that I've never felt this way—"

"ENOUGH!" I slammed down the glass I had been drinking out of on the counter, and watched as the glass broke into a million little pieces, sending water splashing all over the granite and spilling over to the floor.

Edward stared at he broken glass in my hand, his eyes tight. "You're bleeding."

"I don't give a fuck right now, Edward!" I ignored the stinging in my hand that was growing stronger by the second.

He was suddenly in front of me, pushing the glass away and prying open my hand and scowling at me. "I do." He turned on the faucet and stuck my hand under it, allowing the warm water to run across my palm.

I chanced a look at the cut; it wasn't too large, but probably deep because of how much blood was coming out. I felt light headed suddenly and held my breath, deciding to stare at Edward's ear instead of my wound.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" he asked hurriedly.

I nodded. "Under this sink."

He held my hand for another minute, and then ducked down to retrieve the kit. He returned a second later and snapped it open, fiddling around looking for some kind of bandage or something.

He ripped off a paper towel and pulled my hand from the water, pressing the towel to my palm and holding it firmly against there. "Hold that there. Push hard," he instructed.

I rolled my eyes; I was accident prone, I knew how to manage a cut.

He took out some white gauzy bandage, and unraveled it a little, before reaching out for my hand. Gingerly, he removed the paper towel to examine the cut.

He brought my hand up so it was less then five inches from his face. I tried to steady my breathing, but it wasn't really working as well as I had hoped.

"You don't need stitches," he concluded. He took the bandage and started to wrap it around my hand, apply pressure to it so the little bleeding it was still managing would stop. "Does it hurt?"

I swallowed thickly. "Not badly."

He nodded, and taped the bandage in place. He hesitated when he was done for a second, before pressing a kiss to my hand.

For half a second, all I wanted to do was melt into his touch.

But then I remembered everything, and I ripped my hand out from his, sending my uninjured hand across his cheek in a brisk slap. His face took a minute to register what had happened, emotions crossing his face simultaneously. He looked surprised and then angry.

"What the _fuck," _he mumbled at me, his eyes piercing and hostile. "I don't understand you."

"Me? You don't understand me? I feel like I've been completely upfront this entire time, Edward. I don't understand _you!"_

His mouth opened to yell something back at my when there was a loud rap against the door. We both froze, knowing for a fact that both Alice and Rosalie wouldn't have dared to come back to the apartment tonight in fear of witnessing this fight.

Thinking it was a neighbor making sure I was still alive, I sighed heavily and turned to walk to the door without saying a word to Edward. I heard him lean against the sofa and groan softly, imagining him running his hands through his hair and pinching the bridge of his nose.

I wrenched open the door, ready to snap at the innocent person behind it when I felt like I had been slapped myself. I stared up at the visitor in awe. Suddenly the room felt smaller, the air felt heavier, and I felt dizzier. I somehow mustered up enough breath to whisper, "Jake."

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**Love is just a four letter lie. Stay tuned :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy Thanksgiving! I'm sorry if I didn't get a chance to send all of you the teaser. I decided just to go ahead and post the chapter! Enjoy your holidays!**

**Honestly, I love the frustrated responses that you guys are giving me about Edward, however cruel it may seem. Just trust me that Edward really isn't as bad as he's coming off as…a lot of it is Bella's perception. :)**

**I own nothing, as always.**

* * *

_The most difficult phase of your life isn't when no one understands you—it's when you don't understand yourself._

_Secrets. _

_We all have them. We all keep them. We all tell them. _

_Some of us keep our own little secrets locked away for no one to _hopefully _ever find out about, while some of us choose to share the dirty information with someone we trust._

_Some secrets are good. Some, however, are bad._

_So when does that ultra thin line between acceptable secret keeping and just plain out right lying get crossed? _

_It's such a vague idea—such a gray area. The word _secret_ implies something naughty has happened, like a crime or cheating on your spouse. Those secrets can burn you if you aren't careful. _

_But what about those secrets that people with hold because they don't believe it's a big deal?_

_I'm terrified, because I know that those secrets are the ones that hurt the most. Not because they were actively hiding it from you, but because those are the ones that mean something to you, and nothing to the person holding them in._

_So when does it become acceptable to make a fib to cover something up? When does it become frowned upon? _

_My head is swimming with answers; however, I can't think of one appeasing one that settles the debate. _

_I've always had secrets. I don't find myself as a mysterious type of person or anything silly like that, I just seem to have a lot of things I choose not to tell anyone about. Occasionally, I'll let A or R into the loop, but there are some things that I know if I uttered, people would run for the hills. I wanted to tell Captious my secrets—but instead he became one. And lately, it seems as if I'm not the only person keeping secrets. _

_We all carry a secret that would break someone's heart if they knew what it was; if we could remember that, then there might be more understanding in the world. _

_Admit one secret—it could be to your spouse, best friend, or a stranger on the street. We all have so many built up that most of us have harmless secrets to spare. It doesn't matter who you tell, what matters is that you told someone besides yourself and your diary. _

_My harmless secret? I despise the holidays._

—_Bella Swan,_

_**Sinful in Seattle**_

* * *

"Jake."

He stood at the door, his smile wiped off his pretty face, now looking down at me with concern. "Bells, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and forced a smile. "No, nothing!" I was always a terrible liar—Jake didn't buy it. He rolled his eyes and looked into the apartment past me.

"Bella…"

"Really, Jake, I'm fine. What are you doing here?" Edward was in the living room probably still sitting on the couch where I left him so I was doing everything in my power to get Jacob to leave before Edward ventured out into the foyer.

"I…" he trailed off. He scratched his chin thoughtfully, obviously trying to string together his thoughts. "I wanted to talk to you," he finally said softly. When I was having a bad day did suddenly some radar in their minds to come _talk _to me? Like I wanted to talk. His black eyes bore into mine, making me squirm uncomfortably.

_Just a few months ago they would have turned you into mush, Bella. _Well, not anymore—the only color that can turn me into an incoherent pool of goo was green.

"Right now really isn't a good time," I said honestly.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and tilted his head to the side. "Why not?"

I sighed in annoyance, cursing the fact that Jake hadn't grown up in the slightest bit since we had been broken up.

"It just isn't," I hissed.

His eyes looked into the apartment again, this time gazing into the kitchen and noticing the big, bright bouquet of daisies lying half broken on the counter. He turned back to me with a silent question in his eyes; he knew I liked daisies. His eyes widened as he looked down at my bandaged hand. "What the—"

I bit my lip and racked my brain for something intelligent to say. I opened my mouth but was suddenly interrupted.

"Bella?" Edward's voice came from behind me.

My eyes slid closed and I sucked in a very necessary breath, waiting for the shit hit the fan.

Jacob's eyes were locked on what I assumed were Edward's, but I had yet to turn around. I exhaled loudly and turned to look at Edward. As soon as he came into view, I think my lungs collapsed.

His brows were knit together is the most confused, yet perfect way. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes were dancing back and forth between Jacob and me.

Trying to pick up the pieces of myself that threatened to fall apart, I turned back to Jake and forced a smile. Maybe he'd want to leave now. "Jake, this isn't a good time."

"Jake?" Edward asked, walking forward so he was right behind me. "As in Jacob?" he asked me but didn't take his eyes off the six foot four man in front of him. Jake had a good two to three inches on Edward, but at the moment in this sick staring contest they were doing I had to say Edward looked more intimidating of the two. I could hear the confusion in Edward's voice from why my ex was standing at my door and I was on his side of this argument—I had no idea.

Jake forced a curt nod. "Yeah," he breathed, his eyes narrowed to slits. "Who the fuck are you?

"Edward Cullen." _The man who had been fucking my brains out…before I found out about his fiancé. UGH._ I was silently praying that Edward didn't elaborate; Jake was hot headed and would probably take it as an invitation to fight.

Jake looked back at me, probably to see if my eyes could give anything away but I refused to meet them—either of their eyes for that matter. I was looking everywhere else, on the floor, the wall, just past both of them—wherever I could get away with it.

Edward cleared his throat and turned his body so he was facing me. "Bella, we really need to finish talking," he told me, his jaw clenched tightly.

But I didn't want to keep talking to him—either of them actually. I wanted to get away. I was suffocating, in my home which was supposed to be my refuge from things like this. Yet all I wanted to do was push past Jake and run as far away as I could just to escape the brooding gazes of the two men on either side of me.

I could tell that the two men were silently sizing each other up, with their aggressive stares and dominant stances. I felt at a loss standing between them, not being able to protect them from one another or more importantly, protect myself.

"I think we're done," I told Edward sternly. Jake's face began to light up so I quickly added, "To both of you. I'm done _talking _for today. And tomorrow. And the next day. I want to be left _alone_."

"Bella," Jake said, his eyes pleading. "Please."

"Whatever it is, it can wait," I pushed his muscular chest back out of my door frame. "You too," I added to Edward. "Out."

His eyes softened as he gazed at me. "Bella," he began, but I held up my hand and shook my head.

"I can't do this. Not today at least," I mumbled at him. He began to speak again but I cut him off. "Please Edward." The roles had reversed; I was pleading with him now.

His head hung slightly as he nodded. He leaned forward, brushing his lips against my cheek softly. The action made my body shiver involuntarily. I wasn't sure of his intentions with that move; I couldn't figure out if he did it because he had wanted to, or because my ex was standing in the door frame still, watching us.

"Bella I have some things to tell you about," Jake mentioned loudly, his eyes on Edward. "It'll take just a few minutes."

"She said not today," Edward said lowly, his eyes trained on me. Jake snapped back some comment to him, the sounds of their voices draining out of my ears to a faint murmur.

I waved them off, not paying attention to what they were saying now. The suffocation was getting worse. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed by invisible hands, wringing them as if they were filled with liquid. My head felt dizzy and I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes, identifying what was about to happen in a rapid sequence of events.

I was going to pass out. My eyes snapped open and I reached for the wall but missed, the room suddenly starting to spin and fade away.

"Bella," Jake began, realization starting to hit him. He knew me well enough to notice the symptoms. His face contorted into understanding as he pushed Edward out of the way and suddenly had his arms wrapped around me. The last thing I remembered before everything faded to black was Jake telling me it would be alright.

_Liar._

* * *

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was a pair of hushed voices in the background, which was strange, because I could hear more than two people in the room, shuffling around, breathing heavily, or doing other various activities.

I scanned my brain to remember what had happened before I passed out…Oh…_Oh._

I squeezed my eyes shut harder, putting the heels of my hands into my eyes, groaning softly. The voices stopped and suddenly I was surrounded again. I could feel their presence without even opening my eyes.

"I come home to find her passed out on my couch," Rosalie snapped, probably at Edward and Jake. "What the _fuck _did you do? And why the fuck are _you _here?"

Neither of them responded to her. I felt Alice's small hand on my forehead with a cool washcloth. "Bells, it's okay." I leaned into her touch, just needing the consoling a caring person. Alice smoothed my hair back and ran her finger tips across my hand. "What'd you do?"

I shrugged. "Does it really matter?"

She laughed. "Typical."

I glanced through my lashes around the room. Edward was leaning against the far wall, unabashedly staring at me with his arms crossed stubbornly over his chest. Jacob was sitting in our recliner, fiddling with his phone, not paying Alice and I much attention. Rosalie was in the kitchen, glowering and muttering profanities at Jake's direction, which he ignored.

Edward and I held each other's gazes for what felt like hours. He furrowed his brows in concentration, like he was trying to tell me something important, but the information was getting lost in translation. He clenched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously frustrated that our argument had gotten interrupted.

"Edward," I stood off the couch. "Can I have a word?"

I ignored the quizzical looks from the three remaining people in the apartment as Edward pushed himself off the wall and followed me into the hallway. I shut the apartment door behind me, leaning my back against it, closing my own eyes in hopes of finding a source of strength.

Silence fell over us again. It was tense and uncomfortable, so unlike us and any of the time we had ever spent together. The time we spent together was usually filled with laughter, sweet words, and moans of pleasure.

I clenched my eyes tighter.

"We can't keep doing this," he finally said. His voice was defeated, hinted with a sadness that I couldn't place at the moment.

"Doing what?"

"_This," _he emphasized. "The arguing, the ignoring, the not knowing what to say…" he trailed off, clearly frustrated. "That's not us."

_Us. _

I was so confused by everything that had taken place tonight; it left me disoriented and feeling drained. I didn't even feel like myself anymore. Who was this person I had become? I didn't recognize myself anymore. I had given in to using physical tactics when I couldn't find the right words to explain my emotions, like slapping him earlier.

No wonder he didn't understand me. I didn't even understand myself.

I didn't have the strength to continue arguing with him that he had just contradicted what he had said earlier to me in our heated fight and the things I'm sure I was contradicting myself with. I had no energy to deal with Alice or Rosalie right now. I had no energy to deal with Jake. All I wanted was to climb back into my bed and sleep until work Monday morning.

"Please believe me when I say that I was going to tell you, Bella."

I held up my hand for him to stop speaking. "I need time," I began, noticing the way that my voice wavered slightly. "I need time to comprehend everything and think. Mostly think," I added.

He nodded. "How much time?" he asked apprehensively.

I met his green eyes and suddenly was met with an expression I had never witnessed before from anyone in my life. "I'll let you know when I've had enough of it," I murmured, feeling my fingers twitch from the need to touch his face, to soothe him. I wanted to smooth out the wrinkles he was creating by his furrowed eyebrows and his frown, but I didn't. Instead I stuck my hands my pockets and tried not to think about when the next time I would be able to touch him again—or see him.

My stomach was in a knot that I had never experienced before. It was a combination of nausea and desperation; the two literally making me feel sick enough to vomit. The need to touch him was so overwhelming that I felt tears spring to my eyes as we stared at each other again, not speaking.

I was grateful that he succumbed to the need first; he cupped my face gently within his hands and pressed a single sweet kiss to skin of my forehead before brushing his lips against my ear lobe while he whispered, "I'll give you as much time as you need, Bell."

His lips brushed my cheek briefly and I closed my eyes to savor the feeling before I had to snap back to reality. I heard his footsteps retreat down the hallway towards the elevators, but I didn't dare to open my eyes again until I heard the familiar chime of the elevator doors opening and closing.

I refused to think about this right now as my ex sat in my living room…_My ex was in my living room._

I ripped open the door and angrily stomped over to where Jake was still seated, oblivious to the fact that there was now one more person who was annoyed with his presence.

"What are you doing here, Jake?" I felt like I had asked this question so many times tonight and no one could give me a true answer.

His brown eyes met mine and a toothy grin spread across his features. "I wanted to talk—"

"If that's it, then you can leave as well," I snapped at him.

He held his hands up in defeat. "Pushy. Okay, I actually wanted to take you out to dinner…because I really do have something I want to talk to you about."

I collapsed on the couch and yelled in frustration. "Why today?" I groaned, mostly to myself.

"If you get your ass up and get dressed, you'll find out." His voice was tight and irritated. When I didn't move right away he sighed heavily. "Trust me, you want to know what I have to tell you."

In the end, my curiosity got the best of me. I slipped on a pair of skinny jeans and boots, leaving on the same v-neck shirt I had been wearing previously and followed Jake to wherever he had decided he wanted to eat.

It was a strange feeling to be standing next to Jake again at a hostess stand of a restaurant, waiting to be seated for a table together. It had been over a year since we last did any activities that resembled being a couple, yet the lost familiar act didn't seem to faze him whatsoever as he held out his arm to indicate for me to walk ahead of him.

He ordered us a bottle of wine to share with our meal without asking—something he had gotten into the habit to during our relationship. His eyes met mine as the server retreated and he suddenly looked weary. "Sorry, was that okay?"

I shrugged, trying not to show how much I remembered about our relationship. "What's this about, Jake?"

He fiddled with his hands on top of the table. "Well first you have to promise not the be mad." I didn't say anything; instead I raised a silent eyebrow at him. "Do you remember your manuscript?"

I snorted. _Of course _I remembered my book manuscript. It's not like I hadn't been working on it for the past three years or anything like that.

He was watching my face carefully as he spoke his next words, "Do you remember when you let me read it?" I nodded, my eyebrows knitted in confusion. What was he getting at? "Well, I let someone else read it."

A number of emotions passed through my body at once. "You did _what?"_ I wasn't even aware that he still had a copy of my manuscript—I was sure he would have trashed it long ago.

He held his hands up to stop me. "Let me finish. Don't you want to know who it was?"

I had experienced too many emotions in the past four hours. "Does it really matter?" I snapped.

"Depends…if you think Tom Collins at Word Smith Publishing is someone's opinion that may matter."

I froze in my seat, not able to move even as the server returned with our wine. Jake thanked him and poured me a glass, moving it closer to me. "Drink," he instructed. He poured himself some but didn't drink it. He had a small smile playing on his lips as he swirled the wine in his glass. He was obviously pleased with himself.

"What—how—when—how?"

"Don't you want to know what he said?" he asked, clearly enjoying himself now. I nodded numbly, still not able to make cohesive words or statements. "He _loved _it Bells. He called me after only reading the first few chapters and said he hadn't been able to put it down. He called again after that when he was done saying he had to meet you. He had to meet this Sinful girl."

"How is that possible? I mean, how did you manage to get him to read my manuscript without it going through the whole process?"

Jake briefly broke our gaze to watch someone walk by. "I pulled a few strings," he said, not explaining further.

My previous tainted mood had been replaced by an uplifting and promising one. An hour ago, I would have never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd be sitting here with Jake and enjoying myself. Edward's drawer rattled as Jake spilled more details about the meeting he had set up for me, trying to be let out again.

I took an unsteady breath, sipped my wine, and fell into conversation with Jake. That's the thing that had made being with him so wonderful when we were together—Jake was easy. Everything about him was simple and to the point. He always told you what was on his mind at that very moment because of his lack of a thought filter. His smile was always genuine and it was always evident that he was always there mentally and emotionally with whoever was presently in front of him; he was never one to daze off in conversations like I did.

Reminiscing made me smile, but it made my heart heavy as well because the two things I longed for the most was something easy and Edward. But Edward wasn't easy.

* * *

**You change for one of two reasons: either you learn enough to want to or you've been hurt enough to have to.**


	18. Chapter 18

**We're reaching a happy medium here…A long chapter that was updated pretty quickly! 16 pages of sinful goodness…enjoy! I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday! Your reviews and responses give me the best inspiration of getting these chapters out more quickly. I love you all :)**

**I own nothing, as usual.**

* * *

_We all carry these things around with us that no one can see. They hold us down like anchors that drown us at sea._

_It's the most wonderful time of the year!_

Christmas music rang through our apartment as Alice sang along, spending her afternoon decorating a extravagant tree in our living room. Rosalie and I took no part in helping her—we watched from the kitchen drinking our coffees in order to keep a safe distance from her.

Alice was lethal with tinsel and scissors, not to mention mistletoe.

"I know I should be used to it by now," Rosalie began, watching Alice from over the top of her oversized mug, "but _why _does she do this when none of us will actually be here this Christmas?"

Alice shot Rose a dirty look, causing her to snort and choke on her coffee.

"Why wouldn't you want to get excited about the holidays before we actually celebrate them?" she asked us, looking a little ridiculous with illuminated Christmas lights wrapped around her neck, wrapping them around the tree.

I sighed dramatically, earning a dirty look for myself from her. "Don't be the scrooge. It's not flattering on anyone, Bella."

I _despised _the holidays. It actually had nothing to do with the holidays themselves. It was nothing about the decorations or the cheesy music—it was what they did to people. They brought people together, which in usual circumstances is a wonderful thing; however in my family, it brought everyone together and left me standing out on my own more often than I could count.

Ever since Charlie had married Sue, the holidays in Forks have gotten a little crowded with Sue's own two children staying with them as well.

Every year, Alice always extends the offer to spend Christmas with her and her family. Apparently Christmas is the Cullen's holiday of choice, going over the top with parties with extended family and closest friends. She invited me again this year and I was tempted to take her up on the offer but seeing as how Edward would be there, I wasn't sure it was the best idea.

We hadn't spoken since that day that Jake had interrupted our fight—since his lips lingered on my cheek and against my ear outside my apartment door. A part of me was extremely grateful for it. His absence made me miss him, but it allowed me to think clearly as well.

I didn't ask Alice what he was doing for the holidays or even what he was doing. There were times where I know she wanted to tell me because she'd open her mouth to speak and then close it, slowly turning away from me. I never pushed it. I wanted to be unbiased as I thought about everything.

It had been two weeks since that day. Christmas was next week, looming around the corner as my own personal form of torture. I hadn't confirmed with Charlie that I'd be driving to Forks for a visit yet either—maybe I was unconsciously keeping my options open for the holidays.

Suddenly, Justin Bieber's Christmas album was playing on our stereo, Alice singing loudly and widely out of tune along with him. By her smile, you could tell she was doing it to annoy Rosalie and I.

Rose tossed me a _what the fuck _look, putting her empty mug in the sink and sauntering back to her room. Right before she walked through her door frame, she leaned over the couch, quickly pressing the power button to the stereo. She and Alice made eye contact, before she shut herself in her room with an audible locking of her door.

"Both of you. The scrooge and the Grinch. Jesus," Alice mumbled, turning the music back on.

Amused, I sat down at the bar with my coffee and my paper, listening to Alice's singing in the background.

* * *

Eventually, I gave in to calling Charlie and letting him know that I'd be coming home for Christmas. He sounded genuinely excited as did Sue in the background, although it had only been a year since they had seen me last.

I left the day before Christmas eve, the day before Alice and Rosalie were leaving for the Cullens. I was only staying four days, therefore only bringing one suitcase with me. Alice glanced at it apprehensively as I walked out of my room already bundled in my coat.

"That's all you're taking?"

"Yes," I informed her. "I'm only staying a few days. And I'm going to Forks, not like some fancy place where I need a lot of options."

She nodded slowly, still not convinced. "If you say so…" She leapt off the couch and wrapped her arms around me. "Be careful and call me when you get there."

"Yes _Mom."_

She pulled away, giving me a stern look. "Don't sass me."

I rolled my eyes. "You just sounded way too much like Renee for comfort."

"If you decide to come back early," she began, handing me my purse off the dining room table, "We're having that party Christmas evening. I'd love you do come."

I was itching to say yes, but I restrained myself. "If I get too bored, then count me in."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "Yeah, that's a no," she groaned, laughing.

I said my goodbyes to her and Rose, and began my long drive to Forks. The drive wasn't actually that bad, which was surprising since it had just recently snowed. It was actually nice to be able to have my head clear and enjoy the environment around me.

I hadn't always hated the holidays. When it was just Charlie and I, I really enjoyed them. Things were simple when it was just the two of us. I would decorate the small house we shared and cook dinner for the two of us after we exchanged gifts. It wasn't what you'd expect from a traditional Christmas and I'm sure it was nothing compared to what Alice, Edward, and Emmett grew up doing, but it was us. At least then it was.

I pulled up to Charlie's house, my feet crunching underneath the freshly fallen snow. It was still snowing currently, coating the trees and his cruiser in the driveway. I recognized Sue's car immediately that was next to his, and assumed the two extra vehicles belonged to Seth and Leah, Sue's children.

I wasn't even able to find the key to the front door before it was wrenched open and tanned arms drug me inside, pulling me into the warmest hug I'd experienced in months.

"Oh Bella!" Sue cooed, wrinkles evident in the corners of her eyes from her wide smile. "Charlie and I are so glad you came!"

I really did like Sue—which I know is a rare thing to say about a stepmother. But she was warm and inviting, but also tough. She was exactly the kind of woman Charlie needed. Although it was clear he still loved Renee, it was even clearer that he adored Sue.

It was weird imagining my dad falling in love, doing the things that I had been doing with Jake at the time, or experiencing the emotions that I was going through with Edward currently. My thoughts got cut short as he suddenly appeared.

"Bells," he said as he picked me off my feet, holding me close like he was scared I was going to vanish. It hit me there that maybe I needed to visit more often so that he and Sue wouldn't attack me every Christmas from now on.

"Can't—breathe—" I gasped, trying to laugh but not having the air to.

Charlie put me down and blushed slightly. "Sorry, we just missed you Bells."

I smiled, shaking off my coat and the snow that was sticking to it. "I missed you guys too." I had just then noticed the amazing smell coming from the kitchen. "Sue, what _is _that?"

She smiled mischievously. "Come, it's almost ready. You can help me set the table."

I entered the kitchen behind her to find Leah over the stove, stirring something. She looked over at me and nodded with a tense smile. Leah and I didn't hug; we had much more of the typical step-family relationship. We were stepsisters, nothing more.

Seth, on the other hand, was like a little brother rather than a stepbrother. He was only eighteen and about to go off to college, giving Charlie a second chance at empty nesting. He zipped in the kitchen, giving me a hug and then snooping around trying to sneak dinner before it was ready.

"Will you go away?" Leah snapped at him.

"I'm starving—"

"Five minutes," Sue told him without looking up from what she was doing. "Go back and watch the game with Charlie."

He pouted at the woman's backs before retreating into the living room to where my dad was.

"So what are your plans for tomorrow Bella?" Sue asked, placing serving bowls on the table.

"I don't particularly have plans yet…" I trailed off.

"Would you like to join Leah and I on a last minute shopping trip to Port Angeles? I haven't been able to find Seth the right present yet," she added, winking at me.

"Yes, actually that'd be lovely," I accepted, taking out the cutlery from a drawer and assisting her in setting the table.

We ate together, as a family, talking about our days and what we've been up to. I caught Sue looking at me curiously several times but brushed it off as she hadn't seen me in months. But as I went to bed that night, she reminded me to be ready to leave by eleven in the morning for our shopping trip.

I fell asleep almost instantly, but it was not restful sleep by any means.

I dreamt of Edward, and not the way I had in the past. This dream was filled with fights, things breaking, ex boyfriends, and a certain strawberry blonde who threatened to destroy everything.

My nightmare was my reality.

* * *

I woke up around nine thirty, allowing me time to shower and get dressed before Sue and Leah would want to leave to go shopping. I slipped on a pair of dark skinny jeans and brown leather boots and buttoned one of my plaid flannel shirts as I walked down the stairs to meet them.

Leah handed me my purse without looking at me. "Ready?" she asked, her voice clipped.

"Sure," I shrugged.

Sue smiled warmly. "Perfect."

It was a relatively quiet car ride for forty five minutes. Occasionally Sue would try to fill the silence by asking either of us questions, but usually we answered with one word replies. My head was filled with thoughts of Edward and what he was doing on Christmas Eve. Was he with Alice and his family? Of course he was—there wasn't a doubt in my mind. But was he alone?

I shook the thought out of my head.

We arrived and shopped around. While I wasn't really searching for anything in particular, I knew there was one specific person on my Christmas list who still did not have a gift—Edward.

I had found a cute little black dress that Sue had picked out and even Leah said it was gorgeous, so I knew I had to get it. I'd wear it for new years or something. I paired it with a set of glittered heels that I knew Alice would approve of, sending her a picture just to prove a point. I got an immediate reply of just a dozen smiley faces.

As the three of us walked outside, I spotted a music store in the distance and a light bulb went off in my mind. "I'm going to go look around in there," I informed them, nodding in that direction. "I'll be right back."

I didn't look back at their forms as I made my way to the music store, grimacing as the door jingled with Christmas bells as I entered. I smiled at the elderly lady at the register, declining her help for finding something. Truthfully I had no idea what I was searching for. Just something that looked like Edward.

After fifteen minutes without avail, I was about to give up and just not get him anything at all until something caught my eye. I walked over to where they kept the music books and the music sheets, running my fingers over the paper and then eyeing the sign underneath it.

_Customizable in only 1 hour!_

I cleared my throat, gathering the attention from the clerk. She smiled and walked towards me. "So these composition sheets," I pointed to them, "are customizable within in a hour?"

She nodded. "Yes! We have a calligraphy machine in our stock room that does it in minutes. Then it takes roughly forty five minutes to dry completely."

I bit my lower lip, whipping out my phone and a quick text to Alice, whose reply was almost immediate. I swear that girl was never without her phone at her hip.

"I'll take it," I told her.

"How many sheets would you like?" she asked sweetly.

I contemplated and decided that fifty would be a good number to start off with. I didn't even know if he used these to write down his songs or anything else that related to his piano, but I wanted to make an effort that he could see I was trying and that I was ready for less space from him.

I mused silently in my mind how our relationship had played out; in the beginning how I had wanted more, more, more and now I was the person keeping my distance. But hopefully that would change.

I mean, really, why wouldn't I believe him? He had spent the last four months making me feel like a little girl and a woman at the same time, confused, giddy, sexy, and wanted. If he said he didn't have a fiancé, then he didn't have a fiancé in my mind.

"Dear?" the lady repeated. "What did you want the customized with?"

"Oh, sorry," I apologized. "I'd like to have them monogrammed please. EAC."

She jotted it down and told me the total. I handed her my card, suddenly feeling someone's presence next to me. "EAC," Sue mused.

"You scared the shit out of me," I laughed nervously, slipping my card back into my wallet.

"So you're dating?" she asked hopefully.

I bit my lip. "It's…complicated."

She nodded, understanding what I meant. "That's usually how it is, dear."

I blushed.

"That's what I like to see," she laughed, wrapping her arm around me. "So why aren't you spending the holiday with him? Don't get me wrong, Charlie and I love seeing you, but it's obvious your mind and heart are elsewhere."

So that explains the questionable stares she had been giving me all last night.

"Well, he's Alice's brother."

"Ah. So it really is complicated."

I nodded. "Alice invited me to their house tomorrow night though for a party their family has…he would be there. I'm tempted to go but—"

"But what?"

"I shouldn't leave my family on Christmas."

She beamed at me. "I would have thought you'd know by now Bella… Your family isn't limited to who's connected to you by blood or marriage."

She escorted me out of the store, telling the clerk we'd return in an hour to pick up my purchase. For the first time in years, I may not hate the holidays as much as I normally did. We continued shopping and returned home several hours later, all three of us exhausted.

Christmas morning was a show in our house. Even when it was just Charlie and I, he would always break out the video camera to record me opening my gifts, something that Renee had started when I was only a toddler. We had been doing it so long, it was natural.

When he and Sue got married, Seth decided that we weren't just going to get videotaped. We would also wear our tackiest Christmas gear we owned—he had been barely fourteen at the time.

A jingling noise came from the stairs, and a grouchy looking Seth appeared, grumbling about stupid traditions when Sue smacked him on the arm, reminding him it was _his _idea. He narrowed his eyes but shut up.

We exchanged our gifts, with nothing out of the ordinary. I had gotten Sue a spa day in Seattle (which she nearly shed tears over she was so excited), Leah a gift card to a store Sue said she loved, Seth some new techy gadget that would distract him from he went to college in a year, and Charlie…well Charlie I got him one of the newest fishing rods that were high tech, so I wasn't entirely sure how to work it, but judging by his face he knew.

I did well on presents this year, apparently.

After Sue excused herself to make the feast of lunch/dinner, Charlie came next to me by the fire and handed me a small box. "Here," he said.

I raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"

"Another gift."

"But Dad—"

"Just open it, Bells."

Sighing, I pulled the box open to find the most beautiful antique sapphire ring inside. It had a silver band that was extremely worn and obviously well loved. "It's beautiful!"

"It was Grandma Swan's," he explained. "I want you to have it."

I slipped it on my finger, surprised that it fit perfectly. I wrapped my arms around Charlie's shoulders and thanked him. "It's perfect," I told him. "Best Christmas gift ever."

He coughed awkwardly, returning my smile. "So Sue tells me you're going to a party?" He checked his watch. "It's already one, you should hit the road soon so you don't get stuck in any traffic on your way back to Seattle."

I nodded, hugging him again one last time. I said goodbye to everyone, feeling terrible that I was leaving when I had only just gotten there, and promised to visit more often. And maybe this time I'd actually stick to it.

I didn't inform Alice that I was coming. It was evident by the look on her face as she opened her door a few hours later that I had managed to completely surprise her and take her off guard.

"_BELLA," _she yelled, wrapping her arms around me! "Why are you here? Oh never mind that! We have a party to get you ready for!"

She insisted on me trying the outfit I had bought with Sue and Leah in Port Angeles, holding the glittery shoes in her lap like they were Dorothy's ruby slippers. Rosalie and she were already dressed of course, and there were people already arriving for the party.

"Shoes!" I cracked her bathroom door and extended my hand for her to give them to me.

"Just come out here," Rose drawled, blowing on her top coat of nail polish.

"No, I want the full effect," I argued.

Suddenly shoes were forced into my hand.

I smiled, slipping on the gold suckers and evaluating myself in the mirror. It was something I was weary about picking out on my own, especially the shoes; they were probably four inch heels, but they made my ass look great in this dress.

The dress was really nice, being the perfect little black dress. It was tight fitting in the right places, like around my ass and breasts, but the one shoulder draped beautifully across me, giving me a little bit of appeasement that if I had drank too much I wouldn't look bloated.

The one shoulder strap had silver and gold beading on it, the delicate detail simple but giving the dress exactly what it needed. The glitter on my shoes danced off the light from the bathroom, making me feel like I was in fact six years old again wearing my Dorothy slippers.

I heard male voices from Alice's room, instantly knowing that Emmett and Jasper had joined them, and most likely Edward had too. My heart began to race in my chest, beating an erratic rhythm that I wasn't accustom to. I took my eyes from my dress and focused it on my hair and makeup that Alice and Rose had just finished before I had put my dress on.

Rose had done a dark smokey eye, which at first I was tempted to say wouldn't look right on my fair complexion, however it looked marvelous. My cheeks were stained a pink that looked similar to my natural flush, and my eyelashes were a mile long and thick. Rose had finished my face with simple lip gloss, glowering at me that I would end up wiping all the lipstick off anyway if she put any on me.

Alice had made my hair hang in loose waves made by her straightening iron. I watched in awe as she took my normally plain straight brown hair and transformed it into this shiny playful mane that I secretly wanted Edward to put his hands in.

Slowly, I placed my hand on the bathroom door handle and turned it. All the conversation stopped and four sets of eyes were placed on me, my dress, and my killer shoes.

"Damn," Emmett breathed.

"Wow," Rosalie agreed, her eyes traveling my body.

Jasper coughed uncomfortably.

"Oh my God, Bella!" Alice bounced to me, which I wasn't sure how because her heels were taller than mine were. "You look radiant! I cannot believe you picked this outfit out. We've taught you so well," she added to Rose, who was still blowing on her nails but smiling at me.

I didn't escape my notice that the one person I wanted a reaction out of wasn't in the room.

Rose noticed my nervous expression and my eyes scanning around the room to make sure he wasn't standing behind me or something. She walked to me, pretending to fluff up my hair and leaned in closely. "He's already downstairs."

Alice hooked her arm through Jaspers. "Come on, love," she cooed. She shot a look back at me. "I'm so stealing those," she added right as they left the room.

I laughed as Rosalie linked her arm through mine and Emmetts, silently using us both as her escorts. I didn't mind as much as I thought I would have, but as we left Alice's room I suddenly noticed there were _tons _of people in the foyer below.

"All of these people are your family?" I hissed at Emmett.

He shrugged. "Most of them, yeah. Dad is the youngest of like five kids, and Mom is in the middle somewhere of four. They all have kids. We have a lot of cousins," he added dryly.

As we turned to descend the stairs, I let Rosalie and Emmett walk down alone, hearing Emmett yell out to someone in his family. I stayed partially hidden behind a column, trying to work up the nerve. Why was I here again?

_Just do it._

I came out from behind the column, lightly placing my hand on the iron railing to brace myself in case I fell flat on my ass. I noticed that this was a more formal event, suddenly thankful that I had bought this dress while I was shopping. Most of the guys were in suits or something similar, the women in little cocktail dresses that matched my own.

I scanned my eyes across the room in search for another pair—which I found staring back at me, wide and so green, at the bottom of the staircase.

We held each other's gaze for what felt like a lifetime. Jasper was trying to talk to him but found it was futile after following his gaze to me. He just shook his head and clapped Edward on the back.

Edward wouldn't stop staring.

His lips parted slightly and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, not knowing what to do with them. I began my descent down the stairs, the voices in the room becoming a dull murmur in relation to the excessive beating of my heart.

My foolish, foolish heart.

We didn't break eye contact as I descended. He didn't make any movement, even blink, until I was within his grasp and he slowly extended a warm, slightly sweaty, hand to me.

I accepted his offer, allowing him to assist me down the last three steps before I stood on the solid wooden floors with him, noticing that these heels had made my nose reach his mouth, something that I couldn't reach normally. He smiled warmly, flashing me his perfect pearly white teeth, bringing our joined hands down to our sides, refusing to release me. His thumb lightly danced on the back of my hand in a soothing effort that I allowed myself to melt into.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his green eyes still wide and searching mine. Normally, that question is asked out of haste, out of anger. But his voice was so deep, confused, but _happy_ that I couldn't help the smile on my own face.

"Surprise," I responded weakly.

His grin grew by a tenfold. "Yes, this is a surprise. A good surprise though," he added quickly.

Our hands were still together.

I flexed my fingers as if to remind him, but he didn't remove himself. Instead, he wrapped his fingers more securely around mind, intertwining them together in a proper hand hold.

I could tell by his sweaty palms and his laughter that he was nervous as I felt, but other than that he kept the cool façade. Only I knew the real him—he was faking it.

"Let's get you a drink," he insisted, still holding my hand and pulling me through a crowd of people to take me to the small bar. He waved at it with his free hand, indicating the vast collection of champagne and different assortments of alcohol that Esme and Carlise had prepared for. It made me laugh internally—there would always be drinking around family.

I informed him champagne would be perfect and he momentarily broke our physical connection of hand holding to get me a glass. I frowned, my hand now feeling cold and lifeless, and I had to flex my fingers in order to make sure they could still move.

Edward returned a moment later, gingerly placing the glass in my hand, swirling his own drink or what was probably scotch. He studied me for a minute before saying, "I'm so glad to see you."

Such a simple phrase, but it warmed my heart and made me blush. I hoped that it wasn't as evident as it normally was with the makeup that Rose had put on me, but his soft laughter told me differently. His hand reached out to lift up my chin, brushing his fingers lightly across my skin. My skin burst into flames at his touch, this intimate moment telling me everything I needed to know about the past few weeks.

Suddenly I was pulled away from him, my hand slipping from his. He looked frustrated, as Alice's hand replaced his and ushered me to where her and Rose were sitting. I shot him an apologetic look and he finally broke a smile, shrugging.

I sipped champagne the rest of the night, not seeing Edward again until most of the guests had already left. He approached the three of us with Jasper, eyeing us like he was testing the waters. Jasper squeezed himself between Alice and I on the couch, wrapping his arms around her and placing his other hand on her knee as she threw her legs over his lap.

I saw Edward loosen his collar, a sign he was a still a little uncomfortable about their relationship. He cleared his throat, staring at me intently. "Could I have a moment?"

I nodded, accepting his outstretched hand for the second time tonight. He led me through the last bit of guests who were still here, some who I believed were probably going to be staying the night because of how drunk they were. Even Edward seemed a little tipsy with his face red and his urgency to get me alone.

I let my mind wander in what could possibly happen. I _wanted _that—no, I _needed_ that; his touch, his fingers, his mouth…it had been too long since I had experienced them.

My heart fluttered ridiculously as he pulled me up the stairs, towards the direction that most of the bedrooms were off of until we stopped in front of a closed oak door.

I raised an eyebrow at him as a silent question. "My room," he explained, running his hands through his hair. I nodded in response, not entirely sure of what was going to happen next. He opened the door, pulling me inside and shutting it behind me.

I walked into this room, taking in everything that was in front of me. It was a typical boys room, which surprised me, because there was nothing typical about Edward. Posters of bands and girls were on the walls, along with old records that I'm sure Esme had put up in the design they were in. There was an old school desk with a desktop computer, a full sized bed with a nightstand and a lamp, a television in the corner, and baseball memorabilia _everywhere._

I ran my hand over one of the wooden bats he had stashed in the corner. "I used to play," he admitted, watching me.

I noticed a pair of French doors on the opposite wall. I didn't even ask him where they led; instead I walked over and pushed them open, feeling December's cold air wrap around me. They led me out on to an extremely small terrace or balcony that had a fire escape ladder that could be dropped to the ground. I wrapped my hands on the railing and took a deep breath.

"Beautiful," he said behind me.

I nodded, looking down at Esme's decorated garden. "It is."

He laughed without humor. "No, you, Bell."

I blushed, thankful that it was so dark outside so there was no way he could see me now. He was staring at me, and I wanted to change the subject. "So how did you get this room?" I asked.

He shrugged, putting his own hands on the railing so his shoulder was purpousley brushing against mine. "Well Dad said there was no way in hell Alice was having this room, with the fire escape and all," he chuckled to himself. "Her room has the biggest closet, so she didn't care. And Emmett didn't give a shit whatsoever, so I took this one. It made sense anyway, as in high school I used to smoke."

I nodded, closing my eyes. When I opened them, he was facing me and staring intently at me. "I have something to give you," he began. "A Christmas present."

I smiled. "I have one for you too."

His eyes lit up as if he were a child. "Really?"

I nodded, biting my lip hesitantly. "It's in Alice's room….I'll be right back with it?" I meant to say it, however it came out much more like a question than a statement.

I opened his bedroom door, shivering from the cool air that still lingered on my skin and ventured into Alice's room. I found my suitcase near her dresser and rummaged through it, finding the wrapped gift easily at the bottom of my bag. I clutched it to my chest like I did with my binders and books when I was growing up, feeling insecure and suddenly shy as I returned to his room.

He was sitting on his bed, a small gift packaged, wrapped in shiny paper that I'm sure Alice had done for him. He looked nervous as he patted the spot next to him, indicating me to sit down. I noticed a new watch on his wrist as he extended his arm. It was large and shiny and new, and as I began to sit, I noticed a very distinct _ROLEX _written on the face.

I know only a few people could have been able to afford giving him such an extravagant gift.

I sat next to him slowly, his eyes trained on mine. I decided to take the plunge first and handed him his gift without elaborating much. "For you," I told him, although that was already obvious.

He set what I assumed was my gift in his lap as he started ripping the packaging off of it. He made one last final tear and was finally able to identify the contents of the package.

"I don't know if you use these or not," I began, rushing to get the words out. "But I thought…maybe if you used them…I don't know." I trailed off, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

He stared at the papers, his thumb tracing lightly over where _EAC _was monogrammed on the sheets. He fingers ran down the length of the paper, almost like he could feel the music coming as he paused at each new line.

Edward looked at me, his expression wild and unexpected. I wasn't sure if he liked the gift or if he hated it. It had me in a daze. He smiled genuinely, skin wrinkling at his eyes. "It's perfect," he told me. "The best gift I've gotten this year; hell maybe even longer." He took a deep breath, composing himself and his emotions. "Thank you."

He handed me the small thin package awkwardly, laughing nervously and sending a hand into his hair. "For you," he explained like I did, probably feeling a silly as I had.

I unwrapped the present to find a home made CD, where all that was written on it was: _I hope you get everything you wanted this year. –E_

I peeked at him through my lashes. "What's on this?"

He grinned mischievously. "I can't tell you that. You'll have to listen to it and find out."

I sat, staring at my new CD for a few minutes, fighting an internal battle with myself of how to thank him, whether to touch him. A hug would be harmless, right? Before I could comprehend my own actions, I was throwing myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and holding myself there. His arms wrapped immediately around me, keeping me against him. "I love it—"

"You haven't even heard it yet," he chuckled.

"It's from you," I mumbled softly into his neck. "I'll love it regardless." It was a slip on my part, something that was supposed to come out inaudible but I know he heard me.

He pulled away from me to stare into my eyes. It was green versus brown, in a battle that had been dragged on for months and months, and months too long. I didn't want to be his enemy anymore—I wanted to be his equal, his partner. I wanted it to be the way it was supposed to be.

His gaze dipped down to my mouth and I knew he was going to kiss me. I involuntarily licked my lips, causing his eyes to hood slightly as he began to move his face closer to mine.

His nose brushed against mine as a warning, as a '_Hey, I'm really about to kiss you right now' _warning, but I didn't care. I moved closer to him, placing my hand on top of his warm one as he closed the distance between us.

Going a few weeks without kissing Edward had been torture now that his lips were on mine again. I had forgotten how soft and plump his lips were. I had forgotten how well they moved against mine and how wonderful he tasted. I could taste scotch on him, but something else as well—something else that was distinctively _Edward._

His tongue swept across my bottom lip and I granted him access, meeting him halfway with my own tongue. He tensed and suddenly we were moving, him pushing me up his bed and putting me below him so he could have more control over the situation.

Edward held himself on top of me, one hand holding his body weight so he wouldn't crush me, and the other grazing my hip and waist, trying to get closer to me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling him press against my lace covered center, and was extremely surprised when he pulled away, placing his forehead against mine, staring me in the eyes. I admit it, I hadn't expected us to be in this position, but hell, I missed this. More than I was comfortable admitting.

"Bella," he groaned, sounding terribly whiney yet the corners of his mouth were turning up into a smile.

"Yeah," I breathed, both of our chests rising and falling dramatically, crashing into one another.

He opened his mouth to speak, however nothing came out. Instead he just shook his head and lowered himself back to me, catching my lips with his and moving deliberately slow.

We didn't do anything other than kiss. Neither of us tried, surprisingly. Our hands did wander, but they were teasing touches, neither of us quite ready to take that next plunge that we've already taken. We were skimming around just beneath the surface and neither of us were comfortable yet with going deeper. I was okay with that—because we had all the time in the world to get deeper.

We kissed on his bed for what felt like hours, making me feel like I was seventeen again in Charlie's house, when I had snuck boys over when he was at work. Eventually we both grew tired; he lay next to me, running his finger tips over my arms, neck, and shoulders.

We talked about things that were in his room. He went into greater depth about not only baseball—but his life. He mentioned the anger problem Alice had told me about earlier and I did my best to look surprised as he relinquished the information to me.

But after what must have been hours, I felt myself doze off and I felt him doze off as well. His arm wrapped around my waist and he placed a kiss into my hair, whispering, "Goodnight Bell."

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, Edward was in the shower. I could hear him humming to himself, obviously in a chipper mood, however I had a little bit of a hangover from too many glasses of champagne. I threw my legs off his bed, pulling my dress down, and rubbed my temples.

I grabbed my CD gift off of his nightstand and slowly exited his room, being extra careful to close the door behind me without any noise until I heard a voice clear behind me.

I turned, banding my head against his door in the process, to see Esme standing in front of me with her hands on her hips. She looked at me expectantly.

"Hi Esme," I spoke awkwardly.

"Good morning, dear." She glanced at my attire and then the closed door. I felt my face redden.

"It's not like that—"

"Not like what?" she smiled knowingly, stepping past me and descending down the stairs. I closed my eyes and cursed silently in my mind. _Fucking mothers and their knowing-ness. _

Alice was in her room packing, oblivious to the fact I had slept in her brothers room. The Cullen's house had several extra bedrooms and I'm sure she had imagined I slept in one of them. She barely looked at me as I entered her room.

I changed into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved Henley top, throwing on my leather boots and a coat as I pulled my luggage out and down the stairs.

Carlise offered to put my suitcase in the car while I joined everyone for breakfast. I agreed, mainly because Carlise did that Cullen thing where you can't say no to them, joining the group as I slid next to Rosalie. Everyone at the table looked a little hung over and a little less perky than they normally did.

Except two people—Esme and Edward.

Esme sat at the head of the table that was closest to me, smiling and chattering on about the party last night. I wasn't sure how she did that because I know I saw her drink a serious amount of champagne. Even Alice, who normally was on speed or crack or _something, _was drinking black coffee and had a pair of sunglasses over her eyes.

Edward strolled in, whistling a tune I couldn't make out. Alice cringed. "Cut that shit out," she groaned at him.

He tossed her an amused look. "Why look at this! It's the pot calling the kettle black, little sis."

She flicked him off and put her forehead on the table. "I'm never drinking again…until new years," she added, making Carlise shoot her an un-approving look from over the top of his BlackBerry.

After the awkward breakfast, I bid everyone goodbye, knowing Alice and Rosalie were going to leave probably twenty minutes after I did. Edward slipped his arm around my shoulders and walked me out to my car. He opened my door for me to hop inside, leaning against the frame slightly shivering.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Where's your coat?"

He just grinned. "I'll see you soon, Bell." He ran a hand through his bronze locks. "Be safe," he added, kissing my cheek and shutting my car door.

Sometime along the way home, I slipped in his CD he made me. Beautiful notes and tones filled my car as I felt tears sting behind my eyes. I recognized the song immediately. I pushed the next button on the CD player, not recognizing the next one, but it was just a lovely as the first. I continued to do that until the end of the CD, skipping back to the first familiar track.

"_I wrote this for you."_

* * *

New Years Eve was most everyone's favorite holiday. It was one of mine, mostly because it condoned drinking. New Years, St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo—the list could go on and on.

I had cooked Rose, Alice, and I a girl's dinner while we were getting ready to go celebrate. I decided to wear my glittery Dorothy slippers again, slipping on a dress of Rosalie's.

The guys were coming here to pick us up before we joined the rest of our friends, including the newlyweds Angela and Ben, at some bar. Christmas was five days earlier—five days of thinking about the kisses, the gift, and Edward.

Tonight was the night—the night that would change everything. That we could move on—put this shit past us—_something. _I just knew that tonight would be monumental in our relationship, or whatever it was that we had together.

I was wearing a fitted black dress that had mesh around the chest and arms, allowing the sweetheart neckline to be visible, without actually showing skin. Emmett opened our apartment door, having already unlocked it for them. All three of them looked dashing in their own ways; however Edward looked to die for.

He was shrugging off his coat and wearing a thermal long sleeved top underneath that showed off his lean form and his muscles underneath. His dark washed jeans hugged him in the right places, making me think inappropriate thoughts of what was underneath his jeans.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thought.

Tonight started like any other night, as if the incident a month ago hadn't happened. The six of us were laughing, enjoying each other's company, and Edward was paying extra attention to me, almost like I knew he would.

It was like the situation had honestly gone away—_she _had literally disappeared from our lives, the thought of her vanished, not completely, but momentarily. She wasn't brought up again, almost as if both of us were too scared to talk about it.

Which just proved to me that we still had a problem communicating. But instead of trying to resolve it, I went along with my heart instead of my head, putting off what should have been done weeks ago until tomorrow.

We went to the bar and met up with our friends, Angela giving the three of us girls the scoop of married life and the crazy sex she and Ben had on their honeymoon. I found Edward staring at me while he was at the bar, shaking his head slightly, and laughing to himself.

That's how most of the night went. There were several glasses of champagne handed to me and I drank every one of them. I danced with Alice and Rosalie, I talked to Angela and Ben. I argued with Jasper and Emmett about something that I had no backing on, but I found it fun to argue. All while Edward just watched me, grinning.

But at 11:55, something changed.

It was a slight change in the atmosphere that I couldn't detect right away, because if I had, I would have left the bar then. It was something so miniscule that I couldn't see it until 11:59, when someone was yelling into my ear.

Alice was bouncing with excitement she couldn't contain as she grabbed my hand for the thousandth time that night. "It's almost time!" she exclaimed. "The countdown is at one minute until midnight! New years kiss time! Jasper, where are you?"

I laughed, but my eyes were already scanning the room for a particular mess of bronze hair. I found him at the other side of the room with less than thirty seconds left on the large screens in the bar. Our eyes met and we both smiled shyly, slowly making steps towards each other.

This was it. This would seal the fate of Edward's drawer and the contents that were inside. If he was my new years kiss, then this would really be starting over for us—a chance to start on a completely fresh slate. I had known tonight would be a huge pivotal point in our relationship.

_Fifteen…_

It was a little more difficult to reach him than I thought it would be due to the number of bodies crammed into the small space. It seemed he was having the same amount of difficulty because he flashed me a frustrated smile.

_Ten…_

He was ten feet away from me now. I could probably touch him if I reached out my hand towards him.

_Nine…Eight…Seven…_

Suddenly, he stopped moving, less than six feet away. His attention was diverted from me and he was staring at someone who was standing at his side…a particular strawberry blonde had her manicured hands wrapped around his forearm and was searching his eyes for something.

_Tanya._

I froze in my spot, unable to look away. I wasn't sure if they were speaking or not; neither of them moved towards each other but they didn't move apart either.

_Six…Five…Four…_

As the entire room chanted _"Three!" _in unison, I turned on my heel to take myself out of the situation, part of emotional survival 101. I pushed past people as quickly as I could, my ears ringing with the shouts and yells of the rest of the countdown.

I finally found an exit just as screams of "_Happy New Years!" _rang throughout the building. I pushed it open, the cold crisp air enveloping me like a cold glove. My lungs filled with the cold air as I took necessary gulps of the rest of my champagne in my hand.

_What the fuck just happened._ I replayed the image in my mind, not sure that I saw correctly. People in Seattle could have strawberry blonde hair, right? I hadn't seen her face clearly, but I saw Edward's—his face had been torn with confusion and anger as he stared at her. There was no way that wasn't her.

I groaned in frustration, wanting so badly to just march back in there and claim him as mind but my heels were firmly planted to the ground.

Why was she here? Had he invited her? Were they still speaking? He must have told her he was here—she wasn't from here after all. There was no way she'd just randomly bump into him in this hole in a wall bar.

All the questions I should have asked came bubbling up to the surface, like the champagne I had just chugged. _I should have asked. I should have asked. _I was naïve. I was young. I was stupid. And I was infatuated. I had been blind to the things that I hadn't wanted to see and now it was biting me in the ass.

I clenched my eyes shut, part of me surprised that he hadn't rushed out to chase me, but the other part of me knew that was completely expected.

Even if it was over between them, she still had more of him than I did. He had made that declaration of love to her once before—he had asked her to _marry_ him, to share a life with him. All that he has asked me to share with him has been his bed.

Tanya had love and devotion from him, even if they were both no longer present in his mind. I had stolen kisses, touches when no one was looking, and caring eyes from behind closed doors. I put my hands over my eyes, my resolve weakening for a moment.

Only a moment though.

I opened my eyes, finding strength from a place within me I didn't know existed until now.

I let the plastic champagne flute fall from my hand to the ground with a clunk, and glanced back at the door to the bar. No one had seen me exit the room in such a rush—why should they? It was new years; it was a time for celebration, not running.

I hailed a cab outside of the parking lot, sending Rose a quick text saying I caught a cab and not to worry. I tossed my phone back into my clutch and sunk into the leather backseat of the taxi.

"Happy new years," the driver greeted me, smiling at me through the rearview mirror.

_Yeah, happy fucking new years._

* * *

**Sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did, when in fact, they should be looking at why you did it.**


End file.
